The Notes (40 page)

I
f you get up earlier in the morning than your neighbor—work harder—scheme more & stick to the job more closer—stay up later planning to get ahead—you’ll leave more money when you die & you’ll leave it a lot sooner.

B
athtub—invented in 1850—phone in 1875—for 25 years you could have a sit in the tub without having the phone ring.

A
fter a traffic accident, one woman rushed out of the crowd to lean over one of the victims. She was roughly pushed aside by a fellow who said “stay back—I’ve had a course in 1st aid.” The woman stood—watched the mans ministrations for a few mins. then tapped him on the shoulder—she said, “when you get to the part about calling the Dr.—I’m already here.”

A
bargain sale—where women fight for things that have been reduced in price because no one wanted them in the 1st place.

T
oday the average man lives 25 yrs. longer than he did a century ago—he has to—to get his taxes paid.

T
he good old days—took your horse to a blacksmith—he put shoes on it and didn’t tell you a dozen other things you ought to have done to it.

T
axpayers—that’s someone who doesn’t have to pass a civil service exam to work for the govt.

H
ousewife just has to reverse things these days—fill the shopping cart with money & put the groceries in her purse.

S
ome instead of trying to drown their troubles take them out and give them swimming lessons.

J
udge: “Your age madam?”—“30 years”—J: “You may have a hard time proving that”—“You’ll have a hard time proving that I’m not—the court house where my birth was registered burned down in 1920.”

M
an took his son to visit Cong.—Boy asked “who is that man at the platform?”—“Chaplain”—“Does he pray for the members?”—“No—when he goes into the house & sees the members—he prays for the country.”

R
ussian & Am. arguing about freedom. Am said “You don’t understand in my country I can walk up to the White House and go to the Pres. office, bang on his desk and say ‘Jerry Ford I don’t like the way you’re running my country.”—Russian: “I can do the same thing. I can go to the Kremlin walk up to Brezhnev, bang on his desk and say ‘I don’t like the way Jerry F. is running his country.’ ”