“Great.” Megan grinned. In defense of her breakdown the other day, she'd perked up fast. She'd even changed and pulled up her hair, just to go to the boys’ house. I wore my sweats. Really, it was Jaron and Brian. Who cared?
“So, Brian is going to play a hymn on the guitar—not the melody, just the chords—and we get to guess what it is,” Jaron explained. “It's a little tricky, and I've heard him practicing, so I might win,” he warned.
“Well, in that case, Jaron's on my team!” Megan scooted next to him. He glanced over at her and then back at Kim and me.
“Guess we're in it together,” Kim said to me. “Though you know music better than I do, so… good luck, Leigh!” She patted me on the back.
“Great. Thanks.” I looked over at Jaron. “What do we get if we win?”
He raised his eyebrows a few times. He had a prize. What a dork. “You get first choice of donuts.”
Okay, so he wasn't that big of a dork. I loved donuts.
Brian looked a little embarrassed to be in the middle of things like he was. He didn't make eye contact with any of us, and he kept shifting his weight, looking for a comfortable way to sit.
“Go ahead, Bri.” My brother gestured to him.
Brian's fingers moved so easily and swiftly across the strings that I forgot to listen for the hymn. I just sat and stared at his hands and felt the warm sound come from the guitar.
“I am a Child of God!” Megan yelled out.
Brian nodded. Jaron gave her a high-five, and we all waited for the next song.
Brian shook his head and sat thinking for a minute. He started “Nearer My God to Thee.” I knew it right away and just started singing the words of the song instead of yelling out the name. I'd forgotten how fun it was to sing with a guitar. I sang the whole first verse. I didn't want to stop.
“Wow, Leigh. I don't think we'll ever get used to your voice,” Megan said.
“She wasn't even really singing there.” Jaron looked at me.
I shrugged. “I like the guitar. It's more relaxed.” My eyes caught Brian's. “This is really cool.”
He laughed. “Okay, two points for Kim and Leigh because Leigh actually sang the song.”
“Favoritism!” My brother accused, pointing at Brian.
Brian ignored Jaron and started in on another song. We had such a good time that we ran out of songs and forgot to keep track of points. I simply started singing the ones I knew. I could have sat next to that guitar all night. Something about it didn't make me nervous to sing at all, though that probably had as much to do with the company of good friends as the music.
“Well, I think Brian deserves first pick.” Jaron said, getting up and returning with the small box of donuts.
“I'm actually not hungry. But I did enjoy Leigh's singing.” He pulled an orange frosted donut out of the box and handed it to me.
“Thanks!” I shoved the first bite in. “It's delicious.”
“We're going to take ours on the run,” Kim said as she and Megan walked to the door. “Gotta get homework done.”
“Thanks, guys.” Megan waved as she walked out.
Brian put away his guitar and pulled out his laptop.
“Hey, Brian?”
He looked up.
“Thanks. That was a lot of fun.”
“No problem.” He smiled briefly and then went back to work.
“Leigh?” Jaron asked.
“Yep?”
“Can I walk you home? There's something I wanted to ask you.”
“Uh, okay.” I was hoping he wasn't going to try to do one of his older brother duty things on me. He followed me across the lawn into my backyard.
“Do you know how Megan's doing with the whole Trevor thing?”
“She seems okay. Why?”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“It might take her a while, but it sounds like it was her idea to split. It's just that she's been working toward being with him for a long time, you know?”
“Oh.” He took a deep breath. “Would it be weird if I asked her out?”
“Yes, it would be weird. She's my roommate. I don't want you guys swapping Leigh stories all night.” I laughed.
“What if I promised not to talk about you?” He looked really worried. He really liked her. I totally hadn't seen that one coming.
I stared at him for a moment. “Okay then,” I said slowly. “If you promise not to talk about me.”
“Thanks, Leigh.” He grabbed me in a big bear hug that nearly squeezed the breath out of me.
“Okay, okay, good night. Just remember, if you two get married, you'll have me to thank.”
“I'll remember that.” He turned and walked back to his place.
I hitched my backpack higher on my shoulder as I stepped inside the theater building.
“Leigh! It's great to see you!” Janice smiled at me. “How do you feel about capes and cloaks?” She got straight to the point. I liked that about her.
“Sounds fun.” It felt good to be back in the costume department again. I did well there.
“Oh good.” She looked relieved. “No one wants to tackle those. So much material and lots of long straight lines.”
We pulled out the fabrics she had in mind, and I looked at some sketches the director had sent down. I pondered over them for a few minutes and started in.
I sat down at the machine I'd used last time. I laughed at myself because I hadn't even tried any of the others, but already, I had a spot. My favorite. Three hours passed in a blink.
“Oh my gosh, that looks great!” Janice said as she walked out of her office.
“Thanks.” I shrugged. “I gotta take off.”
“Leigh Tressman, freshman genius.” She smiled over at me. That felt great. I smiled widely and walked up the stairs to find Jaron for my ride home.
sixteen
I felt dizzy as I climbed up the steps of the library, but I needed help with math. Finals were approaching. I hadn't been sleeping well. Study room B on the third floor? I suddenly wasn't sure. I saw a girl named Amy, one of the people I was meeting up with.
“Amy!” I did my best loud library whisper to get her attention. She waved, smiled, and stopped just outside of a study room door. I saw spots and blackness. I needed to sit down.
“You okay?” She looked worried as I caught up to her.
“Yeah, I just need to sit for a minute.” I blinked over and over, trying to get rid of the disorientation. A wave of heat ran up my body. I leaned my back against the wall. I didn't know if I was just inside or just outside of our study room when everything went black.
Light burned my eyes as I tried to wake up. I was aware of a few things at once. I lay in a hospital room, there was an IV in my arm, and I wasn't alone.
“Leigh.” I heard Jaron's voice next to me breathe a sigh of relief.
I looked over at him. Why was Jaron here? My arms moved to my chest, and I felt my T-shirt. At least I still had on my clothes from earlier in the day. I hated hospital gowns.
“You passed out in the library. Someone called 911 and a girl named Amy dug out your phone and called me. I'm apparently under brother, Jaron, and emergency contact.”
“Well, I'd rather have someone call you than Mom and Dad. They're not in my phone as Mom and Dad.” I shifted my head to face him. “What's going on?”
“You're in the hospital. They hooked you up.” He motioned to my IV bag. “Your electrolytes are all messed up.”
I sighed. I felt weak. Not just my body, but myself. Weak and vulnerable. I wanted to be one of the strong girls who never gets sick, who can ride a Ferris wheel without throwing up, and who can travel and not sleep for days on end and still function. I was not that girl.
“Why didn't you tell me you weren't sleeping?” Jaron sat forward in his chair, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands clasped together tightly.
“Because you worry too much and because you'd probably tell Mom and Dad, and they worry
way
too much.” My voice felt hoarse.
“Can't you understand why?” His face wrinkled with concern.
I didn't like to think about how much they'd all worried about me. How much they still worried about me. I didn't like to think of myself as fragile. Part of me felt like, “if I act tough, then I'll be tough.” It wasn't working as well as I wanted it to.
“Hello there, Miss Tressman!” Dr. Watts strode into my room, chart in hand, wearing a smile way too big for hospitals.
“What are you doing here?” My eyes narrowed as he stopped next to my bed.
“Well, one of the joys of the computer age is that I know when one of my patients checks into the hospital, and here you are.” He gestured to the obvious fact that I was on the bed in front of him. He seemed very pleased. “Don't worry, I won't take much of your time. Your brother was listed as one of the people I'm allowed to talk to, so we've gone over pretty much everything.”
“You talked to Jaron?” I didn't want him talking to anyone but me.
“Only because when you filled out the forms in my office, you said it was okay.” Dr. Watts still seemed relaxed and pleased that we were all here together.
Right. I remembered. Maybe I'd change it. “So, when can I leave?”
“When your IV bag is empty.” He glanced at Jaron. “Your brother is going to keep a close eye on you for a few days. Your blood work looks clean as far as cancer indicators go, but you really need to keep up on your vitamins. And if you're not sleeping, Leigh, take a pill. I got you a refill. Feel free to only take them in halves, but not tonight. Tonight take the whole thing.” I liked Dr. Watts. As much as I hated the situation, I liked his relaxed demeanor. He didn't talk to me like a normal doctor, but his instructions were meant to be followed.
“What are you doing in Provo?” I realized suddenly that he didn't belong there. His office was in Salt Lake. It didn't make any sense.
“I live here.” He laughed. “It's my day off. I don't normally spend my hospital days in jeans and sweatshirts.” He looked down at himself.
“Oh.” I hadn't even noticed what he wore. “You came to see me on your day off?”
“You're one of my patients, Leigh, and I live just around the corner. My office called.”
“Oh,” I said again. It felt like a lot, him going out of his way like that.
“I know you don't want this to be a big deal, Leigh, but it is a big deal. Your body won't get better if you don't give it rest.” He looked at me with honest concern.
I felt properly chastised and just wanted to go home. “Understood.”
“So, call me if you need anything, okay?” He reached out and touched my knee.
“It looks like I don't have to.” I gestured to the fact that he stood here in my hospital room.
He laughed and started for the door. “Don't make me see you like this again, Leigh. Take those pills we both know you love so much.” The door closed behind him.
“Help me turn this thing up. I want out of here.” I leaned over and found the dial on the tube between my IV bag and my arm.
“Are you supposed to do that?” Jaron asked.
“Shall we compare how many times I've had a needle in my arm to how many times you've had a needle in your arm?” I looked over at him. He rolled his eyes at me and leaned back in his chair. “Besides, this is just fluid, the worst thing that'll happen is my arm will feel a little cold.”
Jaron raised his hand up between us. He didn't want to hear any more.
Once I moved the dial up, I sat and looked at Jaron in the chair next to me. How had I not thought of this first? “You didn't tell Mom and Dad, did you?” If they knew, they might be tempted to keep me home next semester.
The look he gave me said it all. Of course he did. I laid my head back, exasperated.
“Come on, Leigh. I can't not tell them when you pass out.”
Ugh. He was probably right. I remained silent.
“I did downplay it… a lot. You owe me.”
“I'm sure I will.” I lay there and stared at the ceiling. I checked my IV. “Great, it's done. Now we can go home.” I really wanted out of that hospital.
I pushed the button for the nurse. She came in and slid the needle out of my arm. She gave me a dirty look that said, “I know you messed with something,” but she didn't say a word.
I smiled in return and happily climbed off the bed. I stumbled once toward Jaron, my legs still weak. He caught me and took me under his arm.
He opened his mouth to say something.