The Mighty Storm (54 page)

Tears are streaming down my face now.

“
Afterwards at the hospital they told me I had hit my head hard from the fall. I had a concussion, had broken my arm and my jaw, and had cut my chin open, and I
’
d had to have stitches.” His hand goes to his chin, touching his scar.

He looks so young in this moment, and I wish I knew how to fix things for him. To somehow take his pain away forever.

Jake puts his palms to his eyes for a moment. I know he
’
s pushing back whatever emotion is in there.

I wipe my face dry with my hands.

That
’
s the first time Jake has ever spoken to me properly about what happened that night. I knew bits and pieces, but I didn
’
t know Paul had tried to rape Susie. That part was kept from me by my folks for obvious reasons.

Paul went to prison for what he did to Jake and Susie. Eight years he got. Eight measly years. I know, ridiculous huh? Throw your kid down a flight of stairs and nearly kill him, beat and almost rape your wife, and here you go, we
’
ll give you eight years in HMS
’
s finest with the chance of early parole.

“
What did Paul die of?” I ask quietly.

I hadn
’
t plucked up the courage to ask Jake what Paul died of in these last few days. He
’
s been so closed off and I didn
’
t want to push things for him.

Whatever it was he did die of, I hope he somehow suffered after what he did to Jake and Susie.

“
A heart-attack,” Jake answers quietly. “He
’
d been dead for five days before anyone found him. It was a neighbour who alerted the police when they hadn
’
t seen him for a while.”

“
Had you heard anything from him over the years?”

Sighing, he takes my hand in his and brings it to his mouth, kissing my knuckles.

“
After he went to jail, he was clean for a while, and he was writing me asking me to forgive him, but I never replied. Then we moved to the States with Dale, and I didn
’
t hear anything until I was twenty-two and the band was flying high. He got in touch with me through Stuart. I don
’
t how he got hold of his number but he did. It took me a week before I called him back. I had all these things ready that I was going to say to him. I was going to tear him a shred
–
and you know what?” he snorts. “The second I heard his voice, I felt like that nine year old kid again. I felt so fuckin
’
weak in that moment, and I
fuckin’ blew
it.”

I rest up on my elbow. Looking down into his eyes, I brush his hair off his forehead. “It doesn
’
t make you weak, baby, it makes you human.”

He shakes his head. “I was weak, Tru. I didn
’
t say a goddamn thing to him about what he
’
d done to me and mom. And the worst thing was, he hadn
’
t got in touch because he wanted to apologise for what he
’
d done, or to even see me
–
he called because he needed money.”

In this moment, I hate Paul. I can feel the anger bubbling under my skin.

“
Did you give him it?” I ask, chewing on the inside of my mouth.

I already know the answer, because I know Jake.

He sighs.
“
My lawyer sent him a non-disclosure saying that he could never talk about me or my past and what had happened. That he could never make claim to be my dad in the press, or to anyone ever. If he signed he could have the money.”

“
Did he sign?”

He looks at me.
“
There was a
two hundred thousand dollar check
sitting at the bottom of it, so yeah, he signed.”

“
You gave him two hundred thousand dollars?” I gasp.

“
It
’
s nothing to me, Tru. And if it meant keeping him and that part of my life away from me, then it was more than worth it. I knew the money wouldn
’
t last him long though. He always could burn through money quick. He liked drugs … just like I do. I guess it
’
s true what they say
–
the apple doesn
’
t fall far from the tree.” He rolls his eyes in on himself.

I grab his face, turning him to look me. “You are nothing like him, Jake
–
nothing
. And you never could be.”

He doesn
’
t look so sure.

“
I am, Tru. I know you won
’
t want to see it
–
I know you want to see the good in me, and I love you for that, more than you could ever know … but I am like him
–
a lot like him. I would never hurt you – I could never hurt you.” He touches my face. “But the drugs and the booze … and the women,” he sighs. “I
’
m exactly like him. My mom knows it too.”

“
She said that?” I gasp.

He shakes his head, no. “She doesn
’
t have to. I can see it in her eyes every time she looks at me
–
the disappointment, just how much I remind her of him.”

“
No, I don
’
t believe that. Susie loves you. Yes, you
’
ve struggled in your past, understandably so because of what he did to you. But you
’
re not that person anymore, you took control and you
’
re stronger now.”

His gaze softens on me. He brushes his knuckles across my cheekbone. “Because I have you back in my life.”

I take hold of his hand, kissing it.

“
Did you ever hear from him again?” I ask, lying back down beside him, keeping hold of his hand.

“
Just before Jonny died. He
’
d gone through the money, like I knew he would. So I sent him four hundred grand. Thought it might keep him away for double the length of time. Then the next time I hear anything it
’
s from the authorities. I was listed as his next of kin. He had no one else. So it was
left
to me to bury him.”

“
Well, he
’
s gone now, so we can leave all of that in the past where it belongs, and move forward
–
start our life together properly.”

“
In LA.”

“
In LA,” I smile. “Do you want a beer?” I ask, sitting up, letting go of his hand.

“
Thought you
’
d never ask,” he jibes, and I feel a little of my Jake returning to me.

I grab a couple of beers out of the cooler, pop the caps off and hand him his, as he sits up facing me.

“
To Lumb Falls, hot summers, and missing bikini tops,” I grin lifting my bottle and chink it against his.

“
And more missing bikini tops to come,” he grins back at me, naughty Jake in his eyes, before taking a swig of his beer.

Resting his bottle against his thigh, he looks back over his shoulder, out at the darkened water of the falls for a long moment.

I wonder what
’
s on his mind?

I
’
m just about to ask when he speaks.
“
I almost died last year because of the drugs.
”
His face is still turned away from me.

My heart freezes solid in my chest. I guess tonight is the night for confessions from him.

“
I drowned, and Stuart saved me,
”
he adds.

“
What? When? How?” I
’
m up on my knees now, putting my bottle down.

Jake turns and looks at me. His gaze is dark and torn. It
’
s painful to see.

“
It was after Japan. I know everyone thinks I went into rehab because of what happened there, but it wasn
’
t. When I got back to LA, I was worse than ever … I was using
–
a lot. A few nights after I was back, I was out partying and was, absolutely
high
off my ass
. Dave took me home. He had to carry me out of the club and to the car I was in that much of a state. He wanted to stay with me, but I told him I wanted to be alone
–
well basically I told him to fuck off. I shouted him out of the house. I treated him like a
piece of shit
that night, and he didn
’
t deserve it. I
’
m lucky he stayed working for me.”

I
’
m glad he did to, because I think Jake would struggle without him, but I don
’
t say that.

“
Stuart was out, I was alone. I passed out for a while on the sofa. When I woke the drugs had worn off, so I took another hit of coke, and sat out by the pool drinking tequila. Then in my blind wisdom, I decided to get in the pool,” he sighs. “The next thing I know, I
’
m puking up water, and Stuart is over me, holding me up.”

“
He saved my life that day, Tru. I owe him everything. He called
911
, kept it out of the papers.” He takes a drink of his beer. “Stuart went absolutely fuckin
’
nuts
on me at the hospital afterwards though. I
’
d never seen him like that before.”

“
It
’
s understandable, baby,” I say softly, desperately trying to hold myself together. “If he hadn
’
t of got there in time … then…” I can
’
t even say the words. I can
’
t even bear to think how close he came, it
’
s scaring the hell out of me.

I gulp back my threatening tears. “And that
’
s when you went to rehab?” I ask.

He nods. “Stuart threatened to quit unless I sorted myself out. Said he’d watched me destroying myself for far too long … that losing Jonny had been hard on all of us, and he wasn
’
t going to stay around to watch me die too.”

“
What did you say?”

“
He
’
s the best in the business, that
’
s why he works for me and I couldn
’
t afford to lose him,” he shrugs. “So I agreed to go to rehab.”

He
’
s downplaying it. He loves Stuart like a brother, and he knew he was right about rehab.

“
No one knows what happened that night, Tru. Not my mom or Tom, not even Denny. There
’
s only you, Stuart, and the doctors at the hospital who know.”

In this moment I despise Paul. More than I ever knew it possible to hate a dead person.

Jake struggles like he does, because of him.

“
You can always trust me with anything, baby.” I touch his face. “I
’
ll never judge you and I
’
ll never break your trust, I promise you that. Just please … don
’
t ever go back there again. Promise me that you
’
ll never take drugs again.”

He kisses the friendship bracelet on my wrist. “I promise you … so that missing bikini top,” he says, gently pushing me down to the blanket, lying on top of me, he holds my hands above my head.

It
’
s an obvious attempt at a subject change, and I allow it. Jake sometimes needs sex as a way to rid his mind of his demons. And if that
’
s what he needs right now, then I
’
m more than happy to oblige.

“
Mmm?” I reply, smiling.

“
Well, if I remember
right
, I
’
m owed a re-enactment and a few other things too.”

“
Well, it just so happens, Pervy Perverson, I have a bikini with me.”

“
And that
’
s why I love you Mrs. P,
‘
cause you
’
re just as pervy as I am,” he grins. “Now get your hot ass into that bikini, so I can slowly take it back off you.”

He climbs up off me, taking my hands, he pulls me to my feet.

Moving away from him, with butterflies doing diving swoops in my tummy, I go to get my bikini out of my bag.

As I turn back around, I find a very naked Jake, standing here before me.

“
Wow, that was quick,” I giggle, eyes roaming his hot body.

“
Well, when we
’
re talking sex and you, baby, my clothes just disintegrate,” he shrugs, grinning.