The Outlaw Takes A Bride (The Burnett Brides) (19 page)

“Are you feeling better since the accident?” Tucker inquired.

“I’m healing. The shoulder is still tender, but it’s better.”

This was the man she was going to marry, and so far they had barely spoken, let alone touch one another. Though she hadn’t expected much; after all, they had just met. But it was almost as if Tucker were holding back. She sensed reluctance from him and didn’t know if it concerned her or something else.

“How long have you been the marshal?” she asked, trying to make small talk, knowing she must get to know this man. Aware that she had left Georgia with no expectation of anything more than someone to take care of her, she hoped that with marriage would come the feelings a wife has for her husband. But suddenly that didn’t seem enough, and she realized she could blame Tanner for awakening these feelings that were demanding fulfillment.

“About two years,” he said, and glanced at her in the darkness. “Before that I spent some time in Tombstone.”

“Do you enjoy your work?” she asked.

“Very much,” he acknowledged.

He took the last drag on his cigarillo, threw it on the porch, and ground it beneath his boot heel. When he was done, he walked across the wooden porch, his boots ringing soundly against the floor, and sat down next to her on the swing. He slid away from her, and she wondered suddenly if she should ever have come here or simply stayed in Georgia.

“So why did you leave Georgia?” he asked.

“As I said in my letter, there was nothing left for me after the war. I lost the plantation to taxes, my parents died, and I thought it was time for a new beginning. I wanted a new start in life, so here I am,” she said, his nearness not eliciting any special emotions, only a deep sense of sadness about the ugly choices she’d been forced to make in life.

“What about you?” she asked. “Why have you never married?”

He shrugged. “Never had a reason to. Besides, I’m not one for staying in one place long.”

He kicked at the floor with the toe of his boot. “So why’s a pretty lady like yourself a mail-order bride? You must have had a dozen or more beaus or lost loves? Surely one of them asked you to marry him.”

Beth gazed into his eyes in the silver moonlight and swallowed. No, there had never been the chance to fall in love with anyone. The war had broken out the year of her debut, and after that there had been the general.

And then there was Tanner.

She pushed the thought out of her mind. This man was her future; he had to be her focus.

“No. No lost loves. The war took care of any beaus.”

For a moment the air was tense between them as they sat there in silence. Beth didn’t know what else needed to be said. They would have a lifetime to find out about one another. A shiver passed through her at the thought.

Was she making a mistake? Could she learn to love this man, sleep with him and bear his children?

“Huh, your family seems nice. I enjoyed watching Travis and Rose at dinner tonight,” she said, wanting to change the direction of the conversation and her thoughts.

Actually, she’d almost felt jealous to see the love they so easily expressed for one another.

He laughed. “Someday we’ll have to tell you about their courtship. It was rather rocky, but in the end they managed to get together, though we lost a bam before they settled their differences.”

“Your mother was so happy to see Tanner. It was nice to see such a happy reunion.”

The reunion had been happy, but what if Tucker knew what she had done with his brother? She would cause a rift between the brothers that would be difficult to heal.

“God, I tried to convince Mother he was dead after all these years, but here he is. It’s hard to believe he was alive and we never knew it.”

“How long has it been?”

“Close to eleven years ago he snuck off to join the army. Travis and I, we envied him for his courage to just take off. We wanted to go fight so bad but our father said it was a senseless battle and refused to let us go. Tanner had run off to join, but I couldn’t leave without saying good-bye after watching Mother grieve and worry over Tanner. And Travis—well, he’s always loved this ranch more than anything else. He wanted to go, but not bad enough to leave the ranch.”

“Hmm, in Georgia every family lost at least one person, if not several, to the war.”

She shivered from the cool night air, and Tucker glanced at her.

“Are you cold?” he asked.

“Just a little,” she said, suddenly feeling anxious. “You’ve had a long day, and you’re still not over that bullet wound. I better get you in the house.”

“It has been a long day, and I still tire very easily,” she said, glancing at Tucker and feeling the need to escape their sitting so close to one another. It felt awkward, and a brief moment of sadness almost overwhelmed her. It should have been Tanner sitting here beside her, not his brother.

She brushed the feeling aside. It was late, she was tired, and tomorrow morning the whole world would look better. Yet somehow she was suddenly very afraid that Tucker’s caresses could never eliminate the feelings and emotions his brother had stirred in her.

Tucker stood and pulled her from the swing, his hand gripping her small one in his. His hands were large and rough, just like his brother’s, but they weren’t the same. They didn’t leave her wanting and needy the way a single touch from Tanner did.

Tucker walked her to the door and opened the wooden portal. “Good night, Beth,” he said, ushering her inside.

“Good night,” she whispered, wishing she felt more and that she didn’t have this sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Wishing that Tanner were the brother she planned to wed.

***

The next morning found the sun just a faint blush on the eastern sky when Eugenia watched her troubled son come down the stairs, his eyes meeting hers in a surprised glance. The sensitive young boy had turned into a hardened man, his blue eyes cold and dangerous. Her mother’s instincts warned her that the man was troubled.

But she was determined he would feel the healing love of his family and find his rightful place in the world.

His face bore the ravages of a painful youth, his eyes much older than his twenty-seven years.

“Good morning,” he said awkwardly. “I didn’t expect anyone would be up just yet.”

She smiled. “You haven’t changed all that much, Tanner. Even as a boy, you were always the first one up in the morning. You’d wake your father and me by slamming the door as you went out.”

He glanced away as an anguished expression crossed his face. “Mother, I wish I could tell you that I’m that same boy, but I’m not.”

She shrugged and tried to put him at ease. “Boys grow into men. Men face choices that we can never prepare them for, which change them forever. But a mother’s love is for eternity.”

“I’d like to believe that was true, but—”

“It’s true, Tanner. No matter what, I still love you.” He stepped into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee, not saying a word. His back was to her. “Tell me about Papa. What happened?”

Eugenia watched the son that she had always known was the most vulnerable of her three boys. He was the one that lovingly took care of a wounded bird, who bottle-fed an orphaned calf, who sobbed and insisted on a funeral for his pet rabbit. Of all her boys, he was the one she had known would face the toughest road in growing up. He was the son least prepared for the rigors of combat, yet he was the only one who had gone off to fight in the War Between the States.

She took a deep breath. “Even though the doctor warned your father he was working too hard, he refused to slow down. His heart couldn’t take much more, but he worked right up until the day he collapsed.”

“What about Travis and Tucker? Weren’t they here to help?” Tanner questioned, his back still to his mother.

Eugenia sipped her coffee and tried to help Tanner understand. “The ranch was your father’s life. Travis was beside him working every day, but your father didn’t know the meaning of slow down.”

He finally turned around, walked to the table, and sat down beside her. “Where was Tucker?”

“Tucker spent some time sowing his own wild oats.

Of the three of you, he’s the least interested in working the ranch. And once again your father would not have listened to Tucker any more than the rest of you,” Eugenia said matter-of-factly.

Tanner gripped his coffee cup until his knuckles turned white, his head bent low. “I should have been here.”

“Why? He wouldn’t have listened to you any more than he listened to Travis or me.” She took a sip of coffee. “Besides, you were out finding your way in the world. I’m just grateful you finally found your way home.”

Tanner turned and gazed at his mother. “Maybe so, but I could have said good-bye.”

“Yes, that would have been nice, but it didn’t happen.” They sipped on their coffee, the silence of the house broken only by the ticking of the clock.

“So why didn’t you believe I was dead?”

“I just didn’t. Mother’s instinct, I guess—but there was no proof. Once the war was over, I didn’t know where to turn to for help.” Eugenia stared at her son. His stubbornness was so much like hers, but his quiet, observant ways reminded her of his father. “We were so scared that you were dead, but there was no evidence, no body. I refused to believe you had been killed until someone could prove it to me. And no one could. Finally, I hired an investigator, though he was of little help.”

Tanner reached out to touch her. “I never meant to hurt you, Mother.”

Eugenia patted his big man’s hand with her own, remembering how she used to hold his small boy’s clasp. This big, tough, dangerous-looking son of hers still hid a heart that was sensitive and loving. “I know you didn’t. I’d really like to know where you’ve been these last ten years just so I could understand why you didn’t come home.”

Tanner stared at her. “The less you know about what my life has been like, the better. It’s for the best if we just keep everything to the present.”

Eugenia stared at him, fear causing her to shiver in the predawn light.

“As long as you understand that regardless of the past, I love you. You’re my son.”

He reached out and wrapped his arm around her and hugged her neck to his. “Thank you, Mother. It’s not been an easy ten years.”

“Will you tell me at least if you’re married? Do you have any children?”

“There’s no one, Mother. I’m alone.” He paused, his voice halting. “I’m . . . sorry ... for not contacting you before now. I was afraid . . . afraid that Father wouldn’t welcome me back.”

Tanner released Eugenia and sat back in his chair. He had always been so quiet, albeit sincere, when he spoke, which was completely opposite of what was expected from the man. The dangerous man who wore his guns like a professional, who was hardened and nervous, still spoke like the boy from long ago.

“Your father watched and waited for you right up to the day he died. He knew the two of you were at odds over the war, but he never thought you would actually run off to enlist. Tanner, I know he prayed for your safe return every night.”

Tanner’s face was a mixture of pain and sadness as he shook his head. “I was an idiot for fighting a war that could not be won. I’ve seen things and done things—” Eugenia clasped her hands on top of his large leathery fingers. “Some lessons can only be learned through experience, and I think this was one you had to suffer through.”

“You’re right, Mother.”

As if he had suddenly told her too much, he removed his hands from hers and picked up his coffee cup and took a sip. Slowly, he sat the cup down, taking a calming breath before he turned back to her.

“So what about Travis and Tucker. They’ve told me a little bit about themselves, but I’d like to hear your version.”

She laughed, easing the atmosphere and enjoying her time alone with this son that she loved desperately. “Travis has followed in the ways of your father. He’s stubborn to a fault, and I had to trick him to get him married. But now I think he’s found a woman who will help him see that there is more to life besides this ranch. And he loves Rose so much.”

“She’s different. Not at all the kind of woman I expected Travis would marry.”

“Yes, she’s exactly who your brother needs. I can only hope that there will be grandchildren soon.”

“And what about Tucker? He’s the marshal?”

“Tucker left when he was eighteen, determined to make his own way in the world. He’s always been a good shot, but he soon found he could outshoot just about anyone. He did all right until about three years ago in Tombstone, where he was almost killed. After that he came home to Texas, and now he’s settled down, changed.”

Tanner listened to his mother, nodding his head occasionally at her words. “My baby brother is the marshal. Great, just great.”

Eugenia glanced at her son, confused by his sarcasm. “It is great, Tanner. It’s the perfect job for Tucker.”

He just shook his head.

“Now Beth has come. Soon she and Tucker will be married.”

“Yeah.”

“You’ll be next, Tanner. We’ll have to find you a nice girl to help you settle down.”