The P.J. Stone Gates Trilogy (#1-3) (94 page)

I peered at my own reflection tentatively over Jenna’s much smaller one. She stood front and center in the mirror, staring at herself with wide eyes.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her without meeting her dark gaze. I was currently fussing with the ringlets of white hair that cascaded down my back. The style was beautiful, if only I didn’t have white hair.

“Do you think I’m making a mistake?” Jenna’s voice came out small and uncertain with a slight waver to it.

I immediately let my eyes drop to take in her appearance. Her lime green hair was pinned up loosely with curls framing her heart shaped face. Black butterfly accents were artfully scattered throughout her tresses. Her makeup was neutral and yet accented her deep brown eyes and features masterfully. Lulu and Trish had out done themselves without question. “Jenna, you look absolutely beautiful. You didn’t make a mistake about your hair. I told you that already. And your dress is amazing too.” I smiled reassuringly at her. I meant it. She was stunning. Her dress was a strapless cream-colored mermaid gown. It hugged her ample curves to perfection. Just the right amount of sequins adorned the custom creation, and black and lime green butterflies were woven into the fabric around the skirt. Everything was so perfectly … Jenna.

“No, not all of this.” She waved her arms in a slightly panicked motion as she turned to face me. “I’m talking about marrying Jeremy.”

It seemed for a moment I had discovered more butterflies, and they were currently doing the samba in my stomach. But then I realized it was my chance to be there for Jenna like she always had been for me and my screwed up love life. “You love him.” It wasn’t a question. I saw the way Jenna looked at Jeremy. I wasn’t clear on all the internal mechanisms of their relationship, but that much I knew.

Jenna nodded slowly. “Yeah, I do.”

“So you’re just having normal wedding day anxieties.”

Jenna smoothed her hands over her dress nervously. “How do I know that’s all it is?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me what you’re worried about?”

Jenna only paused for a moment before her concerns came flying out of her mouth like verbal diarrhea. “What if he gets bored with me? What if I get bored with him? What if he just changes his mind? Or what if I do? What if he realizes I’m not worth it—what if—”

“Whoa—whoa—whoa—whoa—whooooaaaa.” I said as I waved my hands in front of her to cut her off. “Those are a lot of worries.” I bit the inside of my cheek and tried not to smile. “But you’ve come to the right place, over-thinking such things happens to be my specialty.”

Jenna rolled her eyes. “You’re telling me.”

“Hey,” I mock scowled. “Don’t mock the person who’s about to help you.” Jenna just grunted in response so I continued on. “What do you love about Jeremy? And this is serious—no stupid sex jokes.”

Jenna moved over to the love seat in her room and sat very carefully on the edge. She began studying her hands as she spoke. “I love how he makes me feel.” She glanced up at me briefly and I nodded with encouragement. “He knows all about my past—all the guys—and he still thinks I’m special. And I know it sounds really selfish—like it’s all about me—but he makes me want to be a better person—for him. I mean I don’t think that’s selfish—to want to do everything for him. I want to make him proud. And I never thought I’d meet someone who seems to know me better than I know myself. It’s like we’re connected even when we’re not together. And the sex—”

“Jenna.” I grumbled in warning.

She chuckled softly. “I’m not going to make a joke about it. I was just going to say how amazing we are together. It’s like it’s more than sex. It’s like we have this emotional connection. And maybe you don’t know the difference because you haven’t slutted around like I have—but I’m afraid to lose it. What if I lose it? I can’t lose him … ” Her voice trailed off and she dabbed at the corners of her eyes to prevent the tears from escaping and ruining her makeup.

“Oh, Jenna.” I said as a bent to hug her. “You won’t. That kind of love just doesn’t go away.”

“But it did for you—with Bryn.” Jenna whispered.

I pulled away from her carefully so I wouldn’t mess up her hair or makeup. “It’s not the same at all for you and Jeremy. And besides Khol—”

“What if I’m Jeremy’s Bryn?”

Oh. Now I fully understood what Jenna was trying to say. What if Jeremy had a Khol—someone he was meant to be with over her? What could I say to reassure her? “Jenna, I can’t promise you a happily ever after, but I can promise you that there’s no point in worrying about any of this. What’s meant to be will be. I’m proof of that. Don’t be stupid and walk away from Jeremy like Bryn did from me. If you love Jeremy, fight for him and hold on with everything you have. Life is too short not to.”

“For us humans anyways.” Jenna mumbled. But I took it as a good sign since she was attempting to joke a little.

She then stood abruptly and met my gaze head on with confidence. “You’re right. Lets do this. I’m getting married!” She grinned, all traces of trepidation completely gone from her continence.

I grinned back at her. “Yay! You’re getting married to the love of your life!” I allowed myself one last look at myself in the mirror and I reached up to straighten the lime green long flowing dress that Jenna had picked out for me. I guess I didn’t look that bad. And besides, even if I did, it wasn’t my day.

The music swelled and humans and dragons alike stood to watch Jenna march down the aisle to marry the love of her very young life … Jeremy. Shirking tradition, Jenna had asked me to give her away. She had claimed it was the only fitting option with both of her parents being gone. I had happily accepted. Jenna and I had been through so much together, with her often being the one supporting me. But no more, I would spend the rest of her life doing whatever I could making up for all that she’d done for me.

Jenna clutched at my arm with the hand not holding her cream, lime green and black accented bouquet. I had to resist the urge to tell her to loosen her grip before she cut off all circulation in my forearm. I smiled tightly through the pain and walked slowly, taking in the details of everything around us. The beauty in the wedding relied mostly on the setting, but of course that’s why Jenna had wanted to get married on Khol’s land. White wooden chairs sat perfectly lined on what could have passed for green carpet. The trees and flowers were in full blossom and Jeremy stood waiting with Khol by his side under a trellis, which was decorated with some kind of white gossamer material.

Things were perfect, or just the way Jenna had imagined if the return to the flow of blood in my arm was any sign. I grinned when I spotted Jeremy in his black tux with lime green accents as he ate up Jenna with a hungry gaze. But my eyes were for Khol only. A small part of me imagined it was me walking down the aisle to meet Khol for our own “I dos”. It was something until that very moment I hadn’t thought I’d needed or wanted. Would Khol want to marry me in the traditional sense? I mean, we were already
Anam Caras
, what more did I need for everyone to know we belonged to each other?

My inner musings were interrupted when Jenna and I came to our destination. I dutifully handed her over to Jeremy and took my place to the left of Jenna. As the Gold Dragon priestess began the ceremony my attention wandered to Liam who was sleeping peacefully in Morag’s arms in his tiny color coordinated suit, which ‘Aunty Jenna’ had insisted he wear. I had to admit the lime green accents looked striking with his shock of red hair and pale skin. My eyes then were drawn back to Khol, who was staring at me with a small smile on his face. I shook my head ruefully at him and turned my focus back on Jenna and Jeremy just as they kissed. I began to clap with everyone else and silently thanked the heavens that it hadn’t been one of those long drawn out ceremonies.

Jenna and Jeremy practically ran down the aisle towards the castle. Their poor photographer, who was a Black Dragon, was frantically trying to get some good shots. But Jeremy and Jenna seemed to have other plans, and I had a feeling that they were going to try and get some alone time in before the reception. Okay, it was more than a feeling since they had headed in the opposite direction of the massive tent set up for the reception. I couldn’t help but laugh. Jenna would always be Jenna, and I loved her for that.

Khol laced his fingers with mine and leaned down to whisper in my ear as the photographer turned to take pictures of us since he’d apparently given up on Jeremy and Jenna for the moment. “I wouldn’t mind a few minutes alone with you before the festivities begin.”

I smiled up at him, liking where his mind was. “I guess Morag can watch Liam for a little while longer.”

“My thoughts exactly.” Khol said as he nipped at my ear and shifted us back to our room.

A few hours later I sat at the reception table next to Khol holding a sleeping Liam. Weren’t babies supposed to cause more drama? Liam hardly ever cried and was so sweet. If he kept this up Khol might just be able to talk me into more children.

I let my gaze wander over to Jenna and Jeremy on the dance floor. They were slow dancing to a fast song and Jenna was practically draped on Jeremy, but he never looked happier. Jenna’s wedding had actually gone smoothly, and the decorations were beautiful and yet oh so Jenna at the same time. Their cake was even adorned with lime green … it was five layers … white with a black pattern and of course like I said with lime green accents. Jeremy and Jenna had dutifully smashed pieces of said cake into each other’s faces.

Over all the day had been amazing and I had even shed a little sappy tear when Jeremy and Jenna were announced as man and wife when they entered the reception. But I was exhausted and waiting for what seemed like an appropriate time to leave. If the wedding had been bigger I maybe would have been able to sneak off without Jenna noticing but I knew it was important that I stay since most of the guests where technically strangers to her. The majority of the crowd was made up of dragons invited to join in the celebration and they basically came because I had invited them, and I was their Queen. Everyone did seem to be having a good time though.

The next morning Jeremy and Jenna would be leaving for their honeymoon in the newly Rider free world, and I thought that was a wonderful wedding gift.

Everything seemed so settled, so perfect … so why couldn’t I shake the foreboding feeling that kept snaking its way into my mind? I kept telling myself to forget it, to let it go … to just be happy … but I finally realized as I watched Jeremy lean down to whisper something in Jenna’s ear that made her giggle … that I couldn’t.