The No Cry Nap Solution (34 page)

make it work in one place but are missing at the other. For exam-

ple, you and your child care provider may both rock your baby to

sleep, but you pat her tummy and shush her when you lay her in

bed, while your day care provider lays her down without the rub

or shush, which are important parts of your baby’s falling-asleep

routine.

214

Special Situations
215

For older babies and toddlers, the day care situation can
encour-

age
naps—when other children are resting, your child will go

along with the group. Conversely, a day care setting can
prevent

naps if your child is too stimulated and excited to sleep.

Another potential issue is that your child’s schedule might be

quite different on day care days versus at-home days. Perhaps a dif-

ferent wake-up time, different mealtimes, and more or less active

playtime are causing nap inconsistencies.

So, the fi rst step is to look carefully at home naps and day care

naps and pinpoint the differences. The following chart can help

you to identify these differences. If you aren’t sure of the answers

for the day care column, you can copy this page and ask your day

care provider to fi ll in the answers.

Question

At Day Care?

At Home?

What time does your child wake up in the

morning?

Are there exact daily nap times?

Is there outside playtime early in the day?

What happens in the thirty minutes before

naptime?

Does your child watch television or movies

in the hour before naptime?

Where does your child sleep?

Is the room dark or light?

Where are doors and windows in relation

to your child’s sleeping place? Are windows

covered? Are doors open or closed?

What kind of noises can be heard from the

sleeping area?

Is there music or white noise?

Does your child sleep with a toy or stuffed

animal?

Is the room warm or cool?

How does the nap environment and routine

differ from the bedtime environment and

routine?

216 Solving Napping Problems

Once you’ve analyzed the nap situation at both locations, you

can pinpoint the differences and work to make the situations more

similar. Let your day care provider know that you have concerns

about your child’s napping, and request a meeting. Talk over the

issues and brainstorm possible solutions. A quality provider will

work with you to come up with a plan and communicate ongoing

results with you. In addition to the chart, look over the following

list of ideas as you create your nap plan.

• Ask if your provider is open to a napping location other

than the crib. Perhaps they have a cradle or baby ham-

mock they can use, or maybe a willing provider will carry

your baby in a sling for a nap. (Check local rules and

regulations.)

• If your child won’t nap at day care, try scheduling a short

nap as soon as you get home, as a “make-up nap.” This

might take the edge off and help transition your child from

day care to the remainder of the day at home.

• If it is a bad napping day, put your child to bed early at

night—thirty minutes to an hour earlier than usual. Simply

go through your normal routine, but a bit earlier.

• Add white noise to naptime, both at home and at day

care. This can help to mask distracting and possibly alert-

ing noises and create a consistent sleep sound. Look into

purchasing a small sound machine or travel alarm that has

recordings of white noise such as ocean waves or rainfall.

Place the sound machine in the same proximity to your

child’s bed in both places (such as under the foot of the

bed). It is likely that the white noise will be helpful to other

children in the room as well as to your own.

Special Situations
217

Standing Up in the Crib

Whenever I put my son in his crib for a nap, he immediately

stands up. If I lay him back down, he’s up again in minutes.

I know he’s tired, but he’ll continue to do this until he’s

crying to get out of the crib.

This is a typical problem for babies who are just learning to pull

themselves up to a stand, and they’ll often do this at naptime and

bedtime as well. Sometimes they’ll pull up but be unable to get

down, even if they want to! What’s happening here is a testament

to the incredible instinctual learning process that is built in to

every baby. When they are learning something new, it becomes a

near obsession until the skill is mastered. The good news is that

this phase is usually short-lived. However, there are several things

you can do to move things along.

• Make sure your child has plenty of opportunities to pull up

during the day. Take him to the playground or create obsta-

cle courses at home with tables and chairs so that your little

one can cruise around the house. Invest in a toddler walker,

which is a stable push-toy your child can use as he learns to

walk.

• If it fi ts your schedule, take your toddler out for a stroller

walk at naptime. Since he can’t be standing up in the

stroller, he’ll likely fall asleep during your walk.

• Schedule plenty of active time from morning until about

thirty minutes to an hour before nap, then slow down the

pace before nap as time to wind down. If your child likes

you to read to him, this is a good time for books. Quiet puz-

zles or other sit-still activities may help get your child ready

for naptime.

• Stay close and help him back down whenever he’s up. This

can be tiring but effective. Once you have him back down,

218 Solving Napping Problems

though, don’t simply walk away—that can be an invitation

for another “up.” Instead, take a minute and rub or pat your

baby and see if you can help him relax so that he can sleep.

Add some white noise or music, and make sure the room is

darkened.

• Try putting your baby for a nap in sleeping-bag-style paja-

mas. They will allow your child freedom of movement as he

sleeps but are harder to stand up in.

• Consider saying bye-bye to the crib and getting a toddler

bed or putting a mattress on the fl oor. Create a new nap-

time routine and end it with a back rub or other relaxing

nap inducer.

Weaning from the Naptime Pacifi er

My daughter uses her pacifi er for every nap. When should

I wean her from this, and how do I do it?

New studies tell us that pacifi ers may be a good thing for new-

borns and infants, as pacifi er use during falling asleep appears

to reduce the risk of SIDS. But once your baby is beyond the

infant stage, it may be time to think about weaning. Some pro-

fessionals recommend weaning a baby from the pacifi er by age

one as a preventative measure, with the argument that the older

the child gets, the more attached to the pacifi er he will become.

Others advise that in the absence of developing dental or speech

problems, you can wait until your child is two or three years old,

since you can then use reasoning along with an incentive chart

or distraction.

Most professionals are less concerned about pacifi er use if it is

used only at sleep times and is not an all-day habit. In the end,

Special Situations
219

the decision is yours. You know your child better than anyone else

does; when no medical issues are involved, only you can accu-

rately assess what role the pacifi er is playing in your child’s life and

in her sleep, and how you can best wean her from it.

Here are a few ideas for getting the process going when you’re

ready to start weaning your child from pacifi er use:

• Unless there is a specifi c reason you must take away your

child’s pacifi er, it’s best to do it slowly but surely. Try to

choose a time when there are no other major changes hap-

pening in your child’s life, such as the birth of a sibling,

potty training, starting day care, or moving.

• It can help to begin by making the pacifi er scarce during

the day except during critical times, such as when your

child is hurt or in bed for a nap. It can be easier to wean

active daytime use fi rst and sleep use second.

• Use distraction during the day. When your toddler asks for

her pacifi er, fi rst try to distract her: sing a song, give her a

toy, or go for a walk. Do something to get her focused on

things other than her sucking urge.

• Gradually reduce your child’s use by keeping the pacifi ers in

her bed. Some families have a “no pacifi ers downstairs” or

“only in your car seat” rule.

• Give your child an alternative to help soothe her when

she feels upset or tired. A cuddle, special lovey, blanket, or

favorite toy may comfort her instead of the pacifi er.

• When it comes time to remove the pacifi er from sleep

times, establish new bedtime routines that are different

from usual so that the cues for pacifi er use aren’t as evident.

For example, if your child typically is rocked with a pacifi er,

move your prebed routine to the sofa instead. If she usually

sucks during the bedtime story, offer a sippy cup of water or

teething toy during reading time.

220 Solving Napping Problems

• If your child falls asleep with a pacifi er in his mouth and

then wakes crying for it during the night, you can wean

him of this need by using Pantley’s Gentle Removal Plan,

described starting on page 162.

• Some older children embrace the idea of a “pacifi er fairy.”

She, of course, collects pacifi ers left under the pillow by

children who no longer need them and leaves wonderful

toys behind in their place.

Bye-Bye Bottle: Weaning from

Naptime Bottles

My ten-month-old baby still falls asleep with his bottle.

I have a feeling I should be weaning him from this, but how

will I get him to fall asleep if I take it away?

Weaning from a bottle isn’t only about a method of feeding. It’s

about saying good-bye to a part of babyhood, a comfort object,

and very likely, an important piece of your child’s sleep-time

ritual. Because of this, weaning shouldn’t happen suddenly. The

cold-turkey approach may only confuse your child and make both

of you miserable. A more loving and gradual process is easier on