The Line That Binds Series Box Set (58 page)

“LJ, please say something,” Ben breathed, reaching his arms out again.

I looked at the definition in his biceps as he cupped his hands behind my shoulders. His arms willed me to fade into him. The draw was there like every other time, the comfort. I could feel my body yearning to be held, to be cradled by his strength. But I couldn’t let that happen. “You lied,” I whispered and his body stiffened and stopped moving.

“I’m sorry. I just wanted—”

“I’ve been hearing that phrase a lot lately. ‘I just wanted.’ My mom said it the other night, now you. Why is it always what everyone else wants? What about what I want?” I asked, incapable of silencing the anger in my voice.

I stepped out of his grasp and watched his face scrunch as if he were in pain. “
I
wanted you to tell me the truth. That’s what you promised after keeping the well from me the first time. And when Dad found out about your past, you said you’d always tell me the truth.
I
wanted you to be different.”

“I never wanted to hurt you. I knew if I found the answers we could fix everything.”

“Is that what all of this is about, fixing me? Saving me?” I asked, motioning between us.

“No. We aren’t only about that. Have I not told you the reasons I love you, the reasons I want to be with you?”

I nodded, knowing he had, but pursed my lips. “It doesn’t really matter, Ben. You hid this from me,” I whispered. Gripping the stone hard against my thigh, I brushed past him, snatched my phone from the desk, and headed for the door.

He grabbed my arm lightly and spun me around. “Don’t leave like this. You have to hear me out.” His fingers slid down, hooking my hand. His other hand joined the first before I could protest. “I will do everything I can to fix this. You mean more to me than anyone. Please believe that.” He whispered the last part with a crack in his voice. The deep brown eyes that could make my heart stop stared at me with sadness far worse than I’d ever seen.

I needed space. I needed to process it all and I couldn’t do that near him.

Knock. Knock.
“Ben? Is everything okay?” Lloyd’s voice came from the hallway.

“Shit,” Ben uttered.

“Give me the key,” I demanded. The space I needed didn’t include him coming to my bedroom uninvited.

He looked from the door to me. “Please don’t shut me out.”

“Give me the key, Ben.” I held out the same hand that was holding my phone. He reached into the pen holder on his desk and grabbed to skeleton key for the basement doors.

“Ben?” Lloyd said again.

Ben placed the key over my phone and I closed my fingers around the cool metal. “Don’t do this, LJ. Please talk to me.”

“I’ll let you know when I’m ready to,” I said, then opened the door to Lloyd.

His eyes widened and he quickly adjusted the thin, navy-colored robe over his stomach. “LJ?” he asked as I moved past him without a greeting.

After what I’d just found out, my manners were the last thing I cared about. I jogged down the hall to the basement. Using the front door wasn’t an option. I had enough to deal with already without involving Dad.

“What is she doing here, Ben?” I could hear Lloyd ask when I got to the bottom of the stairs. I kept moving, hoping he’d stall Ben long enough for me to leave without another word. As I stepped around the heavy boxing bag, I heard a huge thud from something hitting the floor. I glanced back to see Ben crouched at the bottom as though he’d jumped every stair.

He stood fast and rushed up behind me, meeting me at the door to the back storage room. “Wait. I know you’re scared, but we’ll get through this. Dammit, LJ, please just stop,” he said gruffly.

“I’m not just scared, Ben,” I said and turned back to him, noticing Lloyd at the bottom of the stairs watching us. “You kept this from me. If you truly cared, you would’ve told me, regardless. I didn’t need you to protect me. I needed you to be honest,” I yelled, holding out the stone.

Ben dropped his eyes to the ground and Lloyd took a few steps closer to us, looking intently at my hand. “What is that?” he asked.

Ben’s head shook a little, knowing this had gotten far worse than he probably expected. Lloyd had told Ben a lot about the well because of Aunt Janine, but I knew Ben hadn’t shared any info about me. “LJ,” Ben whispered, glancing back up to me. His eyes were dull and distant. He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’m sorry.”

“Benjamin,” Lloyd said, trying to get Ben’s attention. Ben still didn’t turn to face him. His eyes were on me, waiting for my next move. Lloyd moved closer and stared at the stone. “Memories…” He read the single word quietly. “Genie… So it’s true,” he whispered as I turned and swung open the door.

I moved around the broken furniture, heading toward the concaved wall and the door to my escape. Aunt Janine’s nickname bounced inside my mind like an echo I couldn’t shake.
Genie.
As I opened the narrow door to the passageway, it all sunk in. Was this the reason for her memory loss? The cause of her Alzheimer’s? I gasped and turned around, staring at Ben. He was still on the other side of the first doorway. Lloyd was attempting to talk to him, but Ben’s eyes were focused on something far beyond a physical reach.

“How could I be so stupid?” I yelled at myself more than at them. They both looked across the room at me. Ben’s eyes popped open and he crossed into the dirt room with a renewed purpose. Lloyd was right behind him. I held up a hand to let Ben know to stop. I didn’t want him any closer. “You knew about the memories a lot longer than finding this stone last night, didn’t you? You’ve known all along that the curse was connected to Aunt Janine’s memory loss? I’m such an idiot. How did I not connect it all?” I sobbed and more tears clouded my eyes. My body shook so hard my legs threatened to give out, but I couldn’t let them. I had to know if he had known this whole time.

He didn’t reply. He didn’t have to. His hands pushed through his hair again and yanked as if he were punishing himself. “LJ, I—”

“All this time I’ve trusted you! Loved you!” I screamed. He cringed like I’d slapped him. I wanted to slap him. I wanted to hurt him as badly as I was hurting. After taking a shaky breath, I said, “At least I knew what lies to expect from my old superficial friends. This just… It j-just hurts… so much more.” A whimper followed the words and I covered my mouth, fighting the breakdown about to takeover. There was nothing left to say, no reason left to stay. So I looked at him once more, seeing the sorrow in his eyes before I moved around the door, locked it, and ran blindly into the tunnel.

I tucked the stone under my arm and fumbled with my phone, trying to light the rest of the way. When I finally got the screen to illuminate, I tripped over a root and fell face first. Breathing in the smell of the musty soil, I let loose. Tears fell faster than my eyelids could blink, rolling unrestrained over my cheeks and down my chin. I lay there for a while, giving my agony to the darkness. The tunnel seemed less frightening now. Maybe because I knew I’d face a greater fear soon enough. One I couldn’t run from. Eventually, I would look it in the eye, unable to remember its name.

“Tell me!” Pop demanded, standing beside me while my eyes remained fixed, unblinking, on the passageway door.

I was completely torn. She wouldn’t want me to come after her. It might make her even angrier. But the urge to go and take her in my arms was almost impossible to control.
Dammit!
I yanked my hair again, wanting to feel the pain in any other place than my chest. It was wound so tight I was ready to explode. And I brought it all on myself. I should’ve told her everything from the start even if it made me sound like a freaking lunatic. Even if it ended us before we began. Whether I’d believed the curse or not, at least she would’ve had the chance to decide for herself.

“Benjamin!” Pop yelled again, pulling my arm to make me face him.

I finally blinked and looked at him without a word.

“Is it the curse? Does it have her?” His voice was quieter now, maybe from seeing my face or maybe from realizing the answer before I could give it. “How did this happen?”

Feeling tears filling behind my lids, I lifted my shirt and wiped my face, hoping everything would disappear when I opened my eyes again. There was no magic strong enough to do that for me, though. The only thing that would take it all away was the answer. That was the only hope we had left.

His question brought me back to the day at the well. “It was an accident,” I said, pulling my shirt down.

“How long?”

Looking anywhere but his eyes, I said, “A week after they moved here.”

“Dammit, Benjamin. Why in the hell didn’t you tell me? Christ!” He began to pace and rub his bald head, concerned with what it all meant, knowing what I’d been fearing this whole time.

“I’m sorry. I thought LJ and I would’ve found something in her house to solve it all by now.”

“Is that where the stone came from?”

“Yes. That was the second one. We found the first one on my birthday.” I sighed, looking back toward the door. I knew I’d have to get back in her house to keep looking. Would she let me back in after this?

“I take it that they don’t offer a solution.”

“There’s still one stone missing.”

“Genie never mentioned missing stones, let alone them having info about the curse.” He sighed and stopped pacing to adjust his robe. His face turned toward the passageway’s door and he put his hands on his hips. “What do they say?”

I took a deep breath, attempting to calm down. My heart wouldn’t stop its tortured marathon. It was acting as if it wanted to burst from my body to be with LJ because of my betrayal. I understood. That was where it belonged now anyway: with her. I let the breath out, my nerves no calmer than before. “The first said, give of yourself, part of the line. Make one wish to set the bind.”

Pop’s blue eyes focused on me, yet I still couldn’t bring myself to look directly at him. He gave an audible, “Hmm,” while he thought.

“It was blood. LJ accidentally cut herself and got her blood on the well. That’s what started it all.”

The distant sound of delivery trucks traveled down from upstairs. The setup for today’s wedding was starting to arrive at the event house. The thought of happiness and love made my body shake. I’d just watched my happiness, my love, combust and burn to ash.

“And the second?” he prompted, ignoring the truck noises.

“Memories gained, memories lost. For someone’s today at your yesterday’s cost,” I recited. They were words that would stay with me until I took my last breath.

“All this time and I was starting to doubt her,” he whispered, his mind returning to Janine.

We both stared at the door in silence, our thoughts tumbling with confusion. “Does anyone else know? Carson? Simone?”

“Not as far as I know.”

“Let’s try to keep it that way, at least until we can figure out our next move.” He turned to face me and I still kept my eyes on the door. “Has it started to affect her memory? Is that why she was upset?”

I nodded. “The party. She said she was coming to find me and she forgot who I was. She was confused and hurt because of her mom, and Ryan was there with open arms.” The last words cut my heart open again. He nodded back at me, finally understanding what had happened that night. To answer the rest of his question, I continued, “She’s scared. But you heard the rest. She’s more upset that I knew and didn’t tell her.”

“I know you care an awful lot for her, Ben. You’ll have to try your hardest to regain her trust. She’s going to need your strength.”

“I kept her in the dark about the curse once already. I don’t think she’s going to forgive me this time.”

He smacked a hand on my shoulder and I finally looked back at him. He was the man I trusted most in my life, the only one who cared. “Even if she gives up on you, you are not giving up on her.” He slid his hand from my shoulder and looked toward the stairs. “I’m disappointed that you kept this all from me, but what’s done is done. Now we figure out the next step. After breakfast, you’ll tell me everything you know about the curse. It’ll be difficult to get into the house to search now. Hopefully, there’s another way for us to find answers in the meantime.”