The Low Notes (21 page)

“
That should cover it,” she whispered.

They were alone in the room, as usual. Kevin took her assignments and set them on his desk with a sigh. Of course she’d done the makeup work. But he knew she wouldn’t be talking to him today. He'd have to give her more time. Maybe he'd never bring it up again. He nodded absently and opened his desk drawer, grabbing something for her.

“
Here,” he said, handing her the object slowly.

Nina reached out, her face twisted in confusion as she took her scarred cell phone from Kevin’s grasp.

“
I found it in the parking lot.”

“
When?” she asked.

Kevin’s heart leapt at the sound the crack in her voice made.

“
When I came looking for you.”

Nina scoffed. “Well thanks.”

She started toward the door and Kevin’s mind was paralyzed.

“
Did you get my note?” he whispered.

She turned back suddenly.

“
I burned it,” she spat.

He watched her grit her teeth at him again and his insides ached. His eyes lowered and he nodded in shame then saw her leave. His hand reached up and stroked at his brow while he closed his eyes in pain.

Chapter Forty-Five

December

Nina forced herself to wake up as she done for the past few weeks. She dragged herself out of bed and into the shower, to her closet, to the car. She did the same thing each day like a zombie, exactly the same way. Kevin managed to take the hint a few weeks prior and he hadn't tried talking to her since.

Though time had passed, her wounds still felt fresh every time she saw his face. She noticed his eyes were growing steadily darker, with deeper bags underneath them. They probably shared a common theme at night. Stare at the ceiling for a few hours, roll over and stare at the wall for another hour then fall asleep only to be rudely awakened by the alarm just an hour, sometimes minutes, later.

She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed before heading downstairs to leave for school. It was the last day of school before Winter break. She had two finals to take then she'd be done with school for two weeks. After school she’d be packing her things to accompany James on their family’s annual Christmas getaway to Florida. Nina always hated missing the Christmas Day snow in Wexley Falls but this year she was glad to be getting away.

Nina took a deep breath before walking into room B100. Sometimes it seemed like she never left. Each time she sat down, all of the memories from before came flooding back to her. From the first day of school to the countless days she and Kevin eyed each other secretly. Even the time they stood wordlessly feeling each other in the dark. Now all of that seemed so long ago.

Kevin handed out the final not looking at Nina as he did so. For the first time since their fight, Nina felt sorry for him. It came on suddenly, just a slight pinch in her stomach. She’d been having long conversations with herself, trying to think of what she should say to him. At other times she thought she never wanted to talk to him again. But each time she remembered their encounter in the dressing room she couldn’t help but let her mind stay fixed on what she'd told him.
Figure it out.
And then she thought maybe he had figured it out and she should let him plead his case.

When the bell rang the students leapt from their seats with more enthusiasm than normal. Only a few more hours until break, then only one more semester until freedom. Nina waited, putting her books in her bag slowly, something she hadn’t done in so long it felt strange.

Glancing to her side, Nina saw Kevin at his desk with his head down. He was staring intently at the stack of tests in front of him. Nina also saw his hands were balled into fists, his knuckles growing white.

She wanted to talk but when she opened her mouth, nothing came out. She didn’t know what to say to even break the silence. Maybe she should just leave. Then Kevin looked up at her, his eyes piercing right through her.

“
Hi,” she squeaked.

His face softened. “Hello.”

Nina let out a heavy sigh. She was still so angry and yet his face warmed her heart unintentionally.

“
I was just wondering if you felt like talking.”

His brow lifted and he blew out a gust of air from his lips. She watched as he instinctively glanced at the door before his hands relaxed and one moved up to grip the back of his neck as he looked in thought.

“
Nina, I’ve thought a lot about us. I feel like that’s all I’ve been doing lately but I still don’t know what the right thing is to say.”

She walked to him slowly and leaned against his desk casually.

“
Say how you really feel,” she said trying to coax it from him gently.

Nina saw him open his mouth with the threat of words approaching but nothing came. His eyes lowered, avoiding her before he actually worked up the courage to speak.

“
It’s not right. I know it’s more complicated than that but there’s only one realistic option. To end it.”

Her heart felt strangled and her mouth went dry. It wasn’t that she expected him to propose marriage or even to profess love but she didn’t think he'd make it sound so final. So matter of fact. There were plenty of other options but he was too much of a coward to even think of them.

“
That’s bullshit,” she snarled.

“
Nina, come on…”

“
No! You’re just saying that because it’s what you think your friends and Mr. and Mrs. Benson and...your father would say,” though her voice was hushed, the iciness of her tone was clear.

“
You didn’t know my father, Nina. Watch what you say next,” he warned.

“
I know enough. About twenty pages short of what you’d have the world know.”

Her body became ridged against the side of his desk, no longer leaning but steadying herself, careful not to be knocked over by her own rage.

Kevin’s eyes lit up with fury, nearly matching Nina’s. She instantly regretted her cruel words and the low she had stooped to. But she wasn’t satisfied with his answer and she wanted another one.

Kevin stared at her shaking his head. “Jesus, you’re seventeen. Never mind the fact that I’d lose my job. It’s a felony.”

His words kicked her in the stomach. She clutched her abdomen and lowered her head as the wind was expelled from her lungs in one breathy gust. Her eyes started to sting, a warning tears were on the way. The inner battle began with her mind screaming at her eyes not to cry, not until she was out of his sight. She refused to let him see her cry again.

Her head whipped to him and her eyes squinted, locking on him viciously.

“
Sex? Right. Because
that’s
was this is about,” she picked up her bag and started for the door, tears fast on their way. But she turned back to him, to his stunned face. His handsome, magnificent face.

“
You’re an idiot,” she choked before hurrying to the hall and letting the tears flow.

Chapter Forty-Six

Her gray eyes drifted in and out watching the tide rolling toward her then away from her as she squished her red lacquered toes deeper into the white sand and let out a sigh. It was morning, the day before Christmas, and she was sitting on the beach while her family and James and his family slept in the multiple villas they'd rented for two weeks of winter vacation. Nina didn’t know what time it was but she knew she was waiting to watch the sun rise. It was early.

The trip had been uneventful thus far, mostly consisting of James and Nina taking off by themselves making sure to stay far away from their parents and Greta and her boyfriend, Blake. On the first day Nina made a point to complain as much as possible about Greta being allowed to bring Blake along until James reminded her that the year before she’d brought Todd, a memory she had succeeded at forgetting.

Even with all of the books and gossip magazines she had to read and the soothing sounds of the ocean, there was one thing Nina couldn’t stop thinking about. She'd tried so hard to leave her thoughts in Wexley Falls but they’d followed her without her permission. She brought a hand up to wipe the few silent tears that were sliding down her cheek as she mindlessly watched the morning tide. With each crashing wave, she got a flash of him. A moment they'd shared or his voice in her head saying something sweet or silly.

Each time the water moved away from her, she was hit with a memory of Kevin pulling away, telling her no. She looked out onto the horizon and saw the slight changes in the sky. Deep blue was suddenly flecked with purples and pinks. It wouldn’t be long before orange and red bled in and the yolk orb of the sun would begin its ascent.

With the crashing waves and her own tormenting thoughts flooding her mind, she didn’t hear James coming up behind her where he took a seat next to her on the sand, pajama clad with pillow lines marking his face. James was silent for a moment, taking in the beauty of the sea alongside her.

Then he nudged her. “Merry Christmas Eve,” he croaked his first words of the day.

Nina smiled but didn’t look at him. Another wave crashed and the tide swept out and she burst into tears.

His arms instantly wrapped around her and squeezed her tight. He waited, letting her cry out as hard as she needed to, as she convulsed against his body. Nina continued to hear the sea mock her but the warmth of James’ hand sweeping over her back tenderly was bringing her out of it. She pulled back from him slowly as her sobs lessened. Staring into his green eyes, filled with worry, she knew she could tell him.

“
I should have told you a long time ago,” she whispered.

“
What is it?”

Nina wiped her face with the backs of her hands and drew in a deep breath in preparation. She realized she’d never said any of it out loud aside from with Kevin. “That guy from this summer. I kept seeing him, sort of. Secretly. But things are really screwed up right now and I...I,” she shook her head trying not to believe what had really happened.

“
Not that I don’t think you can be sneaky but when exactly are you seeing this guy? I think I would have noticed,” he mused timidly.

Her eyes went blank as she looked James in the face. “You did.”

James was silent. He searched her face for some hint of a joke, some clue she was just honing in on her inner actress and not being serious. But there was no sign of trickery.

“
Oh my God. Mr. Reed.”

Her chin quivered again and James pulled her back into his arms. She told him everything.

The sun was glowing just above the surf by the time the entire truth was out. James listened quietly, nodding his head and rubbing Nina’s back as she spilled her secrets. Her tears subsided but the quake in her voice was still ever present, her nerves getting the better of her as she told him the baffling story. When she finished, her eyes met James’ waiting for his response.

“
Say something,” she pleaded quietly.

James let out a sigh and stared out into the water for a moment. “I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with this alone.”

“
I wouldn’t say I’ve been
dealing
with it at all.”

He glanced back at her, noticing they were in the same position, knees pulled up, bare feet in the sand.

“
I know I’m not always serious and I know I made jokes but if I would have known…” his voice trailed off with another heavy sigh.

Nina’s lips pressed together tightly, the sun now bathing her skin in delicate orange.

“
Nina, you know I’m not the one who'll tell you who to be with. But I think maybe you should follow his lead and take a step back from this. It’s a serious situation and it has the potential to go very badly for the both of you. Maybe ending it isn’t such a bad thing,” James said, his voice wavering as he spoke.

She knew he had a point. It was something she’d been thinking about since the beginning. But there was one thing that kept her from holding onto that rationality.

“
I know,” she said, turning to him letting another slow tear fall absently. “But I love him.”

Chapter Forty-Seven

Holiday music rang throughout the Benson’s home, bells and violins along with the wholesome voices of the nineteen fifties. Kevin sat on the window seat in the living room staring dully into the Christmas tree, watching the rotation of the twinkle patterns the lights went through. He was in no mood for a party, no mood for Jennifer and her high intensity smile and holiday cheer. Kevin could only imagine the look of disdain on his face as he avoided his own gaze reflecting in the colorful Christmas bulbs.

Jeff came toward him, through the crowd of people Kevin didn’t know, with two drinks in his hands and no quicker than he offered it to Kevin, it was gone.

“
Whoa, drink much?” Jeff teased.

Kevin glared at him and before he could reply, a squeal came out of the other room.

“
Oh my God Lynn! I'm so happy for you!” Jennifer screeched. Jeff and Kevin shared a look then listened as Jennifer addressed the entire party.

“
Everyone, my good friend Lynn just got engaged! Let’s have a toast to Lynn and Tom.” Jennifer raised her glass and Lynn raised her left hand, showing off a glittering new diamond. The party guests toasted and clapped, sickening Kevin’s stomach.