The Normal Heart and The Destiny of Me: Two Plays (23 page)

RICHARD:
What I need’s a vacation from him.

RENA:
Are you free on Sunday?

ALEXANDER:
Just two more weeks you won’t ever have to see me again.

RENA:
Don’t say that!

RICHARD:
Maybe then I’ll feel better. Where’s Ben?

RENA:
You think he confides in me? (
Into phone.
) A cruise on your
yacht?
Cocktails at five to watch the sunset. We can hardly wait. (
Hangs up.
) Tessie and Isadore have a yacht.

(
NED
suddenly feels a little woozy. He stands up uncertainly. A bell rings softly. A yellow light goes on. He indicates to a concerned
ALEXANDER
that he should carry on. He makes his way back to bed.
)

ALEXANDER:
Benjamin is driving from New Haven in the new second-hand Ford he bought with his own money. He has jobs and he has scholarships and he’s paying his own way and he’s free, he’s a free man, ever since he beat West Point and they said he wasn’t a liar. So what do you know what’s right for him or
me or anybody? He won! My brother, whom you said wouldn’t win, won!

(
RICHARD
is standing directly in front of him.
ALEXANDER
holds his ground.
RICHARD
turns and leaves.
)

RENA:
Who.

ALEXANDER:
Who. (
Trying to kiss
RENA
.) A kiss for the cook. (
As she pointedly ignores him.
) Now, Alexander, you know I don’t like it when you talk back to your father like that. Yes, Momma, I know. I know you didn’t mean it, dear. But I did mean it, Momma. Oh, boy, did I mean it. And I don’t think I did anything wrong. Well, you can do your mom a great big favor. Even if you don’t mean it. Just do it for me. For the Mommy you love. I will not apologize! Ever!

(
The yellow light goes off.
)

RENA:
You used to say, Mommy, I’ll do anything you ask me.

ALEXANDER:
Ma, every kid says that.

RENA:
Oh, do they? What else do they say?

NED:
Mommy, I am going to become so famous someday, just so I can get away from here!

RENA:
My last case before we left was a family without a father. They lived in a shack. The lovely young mother. With two adorable children. Who threw up all over the house. And bled all over the sheets. From some strange illness.

NED:
And I must never forget that those two diseased babies might have been me and Benjamin.

RENA:
The point is we’re all healthy and together and he loves you very much.

NED:
The point is in my entire life I never believed for one single minute that my father ever loved me. The point is I can’t even figure out if I’ve ever been loved at all.

(
ALEXANDER
is troubled by this.
)

RENA:
The point is I love him and I love you and he loves me and he loves you and we all love each other very very much!

(
ALEXANDER
goes to sit on the swing.
)

I was so proud, being asked to be an official hostess. But you didn’t dance with your own mother at your own graduation prom, not once.

ALEXANDER:
Nobody danced with their
mother!

RENA:
Bernie Krukoff did. Neil Nelson did. Skipper with the red hair did. Do you know how much I wanted you? Do you? Mr. Know-It-All. You think you know it all. Some things you don’t know.

ALEXANDER:
You told me about Drew Keenlymore.

RENA:
I did not.

NED:
You did, too.

ALEXANDER:
Before I found his letters.

RENA:
I don’t even know where they are.

NED:
Hidden in a navy crocheted purse inside an old Macy’s hatbox at the back of the top of your bedroom closet, over on the far right.

ALEXANDER:
The purse is cable stitch.

RENA:
Your great-grandmother crocheted that purse. She was married three times and she divorced each one of them. She traveled all over the world. And then she came home and my poppa took care of her until the day she died. She was ninety-nine. She was one gutsy lady.

NED:
She was one scary lady. Always reading her Bible out loud, day and night, and barking orders in Hebrew.

ALEXANDER:
Grandma Sybil was the scary one!

RENA:
(
Sitting between them.
) After we got married, your Grandmother Sybil made Daddy promise he’d never leave her, that one of her sons would always look out for her. Richard kept his promise, which is why she left him the money. He worshiped her. Her great sinful secret was her husband’s infidelity. What was his name? I can’t even remember his name. She would never let his name be said out loud. She threw him out for sleeping with another woman. Kicked him out. Just like that. Judith divorced Leon, too. He kissed his mistress in his and Judith’s very bedroom. I caught them accidentally. He laughed at me! “Why don’t you go out and have some pleasure in life? Why are you always so faithful to that loser?” Imagine saying that about your own brother? I’d been to a doctor. The doctor examined me and told me I wasn’t pregnant. Richard—where was Richard? Well, he wasn’t there and I’d gone to spend the night with Mother Sybil. She terrified me, too. She was a mean, unloving, self-centered . . . bitch. Grandma Sybil only had one bed. I had to sleep with her. Oh, her smells! Her old-lady unguents and liniments. Don’t open the window. I feel a draft. I feel a draft. She started talking to
me in the dark. Telling me how much she’d loved him. Her husband. When they first came to America they scrubbed floors together. They’d meet in the middle and kiss. I don’t know why but I thought that was very romantic. Then one day someone told her he was cavorting with a woman in Atlantic City. She didn’t even let him pack. Her heart was still broken, she said, and she fell asleep crying. I kept waking up. I had to go to the toilet. I tiptoed in the dark. I didn’t even flush. I was terrified I’d disturb her. The third or fourth time I smelled a bad smell. Like something spoiled or rotten. The fifth time I turned on the light. The toilet bowl was filled with blood. And lumps of stringy fibers. Like liver. Pieces of raw liver. From the butcher. I was so sleepy. The doctor had given me something to sleep. Why was liver coming out of me? And this awful smell? I went back to her bed. I had to go to the toilet again. And again. By morning I must have been close to death. She demanded her tea in bed. I pulled myself to the kitchen. I fell on the floor in a heap. What must have saved me was the kettle whistling. I couldn’t reach up to turn it off. Where’s my tea? What’s wrong with you, girl? You can’t even make my tea. I woke up in a hospital. I’d had a miscarriage. So you see how much I wanted you. Can’t you? Can’t you see how much I want you? (
Clutching
ALEXANDER
physically.
)

ALEXANDER:
Momma, don’t. I’m beginning to feel really unhappy.

RENA:
Can’t you see?

ALEXANDER:
(
Breaking away from her.
) It comes out of nowhere.

NED:
I get scared.

RENA:
Can’t you see?

(
ALEXANDER
runs away from her.
RENA
has no arms to go to but NED’s; he accepts her reluctantly.
)

NED:
Don’t cry, Momma. (
In
ALEXANDER’
s direction.
) Come back!

RENA:
(
Clutching
NED.
) You’re leaving me. What am I supposed to do?

(
BENJAMIN
enters; he doesn’t like what he sees.
RENA
quickly relinquishes
NED.
)

BENJAMIN:
Hi, Mom.

RENA:
I made your favorites. Remember when you were captain of the football team and drank three quarts of milk every meal?

BENJAMIN:
I’m not on any team anymore. (
To
ALEXANDER.
) Lemon, come help me.

(
BENJAMIN
and
ALEXANDER
go off.
NED
returns to bed; he’s not feeling well. Several yellow lights go on. The soft bell rings. He presses his buzzer.
)

RENA:
(
Alone.
) Aren’t you glad to see me?

(
RENA
sits on the swing. After a moment,
RICHARD
enters.
)

RENA:
Your other son has arrived.

RICHARD:
I hate using everyone’s toilet.

RENA:
Year after year, you’re the one who insists on coming back here to Mrs. Pennington’s. We could go to that place in New Hampshire Manny and Teresa rave about. You even told me to send for a brochure. I’ve never been to Europe.

RICHARD:
I’ve been to Europe. Leon and I tried to find where Pop was born. We couldn’t find it. I like it here. Except for the toilet. (
Angry.
) We can’t afford Europe, for Christ’s sake!

RENA:
I can dream! Let’s have a nice time.

RICHARD:
I didn’t come here not to have a nice time. Why couldn’t he have turned out like Ben?

RENA:
You want another Ben? A son who never comes home. Who never writes except when he wants something. This is the first time the family has been together in years. I should’ve bought flowers. I wonder why he’s come.

RICHARD:
Come here.

RENA:
What do you want?

RICHARD:
(
As she sits beside him.
) You’re a good egg. It hasn’t been easy for you.

RENA:
Why are you talking like this all of a sudden?

RICHARD:
I’m just trying to be nice.

RENA:
I don’t even recognize it anymore.

RICHARD:
You wanted more.

RENA:
Everybody wants more.

RICHARD:
I’ve always been crazy about you.

RENA:
What’s wrong with wanting more?

(
NED
presses the buzzer more urgently.
)

RICHARD:
Things will be better soon. Four more years and we’ll have nothing to spend money on but ourselves.

RENA:
Just the two of us again.

RICHARD:
It will be better. We’ll move back here for good.

RENA:
You’ve never stopped loving me for one minute, have you?

RICHARD:
No, Mommy, I haven’t. And I never shall.

RENA:
Richard, they’re both gone now. I want to go out on my own now, too.

RICHARD:
Don’t start those dumb, stupid, asinine threats one more time!

(
BENJAMIN
and
ALEXANDER
enter, carrying a tennis racket, books, a suitcase.
)

BENJAMIN:
You could show a little more enthusiasm.

ALEXANDER:
(
Offering his hand.
) Congratulations, Benjamin. I hope you’ll be very happy.

(
But
BENJAMIN’
s hands are full.
)

RICHARD:
Hey, son!

BENJAMIN:
Who won?

RICHARD:
We slaughtered you. Yankees ten, Red Sox two.

BENJAMIN:
We’re still ahead in the series.

(
HANNIMAN
runs in.
)

NED:
I’m boiling! I feel like I’m going to explode!

(
She feels him, then quickly checks the monitoring devices.
)

RENA:
(
Trying to kiss
BENJAMIN
hello.
) Tell me all about Yale. I want to know everything so I can be proud. What’s your thesis on?

BENJAMIN:
Ma, I’ve told you a dozen times.

RENA:
Tell me again.

ALEXANDER:
Twentieth Century Negro Poets.

(
HANNIMAN
leaves quickly.
)

RENA:
Isn’t that fascinating.

RICHARD:
Studying all that literature stuff is crap!

RENA:
Don’t be such a philistine!

BENJAMIN:
It’s my money and my education and my life.

(
HANNIMAN
returns with
DR. DELLA VIDA. NED
begins to convulse slightly.
)

TONY:
(
Checking the computer, then
NED
.) He’s going into shock! (
Turns off the machinery.
)

(
HANNIMAN
hands him a huge syringe, which be injects into
NED’
s groin or neck.
)

ALEXANDER:
Benjamin doesn’t want to go to law school. He wants to be a teacher or a writer. He wants to help people. Ned, what are they doing to you?

BENJAMIN:
I’ll be all right, Lemon. Law is helping people, too.

ALEXANDER:
That’s not what you told me! Ned, what’s wrong? Why aren’t you answering?

RICHARD:
(
To
BENJAMIN.
) Listen, mister smart ass big guy, don’t make it sound like such a holy sacrifice! I got you this far. I got both of you this far. I got all of us this far.