The No Cry Nap Solution (36 page)

• Keep in mind that no matter what you do, it will take a few

days to fi nd a new rhythm. Don’t overschedule your fi rst few

days, if possible.

Twins, Triplets, or Children Close in Age:

Getting Two or More to Sleep

I’m the mother of fi ve-month-old twins. I’ve fi nally gotten

their night sleep somewhat under control, but their napping

is all over the place. What can I do to get them napping

better?

Having a dependable nap routine and consistent naptimes is

important for all children but can be especially important for

parents of multiples, who are dealing with more than one little

personality. The basic nap rules apply as they do to all children,

of course. Here we’ll touch on the unique issues for parents of

multiples.

Special Situations
227

Where Should They Sleep?

Together, apart, same room, different rooms, parent’s room? There

is not one right answer. Experiment a bit and do what feels right

to you and what works best for your children. Be open to differ-

ent sleep arrangements for nap versus bedtime, too. And don’t be

surprised if this changes over time. It’s fi ne to make adjustments

as you go.

Mother-Speak

“What we found is that things change from time to time and

have since the girls were newborns. At one point, the girls

will sleep together well; then they won’t, so we separate

them. Then, after a time, we start fi nding them in bed with

each other again. My suggestion would be to have the most

fl exible furniture and room setups so that you can made nec-

essary modifi cations throughout these transitions.”

—Shahin, mother of six-year-old twins, Aria and Rose

Synchronizing Nap Schedules

Each child has individual sleep needs, and to a certain extent you

can’t force them to adapt to a schedule just because it would work

better for you. However, the good news is that overall most chil-

dren have similar sleep needs at similar ages, and this can work in

your favor.

In order to guide your children toward the same napping sched-

ule, make your best effort to coordinate all aspects of their daily

schedules. They’re more likely to accept the same nap time if they

wake up, play, and eat at the same time. You can also encourage

them to have the same sleep schedule by keeping their room dark

228 Solving Napping Problems

during sleep times and brightly lit upon awakening and by utiliz-

ing white noise as a sleep cue and a way to mask outside sounds

that could wake them.

Try to keep your children’s energy levels in sync. Make sure that

mornings are bright and that they have plenty of active, energetic

playtime together. When it is nearing naptime, dim the lights,

turn on soft music, and orchestrate a brief quiet playtime to tran-

sition from action to rest time.

Special Needs, Special Naps

Our daughter has special needs that complicate her sleep

issues. How can we apply what we’re learning in this book

to our situation?

While sleep issues are common among all children, those with

special needs are even more likely to have sleep diffi culties, yet

they defi nitely benefi t from a consistent nap schedule. Since nap-

time is critically important to keeping your child’s energy level up

and keeping his mood and behavior stabilized, it’s worth the time

and energy to solve any nap problems. There are, of course, a wide

range and various degrees of special needs, and therefore it may

be helpful to converse with your health professional and parents

of children with similar situations. No matter your situation, there

are a few general guidelines that will apply to most families when

it comes to addressing sleep issues.

• Defi ne your child’s napping issues.
Take the time to com-

plete the logs and worksheets provided in Part 1. These will help

you understand how your child is sleeping and will assist you in the

process of identifying the napping issues that need to be changed.

Special Situations
229

Many sleep problems are not at all related to your child’s special

needs, so keep in mind that nap problems are common among all

children.

• Make a realistic, thoughtful plan.
As you put together your

sleep plan, be realistic and patient. Aim for a few short-term goals,

and as you achieve these, set a few more.

• One step at a time.
You may have a number of sleep issues

that you’d like to change. Trying to fi x everything at once may be

overwhelming to you and your child. It may be more productive

and less stressful to pick one or two issues and work to change

those before moving on to the next. You can either pick the prob-

lem that bothers you the most or choose the one that may be easi-

est to correct. Once you’ve had success with one issue, move on

to the next. Keep in mind that gradually applying all that you’ve

learned in this book will bring the best long-term success.

• Focus on routines and rituals.
Your child may respond best

when all her daily activities are choreographed to occur in the

same way and at nearly the same time every day. The predict-

ability of routine not only provides your child with daily cues, but

it also helps to set her biological clock so that she’s tired when

naptime comes, sleeps well, and wakes up refreshed.

• Ask for help if you need it.
There are times when nap prob-

lems are due to sleep disorders that won’t improve until they are

resolved. If you’ve made a nap plan and followed it consistently

for several months without any positive results, then read over the

chapter “Could It Be a Sleep Disorder? When to Call a Doctor” to

determine if your child might be served by a professional who can

provide a more extensive evaluation and specialized remedies.

230 Solving Napping Problems

Adjusting to Family Changes: Divorce,

Moving, Day Care, New Sibling, Sickness,

and Other Life Events

We’re expecting a new baby and will be moving to a new

home soon. How can I protect our toddler’s napping

routines through all of the upcoming changes?

Any major family change is likely to interfere with your child’s

nap routines. The combination of stress, heightened emotions,

disrupted schedules, and unfamiliar routines can wreak havoc on

even the best napper’s sleep. There are a number of things that

can help your child settle into any new life situation.

• Thoughtfully approach the changes to your child’s routine;

don’t just let things happen and get swept along.

• Maintain as much of your child’s original routines as pos-

sible. Consistency will help make other changes easier to

adapt to.

• Delay any additional changes, such as weaning, potty train-

ing, or moving to a toddler bed, until life has settled into a

comfortable new pattern.

• Create familiar environments wherever your child sleeps.

If the change is due to a move, the organization of two

separate households, or the start of day care, try to make

your child’s napping place in the new location resemble as

closely as possible her original location.

• Write down your child’s naptime and sleep plan. Request

that all caregivers approach naps in the same way when-

ever possible. The more consistency there is from place to

place, the more quickly your child will adapt to necessary

changes.

Special Situations
231

• Encourage your child’s attachment to a lovey, such as a

blanket or stuffed animal. Having a lovey will give your

child a feeling of security no matter where he is.

• Be patient. Your child may have an adjustment period of

several weeks, a month, or even longer, especially if she is

sensitive to changes. Some extra one-on-one attention and

a few more daily cuddles can provide just what she needs to

feel comfortable and to get settled into new patterns.

• Once things have settled back to normal, review your nap

routines and adjust them as needed to create an updated

plan. Consistently follow your plan each day.

Daylight Saving Time

We’re about to change our clocks for daylight saving time. I

know it’s only an hour, but the change seems to upset our

routine for weeks. When it comes to my children’s nap and

bedtimes, what’s the best way to deal with the time change?

You’re not the only one to struggle with the sleep change that

accompanies daylight saving time. About 70 percent of people fi nd

that their sleep schedule is off for a while after the time adjustment.

The resetting of our watches disrupts our physical rhythm—since

you can’t push a button to change your biological clock.

Lessening the Impact of the Daylight Saving

Time Changes

It can help simply to know that it’s normal to take a week or even

longer to adjust to the time change. Even if you use the suggestions

that follow, have patience with yourself and your children until

232 Solving Napping Problems

your biological rhythms catch up with the clock on the wall. Here

are a few things that can help you make a quicker adjustment:

• Take advantage of the power of light and dark to reset your

body clocks. Keep the house dimly lit in the hour before

bedtime and use bright lights for the fi rst hour after you

wake up in the morning.

• If you have to put your child to bed an hour earlier before

he’s actually tired, extend your prebed massage or reading

time. Either of these can help a child calm down and feel

drowsy.

• Just because the clocks offi cially change at 2:00 a.m. doesn’t

mean you have to change yours at that time. Instead,

change your clocks midafternoon before the time actually

changes. That way you’ll have made part of the adjustment

to the new time before it actually comes into effect. You’ll

have adjusted your child’s nap and evening meal to the

clock, which will help the bedtime adjustment fl ow more

smoothly.

If the Time Change Wreaks Havoc in Your Home

If you and your child are having lots of sleep problems already and

the change in time makes things much worse, see if you can split

the hour difference into fi fteen-minute increments over four or