The Promise (16 page)

“I'm sorry to hear it, Mrs. Hillyard. But I died two years ago. And it sounds to me as though your son did, too. That's two of us. On your hands, Mrs. Hillyard. To be honest with you, it's hard for me to feel a great deal of sympathy for you. I suppose I should be grateful to you. I suppose I should thank you from the bottom of my heart that men turn and stare at me every day, instead of running from me in horror. I suppose I should feel a lot of things, but I don't. I don't feel anything for you now except sorry for you, because you've ruined Michael's life, and you know it. Not to mention what you did to mine.”

Marion nodded silently, feeling the full weight of the girl's reproach. She knew it all herself. Secretly, she had known it for two years. About Michael anyway. She hadn't known about the girl. Maybe that was why she had to come. “I don't know what to say.”

“Good-bye will be fine.” Marie picked up her coat and her portfolio and walked to the door of the suite. She stopped for a moment at the door, her hand on the knob, her head bowed, and tears beginning to creep down her face. She turned slowly then, and saw tears running down Marion's face as well. The older woman was speechless with her private agony, but the young girl managed to catch her breath and speak again. “Good-bye, Mrs. Hillyard. Give … give Michael … my love.” She closed the door softly behind her, but Marion Hillyard didn't move. She felt her heart rip through her lungs with long searing pains. Gasping for air, she stumbled toward the buzzer that would summon a maid. She managed to press it once before passing out.

Chapter 23

His heels rapped hollowly in the hospital corridor as he almost ran to her room. Why had she insisted on coming out alone? Why did she always have to be so damned independent, still, after all these years? He knocked softly on the door, and a nurse opened it with a pointed look of inquisition.

“Is this Mrs. Hillyard's room? I'm George Calloway.” He looked nervous and tired and old, and he felt that way, too. He had really had enough of this nonsense. And he was going to tell her so as soon as he saw her. He had said as much to Michael before leaving New York.

The nurse smiled at the sound of his name. “Yes, Mr. Calloway, we've been expecting you.” Marion had only been in the hospital since six o'clock that evening. George had managed to arrive in San Francisco by eleven o'clock local time. It was now just after mid-night That was about as fast as anyone could make the trip. Marion's smile acknowledged that when the nurse opened the door to let George step inside, and slipped quietly past him into the hall.

“Hello, George.”

“Hello, Marion. How do you feel?”

“Tired, but I'll live. At least that's what they tell me. It was only a small seizure.”

“This time. But what about next time?” He looked leonine as he paced the room, glaring at her. He hadn't even stopped to kiss her, as he usually did. He had too much to say.

“We'll worry about next time when it gets here. Now sit down and relax, you're making me nervous. Do you want something to eat? I had the nurse save you a sandwich.”

“I couldn't eat.”

“Now stop that. I've never seen you like this, George. It wasn't serious, for heaven's sake. Don't be like that.”

“Don't tell me how to be, Marion Hillyard. I've been watching you destroy yourself for far too long, and I'm not going to tolerate it anymore.”

“You're quitting?” She grinned at him from the bed. “Why don't you just retire?” She was suddenly amused at the whole scene, but she was less amused in a moment when he returned to face her with something immovable in his face.

“That's exactly what I'm going to do, Marion. Retire.”

She could see that he was serious. This was all she needed. “Don't be ridiculous.” But she wasn't so sure she could jolly him out of this one. She sat up in bed with a nervous smile.

“I'm not. It's the first intelligent decision I've made in twenty years. And do you know who else is retiring, Marion? You are. We're both retiring. With no notice at all. I discussed it with Michael on the way to the airport. He was good enough to drive me out, and he said to tell you that he's sorry he couldn't come but he's just too tied up at the moment. He thinks our retiring is a fine idea. And so do I. In fact, no one is interested in what you think of it, Marion. The decision is made.”

“Are you crazy?” She sat up in bed and glared at him in the dim room. “And just exactly what do you think I'll do with myself if I retire? Knit?”

“I think that's a fine idea. But the first thing you'll do is marry me. After that, you may do anything you like.
Except”
—his voice rose menacingly on the word —“work. Is that clear, Mrs. Hillyard?”

“Aren't you at least going to ask me to marry you? Or are you just telling me? Or is this an order from Michael, too?” But she wasn't angry. She was touched. And relieved. She'd had enough. She'd done enough, in the best and worst senses of the word. And she knew it, too. The meeting with Marie had driven the point home that afternoon.

“We have Michael's blessing, if that makes any difference.” And then his voice softened as he approached her bed and reached for her hand, which he held gently in his. “Will you marry me, Marion?” He was almost afraid to ask after all this time, but he had finally spoken to Michael about it in the anxious moments before his flight, and Michael had said something strange to him about “celebrating their love.” George had not really understood, but he had been grateful for the encouragement. “Will you?” He held her hand a little tighter as he waited.

She nodded slowly, with a warm, tired smile, and a look of near regret. “We should have thought of this years ago, George.” But she wanted to say something else too… that she wasn't sure if she had the right … not after….

“I thought of it years ago, but I never thought you'd accept.”

“I probably wouldn't have. Fool that I am. Oh George,” she sighed and fell back against the pillows, “I've done such stupid things in my life.” Her face suddenly showed the agony of the afternoon, and he watched her, puzzled by the torment he saw mixed with the fatigue.

“What a silly thing to say. I can't think of a single foolish thing you've done in all the years I've known you.” He kept a gentle hold on her hand and stroked it lovingly. He had wanted to do that for years, in just that way. “Don't torment yourself with nonsense from the past.”

But Marion was sitting up very straight, and she looked at him from the bed, her hand cold and taut in his.

“What if the 'nonsense,' as you call it, destroyed people's lives? Do I have a right to forget that, George?”

“Why, Marion, what could you have done to destroy someone's life?” He suddenly wondered if the doctor had given her some powerful drug. Or perhaps this last attack had affected her mentally. She wasn't making sense.

But she settled back among her pillows and closed her eyes. “You don't understand.”

“Should I?” His voice was gentle in the dimly lit room.

“Perhaps. Maybe, if you knew, you wouldn't be so anxious to marry me.”

“Don't be absurd. But if that's how you feel, then I think I have a right to know what's bothering you. What is it?” He never let go of her hand, and at last she opened her eyes. She stared at him for a long time before she spoke.

“I don't know if I can tell you.”

“Why not? I can't think of anything that would shock me. And I can't imagine anything about you that I don't know.” They had had no secrets from each other for years. “I'm beginning to think the seizure this afternoon just rocked you a bit.”

“The truth I had to face did that.” Her tone was one he had never heard from her, and when he looked at her again there were tears in her eyes. He wanted to put his arms around her and make it all better, but he understood now that she really did have something very important to tell him. Could she have been having an affair with someone for all these years? The idea suddenly shocked him. But he could even have accepted that. He loved her. He had always loved her. He had waited too long for this moment to let anything spoil it.

“Did something special happen this afternoon?” He watched her very closely, waiting for the answer, but her eyes only closed as the tears poured silently down her cheeks, and at last she nodded and whispered “Yes.”

“I see. Well, relax now. Let's not get all excited about it.” She was beginning to worry him. He didn't want her to have another seizure.

“I saw the girl.”

“What girl?” What in God's name was she talking about?

“The girl Michael was in love with.” The tears stopped for a moment, and she sat up very straight and looked at him. “Do you remember the night of Michael's accident, when he came down to the city to see me? You came in, and he stalked out. He was furious. He had come down to tell me that he was going to many that girl. And I showed him that… that report I'd had done on her …”

Her voice drifted off for a moment as she remembered, and George's brow furrowed deeper. She must be confused by some drug. That was the only explanation. That girl had died in the accident.

“Marion dear, you couldn't have seen the girl. As I recall, she … she uh … passed on in the—”

But Marion shook her head, her eyes never leaving his. “No, George. She didn't. I said she did, and Wicky kept his mouth shut, but the girl lived. Her face was destroyed, though. Everything but her eyes.” George watched her silently but he was listening. This was a distraught Marion, an agonized Marion, but it wasn't a crazy Marion. He knew she was telling the truth. “I went into her room that night and offered her a deal.” He waited, silently. She closed her eyes as though in pain, and he squeezed her hand tighten.

“Are you all right?”

She nodded quietly and opened her eyes again. “Yes. Maybe I'll feel better once I tell you. I offered her a deal. Her face in exchange for Michael. There are a lot of prettier ways to say it, but that's what it boils down to. Wicky said he knew of one man in the country who could restore her face. It would cost a fortune, but he could do it. I told her about it, offered to pay for it and anything else she needed until all the operations were over. I offered her a whole new life, a life she'd never had, as long as she agreed not to seek out Michael again.”

“And she agreed?”

“Yes.” It was a small, rocklike word.

“Then she couldn't have loved him very much anyway. And you did a damn nice thing offering to pay for the surgery. Hell, if they'd loved each other so much, neither one of them would have accepted that.”

“You don't understand, George.” Her tone was icy now. But her anger was against herself, not George. “I wasn't honest with either of them. I told Michael she was dead, for God's sake, and I knew damn well that she never expected Michael to honor the agreement That's probably why she agreed to it. That and the fact that she had no choice. She had nothing left. Except me—offering her a deal with the devil, as she herself put it today. George, you know Michael never would have accepted that agreement either, if he'd known the truth. He'd have gone back to her in a moment.”

“He hasn't suffered in the interim. He's recovered. Maybe they wouldn't even like each other now.” He was desperately looking for balm for her wounds, but he had to admit that it was a pretty nasty wound, and it must have been damned hard to live with. He knew Marion had thought she was acting in Michael's best interests, but she had played a very serious game with his life. “That's true, you know, they've probably grown to be quite different. They might not even want each other now.”

“I realize that.” She leaned back, with a sigh. “Michael is obsessed with his work. He has no love, no gentleness, no time, nothing. There's nothing left, and I know it better than anyone. And she.…” She thought back painfully to that afternoon, “She's exquisite. Elegant. Beautiful. And bitter, angry, filled with hate. They'd make a charming couple.”

“And you think you did all that?”

“Knowing what you know now, don't you agree?” In spite of herself, her eyes filled with tears again. “I was wrong to come between them, George, I know that now.”

“Maybe the damage can be repaired. And in the meantime, you've given the girl her life back. A better life, in some ways.”

“And she hates me for it.”

“Then she's a fool.”

Marion shook her head. “No. She's right. I had no right to do what I did. And if I had any courage at all, I'd tell Michael.” But in spite of himself, George hoped she would not do that. Michael's anger would destroy her. Her son would never feel the same about her again.

“Don't tell him, darling. There's no point now.”

Marion saw the fear in his eyes, and she smiled.

“Don't worry. I'm not that brave. But he'll find out. In time. I'll see to that. He has a right to know. But I hope he'll hear it from her, if she takes him back. Maybe then he'll forgive me.”

“Do you think there's a chance of that? That she'll take him back, I mean?”

“Not really. But I must do what I can.”

“Oh God—”

“I started this. Now I owe it to both of them to do something. Maybe nothing will come of it, but I can try.”

“And you've kept in touch with her during all this time?”

“No. I saw her again for the first time today.”

“Now I understand. And how did that happen?”

“I arranged a meeting. I wasn't even sure it was she, but I suspected. And I was right.” She sounded pleased with herself, and he smiled for the first time in half an hour.

“It must have been quite a meeting.” Now he understood the fresh seizure. It was a wonder it hadn't killed her.

“It could have been worse.” Her voice grew gentle, and her eyes filled with tears again. “It could have been much worse. All it really did was show me how wrong I'd been, that I'd destroyed her life as well as his.”

“Stop that. You didn't destroy either one of them. You've given Michael a career any man would give his life for, and you've given her something no one else could have.”

“What? Heartbreak? Disillusionment? Despair?”

“If that's how she feels she's an ingrate. What about a new face? A new life? A new world?”

“I suspect it's a very empty world, except for her work. In that sense, she's very much like Michael.”

“Then maybe they'll build something together again. But in the meantime, what's done is done. You can't punish yourself forever over this. You did what you must have thought right at the time. And they're young, darling. They have full lives ahead of them. If they waste them, it's their own doing. What we mustn't do is waste ours.” He wanted to say “we have
so
little time left,” but he didn't. He leaned closer to her as she lay on the bed, and she raised her arms to him. He held her very tight and felt the warmth of her body in his arms. “I love you, darling. I'm sorry you went through all that alone, without telling me. You should have told me two years ago.”

“You'd have hated me for it.” Her voice was muffled by his shoulder and her sobs.

“Never. Not then and not now. I could never do anything but love you. And I respect you for telling me about this now. You didn't have to. You could have hidden it. I would never have known.”

“No, but I would. And I had to know what you thought.”

“I think the whole thing has been an agony for everyone. Now, do what you can about it, and then let it go. Drop it from your thoughts, your heart, your conscience. It's over. And we have a new life to begin. We have a right to that life. You've paid dearly for everything you've had. You don't have to punish yourself for anything. We're going to get married, and go away, and live our life. Let them work out their own.”

“Do I really have a right to that?” She looked younger again when he looked into her face.