The Line That Binds Series Box Set (59 page)

“LJ!” Dad’s voice yelled from the other room.

His voice startled me, causing me to shift my position over the tub. The bath towel around my body bit into my chest where it folded. My damp hair hung loosely over my shoulders, almost dried. And the sponge in my hand was ice cold.

I stood and turned, unsure why his voice was raised and why I was scrubbing the tub. “Yeah?”

He turned into the bathroom. “I was knocking on your bedroom door. I thought maybe you had your headphones on or something,” he said then stared at my face. “Have you been crying?”

I dropped the sponge and looked at the mirror. My face was paler than usual, possibly because I was nearly frozen from the lack of clothes and wet hands. The tender skin around my eyes looked pink and puffy as if I’d been crying for hours. As the memory of this morning flooded back, I was certain I had been. A stinging within my sinuses warned me that more tears were building so I pinched the bridge of my nose and clenched my eyelids shut. I didn’t want him to know even the simplest explanation for all of my misery because that meant telling him that Ben and I had broken up. I couldn’t bear to see the glee in his eyes. Even if it were the tiniest of flashes, his satisfaction about our end would only wreck me more.

“The chemicals,” I lied, opening my eyes after I’d gotten control of the tears. “They were a bit strong. I probably should’ve turned the fan on.”

He glanced around the room, then tipped his face down and looked at me skeptically. “Are you all right, LJ?”

“Fine,” I lied again. A chill ran through my body, causing my muscles to shake involuntarily. It was more than the cold of the room, though. It was knowing that I wasn’t fine. Despite having a father and a brother, I felt utterly alone. There was an emptiness engulfing my heart, drowning out all the love I’d gained since I’d moved here. And if that weren’t enough, another emptiness would soon claim my mind.

He nodded and pushed his hands into the pockets of his blue scrubs. “Okay,” he said, though I knew I hadn’t convinced him by the worry in his voice. “I’m off to work. It shouldn’t be a long day. I’m on a later shift this week so our schedules won’t conflict using the car. What time will you be off school again?”

“Normal time.”

“I thought you were starting that half-day thing?”

“Oh, right,” I said shaking my head. “I forgot that started tomorrow.” As soon as those words left my mouth, I winced. Was that the curse, or just a normal case of forgetfulness? Was this how it was going to be? Would I question every misplaced thought? I took a deep breath, trying to compose my jumbled head. “I should be back sometime before noon.”

He nodded. “I’m dropping Gavin at Taylor’s so you should have a nice quiet day.”

“Okay,” I replied. His statement made it clear that he saw right through me. Otherwise, he might’ve mentioned rules about Ben coming over while no one else was home.

“I’ll see you later.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his concerned eyes. As soon as he walked out, I looked down at the towel folded around my body. How long ago did I shower?

I had lain in the passageway, crying to the dirt for nearly an hour in order to calm myself before entering the sleepy house. I barely had the energy to move, but I also didn’t want to risk waking Dad and Gavin. It was after eight by the time I’d gotten into the shower.

I shivered again and forced myself to move into the bedroom for clothes. A brief glance at the alarm clock told me it was now after nine. The shower wasn’t long, and the last thing I could remember was tucking the towel around my body. Then everything skipped, like I was in some time warp. After that, Dad was calling me. It was the same thing that happened when Izzy came over before the Halloween party.

A T-shirt and clean yoga pants took the chill away immediately. I stared at the skeleton key on the top of the dresser, recalling the look in Ben’s eyes when I’d asked him to give it to me. More tears came before I could fend them off.

He knew the whole time.

He was my motivator for the search. Obviously, I wanted to find answers to stop the headaches and voices too, but he pushed me through, day after disappointing day. His drive was consistent and it guided me with the perfect amount of force. The office search yesterday was a lot different, though. He stopped talking as soon as we dove into countless binders and leather-bound books. It hurt, considering we’d just spent the night together. Everything started to make more sense as I thought about his words. He said he knew I wouldn’t leave him on purpose. I didn’t give those words much thought yesterday. Now I knew exactly what he meant. He was still thinking about the night before, but he wasn’t worried about what happened with Ryan. He was worried about my memory loss. He was worried about my mind leaving him.

I wiped the tears from my cheeks and tossed the key into the drawer. My eyes shifted to the closet, where the trunk sat locked with its leather straps buckled. I’d settled the second stone inside with the first one this morning, right before taking a shower. As I tried to keep the stones’ evil riddles from repeating in my head again, I climbed into bed. I was exhausted. The blankets restored more warmth to my body and my eyes grew heavy. I stared at the wispy gray clouds through the upper panes of my tall windows, my thoughts still on Ben.

I knew he’d try to talk to me sooner rather than later and I had no idea how I would handle it. He lied to me again with the choice to keep me in the dark. He was the only person I could trust and now it’s all gone. What if I’d known all along? Would I have even gone near the well? Maybe not. Or maybe the danger would’ve been too alluring, drawing me to the well sooner. I didn’t know. But either way, it should’ve been my choice to make. He had no right to take that decision from me.

How could I have been so stupid?

Monday came too soon since I’d slept through most of Sunday. The first time I’d woken, the scheduled wedding had already ended and the sun sat low behind the thinning forest, which was becoming more transparent with every falling leaf. At first, I thought I’d have trouble getting back to sleep, but it wasn’t hard at all. My body and mind welcomed the reprieve from reality, escaping into my dreams, vividly reliving my night in Ben’s bed. The sweet dreams woke me with a smile despite my pain. I knew what my heart felt, yet I wouldn’t let it control my judgment. I had to be stronger than those feelings or I’d wind up completely broken.

After dressing and throwing my hair into a messy bun, I grabbed my bag and went downstairs. In the kitchen, Gavin sat at the end of the breakfast bar with his headphones on. There was a note to me on the counter, a couple seats away from him. It was from Dad—who was still asleep—stating the car might need gas and that I should eat a good breakfast before I go to school since I hadn’t eaten last night.

“Morning,” I said, dumping the note and walking around Gavin.

He nodded and pulled an earpiece away from his ear, resting it on the side of his head so he could hear me. “Hey,” he replied with his eyes focused on the game in front of him. His long hair was slicked to the side. It didn’t even move when his headphones shifted.

I plugged half of a bagel into the toaster and watched him work his fingers on the game. I didn’t want to bother him, but I was curious how he was. We hadn’t really talked since the party.

As if we were thinking of the same thing, he tore his focus from the game and said, “Did you see her Friday night?”

Mom
. “Yeah. You and Taylor were in the ballroom when I saw her.”

“Did she move here like Dad said?”

“More than likely. I have to take Dad’s word for it because I didn’t let her talk much.”

He smirked at that. I removed my bagel and grabbed cream cheese from the fridge. “What do you think about it?” I asked after I finished my bagel prep, hoping he’d talk a bit.

“I don’t want her messing everything up.”

I nodded in agreement and started eating.

“Do you think Dad would take her back?” he asked then took a spoonful of cereal from the bowl next to his game.

“After everything he went through before and after she left? I think it’s safe to say that he will never take her back. Besides, I’m pretty sure he’s dating someone.”

“Dad’s dating? When did that happen?”

“Recently, I suppose.”

“Who?”

“Like I know. I’m not sure I want to either.” I had a feeling whomever Dad was getting cozy with was the same person telling him about Ben. Not that any of that mattered now. I looked down at the wood floor and pinched my nose, feeling the tears build behind my eyes.

“You okay?” Gavin asked, moving around the breakfast bar and setting his bowl in the sink. He turned and leaned against the counter, waiting for my answer.

Keeping the tears in check was easy enough at the moment, but what about in a half hour when I had to face Ben? There was no doubt in my mind he’d confront me today. And I was nowhere near ready.

I inhaled as I stared at Gavin’s sneakers. He no longer bothered to wipe the scuffs from the white leather. It wasn’t to fit in. Living here had just relaxed his preppy style. Dirt biking probably had something to do with it too. He was happy. No matter how miserable my situation was, I was glad he was finding himself here. I looked back up into his crystal eyes. “I’m fine, Gav. Thanks for asking, though.” Before he had more time to dwell on it, I grabbed the remainder of my bagel and walked around the breakfast bar to grab my bag.

“Good luck with Simone today,” he teased as I crossed into the front foyer.

“Thanks, jerkface,” I called over my shoulder and watched him grin before I opened the front door. “Later.”

I left earlier than usual to ensure I beat Ben to school. When I backed the car onto our shared driveway, I saw that his bike and car were still parked beside his house. Relief left me through a heavy sigh. At least I’d have time to get to my locker and possibly to homeroom without having to see him.

I normally wanted the commute to last longer, dreading the headaches and the voices that came with every school day. But today I’d rather deal with those than face Ben. By the time I entered the building, the student parking lot was half full. I hurried to my locker and homeroom without seeing him and could only hope the rest of the day would be as lucky.

Like clockwork, a headache kicked in before homeroom and continued its dull assault during English Lit. In the hall, I was bombarded with the voices. Most people wished to be smart enough to remember last week’s lessons for Monday morning pop quizzes. Others wished for the courage to talk to the person they were crushing on. I was distracted by them and the headache long enough that I forgot my new schedule. Midway to the art wing, I switched paths and hoofed it to the science wing for my new Chemistry class. Before reaching the door, I saw Izzy. Ben was beside her. His pitch black T-shirt made his face look gaunt and pale. Bags pressed under his eyes, heavy and draining. Shadows befitting his name. The tips of his hair flipped out at every angle, reminding me of how he looked the two times I’d woken up in his arms.

Within the next few steps, his dark eyes left the path on the floor ahead of him and looked up, instantly finding me through the numerous bodies between us. I felt tears threatening once again so I pressed my lips together and gritted my teeth, thinking about the anger instead of the sorrow.

I quickened my steps and pivoted when I reached the door, ready to enter.

“LJ.” Ben’s strained voice was already close by.

“Hey, LJ,” Izzy said cheerfully, evidently unaware of what had happened between Ben and me.

I couldn’t find the words to respond. Escape was the only thing on my mind. Before I had the chance to duck through the door, Ben’s hand was on my arm. He pulled me gently from the doorway and steered me in front of the lockers. Izzy looked confused, but she continued into class without waiting.

“I’m sorry,” he said, leaning his shoulder into the locker beside me. His hand remained clamped to my forearm, using just enough pressure to keep me from leaving. “What can I do to fix this?” His voice was soft next to my ear.

I watched the other students pass by us with my back pressed to the lockers. My free arm gripped my books tightly to my chest to quiet my heart. I still couldn’t look at him. I didn’t trust myself to resist the pull of his eyes. “Nothing, Ben.”

He sighed, knowing there wasn’t enough time to argue. When he released my arm, I took a step toward the door and found myself in front of Ryan and Adam.

“What is this?” Adam said enthusiastically as he rubbed a hand over his buzz cut. His fat nose was healed from last month’s fight, though it wasn’t as straight as it had been before meeting Spaz’s fist.

I glanced back to Ben. His eyes didn’t even acknowledge their presence. He reached out to take my arm again, but I pulled away before he could, leaving his hand midair and stepping away. I met Ryan’s gaze as I crossed the classroom’s threshold. Dark purple splotches spread underneath his right eye and across his cheek bone from the fight at the party. Noticing my exchange with Ben, he tilted his head as his thin lips pulled into a curious grin.