The No Cry Nap Solution (15 page)

your days around the nap schedule. When your child is sleeping

on a regular schedule, then you’ll fi nd that missing a nap once or

twice a week will be much easier for him to handle.

Problem: Overtired or Overwired

by Naptime

Some children have subtle sleepy signs, and by the time they yawn

and fuss, they are already overtired. Some children give off unique

signs of fatigue that can be easily misinterpreted. Other times,

parents are too busy to spot the signs. No matter the reason, if

88 Solving Napping Problems

you miss your child’s signs of fatigue, he can quickly move past his

tired spell and into a second wind—that state of artifi cial energy

that often brings with it more crying, fussing, whining, and tan-

trums. When you miss your child’s tired signs, it also means he

won’t be able to fall asleep when you do put him in bed later.

Solutions

To learn your child’s sleepy signs, it can help to watch him in

the hour after he fi rst wakes up in the morning, when he is well

rested. Compare this to his behavior during the time from dinner

to bedtime, when most children show signs of fatigue. As his usual

bedtime draws near, make note of how his behavior and body lan-

guage differs from when he is alert and refreshed.

While children are unique in their combination of signs of

fatigue, your child may demonstrate one or more of these signs

that tell you he is tired and ready to sleep:

• Reducing his level of activity; becoming more quiet

• Losing interest in playtime, people, or toys

• Rubbing his eyes, ears, or hair

• Looking glazed or unfocused; staring off into space

• Having a more relaxed jaw, chin, and mouth (droopy

looking)

• Eyelids at half-mast, slow-motion blinks, or eyes open wide

and unblinking

• Becoming whiny, cranky, or clingy

• Fussing, crying, or having tantrums

• Losing patience with toys or activities

• A burst of uncoordinated activity or hyperactive behavior

• Yawning

• Lying down or slumping in his seat

• Watching television or a movie with a blank expression

• Caressing a lovey or blanket

• Asking for or rooting for the breast, a pacifi er, or a bottle

The Nap Resister
89

Father-Speak

“We’ve started watching Sam for sleepy signs and learned

something important. In the past when he started to lose

interest in toys, we would try harder to get his attention—

getting louder and more energetic. He’d end up with a

meltdown, and then it would take a half hour of rocking to

get him to fall asleep. Now we realize that he’s pulling away

because he’s tired. So we put him in the hammock and he

goes right off to sleep.”

—Hugh, father of six-month-old Samuel

Problem: Not Tired

It seems like a ridiculously obvious reason, yet it’s easy to misin-

terpret or totally miss a child’s signs of fatigue. A large number of

parents struggle with little ones who won’t nap, not realizing that

their child simply is not at all tired when he is put in bed.

Solutions

If your child is wide awake and alert when naptime rolls around,

don’t rush him off to bed. Think of the irony of this situation: your

child isn’t feeling tired at all, but you think it’s naptime so you

try to force him into it. “Relax! Now!” you say. It’s likely that the

harder you try, the more awake he will become. It may be better to

abort the trip to bed and take fi fteen to thirty minutes to help him

transition from the activity of the day to the relaxed state needed

for sleep. Lower the lights or turn them off. Turn off the televi-

sion and turn on soft music or white noise. Get him involved in a

quiet activity such as reading, looking out the window, sitting on

a rocker, or cuddling on the sofa. When your child begins to relax,

then you can head to bed for a nap.

90 Solving Napping Problems

Another way to help an active child slow down to allow tired-

ness to set in is to use a relaxation technique such as massage

or yoga. These practices hold many benefi ts, including relieving

stress, improving sleep patterns, and enhancing the parent-child

relationship.

If, despite your efforts, your child doesn’t relax but gets more

revved up, then look at the quiet time together as a bit of bonding

and recharging and try for a nap later.

Problem: Hungry, Thirsty, or Overfull

It’s not easy for a child to fall asleep if his tummy is rumbling from

hunger or groaning from too much food. His sleep can also be dis-

turbed if the wrong foods are eaten prior to sleeping time.

Solutions

Many foods can affect energy level and sleepiness. Some induce a

feeling of calm and even drowsiness, some can create feelings of

alertness, and others are neutral. This is due to certain chemicals

contained in food and certain biological responses to foods that

affect brain function.

Foods that energize or disrupt sleep can be avoided in the hour

before naptime. A few examples of the foods to avoid prenaptime

are red meat, bacon, sausage, caffeinated or carbonated beverages,

chocolate, peppermint, citrus juice, butter, sugar, simple carbohy-

drates (such as white bread), and foods that are fatty, greasy, or

spicy.

Conversely, foods high in whole-grain carbohydrates are known

to have a calming, relaxing effect on the body. Other foods that

are known to help create a calming effect are green, leafy veg-

etables and sunfl ower seeds. In addition, some foods contain tryp-

The Nap Resister
91

tophan, a sleep-inducing chemical. Avoid sleep aids containing

tryptophan or melatonin, as these can be dangerous when given

to children. Stick to these real foods: turkey, tuna, or natural pea-

nut butter without sugar. (Spread a small amount of peanut butter

on bread, crackers, or fruit. Peanut butter alone can pose a chok-

ing hazard.) Other good prenap choices are milk, cottage cheese,

hard cheese, yogurt, bananas, avocadoes, soy milk, tofu, soybeans,

eggs, and of course the ultimate sleep-inducing food, breast milk.

Be cautious about having a child drink a great amount of fl uids

right before his nap (breast milk excluded). A soggy diaper or an

urgent need to use the potty can disturb a child’s sleep and cut a

nap short.

Problem: New Milestones Are

Preventing Sleep

A child who is new to a major development skill, such as roll-

ing over, crawling, pulling to a stand, walking, learning to build a

block tower, learning how to use a computer, or beginning potty

training, can become so single-minded that he almost
can’t
stop

what he’s doing to relax enough to fall asleep. Children have dif-

ferent temperaments; some can work on their skills during waking

hours and put them aside during naps and bedtime, whereas oth-

ers fi nd it hard to shut off their physical practice.

Solutions

If your child is learning something new and exciting, make sure he

has plenty of time to practice during the day. Then resort back to

a familiar and routine activity in the half hour or so before nap to

create a buffer between practice time and sleep time. (If standing

in the crib is the issue, see page 217 for specifi c ideas.)

92 Solving Napping Problems

Problem: Reliance on a Sleep Association

A child who is accustomed to falling asleep in one specifi c way

can become so used to this method that if you try to have him nap

under any other condition, he would be physically unable to do

so. Examine this from your own viewpoint. It’s possible that you

sleep well in your own bed but struggle to sleep on an airplane, at

a hotel, or at someone else’s home. Some children’s sleep associa-

tions are so strong it can only be compared to asking you to sleep

on a roller coaster when you are used to sleeping in your bed.

Solutions

The most common nap-preventing associations are breastfeeding

or bottlefeeding to sleep, being held in loving arms, or sleeping

in a swing, bouncer, or car seat. These are wonderfully comfort-

ing places for a child to nap, but when they become necessary for

sleep, then it’s likely to cause a problem for the parent who must

provide naptime services. These associations are usually so nec-

essary to your child’s sleep that they override every other reason

or solution. Because these are complicated issues, each of these

associations has its own chapter of solutions in other parts of this

book. (Check the index for your topic.)

Problem: Health Problem

If any health issue is bothering your child, it can defi nitely affect

his sleep. Allergies and asthma are two of the most common

issues. Both of these conditions cause excess mucus secretion and

swelling of nasal tissues, so they can make it diffi cult for your child

to breathe comfortably when lying down. Colic, refl ux, ear infec-

tions, and diffi cult bouts of teething are other conditions that can

prevent a child from napping well.

The Nap Resister
93

Solutions

If your child suffers from any medical issues, then good naps are

especially important for his health. If this is the case with your

child, try to be fl exible about using any solution that helps him

sleep. Put aside any notion that your child must sleep in a certain

way, and open yourself to the concept that any nap is better than

no nap at all.

Children with upper respiratory issues often fi nd relief napping

in a more upright position, such as in a swing, hammock, sling, or

bouncer seat. They are often soothed by motion and loud white

noise. Experiment with various napping conditions to fi nd the

right answer for your child.

If your child takes regular medication, talk with your pharma-

cist about possible side effects of the medication. Sometimes these

can cause wakefulness or sleep disruption, so you might change

the dosage schedule to occur after naptime.

Problem: Overtired Due to Poor

Night Sleep

There is a defi nite correlation between nighttime sleep and the

length and the quality of daytime naps. Ironically, many children

who don’t nap well don’t sleep well at night either. So if you can

improve your child’s nighttime sleep, he may take better daily naps.

Solutions

Solving night sleep problems is as complex as solving nap prob-

lems, but it is worth investing your time and energy, as your child

will reap wonderful benefi ts from improved night sleep. I’ve writ-

ten two entire No-Cry Sleep books about nighttime sleep, but

here are a few highlights to get you on the right path. There are,

94 Solving Napping Problems

of course, exceptions to every rule, but these main ideas can help

most children sleep better at night:

• Maintain a consistent bedtime and awaking time.
When

you implement a set time for bedtime and wake-up time, you “set”

your child’s clock so that it functions automatically.

• Aim for an early bedtime.
Babies and young children

respond best with a bedtime between 6:00 and 7:30 p.m. Most

children will sleep
better
and
longer
when they go to bed early.

• Use light and darkness to set your child’s biological clock.

Darkness pushes the biological “sleep” button, so dim the lights

the hour before bedtime. Bright lights are alerting, so keep the

room bright fi rst thing in the morning and after your child wakes

up from each daily nap.

• Develop a consistent bedtime routine.
A consistent, peace-

ful bedtime routine allows your child to transition from the motion

of the day to the tranquil state of sleep. A pleasant routine also

acts as a cue to sleep and helps prevent bedtime battles.

• Create a cozy sleep environment.
Where your child sleeps

can be a key to quality sleep. Make certain the mattress is com-

fortable, the blankets are warm, the temperature is right, pajamas

are comfy, and the bedroom is welcoming.

• Help your child to be healthy and fi t.
Too much TV watch-

ing, hours spent in a baby seat or swing, and a lack of activity

prevent good sleep, both at naptime and bedtime. Children who

get ample daily exercise fall asleep more quickly, sleep better, stay

asleep longer, and wake up feeling refreshed. (Avoid activity in

the hour before sleep, though, so your child isn’t too revved up to

sleep.)

• Teach your child how to relax.
Follow a soothing prebed-

time routine that creates sleepiness. Massage, yoga, stretching,

reading, cuddling, or taking a warm bath are all good ways to help

a child relax. Don’t rush your presleep routine. Allow your child

the time to get drowsy and relaxed.

The Nap Resister
95

Work with these ideas and you’ll see improvements in your

child’s night sleep and in his naptime sleep, too.

Problem: Nap Routine Is Inappropriate,