The Prize (4 page)

“The same one?”

“Yes.”

“You realize the chances of him coming after you are slim to none, right?”

“I do, but it doesn’t change my anxiety.”

“We’ve talked about this many times. You knew this day would come. You have good friends,
a support system. Stay busy and keep your mind occupied. It will get easier with each
passing day.”

I tucked my lips in and held them between my teeth, not making eye contact with Dr.
Frost.

“You never told your friends, did you?”

I shook my head.

“Don’t you think you should?”

My life was divided into two parts—before and after Michael Swarth. And I had never
let the events of that single day leak into either half of my life.

She pressed on. “Are you seeing anyone?”

“No. I mean, not exactly.”

“What does that mean?” Dr. Frost leaned forward and set her elbows on her knees.

I shrugged. “I had a few…dates with a guy. No big deal. I’m not seeing him again.”

She sat back, grasping her chin with one hand. She knew me well. “Your decision or
his?”

“Mine.” I leaned my head back and stared at the ceiling, something I always did when
I wanted to avoid her gaze.

“What was wrong with this one?”

“Nothing. Or maybe everything.” I shifted in my seat, picturing Parker staring down
at me, a crooked grin on his face. He would get a good laugh out of knowing I was
discussing him with my therapist.

“Go on.”

We’d been through this many times. I knew the drill. I met her gaze. “The list is
long.” I held out a finger. “He lives in Charlotte, first off. Second, he’s rich.
Third, he’s a close friend of both my best friends’ significant others. And, he’s
a Dom.” I shuddered.

Her eyes widened. “That
is
a list. Rich, huh?” Of course she would ignore the mention of D/s and go straight
for the heart of the problem. I did not do rich guys. Ever.

“Freakishly rich. He and his partners own Alexander Technologies and two other companies
in Charlotte and Nashville. Edgewater Inc. and The Rockwood Group.”

“That
is
rich.” She hesitated. “But you like him.”

I shrugged. “Does it matter?”

“Of course it matters. At some point you’re going to have to let your guard down and
take a risk.”

“Well, technically I don’t
have
to. I could stay single instead.”

“Touché.” She chuckled. “But you like him,” she repeated.

“I never said I didn’t.”

“You wouldn’t have mentioned him in such detail if he weren’t a contender, though.”

She was right about that.

“Talk to me about his dominance.”

I inhaled slowly. “What can I say? He’s a Dom. His friends are also Doms. I’m not
a submissive.”

“Are you sure about that? Have you tried?”

I gritted my teeth. Oh, I had
so
tried. And it had been hot. Steaming hot.

“You know, it’s not for everyone, but there are a lot of people who enjoy a certain
level of dominance or submission. It can be freeing to turn yourself over to someone
else and let them be in charge of everything for a while. Especially someone who ordinarily
is in complete control of every aspect of their life.”

“Someone like me, you mean.” I smirked.

“Perhaps.”

“You sound like Parker.”

“Smart man, then.”

“No matter how you look at it, it doesn’t matter. The man owns a business in Charlotte.
I’m never stepping foot in that city again in this lifetime.”

“Do you seriously believe you’re safer anyplace else?”

“I’d rather be in Fiji, but since that isn’t practical…”

“At least you still have your humor.” She smiled warmly. “Okay, so back to the important
matter. What do you plan to do to keep your sanity?”

Chapter Six

You’re avoiding me
…

I smiled at Parker’s text and set my phone back on my desk.

I
was
avoiding him. No doubt about that. It made me feel good that he texted me one liners
every few days. Even though I had no intention of seeing him.

My phone buzzed again.

Come up for the weekend
.

My spine went rigid. That made things easy. I would never consent to that.

I needed to at least grow some balls and return his text.

I’m busy
.

You’re scared
, he responded.

He thought he knew so much.

Never
.

What I can’t figure out is what you’re scared of. Is it the lifestyle? Is it because
we connect on a level that frightens you? Or is it my breath? :)

I chuckled out loud.

You really should cut back on the garlic. I’m not a vampire.

There she is! Now, come up to Charlotte and play
.

Can’t. Told you. I’m busy
.

Organizing your sock drawer?

What makes you think my life is so simple?
That was almost more than I should have said, but it was out there now.

I’m not going to let this go.

I hope you like disappointment. :)

On the contrary. I love a challenge.

I admired his persistence. Too bad it was misdirected. Parker would make a fantastic
boyfriend for some wonderful woman someday. It just wouldn’t be me.

****

“I’ll get you for this… I will find you, you bitch, and you’ll be sorry.”

I jerked awake, my body soaked in sweat. As I gasped for oxygen, I rolled onto my
side, shivering. I took deep breaths and glanced around my room. I’d started leaving
all the lights on in the apartment five nights ago. It gave me a sense of peace. It
didn’t stop the nightmares.

I leaned over to the side of my bed and tugged my nightstand drawer open. My Glock
sat right where it always did. No matter how many times I checked to make sure, it
was still in the same place. At some point in the last week, I’d developed a new level
of OCD.

Reluctantly, I pushed the drawer shut. I had enough sense not to put the gun under
my pillow, but the temptation was there.

Sleep was a distant memory, so I rolled to my back and stared at the ceiling. It was
three in the morning. If I didn’t start getting more sleep soon, I would have issues.

****

On Friday night I had plans with my girls. Amy was in town for some sort of business
meeting at Alexander Technologies and Cheyenne was meeting us at Sky for drinks.

Cade owned Sky, and it was one of the hottest bars in Atlanta. In fact, the suit I’d
worn to work that day wasn’t even appropriate, so I headed home to change and found
myself staring at the row of dresses I normally wore to go out.

Five were black. My instinct was to say
fuck it
and put on something more comfortable, but I needed to pull my shit together and
get dressed like a normal human being. A few hours drinking with the girls would make
me human. Right?

At seven o’clock I stepped out of a cab at the entrance, wincing as I walked past
the long line of people waiting to get in. The dimly lit night club was on everyone’s
bucket list. It always made me uncomfortable to bypass the crowd, but I couldn’t help
it that I knew the owner. It was one of the few perks I enjoyed.

The bouncer smiled at me and opened the front door. “Evening, Meagan.”

“Thank you, Davin.” I stepped into the crowded room, smoothing my dress down unnecessarily.

My hair was down, and I tucked a curl behind my ear as I wove through the throng of
patrons to get to the far right corner where I would find Amy and Cheyenne. We had
a usual section.

Several waiters nodded at me as I made my way past the bar in the center of the room.

I was relieved to find both my friends already in their seats at a high bar table.
I was also glad to find them similarly dressed.

Amy smiled at me as I approached. I kissed the air next to her cheek and then did
the same to Cheyenne.

“You made it,” Amy declared. “How’s traffic? I got here a while ago.”

I shrugged, slipping my coat off and draping it over the back of the bar stool. “The
usual. Friday night in Atlanta. Too much traffic. Crazy drivers.” I lifted myself
onto the stool and settled in as gracefully as possible in my body-hugging dress.
It was one of my favorites, the material stretchy enough to be forgiving while hugging
my ass and boobs to the point that men took a second glance. It made me feel sexy.

“How’s the accounting business?” Cheyenne asked with a grin. She was in marketing
and never understood my fascination for numbers.

“Great.” I had enjoyed the holidays when few people needed my services right before
the crunch that would occur as soon as tax season began. Now that we were into January,
my eight-hour days would switch to sixteen-hour days in a matter of weeks.

“You look tired,” Amy commented, narrowing her gaze.

I shrugged. “You look well rested. Marriage must agree with you.” My goal was to shift
the attention from the bags under my eyes to anything else but me. Amy did look fantastic.
She and Cade had gone on a ten-day honeymoon after their wedding in November. I’d
seen her several times over the holidays in Atlanta after that, but she still glowed
as if she’d gotten married yesterday.

“She’s right,” Cheyenne added, tucking her blond hair behind her ear. “You do look
radiant.” She smiled at Amy.

A waiter approached. “What can I get you ladies?” He knew who we were. All of the
staff knew who we were. Cade was probably hanging around somewhere behind the scenes.

“How about a bottle of chardonnay?” Amy said, glancing at each of us.

I nodded alongside Cheyenne. “Sounds good.”

“I’m pretty sure we have a few bottles of that Solomon Hills Chardonnay you like.
Shall I look?” the waiter asked.

“That would be perfect, Richard. Thanks.”

Richard. Huh. Amy knew more names of the staff than I realized. I’d been to Sky many
times in the last year with her and Cheyenne, but Amy and Cade came to Sky every time
they were in town.

“How’s Riley?” Amy asked Cheyenne. She set her elbows on the table and leaned her
chin on her palms.

“He’s good.” Cheyenne blushed. “Great, actually. Overbearing at times, but I’m getting
used to it.”

Amy laughed, her thick, brown waves of hair swinging behind her as she tipped her
head back. “Don’t let him steamroll you,” she teased.

I knew exactly what Amy and Cheyenne were talking about, not only because they were
my friends and I knew nearly everything about their lives in the D/s world by that
point, but also because after my night of submitting to Parker, I had more first-hand
experience with the lifestyle. I shuddered, picturing how Parker had made my heart
race and soaked my panties with his dominance.

I shifted in my seat. He wasn’t in the room or the city and he made me squirm.

Amy glanced at me and sobered. “Sorry. I don’t want to spend the evening discussing
my relationship. Are you dating anyone?”

I shook my head. “Not right now.”

Richard returned with the bottle of wine and held it out for us to see.

“Perfect,” Amy said.

He pulled the cork out and poured a splash in her glass.

When she tasted it, her eyes rolled back. “Delicious.”

He filled all three of our glasses. “I have another bottle set aside if you want it.”

“Thanks, Richard.” Amy waited for him to set the bottle in a fancy chilled container
on the table and walk away before she turned her attention back to us.

I thought it was a waste of time. He might as well have poured the entire thing in
our glasses considering how much was left.

“Where’s Cade?” I asked.

“He’ll be here in a while. They were finishing up with a late client at the office.”

I nodded. Undoubtedly Riley was with Cade.

For the next half hour, we chatted about first Amy’s work at The Rockwood Group in
Nashville and then Cheyenne’s work at Talent Marketing in Atlanta.

When a force loomed behind me, goose bumps rose on my skin. I didn’t need to glance
over my shoulder to know Parker stood there. My hand shook as I set my wine glass
on the table to avoid dropping it and followed Amy’s and Cheyenne’s gazes. Their faces
lit up, and they sat up straighter.

Yep.

Parker indeed stood inches from me at my back. He grinned down at me and mumbled,
“Sock drawer?” as Cade leaned in to kiss Amy, and Riley did the same to Cheyenne.

Heat rose up my face as I shot him a glare.

He chuckled and then tugged a stool up next to mine and took a seat. His knee brushed
my thigh, giving me an instant rush. The sexual energy between us was palpable, and
he pressed against my leg without glancing at the spot.

I shifted my attention to Cade, needing a distraction. “How was your meeting?” I asked
lamely.

“Went well,” Cade muttered as he lifted the bottle of chardonnay out of the iced container
and glanced at the label. “Ah, good choice.”

“Richard held back another bottle if you want it.”

“Of course he did.”

As if summoned telepathically, Richard showed up with three more glasses, and his
eyebrows lifted. “Sir?”

Cade reached for a glass. “Perfect.” He turned toward Riley and Parker, who both nodded.

“I’ll be back with another bottle.” Richard passed off the glasses and rushed toward
the back room.

Cade stood behind Amy, setting his hands on her shoulders and squeezing them gently.
“Did we interrupt anything?”

I couldn’t think with Parker so close to me. His breath tickled my neck. What was
he doing in town? Why hadn’t he told me he would be here? I hadn’t heard from him
again after he asked me to come to Charlotte for the weekend.

I shouldn’t have been surprised. If Cade was in town for a meeting, there was every
chance Parker would be also. He certainly wasn’t obligated to inform me of his whereabouts.
But this was also intentional on his part. He knew exactly how I would react to this
surprise.

Amy hadn’t mentioned Parker was in town. Why would she? As far as she knew—he was
a friend of her husband, not a guy I was sleeping with.

“Nope,” Amy answered, “we were just catching up.”

“Did you three eat?” Riley wrapped an arm around Cheyenne’s waist as he spoke.

Cheyenne shook her head. “No. I came straight here from work.”

“Meagan?” Parker asked, his hand landing on my back. If anyone noticed, they said
nothing. More than likely they didn’t see anything out of the ordinary with our friendly
behavior. After all, we’d been pleasant company for each other publically on several
occasions.

My reaction to his added touch wasn’t easy to hide. I sat up straighter, arching my
back. My nipples jumped to attention under the tight black dress. I refused to glance
down. They would be poking out embarrassingly.

My right knee bounced as my pussy came alive with arousal.

Damn this man and his ability to drive me wild in less than a minute with a touch.

Parker flattened his hand on my back and smoothed it down toward my ass, repeating
his question. “Meagan? Did you have dinner yet?”

I swallowed and met his gaze, finding his eyes twinkling with mirth as I responded.
“No.”

“How about I see if I can get us reservations at Stuarts?” Cade asked.

“Sounds lovely,” Amy said. “Is that okay with you?” she asked, her eyes scrunching
as she glanced at Cheyenne and then me. “I didn’t mean for them to hijack our evening.”

“Of course,” Cheyenne said as she turned toward me. “Meagan?”

What could I say? Even if I hated Parker, I couldn’t have said so in front of him.
As it turned out, my feelings for Parker were a bit far from hate. He’d probably managed
to orchestrate this entire thing himself.

Two could play this game. I was a big girl. The challenge of pretending I had never
seen the man naked would give me something to keep my mind off my real problems for
the evening.

The only issue was we would undoubtedly end up fucking each other before the night
was over.

Again.

Probably somewhere public before we ate dinner. Which sent a chill down my spine.
When had sneaking around behind my friends’ backs fucking one of their companions
become a permanent game of mine?

It wasn’t fair.

To Parker, I was a challenge. Someone he thought he wanted because I kept turning
him down. In reality, if I agreed to date him, he might lose interest and move on.
Right?

The risk was too great. What if he did have an interest in me that reached deeper
than the challenge? I couldn’t take that chance.