The Notes (38 page)

I
used to think I was poor. Then they tell me I was needy. They said I was being self defeating—I wasn’t needy—I was culturally deprived. Then they said deprived was a bad image—I was underprivileged. That became overused and I became disadvatanged. I still don’t have a dime but I do have a great vocabulary.

Y
ou’ll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully and lie about your age.

A
nyone who thinks he’s going to be happy and prosperous by letting govt. take care of him should take a good look at the Am. Indian.

S
aw a chimp—could sort photos of apes and humans. Humans on one pile—apes on the other. But every time she came to her own pic. she put in on the pile with the humans.

M
ama Bear to Papa Bear: This is positively my last year as a den mother.

W
e are already working a 4 day week—it just takes 5 or 6 to do it.

Y
ou don’t have to be awake nights to succeed—just stay awake days.

A
sweater—that’s something your kid wears when his mother feels chilly.

M
y son is studying Eng.—now he talks back with perfect diction.

P
olice sent out pics. of an escaped convict in 6 dif. poses—A small town constable sent wire . . . have captured 5 of them & on the trail of the 6th.

M
anaging ed. to cub reporter—“names are essential in every story” Cub handed in story—“Last night lightening struck a barn n.w. of town—3 cows were killed—Rosie, Isabel & Mabel.”

P
ilot to control tower—“I’m coming in please give me landing instructions”—tower to pilot—“why are you yelling so loud?”—Pilot—“I don’t have a radio.”

A
dolescence is the time when children suddenly feel responsible for answering the phone.