The Matchmaker's Replacement [Kindle in Motion] (Wingmen Inc. Book 2) (19 page)

Chapter
Thirty-Four

Lex

S
o.” Gabs walked back into my room and placed her phone on the nightstand. It was weird, constantly having her in the only sacred place I had. What was weirder? Had she announced that she was going to redecorate it with hearts, flowers, and Ryan Gosling unicorn heads, I probably would have allowed it.

What. The. Hell?

“So?” I put my computer to sleep and swiveled in my chair, lacing my fingers behind my head.

Gabi’s gaze fell to my naked chest.

“Gabs, up here.”

“Shh, the towel girl’s looking for sweat.”

I burst out laughing. “Find any?”

“Not yet. Give me ten minutes, maybe fifteen.”

“If you start breathing heavy I’m cutting you off.”

She gave me a dismissive wave through the air and slowly approached. With a look of pure concentration on her face, she crawled into my lap and straddled me. Her legs went under each of the chair’s arms, which was so freaking adorable I fought to keep myself from just hugging her.

Right, hugging her.

Like a sad bastard who didn’t know how to kiss and was afraid to make the first move.

“My parents’ anniversary is this weekend, and they specifically asked if you and Ian could come hang out for Sunday dinner.”

“Hmm, that depends . . . Is your mom making her famous tamales with homemade salsa?”

“I’m pretty sure I can convince her to.”

“Sure, I can go as your . . . friend.”

She let out a heavy sigh—of what? Relief?—as her forehead touched my chin. I kissed her head, waiting for her to say something.

“This is . . .”

“I know.” I tightened my grip on her arms. “I know.”

Maybe we knew each other too well and that was the problem. We’d launched our little enemy ship into an entirely foreign land, and neither of us knew what to do.

“I don’t want you kissing him,” I admitted softly.

Gabs pulled back, her eyes narrowing. “I won’t, or at least if it can be avoided, I’ll avoid it.”

“No tongue.”

“Getting kinda bossy for a
friend
.” She emphasized the damn word.

I gripped her ass and jerked her against me. “We were never friends.”

Gabs let out a little whimper. “And now?”

“We’re so much more.” My mouth found hers in a heated kiss as she snaked her arms around my neck.

I kissed her until my lips hurt, until my ass felt like it was going to sleep, until the need to have her was so intense it was all that consumed my thoughts.

“Lex . . .” Gabi pulled back, her green eyes locked onto mine. “Four years ago—”

“Four years ago”—I looked away, breaking all eye contact—“I was an ass.”

“Yes.”

“Hell, four weeks ago even . . .”

“Yup,” she agreed.

“I . . .” Cursing, I gave her hair a little tug with my right hand, then let her dark locks slip through my fingers. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you really are?”

Gabi’s eyes filled with tears.

And I realized in that moment just how much of a dick I really had been to her, that behind all the teasing, she never truly realized how wonderful she was.

“I wanted you then.” I cupped her face. “I want you more now, only because now I know you. And every day since knowing you, I’ve fallen a little bit harder, a little bit deeper, a little bit more . . .” I didn’t say “in love.” But I wanted to.

Gabi blinked back tears. “I don’t understand. Then why didn’t you say something?”

“One word,” I confessed. “Ian.”

“Right, he’d be pissed, but . . .” Her eyes narrowed. “Has he said anything else about us?”

“Other than telling me I’d never be good enough for his best friend? Someone he considers a sister? He told me that if I touched you he’d cut my hand off, or what’s worse . . . if I pursued you, our friendship would be over.”

“WHAT?” Gabi roared. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” I croaked. “Look, I’m not proud of the way I treated you, but I keep my promises, and the idea that he would just cut me out of his life, well, I felt like I had to choose you or him.”

“But it doesn’t have to be that way!”

“Doesn’t it?” I fired back. “Do you
know
Ian?”

“He’ll get over it!”

“Gabs, you are the only family he has other than his sister, and you and he are closer than they’ve ever been. You were there when his parents died, you were there for all the birthdays they missed, and when I moved away, you were still there for him. You are everything to him, and as stupid as it sounds, he’s like a brother to me. Hurting him . . .” I sighed.

“What do we do?”

“Sex.” I nodded confidently. “It solves everything, like coconut oil.”

“Huh?”

“Coconut oil. Premed, hmm? And you don’t know the many uses of coconut oil?”

“Guys!” Ian’s voice traveled from downstairs.

Gabi panicked while I tried to lift her out of the chair only to realize her legs were stuck under its arms.

“Help!” she squeaked.

“Stop squirming!” I hissed as I shoved one leg out of a hole and nearly fell on top of her. “Bend your knee!”

“If I bend it any further it’s going to snap!” she yelled.

“Gabi! If there was ever a time to impress me with your flexibility, this is it!” I tried to ease to the right at the same time she went left.

“Ouch!” Gabi smacked me in the leg. “That hurts!”

“Oh I’m sorry, did you want our best friend to find us pretzeled up in my room?”

Gabi’s eyes widened as we heard Ian climb the stairs. “Maybe if you push my foot left, I’ll pull right—”

“Shit!” I was about to give up when her leg came free, causing her to tumble to the floor with me on top of her as the chair slammed backward against the bed.

“Whoa!” Ian stepped into my room. “Have we moved past the verbal insults? Are you guys getting physical now?”

“Yes!” Gabi shouted as she started pounding my chest with her tiny fists. “Now get off, you ass!”

“YOU LOVE IT!” I yelled back, unable to think of what else to say while my body responded so exquisitely to her wiggling. I tried to send her a silent plea to stop moving, but her hips rocked.

Damn it!

“Dude, get off her, she’s a quarter of your size. We’re lucky we don’t have a Gabi-sized pancake on the floor.”

“Hah,” I laughed in fake amusement and moved away from Gabi, trying to stay hunched on the floor so Ian couldn’t see just how much I enjoyed our little wrestle time.

“Geez.” Ian held out his hand to her. “Are you okay, Gabs?”

She took it and stood. “Sure!”

“You look . . .” Ian’s eyes narrowed. “You’re seeing the guy again, aren’t you? The one who stole your treasure!”

“She’s not a pirate,” I commented as Gabi smacked Ian in the chest.

“My treasure?”

“Your booty.” I laughed.

“Not helpful, Lex!” Gabi glared and then turned to Ian. “And why do you even care? I’m a woman. I have needs!”

“Oh, hell no!” Ian raised his voice. “You can meet your . . . needs in other ways!”

“How’s that?” I loved Angry Ian. He usually made no sense at all, and it was hilarious as hell to watch.

“There are . . .” He gulped and looked to me. “I’m not going to sit here and talk to you about sex toys.”

“Oh, so you want me to use sex toys? Is that what this conversation is about?” Gabs crossed her arms.

“NO!” Ian roared. “Just—” His helpless gaze found mine. “No guys, no toys, no sex. Aren’t you Catholic? There really aren’t enough nuns in the world, Gabs.”

“I’ll become a nun the day Lex becomes a priest.”

I stood and held out my hand to Ian. “Bless him, Father . . .”

“You’re not funny,” Ian said through clenched teeth.

“You’re such a . . . dad!” Gabi blurted.

Ian sucked in a breath. “That’s it! Go to your room!”

“But—”

“Go!”

Gabi stomped away from us and slammed the door to her room.

“Chin up, it’s like practice for the future.” I chuckled. “Want me to go talk to her?”

Ian’s shoulders slumped. “You’d do that? I mean, you were already fighting before I came in.”

“Eh, she’s exhausted most of her energy trying to get me off of her and verbally sparring with you.” I shrugged. “I’ll wear a cup just in case.”

“Thanks, I just . . .” Ian wiped his face with his hands. “I can’t lose her.”

“I know.”
Me either, Ian. Me either.
“I’ll, uh, just go over there.”

Ian watched while I knocked on the door twice. Gabi opened it wide and let me step in. I turned around and nodded at Ian while he slowly made his way down the stairs.

The minute the door slammed behind me, I looked up at Gabi. “He’s just scared.”

“I know the feeling.”

“Yeah, I think we all do,” I whispered as we reached for each other and picked up right where we left off.

Chapter
Thirty-Five

Gabi

I
braced myself for what I knew was most likely going to go down as one of my least favorite experiences ever. Lex had tried to prep me the night before, but no amount of prepping could make a girl totally comfortable with helping her ass of an ex get a girl he thought he deserved. I honestly felt sorry for the girl he liked. Then again, maybe she was just as bad as he was? Lex said the program had judged them a good match, so who was I to argue with science?

My nails dug into the palms of my hands. I didn’t just despise Mark, I loathed him. Every girl has one. The Game Changer. The one guy in your life who, when you look back on things, makes you want a total do-over. Mark was mine, because in my immaturity I’d allowed him to chip away at my confidence until I was consumed with making him happy.

My life had been Mark.

In a completely unhealthy way.

I was so worried about upsetting him I even stopped answering Ian’s phone calls, which lasted all of a day before Ian came over to my house and unleashed hell. Mark earned a black eye—and later that day told me I probably wasn’t even worth it.

Right. I wasn’t worth getting hit over.

Desperate to keep him, I offered the one thing I’d always held close to me: my virginity, my innocence.

I could still remember his cruel smile.

And the fact that later that night—the night I had promised to go back to his parents’ house while they were out—I mistakenly picked up his phone, thinking it was mine, and saw a naked pic of one of the cheerleaders on the squad.

The text that accompanied it read: “Last night was great. Repeat?”

Ugh.

So the fact that I was sitting with Mark—a guy who still, somehow, had a way of twisting me up inside just by me looking at him—yeah, let’s just say Lex owed me big. Then again, who needed Mark when I had Lex? That thought alone gave me enough confidence to straighten my shoulders a bit and march into the restaurant.

Mark was sitting in the back corner of the dimly lit coffee shop, hunched over a book, his eyes squinting as if he was trying to figure out a complicated puzzle. Years ago that look used to do me in. I’d thought it was adorable, the way he scrunched up his nose while he was concentrating.

Then he’d gone and called me Sara. Another girl’s name. The girl he was cheating on me with, and well, everything about him had just made me feel like strangling someone—him, mainly. I guess it was a stroke of luck that I’d found that picture and text a few minutes before to prove that he was cheating. At least I wasn’t stupid enough to believe it was a Freudian slip.

I ordered a scone, then made my way over to his table. “This seat taken?”

“Yes.” He didn’t look up. “I was actually expecting someone.”

“Hmm.” I sat down anyway. Last night, after Lex had grudgingly left my room, I’d pored over Mark’s folder. A lot of the stuff I knew, except what he’d been doing for the past four years. The gaps weren’t hard to fill, and after two hours I knew exactly how I would help him get the girl.

Then again, the guys’ handy playbook was really helpful in regards to the steps someone like him needed to go through in order to gain a girl’s trust and affection.

“Hey, I said—” Mark’s eyes met mine. “Gabi?”

“Mark.” Was it wrong that saying his name out loud made me wince a little? What had I ever seen in him? His sandy blond hair was way too long, his blue eyes a little too light. Even his face was too round.

He was Lex’s opposite.

Huh, imagine that.

“Gabi.” The gap between his two front teeth appeared more pronounced. “I can’t believe you’re here. I mean, we should catch up sometime.” He swallowed and nervously glanced around the coffee shop. “But really, I am meeting someone and—”

I slid the Wingmen card across the glass table, then took a large bite of my scone. “You were saying?”

“You?” he blurted. “You work with Wingmen? I highly doubt you’re the brains.” Sigh. And we were off to such a promising start.

“The brawn, actually,” I corrected, half tempted to flex. “And my best friend owns the company. Now, why don’t we talk about the object of your affection?”

Mark’s ears burned bright red as he quickly averted his eyes and drummed his fingers against the table. “I, uh, wow.” He coughed into his hand. “This is awkward.”

You’re telling me.
But I offered a professional smile. “Only awkward if you make it awkward, and I’m here to help.”

I didn’t trust him. But that didn’t mean I could walk away either. If he’d applied to Wingmen Inc., and if the stats matched him, then I needed to follow through.

Besides, I needed the paycheck.

Especially after my dad’s text that morning. I shook it off and tried a different approach. “Charlie’s pretty.”

Mark snorted. “She’s gorgeous.”

“Smart too.”

He started playing with the straw in front of him, twisting the crap out of it before finally dropping it onto the table. “Look, Gabi, how exactly are you supposed to help me, when—” He pointed at me. I looked down. Did I have something on my shirt?

“When . . . ?” I prompted.

“Well, I’m not trying to be rude, but how’s a seven supposed to get me a ten?”

I almost gasped out loud. The rat bastard! Was he insulting me? To my face? I gripped the bottom of my chair to keep myself from grabbing his straw and stabbing his throat with it a few hundred times.

Four years ago that comment would have wrecked me.

Maybe even a few weeks ago.

But . . . funny thing. Even though being with Lex was leaving me torn up inside—mainly because of the lying—I knew from the way Lex looked at me I wasn’t a freaking seven.

I was an eleven.

Hah! Seven-eleven.

“Why are you laughing?” Mark asked. “I wasn’t kidding.”

I pitied the woman who ended up with him. Then again, he’d always been very literal, dry, smart—almost too smart—and, if I was completely honest, one of the most narcissistic individuals I’d ever met.

“Look.” I eyed the door just as Charlie made her way in, her eyes zeroing in on our table and then flickering away. Ten? If she was a ten, I’d hate to see what constituted a one.

Love is blind, folks. Love is blind.

And suddenly, I wasn’t insulted, not one bit.

Charlie was adorable, beautiful even. Something clicked into place, because it didn’t matter if I thought she was a one, zero, six, five . . . Who cared? What mattered was that to Mark she was a ten, the best of the best, and he wanted her.

“You like her, right?” I asked as I stood to my feet.

“‘Like’ is such a weak word for what I feel in here.” He slapped his chest, his eyes widening as if trying to show me how big his love was. “I would die for her. She’s just . . . She doesn’t even know.”

“Oh, I bet she knows.” I held out my hand. “Now, do exactly as I say.”

The playbook specifically said that jealousy mixed with confusion was the easiest way to get the opposite sex to notice you, because it forces them to look at you through a different lens. If I found him amazing, even if the thought had never occurred to her to do so, she’d do a double take, confused about what she was seeing. And she’d peel back layers of his personality, curious as to what else she’d been missing out on.

Layers!

Ah-hah! Lex had said something about layers, and Ian had immediately referred to
Shrek
, but I had tuned them out shortly after that.

“I’m going to lean in, alright? Don’t stiffen up.”

I did just that, leaning over his shoulder while my eyes locked on Charlie. She didn’t look away, but her face fell just enough for me to know that my actions were working.

“Hmm . . .” I wrapped my arms around him, hating that I was basically acting like my ex-boyfriend’s wingman. He returned the hug, then stood to embrace me.

Charlie slowly made her way over to us. “Hey, Mark.”

“Oh hey, Charlie.” Mark turned bright red. “I didn’t see you.”

Her lips pressed together in a firm line. “Who’s your friend?”

“I’m an ex.” I held out my hand. My response was perfect; she’d wonder about our history. “We dated for two years.”

Mark swallowed hard as he glanced between the two of us.

“I’m surprised he never mentioned me.” I laughed. “You know, since there was talk of marriage.”

“M-marriage?” she repeated, crossing her arms over her chest. “Wow, you guys must have been serious.”

Channeling
Legally Blonde
more than the Wingmen Inc. playbook, I shrugged and let out a long sigh. “Yeah, best two years of my life. I mean . . . maybe this is inappropriate, but I compare every guy’s kisses to Mark’s, every man’s touch.” Another sigh. “Well . . .” I tried to appear dejected. “Are you, um . . . his girlfriend?”

“No.” Mark’s lips turned up into a smile. “She’s not.”

“But”—Charlie’s forced smile wavered a little—“we’re really close.”

“Hmm, what did you say your name was, again?”

“Charlie,” she mumbled.

“Sorry, Charlie.” I smirked. “So, Mark, we should catch up, tomorrow night maybe? There’s this sushi place near campus that’s amazing!” Mark hated sushi, so in a way that was my payback. “Maybe we can ride bikes after?” Mark also hated exercise and anything that messed up his emo hair. “Since you’re allergic to chocolate, we can’t do that kind of dessert, but I have something else in mind.” I bit my lip.

Charlie looked ready to punch me in the face, while Mark rocked back on his heels in silence as if contemplating my idea.

“Here.” I shoved the Wingmen card into his hand. “If you wanna take me up on my offer, just send me a text or e-mail. Cool?”

“Yes,” he blurted. “I mean, I want to. I just have to make sure I’m not doing anything tomorrow night.”

“Great.” I really had to force myself to look happy at the prospect of sacrificing one of my free nights so that Mark could get the girl of his dreams, the girl he’d already told me was way prettier than I was.
Thanks for that, Mark.
“I’ll see you guys later.”

I excused myself before he could have any second thoughts and smiled brightly down at my phone when it buzzed two minutes later with Mark’s number and the enthusiastic text:

You’re hired.

“Looking at porn? Dirty girl.” Lex fell into step beside me.

I recoiled sideways and stopped short when I found myself heading, nose-first, for a fat tree. “Lex!” I gasped, as my heart struggled to pound free of my chest. “You can’t just . . . lurk!”

“Gabs, I’m over six-three. I can’t help but lurk.”

I was still having a hard time catching my breath when he reached for my hand. “So, how did the meeting with Dickface go?”

“Lex, tell me you weren’t spying through the window.”

“Fine.” He was so beautiful. I loved the way his smile spread to his eyes, and I hated that we had wasted so much time fighting that I was only now noticing the way his face lit up. “I wasn’t spying through the window.”

I breathed out a sigh of relief.

“I was spying through the back kitchen.”

“Lex!” I released his hand. “Come on! I’m a big girl. Gotta cut those apron strings.”

He stopped walking and braced me by the shoulders. “If I cut the apron strings, can I substitute them with rope? I could do a lot with rope.”

“You aren’t tying me up either.”

His face fell.

“Be serious.” I slugged him in the chest. “And I’m happy to announce that I didn’t kill my second male client, though he did call me a seven.”

Lex crossed his arms. “A seven? So you were reciting numbers in order to turn him on? Weird kid, but okay, whatever works.”

“No.” I looped my hand through his arm as we kept walking. “He said, and I quote, ‘How is a seven supposed to help me get a ten?’”

Lex jerked to a stop and I stumbled forward, nearly tumbling head over heels onto the itchy grass.

“Come again?” he whispered hoarsely.

“Lex,” I groaned. “It’s fine. He’s always been an ass like that. I was offended for maybe a minute.”

“I’m offended for you,” Lex snarled, throwing his hands into the air as if he was ready to charge one of the nearby trees and break it down with sheer body weight and will. “What the hell kind of person says that? Does he even realize how gorgeous you are? What a little prick!” The more he talked, the angrier he appeared, and then he turned on his heel and started marching back toward the coffee shop.

“Lex!” I yelled. “Client! He’s a client!”

“Son of a bitch is gonna need someone to chew his food for him in five minutes.” Lex’s fists clenched at his sides as he took purposeful strides back toward the building.

“No!” I jumped onto his back. “Lex, be reasonable!”

“This is me being reasonable,” he said in a deathly calm voice. “I’ll ask him if it’s true, he’ll say yes. I’ll give him maybe sixty seconds to defend himself, and then I’m going to kick his ass clear into next year and wave as his head detaches from his body.”

I was still banging on his muscular back when the door to the coffee shop opened and Ian stepped out.

With a sigh, he looked at me, then Lex. “We’re in public, guys, show a little decorum.”

“He, uh”—I slid slowly down Lex’s back—“was being mean.”

I rolled my eyes and covered my face. Really? That’s all I had? He was being mean and pushed me off the swing? Good, Gabs, real good.

“Dipshit in there”—Lex jabbed his finger at the door to the coffeehouse—“called her a freaking seven.”

Ian’s eyebrows drew together as though he was trying to process what Lex had said. “And you’re pissed because the only one who can insult Gabi is you?”

“He’s a total asshole!” Lex yelled as the door opened and a customer scurried by.

Ian burst out laughing. “Yeah, okay. Look in the window, Lex. What do you see?”

“Huh?”

“It’s your reflection . . . and yet another asshole. Sorry to break it to you, but you’re kind of a dick.”

“But—”

“Gabs.” Ian held up his hand for a high-five. “I was in the area when we got an e-mail from Mark—seems he’s super impressed with how things went down, so good job. Now . . .” He slipped on his sunglasses. “You guys want pizza?”

“Sure!” I forced a giant smile because I didn’t know what else to do, but Lex didn’t move. It was like someone had put glue on the bottom of his shoes and told him to stay while it set. “Lex?”

“Ian”—Lex’s nostrils flared—“we’ll meet you there. I need to talk to Gabs real quick.”

Ian looked between us. “You do realize she was just beating you, right? With her bare hands?”

“I can handle Short Stack.” Lex clenched his fists.

“Alright,” Ian said, grabbing his keys. “I’ll grab pizza and meet you guys at the house, cool?”

“Yup,” we said in unison.

As soon as Ian drove off, Lex reached for my hand and jerked me toward his car. Once we were inside, he didn’t say anything, but I could tell he was still pissed by the way his jaw kept clicking. Any minute, I truly expected him to start spitting out teeth.

We drove for two miles in silence.

He stopped down the road from the house at one of the neighborhood parks.

And turned off the car.