The Nanny's Little Matchmakers (Love Inspired Historical) (21 page)

Laura’s words hit her square in the chest.

“What evidence did James give you of being a monster?”

Laura let out a long sigh. “None that I could see. But my family saw. My father told me not to marry him, and when I did, he did everything he could to protect my fortune from him. I don’t know why I didn’t see it when everyone else did. Has anyone warned you that Mitch may not be who he seems?”

Polly’s heart sank as she realized that not only had no one warned her against Mitch, but they all seemed to be pushing her in his direction. Were they right after all?

“No,” she said quietly.

“I barely know you,” Laura said. “And I barely know Mitch. But I can’t fathom how a man who would raise the children of his wife’s indiscretions and give them the kind of love I’ve seen in this family would somehow turn into a cold-blooded murderer.”

She let out a long sigh. “I knew the first minute you all started talking about James and the murder that he did it. Had I been willing to open my eyes, I probably would have seen it the moment her body was discovered. I’ll own that I have been a poor judge of character. You may have, too. But I am putting my very life on the line on the belief that Mitch is a good man.”

Polly hadn’t thought about it that way. Trusting Mitch in this situation, at least for Laura, was a matter of life and death. If she was wrong in trusting Mitch, and Mitch was the murderer, or even if he was a bad man, Laura could wind up in more trouble than she’d bargained for. She was trying to escape an abuser, not run headlong into more trouble.

“His children clearly love you,” Laura said, gesturing to the little girl asleep in Polly’s arms. “And I have no doubt that if you would get past your fear, he would love you, too. You deserve happiness, Polly. A woman with as big of a heart, helping people like me, you shouldn’t spend your life alone simply because you’re afraid of being hurt.”

Isabella stirred in Polly’s arms. “I should probably put her down.”

“Think about what I said.” Laura gave her another gentle smile. “Just because James hurt me, it doesn’t mean I don’t still believe in love. I’ve spent barely an afternoon in this house, and everywhere I look, I see deep, lasting love. You may be so used to it that you don’t see it, but I hope you open your eyes before it’s too late.”

Remembering Clara’s words about all the kissing that happened in their midst brought a smile to Polly’s face. There was an awful lot of kissing around her, and it wasn’t the way most places were. But most places weren’t firmly centered in God’s love. Most marriages weren’t supported by such an incredible group of people who vowed to love each other as family.

“Thank you,” Polly said as she exited the room.

Laura was right—Polly had been blind. She’d let the ugliness and fear from her past cover her eyes and keep her from seeing the incredible examples of love right before her. Even the love of Uncle Frank and Catherine, when she was alive, had encouraged others in pursuing a deeper connection.

Polly was so deep in thought that she nearly ran into Mitch on the landing. He held out his arms to keep her from colliding with him.

“Whoa! Everything all right?”

“Sorry.” Polly looked up and her eyes locked with his. A deep blue sky of compassion met hers. She used to feel the same peace lying on her back watching the clouds.

Even when he was the angriest, when he had the right to be the angriest, Mitch had never raised a hand to her. He’d never raised a hand to his children, though they’d all confessed to being beaten at times by nannies. Mitch had been horrified to learn that.

“What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?” she asked, searching his eyes.

“What?”

“Tell me.” She stared at him. “It’s important.”

“I’ve never committed a crime,” he said slowly. “If that’s what you’re asking. What’s going on here?”

“I need to know. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?”

He finally seemed to understand what she wanted, because she wasn’t even sure herself. But for some reason, that question burned inside her.

“When I was a boy, I was supposed to be watching my brother. But I wanted to play with my friends, so I made him sit by a tree. He wandered off, and it took hours for us to find him. I’ve always felt guilty for not being a better brother.”

Mitch let out a long breath. “I promised to make it up to him, and I’ve done a poor job. I still haven’t figured out how to be a good brother to him, but now that I’ve realized my mistake, I’m doing my best to do it differently moving forward. Which is all we can do.”

No, you couldn’t change the past, or even how things happened. But you could, as Mitch said, do your best to do better.

“Thank you,” Polly said. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him how she felt about him, but something about it felt wrong.

“What about you? What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?”

“I’m prideful and stubborn. I guess we all know that, but I’m realizing just how much I allow it to blind me. Now I need to figure out how to keep it from making me make the worst decision of my life.”

Mitch smiled at her. Gently. Kindly. And, if she were to be so bold, lovingly. “Take it from a man who has made more than his share of worst decisions. Even your worst decision can become your best decision, if you give it time. You don’t have to live your life perfectly as long as you’re willing to learn from it.”

Then he chuckled softly. “I suppose that’s where working on our pride has to happen.”

Isabella lifted her head from Polly’s shoulder. “Papa?” She turned and reached for him just as the thunder of footsteps sounded up the stairs.

“Papa’s back!”

The children entered the room, chorusing their questions of where he’d been.

Over the din, Polly said, “Yes, where did you go? You disappeared earlier.”

Mitch gave a small shrug. “I went over to the sheriff’s office to give my version of the events. They’ll want to talk to you to confirm what was said at the Steeles’, but it sounds like they’ve already got folks from Denver coming up.”

“Is that good?”

Clara, Rory and Thomas wrapped their arms around Mitch as he said, “I think so. Will sounded hopeful.”

Polly watched as Mitch greeted his children, hugging each one of them, even pulling Louisa, who’d been standing off to the side, into an embrace.

She’d have said that she lost another piece of her heart to this man and his family, but as she continued down the stairs, she realized she’d given it to them a long time ago.

Now to figure out what to do about it.

Chapter Eighteen

M
itch walked home from the Leadville sheriff’s office, a load off his back. The Denver sheriff had come up overnight and had insisted on meeting with Mitch first thing. Mitch’s story, as well as what Will found out about James Booth, had put together missing pieces in the investigation. Though Booth was still loudly protesting his innocence, this time they were convinced they had the right man. All charges against Mitch would be dropped.

Passing his brother’s store, he noticed the reporters had all left. Now that Booth had been arrested, they’d abandoned their interest in Mitch’s family. Mitch entered the store. Andrew greeted him with a warm smile.

“I see we have good news.”

“Yes.” Mitch looked around to be sure the store wasn’t busy. Fortunately, no customers appeared to be about. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“I understand.” Andrew shifted uncomfortably.

“No, you don’t.” Mitch came closer to his brother. “I didn’t do a very good job of telling you much of anything, and that wasn’t fair. A very wise person told me something about pride yesterday, and how she let her pride stand in the way of her happiness. Or something like that.”

Mitch looked at Andrew, realizing how little he knew his brother. He’d let too much distance come between them. “You see, I was hurt by what you said when I married Hattie. You told me not to marry her, and I didn’t listen. When things went wrong, I had too much pride to confide in you. But being around Polly’s family has made me realize just how much I miss our closeness.”

His throat felt tight as he said, “I’m sorry.”

Tears filled Andrew’s eyes. “No, I’m sorry. I could tell you were having a bad time of things, and I should have offered my support sooner. I wish I could have done more than just offer my house and store as collateral for your bond.” Then he grinned. “But I’m mighty glad to be getting it back.”

Andrew came around the corner. “But all that’s water under the bridge now. I understand Polly has your terrors in hand, so maybe we could do more together as a family.”

“I’d like that,” Mitch said, giving his brother a hug.

The door jangled, and a group of customers walked in.

“I should get back to the children.”

Andrew nodded. “We’ll talk soon.”

Mitch left and arrived home to a quiet house. Funny how this place had already become home. Now that the reporters weren’t dogging their every move, he supposed they could go home to Denver. But he didn’t want to.

Taking advantage of the quiet, he went up to his room to grab his Bible. A note lay on the bed.

Mitch,

I was wrong in not giving you a chance. Me and my pride. The truth is, I’m in love with you, but I’m scared. What if you don’t love me back? I don’t want things to be awkward between us, so if you share my feelings, meet me at the livery so we can go on a picnic. If not, I’ll understand, and I promise never to mention it again.

Love, Polly

Mitch closed his eyes. He’d told them no more. How was he supposed to get the children to understand that being with Polly was impossible?

He went downstairs to find the children at the kitchen table, hard at work on their studies.

“Children!” He knew his voice sounded harsh, but he couldn’t help himself. They didn’t understand. Couldn’t understand.

“Yes, Papa?” Louisa’s voice was all sweetness, her eyes all innocence.

“Which one of you left the note on my bed?”

“What note?”

Four sets of eyes looked at him in what would have been perfect innocence had he not known better.

“Fine.” He looked over at Gertie, who appeared to be supervising their studies. “Where’s Polly?”

“She had some errands to run. I offered to help the children this afternoon. I’m sure they didn’t mean anything by their prank. You know how they are.”

“Yes, I do.” He glared at them. “You will each write one hundred sentences. They will read, ‘I will never meddle with my father’s love life again.’ Do you understand?”

“But that’s not fair!” Louisa jumped up. “We didn’t do anything.”

He turned his attention to Clara. “Did you or did you not tell me just this morning that I should kiss Polly?”

Tear-filled eyes looked up at him. She nodded.

“From now on, if I hear any of you mention anything romantic with Polly, marrying Polly, prayer requests at church about getting a new mother, you will all write one hundred sentences. And you will keep writing until you learn to stay out of my affairs.”

Then he looked at Gertie. “None of them are to leave the table until they all finish their sentences.”

“Mitch...” Gertie looked disappointed. “Don’t you think...”

“What I think is that these children have too much time on their hands if they have the time to keep arranging love notes.” He held up the note, then stomped over to the stove and tossed it into the fire.

“There will be no more of this nonsense. Polly is not your mother, and she never will be. Taking care of you is her job, just like my working in the store is mine. She does not want to get married, she does not want a family and you need to leave her alone.”

Then, without waiting for a response, Mitch stormed out of the kitchen, slamming the back door behind him.

“They are just children,” he could hear Polly’s voice saying in the back of his head. He’d been unfair to them, and he knew it. Gertie knew it, and she probably thought terrible things about him for it.

But what else was he supposed to do? If one more person tried pushing him toward Polly, he was going to lose his mind. Yes, he cared for her. And yes, in answer to Clara’s very nosy question this morning, he did want to kiss her. More than he’d ever wanted to kiss anyone else.

Polly, however, did not want those things. And even if he could convince her to try, what kind of man made a woman give up her dreams? Oh, he knew Polly wasn’t Hattie, but how could he do that again? Polly wouldn’t have affairs or leave them, but how long would it take for her to resent her decision to stay?

Love was letting someone go and giving up your right to have that person by your side so that they could be happy.

Did he love Polly?

Most desperately.

Which was why she could never know. Never settle for the life she didn’t want.

* * *

Polly waited at the livery until long past the time she’d told her mother she’d be back. Mitch wasn’t coming.

At first, she’d tried telling herself that he’d been held up at the sheriff’s office. But she’d seen Will, and he’d stopped to say hello. He told her that everything wrapped up nicely, and James Booth was already on his way to Denver, where he’d be officially charged with Hattie’s murder.

Though they’d had the clue of the cuff links, apparently the sheriff’s office had other evidence not linked to Mitch that they’d been hiding—evidence that proved James had done it—including James’s prized statuette, which had been used to kill Hattie. Some of it had been pushed aside because it didn’t fit with the theory of Mitch being the murderer. But others, like the cuff links, had been deliberately hidden by a deputy on Booth’s payroll. The deputy would be facing charges of his own.

Great news for Mitch. Great news for Laura. But it didn’t seem to matter when Mitch wasn’t here to celebrate.

Polly turned to walk back to the parsonage, wishing she didn’t have to face him. She’d said that she’d never speak of her feelings for him again, but it was still humiliating to have to see him. As much as she loved the children, how was she going to be in his presence knowing that she loved him and that he didn’t love her back?

She’d been a fool to think that just because she’d experienced a change of heart, Mitch had as well. After all, hadn’t he made it clear that he had no intention of remarrying? That his heart was no longer available to romance? He’d assured everyone, including Polly, that his feelings for her were nothing more than platonic.

He’d given no indication of his feelings being any different. Polly sighed. Deep in her heart, she must have already known that, which was why she’d left him a note, rather than having to see his face when he rejected her.

Somehow she’d thought it would be easier to not see the look in his eyes when he rejected her.

And now she wondered how she’d even be able to look at him at all.

Her stomach knotted, and she wanted to be sick. Why had she been so foolish as to go against her better judgment and fall in love with Mitch? Why had she expressed those feelings, knowing he didn’t feel the same?

Once again, Polly had allowed her heart to blind her to common sense. Would she ever learn?

She looked up to see a familiar face.

“Polly!” Eleanor Steele greeted her warmly.

Despite the churning in her stomach, Polly gave her friend the best smile she could manage. It seemed almost cruel to run into someone glowing with the happiness of a woman in love—and loved in return. While she was genuinely pleased for Eleanor, Polly wasn’t sure she could hold her broken heart together if she had to listen to the other girl talk about the joy Polly would never have.

Eleanor gestured to the woman next to her. “I’m so glad you’re here. You can be the first to meet my dear friend, Rebecca Ashworth, who is here to help with the wedding. Rebecca just finished teacher training school in Denver, and after the wedding, she’ll be looking for a job. She wanted to go to work right away, but I convinced her that she should stay with me for a while first. When else will she be able to enjoy her life? Once she starts teaching...”

Rebecca groaned. “It’s not going to be that bad. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Polly. Eleanor has told me so much about you.”

“The pleasure is all mine.” Polly smiled at the other woman. As much as she’d dreaded having to hear more about the happiness she’d never experience in her life, running into Eleanor just might be the answer to Polly’s problems.

“I’d love to hear more about that teaching school. I’ve been hoping to attend myself.”

“We were just on our way to tea at the Rafferty. Join us,” Rebecca said with a smile.

Polly smiled back, but she didn’t feel much like it. This is what she’d said she wanted all along, but as she followed her friends into the hotel, she felt more like her entire world had just ended.