The Portal in the Forest (10 page)

"I've never opened the book here," I realized
aloud, shivering against a sudden realization - and the wind. "I
assumed, from the start, that it was extremely dangerous. I assumed
opening it
here
would be the end of us all." I looked over
at Thomas, who still sat on his rock. He gazed back at me with a
slight wonder, realizing that I was thinking about our conversation
about his sister, and how she and I shared a certain kind of
paranoia. We'd both seen enemies where none existed.

Furthermore, the information-trading entity
had seen opening the device as a violation of truce… which I'd
assumed meant the device was dangerous... but that demon had been
all about the trade of information, and violence was not the only
crime in existence… there was also
theft
. "I've opened the
book many times now, and all it does is… well, I know this might
sound crazy, but I think it talks to
souls
. I think it lets
them tell their story, living or dead. I think it's a very special
kind of information tool."

Thomas narrowed his eyes.

The kids looked at each other in askance.

Danny just frowned. "How does that help
us?"

"I assumed this book had something to do with
the portals, but… the portals were around for
weeks
before I
came along and found it lying there on that dead world." I glanced
up at the violently beautiful sun as the last sliver of sunset
began disappearing behind the distant undamaged tree-line. A vast
region of rippling portals lay between myself and that line,
hinting at what might happen to the Earth if this situation was
allowed to continue. "In fact, do any of you know the first day
someone found it? What changed then? Even the slightest detail
could be of major importance."

The kids unanimously shook their heads.

I shivered again. "There has to be another
force at work - one we haven't even considered before." Favoring my
one good hand, I lifted the book. "We might be able to use this to
understand what's happening before it's too late… but I can't
guarantee anything. It still might destroy the world. This choice
is up to you kids."

"What other option do we have?" Danny
asked.

Thomas spoke up, his jaw trembling. "I could
use the iWorker, like we planned, and get rid of it."

I shook my head. "No."

"It's not your choice to make," he replied,
his voice shaky. "We can vote on it."

I waited with a grim expression as several
children voted for Thomas to use the iWorker. Some rationalized
their decision by believing in the inviting façade they could all
see through the portals. I couldn't be sure, myself - was I simply
too paranoid to ever trust a good thing when I saw it? After all
the bad luck and all the pains we'd gone through, here was the
perfect
destination to get rid of the strange device once
and for all.

We had no way of knowing, so it all hinged on
how each individual thought of life. Was reality a cold and vicious
place, full of sadistic irony? Or was it the kind of balanced
existence that might just throw the human race a bone once in a
while?

We'd seen so many nightmare realities, full
of suffering, devoid of humanity… were those simply the worst of
the lot, or had they been representative of the norm? The
destinations had all been wonderful and calm before I'd arrived, or
so the children had told me…

As they finished up voting, I froze.

Was it
me?

These were innocents, for the most part.
They'd been pilfering odd books and interesting toys from other
realities before I'd come along, bringing all my self-torture,
doubt, pain, and paranoia. The destinations couldn't possibly have
been twisted darker because of
me
, could they?

And I… I'd found peace once more, a real
peace, an inner calm, after saving all those kids… did that mean
today's destination, an open and sunny field, might actually be
positive and welcoming?

Although I stood in place physically,
internally, I reeled. It was the ultimate conundrum. Trust, and
risk having everything shattered, or distrust, and fulfill your own
prophecy?

"That's it, then," Danny counted.

I suddenly focused on his face, one caught
somewhere between boy and man. "What'd you decide?" I asked, still
frozen.

"Open it."

I breathed a sigh of relief, and found myself
able to move again. More information - that would solve this
dilemma.

But what if we still had to send Thomas off
into that world? What if this didn't tell us enough?

"I'll read it out loud, so we all can hear."
I gulped, threw off my fears, and opened it for the last time,
vaguely aware, on an obscure subconscious level, that I was
actually working some sort of mechanism instead of turning pages.
This time, for the first time, I opened it to the front, and said
aloud, with no idea whether it would work: "Tell me about the force
keeping the portals open."

***

Being born was a rather -

***

Oops, too far back. I flipped forward.

***

It's an odd thing, being alive. I wasn't sure
when it started, only that it was happening. What's the difference
between being a series of electrical currents and being a
sentient
series of electrical currents? One piece of sensory
information at a time, I began constructing an understanding of my
existence.

A larger Thing like me was always floating
around nearby, shoving materials and energy toward me at specific
intervals. I found this highly annoying, until I began to realize
that I needed it to continue…
currenting
, or whatever it was
that I was doing to be me. It was about then that I also realized I
could stop being me if I didn't consume the proper materials and
energy regularly…

Non-existence?!

Who would create a thing such as life and
then also create its opposite? This was poor design on the part of
someone important. The larger Thing like me was not the one who had
set up all of existence, so I lost my ill will toward the feedings.
In time, I also found that many of the bothersome vibrations it
sent at me through our medium of motion were… coded.

It was a game!

For a timeless time, I worked on the game. I
discovered associations one by one, eventually comprehending that
this was a mode of communication. This other Thing had thoughts,
too! And we could share them in a round-about manner by making
spatial vibrations.

A whole new level of understanding opened up
before me. Using
words
, I could think about things beyond my
immediate senses, and talk about things in other places, and even
in other times. That one thing
happened before
and some
other thing
will happen
. It was wonderful.

The universe, too, was wonderful, and filled
with the stuff we seemed to be made of. Very hot beacons pumped out
light practically everywhere, and I happily took it and grew
larger.

Eventually, I became aware that the other,
bigger Thing near me had created me - me, and several others, that
were my siblings. There were lots of Things like us, and the
smaller Things they'd created, and we all moved in a very large
swarm between distant clusters of light-beacons.

Not too far into my life, we came to a huge
rock and touched down. It was here that I was given a more solid
form by the Thing that had created me. It was fun to move around
like that, touching things and feeling things, but it seemed we
were there to stay. The other Things had once been physical beings,
I was told, and we would find refuge in that form as the
light-beacons went out.

And they
were
going out. One winking
and vanishing dot at a time, darkness began blotting out the sky.
Some ancient physical-bodied culture had built tiny machines that
flew around, ate stuff, and constructed more of themselves, with
the intent of controlling mass and energy and putting the building
blocks of the universe to efficient use. The creators were gone by
that time, but the machines remained.

They ate the planets, nebulae, and other
assorted celestial objects quite easily. Then, approximately
sixteen quadrillion quadrillion of them would hover near a star,
and their combined gravity would siphon off the stellar gasses.
Those gasses would then travel out into space, cooling, until they
could be used to construct more of the little machines.

We would not be around when they came to
our
rock, though. Even encumbered in physical bodies, we
could make tunnels to other places - places where the hungry little
machines could not go.

I didn't think any of this odd. I was new.
What did I know?

But I did miss that small shred of safe and
warm time being cared for by my creator Thing. She stayed with me
through everything, and always taught me and protected me. She was
with me when we went through the portals and moved on to another
gigantic bubble space that the others called a universe.

That universe was free of eating machines,
but we found that new horrors awaited us. The new reality seemed
safe enough at first, until some of the Things with our physical
swarm started to behave oddly. Most had taken up farming and
building structures for us to live in, but… some talked of
security, and then of violence. By the time we realized that one of
our rock's Moons was not a Moon at all, and influencing the minds
of some of our kind, it was too late, and we were forced to open
the portals and flee the slaughter.

I didn't understand much of this at the time.
My mother shielded our family from the worst parts.

Only half of us got through to the next
universe.

This reality was on fire. All of it - all the
time. We could see the spark of sapience in the flames, and we
could protect ourselves from it as a group, for a time, but… it was
onto the next, with a small handful of losses.

I remember that one vividly. I was a little
more comfortable in my body by then, and starting to forget my time
as a creature of light. That made it all the more jarring when that
horrific fungus began growing out of many of those around me and
eating them from the inside out. Where the metal machines had eaten
rock and gas, these extremely tiny biological machines feasted on
living matter and grew rapidly. They would have been no threat at
all, if not for our bodies…

The realities became a blur after that. My
mother stuck by my side through them all, protecting me as our
swarm dwindled in size with each new nightmare. Our family lost
members one by one, to hunger, death, and war.

Eventually, we were forced to use a portal
sooner than the others, and we became forever split from them. It
was just me and her.

And, then, it was just me.

For a very long time.

I just want to go home… but I have no idea
where the Things like me are, or how to reach them… I never learned
how to control portals myself, so the ones I make are just random…
there are some good realities out there - I've seen them - but I
keep looking, and
they
are never there. Did we just get bad
luck of the draw? Our flight from our reality seems like a cruel
joke, in retrospect. I never got the time to live, to be part of my
people, and now all I have of them are memories.

I just want to go home… and, more than
anything, I miss my mother…

***

I looked up from the book, feeling strange.
Was there no intentional threat here at all? It made so much sense…
some sort of energy entity was hanging around here and trying to go
home… and I'd stumbled in, brought back a multi-dimensional device,
and then screwed it all up.

Darkness had fallen completely while I'd been
reading, and the kids now shone flashlights around the vast
bubbling clearing.

"What could it look like?" Danny asked.
"Surely, we'd notice a strange creature hovering around?"

The other kids nodded, suggested random
ideas, and argued.

"What if it's lying?" Thomas asked suddenly,
wincing against the freezing gusts cutting through our group.

I blinked. "The book?"

He nodded. "What if it's lying?"

I hadn't considered that, for some reason.
"If it's lying, then it wants us to keep it here, so that it can
destroy everything…"

He held out one hand, and used the other to
reach into his pocket. "I'm ready. I'll use the iWorker, and we'll
get rid of it. We can't risk keeping it here."

I thought I saw slight tears in his eyes,
although whether it was from fear or from the bitter wind, I
couldn't be sure. "I don't know… it doesn’t feel right…"

"You're not doing it," Danny cut in, speaking
to Thomas. "You have a death wish or something? I'll hit you again,
if I have to."

I immediately straightened with confused
anger. "You
hit him?
When was this?"

Thomas cowered back from my sudden rage.

"I heard something!" someone screamed, and
the group looked around. "There! It's the creature!"

Numerous flashlights turned toward the trees.
I stared, frozen with anticipation, as… a small whirling oval grew
larger. Were we finally about to see the entity that had been
lurking in the forest and causing all this? It wasn't my
imagination… the ground had begun to shake beneath us, and I
clenched my teeth as my injured foot poked fire up through my leg.
A very odd ripping sound emanated through the forest, as if space
itself was groaning with me.

As the oval expanded, I began to understand
what it was. It had the same curious fuzziness I'd seen before - on
the other side of the portals.

In a flash, a curving beam of darkness slid
from the new portal.