The Love Resort (9 page)

‘Great, you’re all ready to go. You’ve all got seats with your partners and I suggest it would be a good idea for you to try to stay together in a group. I know this is a romantic holiday you’re embarking on, but it wouldn’t hurt to bond a bit,’ Gemma suggested, and led them to passport control. ‘I have to leave you here. There are your passports and tickets and I hope you have a wonderful holiday.’

‘We will,’ Emily replied. They all said their goodbyes to her, then Tim led them enthusiastically onward.

Tim managed to get everyone through passport and customs in record time. He was like a military leader. Finally he led them to the nearest bar.

‘I suggest that we use this as our sort of base camp. Then if the girlies want to go shopping or whatever, they always know where to find us.’

‘I always know where to find you,’ Thea muttered.

‘What was that darling?’

‘Nothing. I need to go and buy some books.’ She mumbled in defeat.

‘I’ll come with you. I want something trashy for the plane,’ Carla said.

‘Oh, me too,’ Emily concurred.

‘I’ll have a glass of red wine and a whisky chaser,’ Tim requested from the barman.

‘I’ll have a pint,’ Lee said.

‘Isn’t it a bit early?’ Jimmy asked, and he saw Thea smile and Emily look angry.

‘Jimmy,’ Tim leant in close, ‘two things. One, we are now on holiday, and on holiday it’s never too early, and secondly, I am a bit nervous about flying.’

‘I’ll have a pint then,’ Jimmy said quickly, and Emily smiled approvingly at him.

*

‘So you’re an English lit grad?’ Thea asked as they stood in WH Smith, looking at books.

‘Yes, but don’t be horrified that I’m buying Jilly Cooper for my holiday reading.’

‘I’m not. Can I borrow it after you?’ Thea decided that she liked Carla, and picked up a thriller.

‘Sure. What about you, Emily? What are you after?’

‘I don’t know, something fun.’ She sounded unsure.

‘Oh, maybe we should all buy a book by Anne-Marie Langdale—you know, the woman who owns this resort. Horrible cheesy romance, but it would be a giggle,’ Thea suggested.

They each picked up a novel, vying to choose the worst title. ‘I have to win. This one’s called
A
Romance
Made
in
Devon
,’ Emily squealed excitedly.

‘How appropriate, although she’s probably never been to Devon,’ Carla said.

‘Probably not and she’ll make us all out to be simpletons, like people do.’

‘Really? Why?’ Thea asked.

‘Something about the countryside and our accents, I think. I mean, I’m not that well educated but I’m not stupid.’

‘It’s nothing to do with education. I just graduated but I don’t have an ounce of common sense. Anyway, I think your accent’s sexy,’ Carla added.

‘You do?’

‘Yes.’

‘I agree, and if I learn it then it will help me with my career,’ Thea added, wanting to sound friendly, although there was something about Emily that she was unsure of. Thea chastised herself; she always judged too quickly.

‘Fine, I’ll teach you,’ Emily offered, excited.

*

‘Same again,’ Tim ordered. ‘All round,’ he added, shooting a look at Jimmy.

‘So, tell me again. What happened that made you so scared?’ Jimmy asked, accepting his second pint hesitantly. He liked a drink but he’d never had even one in the morning before.

‘There was that film about the crash and everyone had to try to get out on those blow-up-doll-like things, and of course only about two people did. Then there was that film about those people who crashed and had to eat each other. Oh, and you’re always hearing about drunk pilots and stuff like that, and they only tell you to put your head between your legs so that if it crashes you die quicker,’ Tim finished.

Jimmy drank half of his pint very quickly.

‘I think you’re just scaring yourself. There are hardly any plane crashes these days,’ Lee said reasonably.

Still, Jimmy ordered a whisky chaser, feeling his nerves increase.

‘Hardly any, but not none. Now, what happens if the plane I happen to be on is the rare occurrence? It could be. I’m doomed. And so are you, by the way.’ He downed his latest drinks.

‘But they check them mechanically—they do check them, don’t they?’ Jimmy asked. He’d never been on a long flight before and it had not occurred to him to be scared of flying until Tim started.

‘Of course they do. They’re really thorough these days,’ Lee reasoned.

‘But we haven’t even touched on terrorism. I think we need another round,’ Tim added.

*

‘Those sunglasses really suit you,’ Emily said as Carla posed for them.

‘Yes, but I can’t afford them,’ she replied, looking at the price tag. ‘I’ll just have to stick to the ones that came free with a magazine, which I’ve had for years.’

‘You see, quality needn’t be expensive.’ Thea smiled, but she was worried about Tim. About how the other girls would go back to their wonderfully sober boyfriends and Tim would need to be carried on to the plane. Even though she was supposed to be on holiday, she couldn’t relax.

‘Shall we go and look at shoes we can’t afford next?’ Emily suggested.

They nodded and set off.

*

‘But security is better now than it’s ever been,’ Lee said, and then hiccuped.

‘Did they make us take off our shoes?’ Tim asked. ‘No, and my shoes look like they could have bombs in them.’

‘But they don’t?’ Jimmy was horrified.

‘No, of course not, but they didn’t check. I’m sorry, but I’m disappointed in the way they didn’t check my shoes.’

‘Or mine,’ Jimmy agreed.

‘Guys, let’s have another drink and talk about football,’ Lee suggested.

Jimmy was in no state to argue any more.

*

‘I think we’d better go,’ Thea said, looking at the time. They made their way to the bar, chattering about themselves and the holiday.

‘Ladies,’ Lee said, grabbing for Carla and almost knocking her out.

‘Oh, no,’ Carla said. ‘How did you all get in such a state? We’ve only been gone an hour.’

‘Jimmy, are you drunk?’ Emily asked. Jimmy shook his head.

‘Tim,’ Thea snapped.

‘Oh, darling, don’t be cross with me.’ He lunged towards her and tried to kiss her, but she dodged out of the way.

‘Our flight is boarding and unless you guys pull yourselves together this is going to be the shortest holiday in the history of the world,’ Thea told them.

She managed to organise everyone. The women took the bags, the boys were to walk behind their girlfriends and not speak. If they were going to fall over, or anything stupid like that, they were just to lean on their girlfriends’ shoulders and the others would help. In the event, they weren’t quite as drunk as they first seemed, and Tim walked as if he’d been drinking water. They boarded and took their seats.

‘When do we get to order drinks?’ Tim asked. Thea scowled at him.

‘Can I rest my head on your shoulder?’ Lee asked. Carla nodded.

‘I just wish they’d checked my shoes,’ Jimmy repeated, and Emily gave him a confused look.

10

Welcome
Letter

Dear Guests,

Congratulations on a wonderful choice of holiday. The owner, management and all the staff wish to extend a very warm welcome to you.

A welcome meeting will be awaiting you to outline The Love Resort and the opportunities that are available for you.

You will find all the information you need in this guest handbook, and the friendly staff are always on hand to answer any of your questions.

Enjoy your stay!

Anne-Marie Langdale

Guest
Handbook

*

‘So, what do you want to do today?’ Katie asked, as she and Todd breakfasted on their terrace on the first day of their honeymoon.

‘Sit in the sun?’ He couldn’t stop the sarcasm in his voice, and he felt guilty. She was only trying to be friendly—too friendly, admittedly, but there was no reason for him to be mean. He smiled, trying to convey his apology.

‘Great, great.’ He noticed that she looked hurt for a moment; it wasn’t often that Katie showed any vulnerability and it made him feel awful.

‘I’m going to collapse by the pool.’ He smiled again, but it felt like a mammoth effort. He was tired, having at first been too scared to sleep, then too tired to stay awake, resulting in him being tormented all night by nightmares where she was the predator and he was her helpless prey.

‘Great,’ she smiled as she took a sip of orange juice and pushed her half-eaten breakfast away. ‘I’ll get all this cleared up and go change.’

From inside he could hear her call Marcus to clear the dishes away, then she called Mary to request she come and do some urgent laundry, then she called Erik and asked him to come and discuss lunch. Perhaps she had her new entourage after all, Todd thought.

He poured himself another coffee and sighed. He picked up the newspaper, which had been left outside the door, and started to read. Despite everything, he felt sorry for Katie. She was so sure that it was wrong to do anything for herself now that she was famous, and he didn’t think that was necessarily her fault. He shook his head as he drank his coffee. He was going soft. David would be furious.

‘It’s OK, I’m done,’ Todd said to Marcus, aware that he was blushing slightly. All of a sudden he had gone from composed film star to insecure teenager.

‘Was everything all right?’ he asked, pointing to Katie’s half-full plate.

‘Sure, she doesn’t really eat,’ he explained, feeling tongue-tied and awkward.

Marcus threw him his best smile, displaying the whitest teeth that Todd had ever seen, and started loading up the tray.

‘Oh, Marcus, darling,’ Katie said as she emerged, dropping her sarong like a stripper and sauntering towards them, ‘what a glorious day.’

Both Todd and Marcus looked at her, eyes wide with amusement.

‘Ma’am.’ He bowed, but Todd could see his eyes were still laughing.

‘Marcus, do you think you could help me? I need some headache pills, and I don’t seem to have any.’

‘You have a headache, Katie?’ Todd asked.

‘No, but I might. It’s the sun, you see; it might give me a headache.’ She emphasised the word ‘might’.

‘Any preference?’

‘No. Maybe Advil or something like that. I’m not fussy.’ As she said this she looked straight at Todd. Todd guessed that she was trying to impress him by acting all low maintenance, but he would never believe that of her.

‘And shall I just bring them?’ he asked.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, this is your honeymoon.’

‘Oh, I understand. Yes, you can just bring them. If we want privacy we’ll close the door and hang the “Do not disturb” sign on it,’ she laughed.

Todd shuddered at the idea, and Marcus, shooting Todd one last smile, left.

As soon as he’d gone, Mary arrived. Todd greeted her warmly, glad that there was a steady stream of people.

‘Oh, Mary, darling, I wonder if you could help me with my laundry?’ Katie asked, in her nicest voice.

Todd, who had heard the way she spoke to her own staff, or anyone she didn’t consider important, found her behaviour amusing. She was being nice to them, and Todd couldn’t help but feel that it was because of him. It didn’t sound, or feel genuine.

‘Of course, ma’am.’

‘Oh, Mary, stop all that ma’am business and call me Katie. Would you like an autographed picture?’

‘Um, yes, please,’ Mary replied, looking confused. Todd chuckled to himself.

‘Come with me, and let’s see what needs doing.’ Katie started towards the door and Mary followed behind her.

Todd set himself up on a sun-lounger by the pool and picked up the script of the movie he was due to direct. It wasn’t only homework, but also a reminder of why he was there, why he had to stay and why he had to make the marriage look like it was working. He covered himself in the highest factor sun lotion, rubbing it in with the paranoia of someone whose youthful appearance mattered, and he lay back. He knew he was vain and ambitious, he didn’t make excuses for that. He wasn’t a bad person and, anyway, he was paying the price. It was a high price.

‘Todd, shall I do your back?’ Katie trilled, sitting herself down next to him and making him jump.

‘No, I’m staying on my front for now.’ He balked at the thought of her touching him.

‘Well, could you do mine?’ she asked, fluttering her eyelashes and acting coy. He made a face and took the bottle of suntan lotion from her. As soon as he had rubbed it into her back, he handed it to her and lay down again.

‘Thank you...such lovely hands, so wonderfully soft,’ she said in a husky voice. Then she began to make a number of noises that Todd could only assume were meant to turn him on. Horrified, he buried his head in his script.

The script was good, and Todd found it as absorbing as when he first read it. He began visualising it, imagining how he would direct it. He felt an electric buzz running through his veins, and he knew that he was right.

‘Sir, madam.’ Erik, the rotund chef, appeared in front of them, sweat dripping off his brow, and pale as if he never saw any sun, which, stuck in the kitchen nearly all day every day, he didn’t.

‘Erik,’ Todd greeting him, ‘those pancakes at breakfast were the best I ever tasted.’

‘Thank you, sir.’ The effect of the compliment was visible on his cheek. ‘You wish to discuss lunch?’

‘Oh, yes, Erik, but Todd’s working, so how about we go inside?’ suggested Katie.

‘Thanks,’ Todd said in surprise.

‘Before I go, I do have a message from Mrs Langdale. She wondered if you would like to have lunch with her and her publisher today.’

‘Sure, that’d be great. But can we have it here?’ Todd answered.

‘Of course, sir.’

As Erik and Katie disappeared, he turned his attention back to his script. She was trying so hard, he had to give her that. For a moment he felt sorry for her again. So she was known as the biggest pain in the arse in Hollywood. She was also known for being the biggest slut when it came to sleeping her way into film roles, but she was in the false marriage too, she was just handling it differently; she was deluding herself that it was actually real. As soon as they’d been declared man and wife, Katie had launched her mission to make her husband straight. Todd had been alarmed, then very scared. He knew that he’d never succumb to her wild idea that she would suddenly make him heterosexual but he thought that maybe they could have some sort of friendship. He felt she deserved that. At the very least he had to earn her trust. Because for his movie to work, she had to be good in it, and it would take a great director, or a magician, or a miracle worker to get that out of her. He silently chastised himself; again, it all came back to his career.