The Next Door Boys (4 page)

Sunday changed my peace and quiet. Everyone in the ward suddenly knew who I was, all because Jaron talked me into singing one song. After sacrament meeting I had three guys ask if they could take me out sometime later in the week—on our own, with a group… no one seemed to care. I was running out of polite ways to say “no.” I wanted to finish school, and I thought it might be nice if I actually took some time and used the degree I'd worked so hard to get. I saw Jaron and Evan talking as Megan, Kim, and I walked out the door. Evan waved and smiled at me. I may have smiled back. I sighed. I really didn't want to deal with the possibility of Evan liking me.

“What's with Evan?” I asked when the doors closed behind us.

“How can you not see it?” Kim sounded annoyed.

“He likes you.” Megan smiled, taunting me.

“But I don't want him to like me. I don't want anyone to like me. I didn't encourage him at all!”

“Well, I guess you should stop being so nice to him.” Kim said.

“I shouldn't have to worry about being nice to people!” I folded my arms in front of me. I didn't know what to do. He'd probably show up tonight sometime and again tomorrow for FHE. I didn't want to be rude to the guy, but I didn't know how to discourage him either.

“Kim's mad because she's had a crush on him for a while.” Megan whispered, knowing full well Kim could hear. She flashed Kim a smile to tease her.

“Well, who wouldn't?” Kim said back. “And seriously, we've been serving together as the activities chair people for, like, six months! He totally should have asked me out by now.”

I just shrugged; this type of dating was all new to me. I'd had dates for high school dances but had never gone past that. It seemed silly, knowing it wouldn't go anywhere.

Sunday afternoon was hot; I could feel it through the windows of my room. I changed into comfy shorts and a T-shirt and flopped myself onto the hammock on Jaron's porch. I had no intention of looking nice because I expected that Evan would show up. It seemed like a passive way to discourage him—if Megan and Kim were right. Jaron joined me with a book. He sat without a word. I closed my eyes and kept them closed. I heard footsteps on the stairs, I cracked me eyes just enough to see Evan sit and quickly closed them again. I readjusted myself a little as Jaron and Evan exchanged words. I didn't pay attention.

“Leigh, how's school going so far?” Jaron asked.

“Math is harder than I expected,” I answered from my hammock. I didn't move.

“I can help with that,” Evan said.

I opened my eyes to look at him. I didn't want to encourage the guy, but help would be great. “Are you sure?”

He laughed. “Yeah, I'm sure. I'm nearly an accountant. We love that stuff.”

“Thanks.” I relaxed again, closed my eyes, and tried to look disinterested.

“I have to run. My parents are in Salt Lake and want me to come up for dinner tonight, but I'll be around tomorrow,” he said.

“You just got here.” I opened my eyes, confused. It seemed like a wasted trip to stop by for five minutes. Then I realized I was probably doing it again—being too nice.

“Oh, I was just stopping in to say hello to everyone on my way out of town.” He stood up.

“Okay.” I didn't see how an hour away qualified as out of town, but whatever.

Jaron looked over his book and waved as Evan got into his car. Then he looked over at me. I could see his dimples start to grow in the beginnings of a smile.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing.” He went back to reading. I flopped over on the hammock and enjoyed the warm breeze.

Evan came the next night, as promised. We sat at the outside table. I didn't want him in my house. It seemed too personal. Kim joined us with homework of her own. I was grateful. The more people there, the less personal it would be. I wondered if she did it on purpose.

“I hear we're having a little homework party tonight,” she said as she sat down.

“Something like that.” I set my texts on the table. “Evan is going to try to help me understand calculus—which I used to understand in high school,” I added.

Evan chuckled and sat next to me, turning the book so he could see what I was working on. Jaron must have heard the noise because he came up too. My phone rang as he reached the top of the stairs. I checked the ID. Mom.

“Hey Mom, I'm working on homework right now.” I really didn't want to talk to her with an audience.

“Are you okay? You sounded tired on the phone the other day.” Her voice had the same worried edge to it that it always did.

“Yeah, I'm great, but I have a lot of math to get done, and Jaron is pretty strict about starting family night on time.” I wrinkled my nose at Jaron. He made a face back.

“Okay, well call when you get a minute. I'll let you get back to it.” She sounded hesitant, as if she wasn't ready to be done.

“Thanks. Love you, Mom.”

“Love you too.” Though she hung up, I could tell she wasn't satisfied. I set my phone down and looked at Jaron. “One… two… th—” but I didn't get it out. Jaron's phone started to ring. “Guess who!” I laughed.

Jaron stood up and walked slowly off the porch as he talked to Mom. If Evan or Kim thought the calls were odd, they didn't let on. He was off the phone in minutes. I was still hunched over my math text.

Evan scooted closer to me, and I wasn't sure how to scoot away without being obvious. Or maybe I should want to be obvious. I didn't want Evan to get the wrong idea, though I wasn't sure at this point if I'd be able to discourage him. I kept hoping I saw things that weren't there. Kim sat quietly working on something for a writing class while Evan walked me through a few more problems. It was fuzzy, but I started to remember.

“Thanks.” I took the opportunity to sit back and scoot away. I wondered how I'd get through it next week. Math with Evan could not turn into a regular thing.

“Anytime. I'm happy to help.” His smile made it look like he was still completely undeterred.

I looked away, having absolutely no idea how to discourage Evan without being mean, which I really didn't want to do.

four

I saw Jaron pull in after his day of classes, and I ran outside to catch him. I was amazed that we were already in our second month of school.

“Jaron, can I borrow your car tomorrow?” I asked as he climbed out of his car.

“And hello to you too.” He chuckled.

“Hi, Jaron.” I crossed my arms.

“Where are you headed?” He paused, his pack on his shoulder.

“Does it matter?”

“I don't know, maybe.” Was he teasing?

“Because I have an appointment with my new doctor tomorrow.” I sighed. I didn't want him to know all the little details.

“Do you want me to come?” His eyebrows pulled together in concern.

“No. Unless you absolutely won't let your car drive to Salt Lake without you.” I didn't want to be annoyed, but I was, a little. He knew how much I was looking forward to handling things on my own.

“I'll let my car go to Salt Lake.” He spoke slowly and still looked unsure.

“Thanks.” I stepped back toward my stairs.

“Just let me know if you…”

“I'd really like to go alone, Jaron.” I hoped he'd understand.

He nodded and started to turn to his place.

“Thanks.” I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I let it out.

“You can come by and get the keys tomorrow.” He searched my face for a few more moments.

“Thanks, Jaron,” I said again.

“No problem.” I watched him walk down the steps and through his front door. I couldn't believe how much he'd grown up. He'd left for his mission a gangly nineteen-year-old and had come back with so much maturity—maturity of thought, of action, of build. I forgot sometimes how grown up he was. Seeing him fill up the frame of his doorway was a good reminder.

I sat in the waiting room with a lot of old people. That's how it usually was for me. Not always, but most of the time. Kids were taken care of by pediatric specialists; I didn't fall into that category. The air was artificially cool and the atmosphere artificially calm. Doctor's offices were always like that. Calm colors, fake flowers, overpriced artwork.

My chest felt tight, constricted. I kept forcing myself to relax by drawing in deep breaths. I went to doctors all the time. It was no different, no big deal. A new doctor and probably the same stuff they'd all been telling me since my last treatment. I'd get a list of things to watch for, be careful with the no-sleep dizziness thing, eat well, do light exercise… nothing new.

“Miss Tressman?” An overly perky young woman looked out from behind the door.” Overly perky people made me surly.

I stood up and followed her. She weighed me and took my vitals. I did my best to pretend I was somewhere else. It's tricky when you're balancing on a scale. I followed her to the exam room, where I sat and waited again. I had too many memories in rooms like this. I hated the smell. I hated the feel. All of it was attached to the feelings of dread that came with my diagnosis of cancer.

It was in a room like this that my life changed. I'd expected my doctor to tell me that I'd need to be on birth control or something to control by body's irregularities, and instead she'd come in and told me I had cancer.

My phone rang, and I jumped. I shuffled through both pockets in my purse before I got my hands on the thing.

“Hey, Mom,” I answered after checking the ID.

“How was your appointment, honey?” she asked.

“Well, I'll tell you when I actually have it.” Was she just sitting in front of a clock? Next time I made an appointment I wasn't going to tell her until it was over.

“Oh.” I could hear her deflation.

“I'm waiting right now, Mom. I'll call you when I'm done.”

I heard a knock at the door.

“Mom, the doc's here.” I waved at him as he walked in.

“You could just set the phone down,” she suggested.

I sighed. “I'll call you when I'm done.”

“Okay, sweetie.”

“Miss Tressman?” the doctor didn't look much older than Jaron. He wore a nice pair of slacks and the standard white coat, his stethoscope around his neck. Nothing new.

“Leigh.” I said, trying to smile at him. I used to like doctors when I was a little kid. I actually did like the doctors who took care of me throughout being sick, but the feeling around them was different. More like I was nervous, with a black pit in my stomach, and less like I was excited about getting a lollipop at the end.

“I'm Dr. Watts.” He reached out and shook my hand.

He sat at his computer and looked down my long history.

“Aren't you a little young to be an oncologist?”

“Aren't you a little young to be a cancer survivor?” He smirked.

“Yeah, I guess.” I smiled back. He'd be okay.

“Well, let's do a quick once-over.” He looked down my throat, listened to me breathe, and checked my reflexes.

“So, you're in school now?” he asked.

“Yep. BYU.” I felt as if I was taking a test, not getting a checkup.

“How's that going for you?”

“Okay.” I tried to be vague.

He shined his light in each of my eyes a few times and held his finger in front of me to follow.