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Authors: Jerry Bridges

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SEEKING A GENTLE SPIRIT
I suspect that of all the character traits of godliness in this study, gentleness will be the least appealing to many male readers. For some reason we seem to have difficulty believing that manliness and gentleness can be part of the same personality Men often want to see gentleness in their mothers and wives, but not in themselves. The macho image of the nonChristian male world has a tendency to rub off, even on us. But the apostle Paul uses the example of a mother’s gentleness to describe his own character. He was able to say to the Thessalonian believers, “We were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children.” A friend of mine, an ex-Marine, often signs his letters, “Keep tough and tender” —tough on ourselves and tender with others. That is the spirit of gentleness.
What are some steps we can take to develop a gentle spirit? First we must decide that this is a trait we really do want to develop. We have to decide that we want to be mild and sensitive in our dealings with others, that we are willing to live without a rigid structure of black-and-white rules. We have to decide if we really want to care about people.
Second, we can ask those who know us best and will be honest how we come across to other people. Are we dogmatic and opinionated, blunt and abrupt? Do we seek to intimidate or dominate others by the sheer force of our personality? Do people feel ill at ease in our presence because they think we are silently judging their weaknesses and correcting their faults? If any of these traits are characteristic of us, we must face them honestly and humbly.
As we face our overall need, we should also ask the Holy Spirit to make us aware of specific situations in which we fail to act with gentleness or considerateness. It is not enough to concede in a vague sort of way that we may be lacking in this godly virtue. We need to identify specific instances in which we fall short. Only then will we be driven to pray fervently for the grace of gentleness. And, as always, we ought to memorize one or more passages of Scripture on this topic. I suggest you quickly scan back over this chapter and select at least one Scripture reference to memorize for future meditation. Then put this need on your private prayer list, and pray that God will so work in your life that by His power you will demonstrate the fruit of gentleness.
NOTES
1
Bethune,
The Fruit
of the Spirit, page 100.

 

2
Billy Graham, The Holy Spirit (Waco, Tex.: Word Books, 1978), pages 205-206.
3
William Hendriksen,
The Gospel of Matthew
(Grand Rapids, Mich.: Baker Book House, 1973), page 504.

 

4
William Hendriksen,
Exposition of Philippians
(Grand Rapids, Mich.: Baker Book House, 1962), page 193.
5
James Adamson, “The Epistle of James,” The New
International Commentary on the New Testament
(Grand Rapids, Mich.: Eerdmans, 1976), page 155.

 

6
W. E. Vine, An
Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words,
page 474.
16
Kindness and Goodness
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.
Galatians 6:10

 

Kindness and goodness are so closely related that they are often used interchangeably. These two traits finish a natural progression in godly character: patience denotes a godly response to ill-treatment; gentleness defines a godly demeanor toward people at all times; kindness and goodness involve an active desire to recognize and meet the needs of others.
Kindness is a sincere desire for the happiness of others; goodness is the activity calculated to advance that happiness.
Kindness is the inner disposition, created by the Holy Spirit, that causes us to be sensitive to the needs of others, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual. Goodness is kindness in action—words and deeds. Because of this close relationship, we often use the two words interchangeably.
I tend to think of kindness in terms of our awareness of those around us and the thoughtfulness that we can express to them, almost incidentally. Kindness may be as simple as a smile to a store clerk, a thank-you to a waitress, an encouraging word to an elderly person, or a word of recognition to a small child. None of these expressions is costly in time or money But they do require a sincere interest in the happiness of those around us. Apart from God’s grace, most of us naturally tend to be concerned about our responsibilities,
our
problems,
our
plans. But the person who has grown in the grace of kindness has expanded his thinking outside of himself and his interests and has developed a genuine interest in the happiness and well-being of those around him.
Goodness, on the other hand, involves deliberate deeds that are helpful to others. Although the Bible uses the word good to refer to what is upright, honorable, and noble about our ethical or moral character, it also uses it to describe actions that are not only good in themselves, but beneficial to others.
Bethune well observes, “The best practical definition of goodness is given in the life and character of Jesus Christ: ‘Jesus of Nazareth, who went about doing good.’ [Acts 10:38] So far as we resemble Jesus, in his devotion to the welfare of men, do we possess the grace of goodness.”
1
Do we aspire to be Christlike? Then we must be continually sensitive to how we might meet the needs of those around us.
GOD’S UNFAILING KINDNESS
We need to constantly keep in mind that our goal in practicing godliness is to grow in both our devotion to God and our likeness to Him in character and conduct. The New Testament has much to say about the kindness of God. The first mention is in Luke 6: Jesus says that God “is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” Next we find that God’s kindness leads sinners toward repentance (Romans 2:4). In Ephesians 2:7, in the context of our utter lostness and sin, Paul speaks of the incomparable riches of God’s grace, expressed in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus. He draws a similar contrast in Titus 3: after describing our lost condition, he declares, “But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us....” It seems the Bible goes out of its way to portray the kindness of God in stark contrast to man’s total undeservedness.
What lesson can we draw from these accounts of the kindness of God? He is kind to all men—the ungrateful, the wicked, the utterly lost and hopeless, the rebellious—without distinction. If we are to become Godlike, we, too, must be kind to all men.
Our natural inclination is to show kindness only to those for whom we have some natural affinity—family, friends, likable neighbors. But God shows kindness to those who are most despicable—the ungrateful and wicked. Have you ever tried to be kind to someone who was ungrateful? Unless God’s grace was working in your heart in a significant way, your reaction to his ingratitude may well have been, “I’ll never do anything for him again!” But God doesn’t turn His back on the ungrateful. And so Jesus says to us, “But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back” (Luke 6:35).
We need to develop a kind disposition, to be sensitive to others and truly desire their happiness. But sensitivity alone is not enough: the grace of goodness impels us to take action to meet those needs.
CREATED TO DO GOOD
Most of us are familiar with Ephesians 2:8-9, which teaches that salvation is by grace, through faith, and not by works. But we should be just as familiar with the next verse: “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
This is an amazing statement. Not only are we created in Christ Jesus—born anew for the purpose of doing good works—but we are created to do good works that God
prepared in advance
for us to do. Before we came to know Christ, and, according to Psalm 139:16, before we were even born, God prepared certain good works for us to do.
The
New American Standard Bible
provides a more literal translation of verse 10: “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” The word
walk
suggests our common, everyday experience, not the unusual and heroic. We all have a tendency to rise to the special occasions of our lives, but God has created us to do our good works in the midst of the humdrum of daily living. Bethune quotes an earlier writer as saying, “much of the happiness of the world depends upon what are termed little things; and it is rare that God honors us with heroic and famous distinctions in doing good.”
2
Paul aptly illustrates the ordinariness of most good deeds in 1 Timothy 5:9-10. He says that in order for a widow to qualify for church assistance, she must be “well known for her
good
deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the saints, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of
good deeds.”
None of these items on Paul’s list is especially exciting or glamorous. They are simply opportunities to do good in the course of daily living. Although this particular passage applies specifically to women, the principle applies equally to men. Most of our opportunities for good deeds will arise out of the course of our daily lives. The challenge to us is to be alert for these opportunities and to see them not as interruptions or inconveniences, but as occasions for doing the good works God has planned for us.
DOING GOOD AT WORK
Perhaps one of the most obvious areas in which God has prepared good works for us to do is our life’s calling or vocation. The good works God has prepared for us individually are consistent with the abilities He has given us and the circumstances in which He has placed us. When there is something wrong with my car, and a qualified mechanic fixes it, that is a good deed, in my thinking. If he did it as a part of his calling before God and as a service to his fellowman, it is also a good deed in God’s sight, even though he was paid for his work.
Most honorable vocations exist to meet the needs of people. God has ordained His world so that people with various abilities meet various needs. We should think of our vocation, therefore, not as a necessary evil to pay the bills, nor even as an opportunity to become rich, but as the primary path of our Christian walk wherein God has planned good deeds for us to do. Most of us spend half or more of our waking hours at our vocations. If we fail to find opportunities to do good works there, we are throwing away half of our lives as far as fulfilling God’s purpose for us here on earth. If we feel our particular job does not allow us to genuinely meet the needs of people, we ought to prayerfully consider a change.
But let me be very clear at this point. I am talking about meeting the
ordinary
needs of people—for clothing, transportation, education, health care, and so on. I am not talking about changing jobs to go into so-called full-time Christian work. If God has called you to that, wonderful! But that is not the only arena of life in which God prepares good works for us.
Evaluate your work situation; if you are a student, consider the work you are thinking of pursuing. Does it lend itself to doing the good deeds God has planned for you? What about your attitude toward your job? Do you view the job as an opportunity to do many of the good deeds God has planned for you by meeting the needs of people, or do you view it as a necessary evil to earn the money you need? If we are to grow in the grace of goodness we must have the right attitude about our vocation.
Many women, of course, do not work outside the home and may wonder how this section on vocation applies to them. For those of you in this situation, homemaking is your vocation, and a rich arena in which to do those good deeds God has called you to do. Few things are more difficult than making a home and rearing children. The dishes, the diapers, the washing, the waxing, the cooking and cleaning may at times seem insignificant and distasteful; yet few, if any, vocations render greater benefits to those they serve than godly homemaking. You also may have greater opportunity for good deeds outside the home, such as ministering to the sick and lonely, providing hospitality, preparing meals for others, or caring for someone else’s children. Review 1 Timothy 5:10 to see how Paul expected homemakers to be involved in good deeds beyond their own families.
BOOK: The Practice of Godliness: Godliness has value for all things
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