The Next Door Boys (10 page)

I didn't want to feel helpless anymore! I'd had enough. I wanted my healthy body back. I didn't want to be the sick girl. I didn't want to be the weak person sitting by herself at the bottom of the hill. I wanted to race Jaron to the top. No, better than that, I wanted to beat Jaron to the top. I heard footsteps behind me and wondered how much worse my day would get.

“You okay?” Brian asked. “Evan said you were down here alone.”

“Yeah, I'm a little tired.” I was feeling worse by the minute. I needed home. I was chilled but started to break out in the sweats that I'd get before passing out. I did not want to pass out. Passing out meant hospital and probably a lecture from Dr. Watts and who knows what from my mom. It definitely wouldn't help my case to stay in school.

Brian looked at me more closely. “You don't look so good.”

“Yeah, I bet not.” I looked around at the cold ground I was sitting on.

“Can I help you back down?” He asked. He looked over his shoulder several times. “Should I call your brother? The hospital?” He was standing next to me looking very unsure about what he should do. He started to sit next to me but changed his mind. He didn't seem able to stand still.

“I hate asking for help.”

“You didn't ask, I offered.” He reached out his hand and pulled me up. He let me lean on him down the hill. I wasn't totally comfortable with Brian, but at least he wasn't Evan, asking to wait for me to heal so he could take me out. I blinked back more tears of frustration.

“So, Evan, huh?” A hint of tease in his voice.

“Apparently I was too nice to him.” I let out an exasperated sigh. “I guess I need to start being mean to boys so they'll leave me alone.”

“Should I back away from your wrath?” he teased.

I just shook my head. I held on to him tightly as my shaky legs slipped underneath me on the way down the hill. We were back to the cars in no time. I really thought I was going to pass out alongside the trail.

“I'm exhausted. I had an especially long night last night. Do you mind if I sit with you?” he asked.

I was too cold and shaky to argue. Almost anyone's warm car sounded pretty nice. “Just promise you won't tell me you're falling in love with me.”

“I promise.” He laughed as we climbed into his car.

“You know you intimidate me,” I said when he sat down. I didn't look at him. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the headrest, hoping my body would start to cooperate since I was sitting still. I felt as if he deserved some explanation as to why I didn't talk as easily to him as everyone else seemed to.

He laughed. “How?”

“I don't know. You seem years older than Jaron, and you're just so grown up, and you've had all these experiences. It's like you lived a whole life before you got to where you are. You seem a lot older than us in a lot of ways.” I didn't move. I didn't open my eyes.

“Oh.” There was surprise in his voice. “Well, I am a few years older than Jaron, but it doesn't feel like a lot to me. I sit at church and feel years behind everyone.”

I tried to keep my breathing slow and even, trying to concentrate on the things around me. I felt as though I hadn't slept in a week, but I knew that even if I could lie down, I wouldn't be able to sleep. Nausea and dizziness took over.

“Are you okay, Leigh?” There was real concern in his voice now. “I think we should get you home.” He started his car.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “I need to be home.” I blinked away spots again. I put my hands against the cool glass and started to take turns putting them on my forehead.

“You know, I've been in worse situations, but I'm a little scared here. Do I take you to a hospital? What should I do?”

“Please, no hospitals. Just food and home.”

“I'll call your brother. He was racing Megan to the top. You know, I think there might be something there.”

“Jaron and Megan?” I nearly laughed. “They're just good friends, that's all. Besides, she's waiting for her missionary, remember?” Brian was good at distraction.

“Well, you know what they say—all the best marriages start with great friendships.”

“We'll see.” I felt worse by the minute, more dizziness, more floating. I really didn't want to scare Brian by passing out in the car. The cancer was gone. The chemo was over. My body should be behaving. If I got off schedule or overstressed, I couldn't sleep. I did the best I could, I'd have a few bad nights followed by a few shaky, drugged up days, and then I'd start the cycle over again. I rubbed my fingers over my forehead.

Brian pulled out his phone. “Jaron? I'm taking your sister home… um, terrible…” I threw him a look and he just shrugged. “I already asked her and she said home was fine…”

“Tell him I'm taking a pill and he can check on me when he gets back.”

“She's taking a… oh, you got that… take her to the hospital if she what? Okay, bye.” He looked over at me, his eyebrows pulled together. “Don't pass out, okay? It'll send us both to the hospital.”

“Oh, come on, you were in the military right? You shouldn't be so squeamish,” I teased quietly.

“Yeah,” he said, “that's why I don't like hospitals.”

I was curious about Brian's experiences in Iraq, what made him not like hospitals. It, too, was a good distraction.

“Oh, food, I have to feed you before you make yourself crash. There's a Crown Burger, is that okay?”

I couldn't smile. I fought to stay conscious. I pressed the side of my face against the cool glass and closed my eyes. It helped.

“Leigh?” He sounded stressed. He reached over and put a hand on my leg.

“Plain cheeseburger, chocolate shake, and that's all I'll be able to handle. You'll have to eat my fries,” I said quietly.

I heard him breathe out in relief. He moved his hand.

I ate slowly on the way home. The drive was short. Neither of us spoke. When we pulled into the driveway, Brian ran to my side of the car. I turned and set my legs on the ground but realized I was going to need his help to stand. After the past year of relying on everyone around me, I really wanted to do things on my own.

I looked up at him standing there.

“Here.” He held his hands out for me to take.

I grabbed ahold of his forearms, and he helped me slowly out of the car. I was shaky and incredibly dizzy. The backyard seemed to move like a small boat being pitched about in the waves. I'd given up on having any amount of dignity, so I let Brian put his arm around me and I leaned against him.

“I just thought of something,” he said. “There might be some explaining to do if I take you to your house because Jaron said something about wanting you somewhere he can sit with you.”

Sit with me? While I slept? “What about the honor code and all that?”

I felt Brian shrug.

As much as I wanted my bed, I didn't want questions from my roommates, and I didn't need Jaron in my room. Whatever, there was no arguing with Brian over whatever Jaron was determined to do. Jaron and I would have to talk later. “No.” I sighed. “Take me to yours.”

“I know this all seems really dramatic,” I said quietly as he walked with me down the stairs, “but I'll be fine, I promise.”

“Well, that's good because you look terrible.” He tried to laugh.

I slipped and fell against him.

“Whoa.” He scooped me up in his arms.

“Now my humiliation is complete.” I felt too tired to argue and let my head rest on his shoulder.

“At least you kept us both out of the hospital.” He opened the door while keeping me in his arms. “And you weigh nothing.”

I leaned against Brian through their house and into Jaron's room. The dizziness was so disorienting. He slowly set me down on Jaron's bed. One thing for sure, Brian was strong.

“Your sleeping pills?” He asked as he kneeled by the bed.

“My bathroom.”

He came back a few minutes later with water and my small bottle. I raised my meds up to him, and he took the bottle, opened it, and handed it back.

“Thanks.” I didn't know what else to say. A mix of gratitude and embarrassment filled me. I slid a full one out, took a glass from Brian's hand and swallowed it.

“No problem. I promised your brother I'd stay here until he gets back. I hope I wasn't out of line, but you had a pair of pajama pants on your bed and I grabbed those too. If you need anything, knock on the wall. I'd never hear you otherwise, okay?”

“Okay.” It seemed silly, but knowing someone would be here made it easier for me to relax. I could feel my body getting heavier as I pulled off my jeans and put on my sweats. I lay my head on my brother's pillow and drifted into sleep.

I opened my eyes slowly. Jaron sat on the floor in his room reading a book.

“Hey,” I whispered. My body felt thick and heavy from my stupid sleeping pills. I hated it.

“There you are,” he whispered and slid closer to the bed. “You scared me.”

“I'm fine.” I kept blinking. My eyes were dried out.

“Do you feel better?”

“Not yet. I still feel drugged. What time is it?”

“It's close to 1 p.m., Sunday.”

“I slept for almost 24 hours?” I sighed. A whole day lost.

“Not quite.”

“Have you been here the whole time?” I looked over at him.

He nodded.

“Jaron. It's completely unnecessary for you to sit here while I sleep.” Then I realized something else. “You missed your meetings?”

He didn't say anything for a few minutes. “It's scary, Leigh.” I could see it in his face. It was a lot for him to admit. I suddenly saw this whole experience through his eyes. “It took everything in me not to run you to the hospital.”

“Sorry.” I still hadn't bothered to lift my head off the pillow.

“No, no, don't apologize. Don't feel bad that I'm here.” He shifted his weight and ran his hand over his head. “I couldn't imagine not being here. Besides,” he smiled at me, “What would Mom say if she thought I'd left you all alone?”

I tried to laugh through my guilt and gratitude.

“Julie went above and beyond for dinner for everyone tonight. I'm sure it's just about done. Wanna head up?”

“How bad do I look?”

He shrugged. “You look like you've been asleep for a day, but your hair is still impressively smooth and shiny.”

“Well, I'm starving. I guess it doesn't really matter.” I started to slide out of bed. I had no idea what to tell everyone. How do you explain crashing at your brother's house and ditching the ward hike?

“You might want to consider talking to everyone. You know I already told Brian about your last year. You said it was okay.”

I nodded. “He was very nice.”

“Well, he's a nice guy.”

Jaron took my arms as I stood out of bed. He was right. I needed to say something. I just hated being the sick girl.

ten

I heard them finish the prayer as we hit the bottom of the porch steps.

“Leigh!” Julie's face lit into a smile.

“Hey.” I tried to react appropriately, but my body still felt heavy and thick.

“Sleepover at the boys’ place, huh?” Kim laughed.

Maybe I shouldn't have been irritated with her, but I was. I only glanced at her briefly before sitting down. I put my hands in my lap and clenched them together between my legs. “Well, I'm sure you all have noticed that wherever I am, my brother is too. He's not normally this obnoxious about being so overprotective, but it was part of the deal if I wanted to come to school this year.” Everyone was suddenly quiet, listening to me. Brian was the only one who knew what was coming.

“I didn't make it to school last year because I had cancer.” All the girls held their breath. Stuart looked surprised, but he watched my brother, not me. “The chemo was really hard on my body.” I looked down at my plate for a minute. “Sometimes I can't sleep, and that really spirals me down fast, so I need a day or two of sleep so I can function again. That's why I don't walk to school, that's why Jaron monitors me so carefully, and that's why I'm only taking four classes. I get dizzy easily. I get tired fast. It was recommended that I take another semester off to recover, but I was too impatient to get out of the house and start my life.”

“Oh my gosh, Leigh.” Julie's eyes filled with concern. “Are you okay now?”

“I'm in remission, that's their term. But I know it's gone. I've spent too many hours on my knees to have any doubt over that. The only lasting side effect for me is that I can't have kids, but in comparison… it's not such a big thing.” I couldn't believe I'd been able to get it all out, but it seemed if I was going to drop one thing, I might as well drop it all. “I just didn't want you all to think I was crazy or that Jaron was some kind of tyrant.” I heard a couple of people start to laugh.

“Well, you'll let us know if we can do anything, right, Leigh?” Megan asked.

I nodded. We sat in silence for a few moments.

“Can we eat now?” Brian laughed.

I let out a breath of tension, grateful for the diversion.

“Yes, dig in!” Julie attempted to smile but her eyes kept diverting from mine and darting around the table, looking at nothing in particular.

We ate quietly; probably no one knew exactly what to say. It felt about as uncomfortable as I guessed it would.