There will be much description of the feeling her brothers had about their sister in the long histories that will be written later of the two of them. There will be very much written of the feeling the father Mr. Hersland had about her in the history to be written later of the ending of the being in him. There will never be very much written of the feeling that the mother had about her. Always then, as I was saying, to each one she was a whole one. There has been now a little written of how those who knew her when she was a young one, felt her. As I was saying mostly she was not really very interesting to any one. As I was saying she was then not very interesting to any one who then knew her. The servants and the governesses excepting perhaps a little Madeleine Wyman when she was trying to carry out on her the theories of education Mr. Hersland always was explaining then to her had not very individual feeling about her. She was one of the Hersland family to them. Some of her teachers at the school where Martha got her American education had a little more feeling about her. Some of them almost were nearly interested in her. She could have a kind of earnestness in her, it never came really to be there in her in her young living and to some of her teachers then it was that she had a stupid way of being resisting, of being obstinate in her, but as I was saying sometimes a little one of them almost would be interested in her particularly after a governess or her father had been there to talk about her, to explain about her, to arrange about, her. So then as I was saying Martha Hersland in her younger living was not really very interesting to any one who then knew her.
Martha Hersland as I was saying was always a whole one. Martha as I was saying was of the independent dependent kind of them. The being in Martha as I was saying was mostly always just in a state of being in confusion. There was as I was saying in Martha very much nervous being accompanying the confusion in her being whenever the being in her was in motion. Mostly always the being in her was in this kind of a confusion. As I was saying Martha was of the independent dependent kind of them. This is now again a little a description of the being in her.
Martha was as I was saying of the independent dependent kind of men and women. Martha was one of this kind of them and had it as being to have this kind of being all of it that was in her of the same degree of concentration, that is to say that there was no part of the being in her more accented, more effective in her than another part of the being in her. That is to say it was like this in her. The one that I was describing and that was a whole one only ever by the skin of her holding her together there might be one who might be like her and so then this one though still of the independent dependent kind of them would have this being with different accents different meanings in different parts of the being that was this one. Some have all kinds of combinations of kinds in them and some as I was saying have even another kind of substance mixed up with them, the dependent independent kind of being as we were saying. Now Martha Hersland as I said in the beginning of this description of the being in her was like the one that I was describing that was all independent dependent being in solution and in so fluid a condition that this being is only made an individual one by the skin separating it from flowing over everything near it to lose itself in everything and not have individual existing, Martha Hersland then as I was saying was like this one only Martha was a little more solid and there was a little more solidity to her but as I was saying there was not much more really effective movement to her. The other one the first one I was describing when substance that was all of her was set in motion mostly it just sort of bobbled up and down in her it was not active enough to give any onward attacking motion to the whole of her that was made by the skin of her holding her together and so there never came to be real attacking in her indeed as I was saying it was to most every one seeing her, this one, as if she had resisting being in her for the substance of her was a heavy slightly sticky one as I was saying and though attacking being was the way of active being in her it came to it that she was really resisting because she never got to anything more than a little bobbing motion and this one was so an obstruction; always of course there was a slight attacking action to her for that was the nature of the being in her but to every one feeling her it was resisting, stupid being, obstinacy of a dull kind in her, and that was the being in her. Now Martha Hersland as I was saying was like this one only a little more solid and so when there was a strong emotion to give motion to her there could be more real attacking being in her than there ever could be in the one I was just describing. As I was saying Martha had as being a substance solid enough so that Martha's skin so to speak was part of the substance of her, she was a whole one then more than just by being held together by a skin as was the case in the other. Martha then had a little more real attacking movement in her than the other one I was describing who in mixture of being was just like her. Martha had not really very much forward attacking motion in her. Mostly in her too it was a confused interaction and made a confused being in her that was to many knowing her stupid being in her. This was in her to many knowing her like resisting being in her but as I was saying she had not really in her resisting being as a way of winning, as a way of fighting, as a way of loving, as I was saying confused being that was resisting being in her to many knowing her was stupid being in her, was failure in her.
As I was saying Martha when she was a young one was not really very interesting to any one who knew her then. She was until she was nearly, almost, a young woman of the feeling and the living of poorer people as I was saying, more than she was then of any other living. She was in her daily living of their living and their feeling as I was saying. This is now a little description of the feeling and the living she then had in her. She was always then as I was saying of the living and the feeling of the people, and the other people that knew them, of people in very small houses living near the Hersland family then. She was of their daily living then as I was saying. This is now a little description of what she knew with them and what she did not know with them then.
As I was saying Martha Hersland was all through her younger living of the feeling and the living of, for her natural family living, poor people. She was of the daily feeling and the daily living of them more than she was of the daily feeling and the daily living of her family living and feeling. She was then as I was saying of the daily living and the daily feeling of the people near her who had in them as I said of them half city feeling and half country feeling. She was as I was saying as much as there was in her then of feeling and living of their feeling and their living. She was with them often in the evening, she was with them more or less in the day time, she was of their daily living and their daily feeling more than she was then of any other feeling or living. As I was just saying she was with them often in the evening when she was not any longer a very young one, she was with them then very much of the day-time, she was as I was saying of their daily living and their daily feeling almost all the daily living and the daily feeling there was in her then.
She was with them as I was just saying often in the evening now that she was no longer a very little one and very much of the day-time. Some of them, the younger ones whom she knew then were beginning now to go out working and she saw them when they came back from their working and she was with them then and she was with them then again in the evening. As I have said almost all there was of daily living and daily feeling then in her was of the daily living and the daily feeling of these young people and their friends and relations and this was not very important to any one then that this was the daily living and the daily feeling of Martha Hersland then. Sometimes Mr. Hersland suddenly remembered that Martha should not go out in the evening, mostly he did not pay much attention to the daily feeling and the daily living in her then. Sometimes as I was saying he would suddenly remember she should not go out in the evening alone with these young people near them and then he would forbid her going and he would tell her that she should stay in the house and be with her mother and then he would lecture her brother that he did not take better care of his sister. “You have to take care of her sometime and you might as well begin, the sooner the better. You will have to do it sooner or later, I tell you.” “I'll take mine later” said the brother but he was careful that his father did not hear and he went out that evening as he did many evenings as I will be telling later in the long history of the living of him, but on that evening Martha Hersland could not go out to be with the others. Mr. Hersland's remembering that she should not go out in the evening did not happen very often. Mostly she went out in the evening and the day-time. Sometimes her father coming home from the city and seeing Martha standing in the yard of some of the small houses talking would get very angry that she was not at home studying. He could often get very angry and be full up with impatient feeling as I was saying whenever he remembered that Martha was his daughter and was not just what he would have her. At this time they had not any governess living in the house with them. Madeleine Wyman had left them and they had no governess after this one. Mrs. Hersland then did not have much meaning in the family living. She was weakening a little inside her then as I said when I was describing the living in her, she was lost then between her big children and the father of them as I was then saying then when I was describing the being in Mrs. Hersland. So then as I was just saying Martha was in her daily living and her daily feeling more of them the people in small houses near the Hersland family then than she was of any other daily living or daily feeling then. As I was saying she was with them often in the evening, as I was saying she was not then very interesting to any of them then. As I was saying the future which would be different for her in kind than the future of them made a separation between them in the things she was knowing with them and the things they were knowing among them, in the things she was feeling with them and the things they were feeling among them, in the things she was doing with them and the things they were doing among them, in the way she was interesting to them and the way they were interesting to each other among themselves then. As I was saying all there was of daily living and daily feeling in her then was of the daily feeling and daily living they had among them. As I was saying in a way she was separated from them, though all the living and feeling she had in her then was the living and feeling she had from them, by the future living that would be different in her living from the future living any of them would naturally be having.
As I was saying she was then not really very interesting to any one. She might have been a little interesting a couple of evenings to Harry Brenner but she never really was interesting to him.
As I was saying she was then of their daily living and their daily feeling, the poorer people near them, and she was with them a good deal in the day-time and she was with them very often in the evening. As I was saying sometimes her father remembered that she should not be out with them in the evening and he would forbid her going out that evening and he would lecture her brother Alfred because he did not take care of his sister who should not go out in the evenings in the way she was doing and the father was full up then as I was saying with impatient feeling and then that would be the end of his interfering with Martha's daily living and daily feeling and Martha's going out in the evening. The mother Mrs. Hersland was then as I was saying in the history of her living lost then among her children and the father of them. Always then in her young living Martha was of them the people near them and this was of her until she was almost a young woman.
As I was saying she was of them the poorer people in her daily living and in her daily feeling, as I was saying she was not so interesting to any of them as they were to each other then and this was mostly because of the future living there was for her in her and a little perhaps from the way being was in her but mostly it was from the future living of her that was naturally to be different from that of those she was then knowing. As I was saying she was not so interesting to any of them as they were to each other then and she was not feeling and living and understanding anything really in the way they were doing then. As I was saying she almost might have been interesting to them from her almost being interesting a couple of evenings to Harry Brenner who was one of them but she did not come to be really interesting to him. Perhaps it was the future living in her that made her not come to be really interesting to Harry Brenner then although there was almost a beginning of being interested in him. That was the end of it though then, she never as I was saying was really interesting to any of them then.
So then this was the being, the living, the feeling, the understanding in Martha Hersland up to her almost being a young woman this that I have been describing. Her father as I was saying had many ideas about her education and then he had impatient feeling in him that she was not the kind of daughter he had wanted to have as a daughter to him. The mother as I was saying then had only a dim feeling then of the being, and the living, and the feeling there was then in her children. Things were a little dim in her then but to herself then she and they and the father of them were still then of the living that was the natural living for them. To herself inside her they were never at any time neither she nor her husband nor her children nor their family ever really cut off from the living that was the natural living to them. Really she was then lost among them, that was the real being in her then, really the being in herself and in her husband and her children was really then a very dim thing to her then but always there was in her the feeling as I was saying of being in herself and in her husband and her children part of the well to do living which was the natural being for her, the only being she ever had had, to her feeling, in her.
