The Light Who Shines (16 page)

Jack Tanner: May 28, 2022, Red Ages

I bound up the steps toward Blue’s apartment at inhuman
speed. Coming to a halt just inches before the door, I listen for a moment to
the soft sounds of her movements within. Varg knows I’ve arrived, and his scent
and the sound of his padded feet move closer to the door. I knock before he
alerts Blue to my arrival.

“Coming!” Blue yells through the door.

A few moments later, the door swings opens and my eyes drink
her in. She is a vision in a blue silk halter gown that molds perfectly to the
curves of her breasts, narrows with her waist, and flares out around her hips. Sparkling
crystals gracefully adorn her ears and neck. But it’s her skin that holds me
prisoner. It smells of coconut and lavender, and it shimmers under her aura,
giving her an ethereal glow. Large expanses of her beautiful skin are visible,
from the tantalizing curves of her breasts to her long, graceful neck. Crystal
pins catch her hair in elegant waves. The blue streak of her hair is pulled in
with the waves and brings my gaze up to her eyes. And finally, her soft, pink,
rounded lips are lightly glossed and slightly parted as she takes in my attire
with rounded eyes.

I suppress a smile as she seems to realize herself and wraps
her shawl more tightly around her shoulders. I inquire, “Are you going to let
me in?”

“Ohh!” she stammers nervously. “I’m sorry. I just have to
grab my purse. Come on in.”

She steps back and quickly retreats behind the sheer curtain
that separates her bedroom from the rest of the apartment. As she moves, I
can’t help but admire the soft swishing of her skirt around her hips and the
beautiful bare legs stretching from her strappy black heels to the hem of her
skirt. I suck in my breath at the long expanse of bare skin on her back, and
desire hits me hard.

She picks up a tiny, black beaded bag hanging from a silver
chain and heads back my way. I avert my gaze from her enticing form by
examining her apartment. It’s a small but comfortably furnished space, and her
feminine touches are pleasant without being overpowering. I frown as I ponder
the sliding glass doors to the terrace. Anyone could break in there. Maybe I
should have Xavier assess her apartment for security. How could I legitimately
approach her on the subject?

When I’ve finished pondering her security and perusing her
abode, I allow my eyes to settle back on Blue. She squirms a bit under my gaze
and asks, “Am I dressed alright?” She looks too perfect for words.

I say, “Turn around.”

She slowly spins around, and her skirt flares out, lifting slightly
and then settling back down around her thighs like a gentle mist. She is so
beautiful, I can feel myself hardening just from looking at her across the
room. I catch her eyes with my gaze, and her lips part slightly again. Christ!
I’m acting like a schoolboy on his first date.

I quickly move to her patio window and look outside to reign
in my lust. I check my emotions so she can’t tell how she’s making me react. When
I’ve wrestled my feelings down, I respond as coolly as I can, “You’ll do
nicely.”

Blue looks down at Varg and says, “I think I might have a
problem with him. He’s gotten out of my car twice by himself, and one of those
times I know for sure the doors were locked. I’m afraid he’s going to try to
follow us.”

I look closely at Varg, who has his gaze fixed on me in
return. I walk toward Blue while looking directly at Varg and put my arm around
her shoulders, leaning in close. I try not to think of her soft skin beneath my
hand as I firmly say, “Varg, Blue is with me. I’ll stay by her and keep her
safe. You stay and guard the place.”

Varg looks away and walks toward the sofa to spread out on
the shag rug. With that, I pull Blue out of the apartment, reluctantly dropping
my arm as soon as we close the door.

I let Blue into my car and watch her settle back comfortably
before closing the door. She takes a moment to look around and lightly runs her
fingers across the exposed leather seat. She takes in a deep breath of air,
obviously enjoying the aroma of leather that surrounds her.

I decide it’s wise to put my eyes on the road and move to a
neutral topic. I inquire, “Did you learn anything else about the case today?”

She takes a minute to respond, her eyebrows furrow and her
upper teeth bite gently into her lower lip. It drives me crazy when she does
that.

“I’m chasing some information that Jason’s best friend gave
me.”

This statement is so woefully slim on details, leading me to
assume she doesn’t want to discuss it right now. I nod at this and repeat my new
mantra in my mind: eyes on the road, eyes on the road.

Blue angles herself toward me in her seat, and I can feel
her gaze on me. She asks, “Do you do a lot of charity events like this?”

I look at her quickly, then remembering my mantra, I return my
eyes to the road. “I try to.”

She says, “I didn’t realize you were so philanthropic.”

Yikes, I don’t want her to start imagining me as some prince
charming and forget who I am. I need to put this in perspective for her, but I
don’t want to shock or scare her either. I try to respond in an easy tone. “You
know, Blue, I am a Vampire, and that means I drink blood to survive. It is
always donated freely, but it doesn’t always come from a bag.”

Out of my peripheral vision, I see Blue wince a bit at that
last part. Good. She needs a dose of reality.

“I carry Lilith’s dark mark on my soul, and my craving for
human blood will never go away. I have known many Daylight Vampires, friends
even, who always seemed totally in control. They lived perfectly normal lives,
drinking only donated blood, then suddenly gave into their bloodlust one day. I
don’t know why they stopped fighting the desire, but they did. So while I’m
still in control, I want to do as much good as I can. I am not a saint for
doing good things. I am simply trying to make up for the inevitable.”

She stares at her hands quietly for a minute, thinking about
this. Then she asks in a small voice, “Do you ever feel out of control?”

I can feel her gaze on me again, and I frown slightly. “I’ve
been alive for hundreds of years, Blue.” I let this fact settle in her mind
before going on. “There are times the bloodlust rises stronger, times of
passionate emotion and rage or times of physical need. Yet I’m in full control
of the choices I make, and I think that if after all this time a situation
hasn’t happened to cause me to lose control, it’s not going to happen. I have
to assume it’s the same with other Daylight Vampires. The only time I can see
that giving into bloodlust is not a conscious choice is when a Daylight Vampire
has been harmed or starved to the point of mindless thirst.”

Ever the inspector, Blue asks, “Do you have any guesses as
to why Vampires suddenly give into bloodlust?”

“I don’t know for sure, but perhaps they are tired of being
in control. Certainly the fact that the Plane of Fire is an inevitability for
us plays an important role in the decision to give up the fight. It would be
better if we could die an honorable death in some way and go to the Plane of
Light. However, I’m in no danger of giving up any time soon.”

I look over at her to judge how she’s taking this news. She
shocks me by briefly touching my arm. Her elegant, thin fingers are as light as
a butterfly on my forearm, which she caresses in one long motion. Jesus Christ,
she’s soothing me! She should be scared out of her mind, but instead she’s
soothing me!

She returns her hand to her lap and says, “I trust you,
Jack.”

My chest is oddly tight as I keep my eyes firmly on the road
and press my lips together. I don’t know what to think of her.

She apparently decides a change of subject is in order. She
suddenly says, “I grew up at the Green Tree Orphanage. Did you know that?”

Now my chest feels even tighter and I nod slightly. I know
very well that she grew up in that orphanage.

“The housemothers were mostly kind, but when I was younger,
the kids were not. They called me a Witch, and they were afraid of me. I learned
that what you are isn’t the same as who you are, Jack. I learned that who you
are is more important.”

Right now, my heart feels like it’s going through a vice. I
can’t believe she just told me that to make me feel better about being a
Vampire. I glance at her, and she seems lost in thought now. I’m so glad
because I don’t think I could speak right now without my voice cracking. I keep
my hands on the wheel and try to ignore the presence of one of the kindest and
most beautiful people I’ve ever met who is sitting just inches away from me,
doing nothing at all, yet slicing my control into ribbons with ease. Focus on
the road, focus on the road.

Just then, in the middle of a commercial area downtown,
traffic slows to a stop. A small crowd of Dilectus Deo march back and forth in
front of a blood bank, protesting the giving of blood.

As we drive by, Blue says in a sad voice, “That man’s sign
says ‘Purify the human race.’ We spend all of our time trying to protect the
people, and it seems like half of them hate us.”

For me, human hate means little because I know what it was
like before the Great Pact, and I understand that humans have no chance against
Vampires if the bonds of the Great Pact are broken. Suddenly, though, I want to
know how it feels to someone who is Gifted and doesn’t have our strength.

“Blue, you said the kids were cruel to you at the orphanage.
Exactly what did you mean by that? How were they cruel?”

Blue takes a deep breath and begins talking in a soft voice,
hardly a whisper. I keep my eyes on the road, this time to afford her some
privacy and comfort as she starts to tell me her story.

“I remember one time when I was playing on the jungle gym, I
noticed one of the girls, Melanie, standing on a platform looking over the edge.
I could feel that she was very sad, a feeling of deep desolation. I went up to
her and asked her why she was so sad. She looked at me in anger and denied it. ‘I’m
not sad!’ She was lying.

“One of the older boys, Billy, was standing nearby, and when
he heard her he got in my face and yelled, ‘Stay away from her, you freak!
You’re making her sad!’ Then he shoved me hard. I lost my balance and fell off
the platform, down about eight feet onto the grass.”

I draw my breath in sharply, and my heart feels pressed
again as I listen to this story. I knew about her fall at the orphanage from
the reports I’d received, but I had no idea that the event was surrounded with
so much hatred.

Blue continues. “I cried and cried, but none of the kids
helped me up or called for the housemothers. I lay there for what seemed an
eternity with blood flowing out of my nose and sticks stabbing into my back.
When I was able to stand and made it inside, the housemothers called the
doctor. He said I had a mild concussion and was very lucky not to have broken
my neck.

“Later I learned that Melanie was sad because a family had come
to pick a child to adopt. She had been one of the girls they were thinking of
adopting, but they picked another girl instead. I imagine she was mad at me
because I knew how heartbroken she was, and she didn’t want anyone to know.”

My heart beats wildly in my chest as I think of Blue as a
little girl and how hurt she must have been. Knowing Blue, though, she didn’t
tell me the worst of it at the outset. So I prod the wound with a hot poker,
determined to learn the extent of the injury. I ask as casually as I can, “Was
that the worst thing that happened in the orphanage?”

Blue sighs and looks out the window at the houses running
past us. She says in a small voice, “No.”

Just as I suspected. “Would you tell me about the worst of
it? I know it’s personal, so of course you don’t have to.” I struggle for a
reason that she will accept as being good enough to share her childhood pain.
“It will help me to understand how the Norms’ hatred of the Gifted impact their
lives. That is important for me to know.”

She sighs again, then she says, “Okay, Jack. I’ll give you
my worst story, but please don’t share it with anyone. The kids hated to play
hide and seek with me because I could sense their souls, so I always knew where
they were. I would join anyway, even though they didn’t want me. One time I ran
up the attic stairs to find where Becca was hiding. I knew where her best
hiding place was, of course, but none of the other kids did. I had found
everybody else, and there was nothing I could do then except to find her, so I
ran upstairs to her hiding spot. She was standing at the top of the staircase
on the landing to the attic. When I reached the top of the stairs she was very
mad that I’d found her. She said, ‘Get away from me, you Witch,’ and she kicked
me. Her foot caught my shoulder, and I lost my balance.”

I hear the creak of the steering wheel just then and realize
that I am in danger of ripping it off the car. I relax my grip and unclench my
teeth to listen to the rest of Blue’s story.

“I rolled down the long flight of wooden stairs, breaking my
arm in three places. My bone was sticking out of my forearm and blood was
dripping everywhere. Becca walked right over me, not caring at all that I was
hurt. To her I was just a thing, less than a thing, really. In my heart I know
that had I died on that fall she would have just walked right over me and kept
playing the game.”

The fury within me is enormous, but it is easily eclipsed by
the sea of my own guilt. If it weren’t for me, Blue never would have gone
there. I should have found her a loving home. How stupid I was to imagine her
safe!

“By then I knew better than to expect help from the other
children. I didn’t cry despite the pain, though I definitely came close to
chewing a hole in my lip. I lay there on the third floor landing for a while
with blood gushing out of my arm until I had the courage to move. I twisted
around because I was too faint to stand, and I scooted down on my butt to the
second floor landing. When I reached it, I called for Anna Marie, my favorite housemother.
She and the other housemothers got me into bed and called the doctor. The
doctor set my arm and had a few private words with Anna Marie.”