The No Cry Nap Solution (2 page)

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This book is dedicated to you, dear Reader.

I feel a special connection between us. I suspect that we are

very much alike and that if we met, we would probably be

friends. We are connected by our love for our children, a

powerful emotion that parallels nothing else in our lives. We

are connected by our worries and doubts that are so much a

part of that love. And we are connected by our commitment

to do the best job that we can as we raise our children.

I have dedicated my previous books to my husband, my four

children, my mother, and my sisters, all the people I love most

in the world. When I pondered to whom I should dedicate

this new book, I thought immediately of you, because you

trust me to help you as you raise your precious little one.

I promise you that I take your trust very seriously.

Since you’ve chosen this book, I believe that we share core

values by which we make our parenting decisions, such as

kindness, respect, and gentleness. I also suspect that you

agree with me that problems are meant to be solved, and not

lived, and that what it takes is fi nding the right solution.

It is my sincere hope that you will fi nd the answers here that you

came for. It is my wish that this book will uplift you, support you,

and even entertain you. And of course, I hope that by the time

you fi nish this book, all your napping problems will be solved!

With warm wishes and hugs to you!

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Contents

Foreword xi

Acknowledgments xiii

A Word from a Sleep Doctor xvii

Part 1 Nap Magic

Naps: The Key to a Happy, Healthy Child 3

Important Facts You Should Know About Sleep 9

Create Your Sleep Logs and Your Nap Plan 23

Part 2 Newborn Babies

Growing into a Napping Rhythm 35

Nap Facts: Newborn Babies 38

Nap Tips for Newborns 43

Part 3 Solving Napping Problems:

Customized Solutions for Your Family

Catnaps: Making Short Naps Longer 63

The Nap Resister: When Your Child Needs

a Nap but Won’t Take One 81

Shifting Schedules: Changing from

Two Naps to One Nap 102

Shifting Schedules: Time to Give Up Naps? 112

Changing from In-Arms Sleep to In-Bed Sleep 136

ix

x

Contents

Naptime Nursling: Falling Asleep Without

the Breast, Bottle, or Pacifi er 154

Swinging, Bouncing, Vibrating, or Gliding:

Making the Transition from Motion

Sleep to Stationary Sleep 166

Helping Your Newborn Tummy Sleeper

Go “Back to Sleep” 185

How to Use Swaddling for Naptime 192

Changing Car Naps to Bed Naps 198

Colic Care: Helping Your Baby Get Comfort

and Relief from Naps 209

Special Situations: Questions and Answers 214

Could It Be a Sleep Disorder? When

to Call a Doctor 233

Index 239

Foreword

We forge a connection with our children before they are

born, and it lasts a lifetime. As parents, we are there as

they give their fi rst smile, speak their fi rst words, and take their

fi rst steps, and together we mark the milestones in their journey

toward adulthood.

Life with children is not always easy. We get to share their sleep-

less nights; times of pain, sickness, fussiness, temper tantrums, and

squabbles; and the many other challenges of being a parent. Don’t

we all wish children came with a user’s manual?

Elizabeth Pantley’s books for parents are as close to a user’s

manual as there is. Her No-Cry books offer remarkably clear and

practical advice. This latest book in the series addresses an issue

we have all faced and many have struggled with: helping our chil-

dren to nap.

Sleep is vitally important, especially to infants and young chil-

dren. Just like with adults, sleep gives their growing bodies rest

and recovery. Furthermore, it allows their young minds to process

and integrate the sensory impressions and experiences of the day.

Sleep is essential for both physical well-being and mental health.

Many children will drift off to sleep easily when they are tired

or if they are overwhelmed with sensory impressions. Others are

resistant. They may need excessive assistance from a parent. They

may be unable to tune out distractions. They may not want to

miss out on “all the fun,” or they may not want to feel that they

are being treated like a “baby.” Some children are extremely sensi-

tive to touch, irritation on their skin, or the slightest noise. Yet

others fi nd the issue of taking a nap to be a great way to assert

their independence and resistance to our authority. Every child is

different, and every family faces a unique set of challenges.

xi

xii
Foreword

In
The No-Cry Nap Solution
, Elizabeth once again gives par-

ents the tools to identify and understand their child’s issues. She

then provides varied yet specifi c solutions to their individual prob-

lems. She offers many ways that parents can help their babies and

young children settle down to a daily rest—without tears, stress,

or power struggles. Many parents will fi nd the ideas solve their

child’s nighttime sleep problems, as well.

Elizabeth’s insights and practical strategies have helped count-

less parents around the world. Her ideas are easy to adopt in your

home because they are based on common sense, science, and the

wisdom of experience. She deserves our thanks for providing reas-

surance and everyday advice and for helping us to become more

effective as parents. She inspires us to build homes fi lled with

warmth, love, kindness, and respect.

—Tim Seldin

President of the Montessori Foundation

Chair of the International Montessori Council

Author of
How to Raise an Amazing Child

Acknowledgments

Iwould like to express my heartfelt appreciation to the many

people who lift me up with their support every day, in so many

ways:

Judith McCarthy, my awe-inspiring editor, and the entire amaz-

ing team of people at McGraw-Hill who help to create my books:

after eight books together, still absolutely the best publisher ever.

Meredith Bernstein, of Meredith Bernstein Literary Agency:

counselor, friend, and literary agent extraordinaire.

Patti “the Wonderful” Hughes: my incredible, enthusiastic, and

loveable assistant.

My husband, Robert: my partner, my friend, and my soul mate

for twenty-fi ve blissful years and counting.

My family, my ultimate source of joy and inspiration: Mom,

Angela, Vanessa, David, Coleton, Michelle, Loren, Sarah, Nicho-

las, Renée, Tom, Amber, Matthew, Devin, Tyler, and Wyatt.

All the readers who have written to me about their precious

children; I feel a special friendship with each and every person

who writes.

The many test mommies, test daddies, and test children, for

sharing a piece of their lives with me: Abby, Abigail, Adeleine,

Adrienne, Ainslee, Alesasia, Alex, Alexa, Alexander, Alicia,

Alinah, Aliyah, Alyson, Alyssa, Amanda, Amelia, Ami, Ana,

Analiese, Anamaria, Anastasia, Andea, André, Andrea, Andrew,

Andy, Angela, Aniseh, Ann, Anna, Ann-Marie, Anthony,

Archie, Ariana, Arianna, Ariella, Arran, Ashton, Audra, Austin,

Autumn, Ava, Avery, Barbara, Barrett, Becky, Benjamin, Beth,

Bethany, Bonnie, Brandel, Brandi, Brandy, Bridget, Brittany,

Bryan, Byron, Caitlyn, Callen, Callie, Candace, Canon, Cara,

Carlie, Carmella, Caroline, Carrie, Carter, Cashton, Casper,

xiii

xiv
Acknowledgments

Cathy, Catriona, Cayden, Charlene, Charlie, Charlotte, Cherene,

Cheryl, Christi, Christine, Christopher, Clay, Cole, Colleen, Con-

nor, Constanze, Cornelia, Cortney, Courtney, Daniel, Danielle,

Dara, David, Dean, Debbie, Derryn, Diana, Doreen, Dovi, Drew,

Dylan, Elena, Elijah, Elissa, Elizabeth, Ellen, Ellie, Emerson, Emily,

Emma, Emmy, Emre, Ethan, Eva, Evan, Faith, Finn, Fiona, Frost,

Gaia, Genevieve, Georgiana, Ginger, Gloria, Grace, Grayson,

Hanna, Hannah, Heather, Hector, Heidi, Helena, Holden, Hol-

lie, Holly, Hugh, Ian, Ilkim, Isabella, Jack, Jackson, Jacob, Jaelyn,

James, Jamie, Jana, Janie, Jared, Jason, Jayden, Jayson, Jean, Jean-

Luc, Jeannie, Jeni, Jennifer, Jenny, Jeremy, Jessie, Jill, Joann, Jody,

Joel, Johari, John, Jon, Jonah, Jordan, Jordana, Joseph, Jubal, Jude,

Julia, Jullian, Justine, Kaiden, Kalina, Kami, Kamryn, Kara, Karen,

Kathi, Kathleen, Kathryn, Katy, Kayla, Keiran, Kelly, Kenderick,

Kendra, Kerri, Khalid, Kieran, Kim, Kiran, Kirin, Kirstin, Kristen,

Kristi, Kristin, Krystal, Kyle, Lana, Lara, Larissa, Laura, Lauren,

Leah, Leila, Leilah, Leon, Leta, Liam, Lillian, Lindsey, Liora, Lisa,

Loraine, Loralie, Lori, Lorrie, Lucy, Lucy Ann, Luke, Lynn, Mac

Robert, Maddison, Madeline, Madison, Malachi, Manal, Margaret,

Maria, Marisa, Marissa, Mark, Marsha, Mary, Mason, Matthew,

Maureen, Maverick, Max, Maya, Meaghan, Meara, Megan, Mela-

nie, Melissa, Mella, Michaela, Micheal, Michele, Michelle, Miguel,

Mikayla, Mike, Miles, Miranda, Mordechai, Moshe, Nadine, Nata-

lia, Natalie, Natasha, Nathan, Nathaniel, Negras, Neve, Nicholas,

Nicola, Nicolas, Nicole, Nina, Noah, Noelia, Norman, Ocean,

Oliva, Oliver, Olivia, Orion, Orit, Owen, Pamela, Parker, Patrick,

Patti, Paul, Peri, Pnina, Preston, Pyrra, Quinton, Rachel, Reagan,

Rebecca, Rebekah, Renee, Rhyann, Riley, Robert, Ruxandra,

Ryan, Sakina, Sam, Samantha, Samuel, Sandi, Sandra, Sarah,

Savannah, Scarlett, Schaefer, Sebastian, S¸ ebnem, September,

Shannon, Shari, Sharon, Shauna, Shellie, Sidney, Sierra, Silias,

Siobhan, Skylan, Sloan, Sofi a, Spencer, Stacey, Stacy, Stephanie,

Stevan, Steven, Susan, Tahlia, Tami, Tammy, Tara, Taylor, Tessa,

Thatcher, Theresa, Thomas, Tina, Tobias, Tonya, Tracey, Tyler,

Acknowledgments
xv

Vaughn, Veronica, Vicki, Wendy, Will, William, Xander, Yedidya,

Yonina, Zachary, Zanon, and Zoë.

The Test Parents

During the creation of this book, I received input, ideas, ques-

tions, and glorious photos from an incredible group of test parents.

These 209 people let me peek into their families’ napping prob-

lems and happy successes.

The No-Cry test parents live all over the world, and they repre-

sent all different kinds of families: married, single, unmarried part-

ners, from one child up to fi ve children, twins, triplets, adopted

children, young parents, older parents, at-home moms, at-home

dads, working parents, interracial families, multicultural families,

gay families, and one grandparent-as-parent. The Test Mommies