The Naughty List (17 page)

“He told me you went to dinner with Chloe and—”

“I didn’t go to any goddamn dinner. And why were you with him in the first place?” Aiden demanded.

This was not the time to tell him the truth about SOS. Not when he was looking so unkindly at me.

“I don’t know,” I answered instead. “But we came here and I saw Chloe hugging you. And I saw you bring her inside and then the light in your bedroom—”

“You thought I was sleeping with her? I’m . . .” He paused to clench his jaw. “I’m not my father. I would never do anything like that, Tessa.”

“Aiden—”

“How did you even know she called me anyway?”

“Her brother,” I said quietly.

Aiden shook his head, glaring at me. “So you’re just sitting in front of my house with another guy, looking in my window? Are you Nancy Drew?”

“No, but—”

“Do you and your little friend spy on people a lot, Tessa? Is that where you’ve been?”

“Where I’ve been?” I was confused.

He scoffed. “Yeah. You know—the late nights, not answering your phone. The weird looks back and forth with the squad. Have you been...” He paused and took a harsh breath. “Have you been cheating on me, baby?” His face was absolute pain.

“No,” I said emphatically. “Of course not. It’s just that everything has been so different lately, and I was sad. Then I heard some things about you and Chloe and I just lost it. We showed up here, and then when she went in your house, I started freaking out. I was ready to go home, but then Christian grabbed me and started kissing me, but—”

“Hold up,” Aiden said, his eyes narrowed to slits. I froze. This was bad. This was really bad.

I needed to backtrack. “I know, but—”

“He put his hands on you?” Aiden asked calmly. He shouldn’t be calm. That was odd.

“Yeah,” I said, trying to match his subdued tone. “His hands, his lips, his tongue—”

“You let him put his tongue in your mouth?” Aiden was so pale. I walked toward him, but he put his hands up and crossed the room to get away from me. My stomach turned.

“Did you kiss him back, Tessa? Did you fucking kiss him?” And Aiden’s voice cracked as he stared at me, looking devastated.

Great Scott! One hundred percent. It was true, only Aiden wasn’t the one that needed to be investigated; it was me. I had kissed Christian back, no matter how misguided it was; my tongue was in his mouth too. I wanted to wash it out.

“I did kiss him, but—”

“Tessa,” Aiden yelled, looking at me. “Why would you do that?” He put both of his hands on his head. “What the hell? Why would you let him do that? Oh my God!”

He searched the room with his eyes, then turned his back on me, resting his hands against the wall and leaning into it. He dropped his head as small whimpers escaped from him. My entire body ached, and not just from where Chloe had hit me. Aiden was crying, his shoulders shaking violently. And it was my fault.

“Aiden,” I called softly.

“What have you done?” he whispered without picking up his head. “Don’t you love me?”

Good gravy! Of course I loved him. I walked up and hugged him from behind, resting my face on his back. “I do love you, Aiden. So much. And I was devastated when SOS got the message about you and Chloe—”

“SOS?” he asked, and sniffled. He straightened up and turned in my arms before taking me by the shoulders to move me back from him. “What’s SOS?”

Dang it. This was not the time to tell him, but I couldn’t lie anymore. Not after all of this. “It’s sort of a long story.”

His jaw clenched. “As long as the one about you kissing another guy?”

Was there a way back from this? Would Aiden ever forgive me?

“What is SOS?” he asked again slowly.

I swallowed hard. “The Society of Smitten Kittens.”

He waited and then adjusted his stance, letting me know that he was getting impatient.

Time to talk. “We investigate cheaters.”

“Investigate?”

I couldn’t tell if he believed me or not. I bit on the inside of my cheek, meeting his irritated gaze. “You remember the other night, when I asked you about Mary?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, after Kyle cheated on her, she started up a sort of club. When a girl thinks her boyfriend is cheating, she’ll text us. We ... sneak around and find out for them.”

Aiden licked his bottom lip, staring at me. “If anyone else was telling me this, I’d say they were full of it. But it’s you. And I don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into, but I don’t like it. You spy on people?” He sounded disappointed.

I ducked my head. “Yeah.”

“Then what?”

“We tell the girls, Leona gives them a cheater incident report, and we let them decide what to do.”

Aiden shook his head. It was a lot to take in. I could understand that. “And ... you’ve been doing this to me?”

“No,” I said, reaching for him again. He let me put my hands around his waist, but he made no move to touch me. “It was just tonight. Someone texted me and said that you were seeing Chloe. I—”

“And it never occurred to you that it could be that asshole? Or his sister? Or just someone messing with you? You just believed it. Wow, Tessa. Wow.” Aiden looked up at his ceiling, blinking away tears. I put my head on his chest, wishing he would just wrap his arms around me like he used to.

“I didn’t want to believe it,” I whispered. “Things between us had just been so different lately. I thought—”

“Because of you,” Aiden said loudly. “You’re always busy, Tessa. Distant. I didn’t know what was going on. I was trying to give you space, but I didn’t think you’d hook up with another guy.”

I closed my eyes. I had thoroughly effed up.

“And this SOS bullshit. I can’t even begin to understand the number of ways it’s wrong. My God. Did you break into people’s houses?”

“Occasionally.”

“How long have you been doing this?”

Uh-oh. “Two years.”

His body stiffened. “Two years? You’ve ... you’ve been sneaking around for two years? Our entire relationship?” His voice was controlled, but I knew he wanted to yell. His body had begun to shake. I, on the other hand, was on the verge of getting sick. My head was seriously wounded.

“Yeah,” I mumbled. I wanted this to be over. I wanted the healing to begin. Starting with my forehead.

Aiden gasped. “Wait. Did you have something to do with Caleb and his girlfriend breaking up?”

I didn’t move. Yes, I did have something to do with it, but I mean, he was cheating on his girlfriend. He wasn’t an innocent victim or anything.

“Answer me,” Aiden said, and he took me by the upper arms and moved my body off of his. He didn’t want me touching him.

I nodded. His face was a mixture of pain and anger, and he brought his hands to his face and rubbed roughly at it.

“Who are you?” he asked. He looked at me, sad, confused. “Who the fuck are you?”

His voice was quiet, hurt. Heartbroken. But I was here now. We’d be okay.

“I love you,” I murmured. There was a new aching in my chest. A different one than I’d felt earlier. This one was worse because it was my own fault. I’d made this mess. Me.

Aiden’s eyes softened a little as he looked down at me. He reached his hand out to run his fingers down my cheek, so gently that I nearly cried. But then he brought his thumb and traced it over my lips, slowly. He swallowed hard.

“You let him touch you here,” he whispered. “And now ...” His thumb paused in the middle of my lip. “I can never kiss you again.”

Dropped. My stomach dropped as his eyes glassed over, and then he moved his hand and broke from me. He walked across his room, and I tried to breathe. I wasn’t sure I could. I heard his bedroom door creak open.

“Go home, Tessa,” he said to my back.

I couldn’t turn. Please. Let this not be real. Let me wake up. Please.

“Tessa?” And he was pleading. He wanted me to go. This was the warning before he became rude.

Blinking quickly, I turned to look at him. He stared past me, looking at the wall above my head. He wasn’t going to forgive me.

I walked to the door, pausing in front of him, looking up and waiting for him to see me. Finally, his green eyes flicked to mine. They were sad. So very, very sad.

“Goodbye, baby,” he said, letting his voice crack.

My lip quivered and I wanted to grab him. But he put his hand on my back and pushed me gently through the door. He walked me downstairs and left me on his front porch. Aiden didn’t even look at me again before he shut the door, locked it, and left me outside. Alone.

SOS DISCIPLINARY ACTION

FROM:
Leona

TO:
Kira

You have violated one or more of the SOS rules and are therefore subject to disciplinary action. You are hereby suspended for one mission for violating the rule(s) marked below:

° Confirming a cheat with insufficient evidence

° Violating the gag rule

° Reinvestigating a subject (double jeopardy)

° Making personal calls during a mission

° Intervening with a cheat in progress

° Spying on a non-subject

Other:

X
Hooking up with the subject of investigation
!

X
Wearing heels while on a mission

SOS

Text: 555-0101

Exposing Cheaters for Over Two Years

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

KIRA TOOK ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM AFTER
Aiden called her to come pick me up. It was sweet of him to make sure I got home okay, even though he wasn’t willing to do it himself. At one point while I was walking, I thought I’d heard someone following me, but when I turned, no one was there. I chalked it up to head wound delusions.

Kira had picked me up about a block away from Aiden’s house and driven directly to Good Samaritan Hospital. When we got there, the blue plaster walls were filled to the brim with patients. But the nurses quickly evaluated me. Probably because I was still in uniform.

I needed a stitch, but luckily, I didn’t have a concussion. And although I asked, there was no medication for a broken heart.

As Kira and I waited in the lobby for me to be called back, the nurse gave me a gauze pad that I held to my forehead. My life was shattered, and my brain was throbbing. Things would never be okay.

“I’m not trying to be nosy,” Kira said from the hard plastic chair next to me. “But what exactly happened when you and Christian were in his car?”

I didn’t want to tell her. I’d glossed over the details the first time for a reason. No, all I wanted right now was to listen to coughing patients and the hum of the monitors.

“I’m a horrible person, K,” I mumbled, staring at the receptionist behind the desk. She had on those chic, beehive-frame glasses with a dainty silver chain dangling from them, looped around her neck. I’d have to tell Leona about them. They were fabulous.

Kira gasped. “No, you’re not, Tess. You’re the greatest person I know.”

I scoffed. “I kissed Christian,” I said, turning to stare at her. “I was upset and I cheated on Aiden. What kind of person does that make me?”

My best friend smiled and reached out to take the gauze from my head, checking my wound. “It makes you a regular person, Tessa Crimson. You can’t be spot-on all the time. You made a mistake. Aiden will get over it.”

She refolded the bandage and applied pressure. She was too good to me, but she was wrong. Aiden would never forgive me. I saw it in his eyes tonight.

“I don’t deserve you,” I said, feeling it was true. “I don’t deserve to be a Smitten Kitten.”

Kira squeaked and touched her chest. “Are you kidding?” She stood up in front of me and tilted her head. “Last year when I was dating all those football players, who told me that I was more than a piece of tail?”

I looked at her. “I did.”

Kira glanced around the room, not seeming to care that people were watching her. “And who saved Leona from that Kitten fight at the pool with Lucy McGill after Leona called her fat?”

“Me.”

“Who told Izzie that being adopted was better than having regular parents because it meant they’d handpicked her?”

I nodded. I saw what Kira was doing, but it wouldn’t help. I had guilt so deep in my skin that I didn’t know if I could ever perk up.

Kira leaned down, putting her hands on either side of my chair. She got close to my face. “And who”—her eyes began to water—“was there for me when my dad left?”

I sniffled. “Me.”

“And that’s because you’re a great person. You’re the queen bee for a reason.”

I nearly burst into tears as I reached out and hugged her. The smell of her strawberry shampoo filled my nose and set me at ease. I could always count on Kira.

“Tessa Crimson,” a nurse called from the triage room. I turned to her and then nodded at Kira.

“Thanks, K,” I said, pulling back. I was glad that I still had someone.

“No prob, Tess. Just remember, a Smitten Kitten always lands on her feet.” She took my arm and helped me up, then followed me to the cubicle.

Despite being a game day, Friday was easily the second-worst day of my life. I had a Band-Aid on the side of my forehead, which was not at all cute. It wasn’t even pink. And I had a bruise on my jaw from where Chloe had punched me. Plus Christian the Creep had come to school, and Aiden was completely avoiding me. Like completely.

The one bright spot was that when I saw Chloe, she had a black eye and a small scratch on her cheek. It made me feel a little better.

The Smitten Kittens were all on edge, watching the crowds, keeping our ears to the ground. Christian would surely tell the school. If not, his sister wouldn’t miss the chance. But none of the guys did more than their usual gawking. No one even seemed to have heard about Aiden and me.

“I feel like we’re in the nose of the storm,” Kira leaned over to whisper to me during history class. “It’s eerie.”

“I think you mean the eye of the storm.” I took out my pen and drew hearts on my notebook, not looking at her. I was a mess. There was a purple, stitched welt on my forehead, my cheer skirt was wrinkled, and the paint on my toenails was chipped off. I hadn’t even bothered to tie my hair up. I was a poor excuse for a captain.

Kira sighed. “Tessa,” she said. “It’ll be okay. Aiden is still whipped cream; I know it.”

I shook my head. “He hates me.”

“Cut up the charge card because I’m not buying it,” she said, tickling my nose with the purple pom-pom on her pen.

Mr. Powell cleared his throat, and I glanced up at him in front of the class. I wondered if he knew—if my teacher somehow knew that my boyfriend had kicked me out of his room. But I was being paranoid.

I dropped my eyes and continued to draw on my notebook. Since I’d left Aiden’s last night, I’d become numb. Well, except for my forehead, which still throbbed.

Kira looked over her shoulder toward the back of the room and then leaned into me. “Do you think Christian is going to tell everyone about SOS?”

Her voice was shaky. I didn’t blame her for being nervous. Kira still cared about her social life, and she still wanted to date. If we were outed, both of those things would be crushed. But I didn’t give a rusty nail. At least about dating.

“I don’t know if he’ll tell,” I said, my voice low. “But Chloe probably will.”

Kira gasped. “She knows?”

“Ladies,” Mr. Powell interrupted. “Do you mind?”

Kira and I both looked up at him. “Sorry,” Kira said and smiled. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I was completely and utterly without spirit. I just wanted class to be over. There was a slim chance Aiden would be at my locker, and there was an even slimmer chance that he might talk to me. After all, my mother had forgiven my father. Couldn’t Aiden forgive me?

After history, I had left Kira to walk the opposite way down the hall when someone touched my elbow. I swung around, startled.

“What the flip?” I said. It was Christian, looking haggard, exhausted. Jingle bells! This kid was hard to shake. “Please don’t talk to me,” I mumbled, turning away from him. I started walking again and he fell in step next to me.

“I want to apologize,” he said. My eyes felt heavy. So did my heart.

“Not accepted.”

“Tessa, please,” Christian said, grabbing my arm and swinging me around. I gasped. He was still not allowed to touch me.

“Get your hands off of me,” I hissed, trying to pull my arm away.

His face twisted, but instead of backing up, he yanked me closer. “But ... you kissed me back, Tessa. You kissed me last night.”

He was desperate. The look on his face was absolutely desperate. I was nauseated by the reminder and the smell of spearmint that washed over my face. His hands had touched me yesterday. Ick. I pulled my arm out of his grip.

“Was it you?” I asked. Did I want the truth?

“Was what me?” Christian licked his lips, looking at mine. Gross! Dream on. His mouth would never touch me again.

“Did you send the text about Aiden and Chloe? Did you and your sister plan this whole thing?”

It only took a second for his cheeks to turn red. Carpal tunnel syndrome! That sneaky son of a biscuit. He’d sent a fake message. I’d been so stupid.

“Yes, but hear me out,” he said, reaching to touch my hand.

“Ew, no!” I pushed him backward, and a few people turned to look at us. We were quickly drawing a crowd. “It was you! All along it was you, orchestrating everything!” I was yelling. I was yelling at school and I wasn’t in the gymnasium. “I can’t believe how manipulative you’ve been. Oh, my word!”

Christian’s mouth hung open; he was probably shocked that I was screaming at him, embarrassed that everyone was watching us. But I wasn’t ready to stop there.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, self-consciously. “I just really liked you. I thought if you—”

“That’s not an excuse!” I pushed him backward again. He stumbled. “I’m so sick of you right now.” And I was. I looked him up and down, my purr transformed into a hiss. “I can’t believe your tongue was ever in my mouth!”

The crowd collectively gasped. Well, if they didn’t know about me and Aiden before, they certainly did now. It didn’t matter. I was done with secrets.

“Stay away from me,” I said in no uncertain terms. Christian looked crushed, and for a second, I felt bad about it. Like I’d broken his heart. But then I remembered how his hand had slid under my skirt as I cried. Jerk. Big stupid jerk.

I twirled around, turning my back on him, on the crowd, and I marched. I stomped down the hall and headed for Aiden’s class. He’d talk to me. I wouldn’t let him ignore me.

A few people whispered as I walked by. My reputation was ruined, and maybe by the end of the day, they’d know about SOS too. I turned down the English hallway and I saw him.

I saw the tousled blond hair and the long, lean body. Suddenly my urge to cry was back.

“Aiden!” I called. He stopped walking but didn’t turn around. My heart sped up.

I trotted ahead, and when I reached him, I took his forearm, turning him to me. His skin was so warm. Sweet kitty princess! I missed him.

Aiden gently removed himself from my hands. “Hello, Tessa,” he said looking down at me. I couldn’t read his expression, but he hadn’t shaved. He was sort of disheveled, and I loved him like that.

“You didn’t take my calls,” I said, my voice sad.

Aiden’s face twitched a little, but he straightened it. “I’m sorry about that,” he answered. His green eyes flicked to my Band-Aid. “I heard you needed to get stitches.”

He heard? Was he asking about me? That was sweet.

“I got one,” I said, trying to sound cute, the way he used to like me.

Aiden chewed on his lip, watching me, calm and collected. “Tessa,” he said, dropping his eyes. “I think I need a break.”

The bell rang, sending students running past us in the hallway. But Aiden and I stood there, staring at each other. It got very quiet, and I could barely breathe. “A break?”

Aiden looked down at my lips but then clenched his jaw and looked past me. I wondered if he was imagining Christian’s mouth there. “I can’t be with you anymore,” he said. “Not after ... everything. All the lies.” He shook his head.

“But—”

“It’s over. I’m sorry.” He wouldn’t look at me.

I didn’t want to cry in the middle of the hallway, but I felt like I needed to defend myself. I wanted Aiden to understand. “We started SOS with good intentions, Aiden. They were cheating. All those guys were cheating, don’t you see that?”

He snapped his green eyes to mine, pulling back his mouth in a sneer. “And you were spying, sneaking around. Why was it your business? It wasn’t. You had no right.”

Ouch. There was a pain growing in my chest, getting deep and heavy. “I still love you, though.”

Aiden blinked and sniffled once before looking away. “Yeah, well. It’s not just about you anymore.”

“Don’t,” I said, but when I reached for him, he stepped back. Away from me.

I blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears from spilling. I needed to go home now. My life had just been thoroughly thrashed. Aiden didn’t want me. The boy didn’t want me anymore.

“I’ll see you around, ba ... Tessa,” he murmured.

I felt absolutely defeated. Aiden turned and slowly began to walk down the empty hall, dragging his sneakers on the linoleum. I stared after him, no longer needing to hold back my tears. Just as I closed my eyes, they leaked down my cheeks. I wasn’t sure how to do this. How to properly grieve for him. Cookies and ice cream couldn’t solve this problem. I wasn’t sure anything could.

Christian started calling my cell, but I didn’t answer. He didn’t deserve that satisfaction. I deleted his messages before listening to them. I was sure that the Smitten Kittens were trying to keep SOS alive without me, especially Leona, but I’d given up all control. I’d barely been showing up for practice. I’d even missed last week’s game.

Aiden didn’t sit at our lunch table anymore. He sat with Darren and the team. I stared at him sometimes, but he didn’t look back. He just kept his head down and chewed his food. He looked as sad as I felt.

He really was taking a break. He wouldn’t take my calls. His mother had begun chatting with me on the phone, though, mostly about school stuff. She didn’t ask if Aiden and I were officially over; she probably didn’t need to. Obviously he didn’t want to talk to me.

Christian and Chloe kept quiet about SOS. I wasn’t even sure Chloe knew the whole story. But if she did, she was keeping her pouty mouth shut. Maybe she was embarrassed. Embarrassed that Aiden didn’t want her. Even without me in his life, he still didn’t want her scowling face.

One afternoon, I sat in the lunchroom, half dead from exhaustion. I’d been having all sorts of nightmares lately—ones where I was running around desperately, trying to finish impossible missions. The squad was with me, but my table was without pep. It was lonely.

I looked across the buzzing cafeteria at Aiden. At the same moment, he picked up his adorably blond head. His mouth opened as our eyes met, but then he dropped his gaze, staring down at his tray. Did he still love me? Did he miss me?

Right. He couldn’t even look at me. I felt seriously dejected. Alone.

Kira cleared her throat from across the table. “Tess?” she asked cautiously. “We’ve been getting texts. Ones for SOS. But ... things haven’t been going well.”

Leona snorted. I glanced at her and she widened her eyes, letting me know that Kira’s words were an understatement.