The Promises We Keep (Made for Love Book 1) (100 page)

Ugh
—
football.

For most of my life, I could care less about football and then Sonny happened. I don
’
t know that I
love
the sport now, but I appreciate it; furthermore, I love my QB and I think watching him play is amazing. He
’
s such a great leader and seeing him out on that field, watching him as he surrenders himself to the game, it
’
s actually really hot. Not to mention his focus, dedication, and determination; honestly, I think football has taught him a lot and it
’
s helped shape him into the man that he is. I
’
ve come to understand that his sport, and all that comes with it, has been more of a parent to him than either Patrick or Rhonda have ever been.

All that being said, I think I liked football more when Sonny and I were just friends. Now I have to share him with it
—
his first love
. I never thought I would be jealous of a pigskin ball, but I am. Over the summer, I got so spoiled. Sure, we each had work and he had practice, but it was still totally possible to see each other every day. Even if that meant sacrificing a little bit of sleep. Date nights were not something we had to go out of our way to plan
—
they just happened.
Okay, maybe it took a little more effort than that; but in comparison to how it is now, it felt easier.

Mid-terms are next week and I can honestly say that I
’
ve never been more excited for the month of September to be over. I usually love fall time in Colorado and I relish every single moment that we get. The weather is perfect
—
not too hot, not too cold
—
and the colors that proclaim the end of another season are breathtaking. It
’
s like I live in the middle of a canvas where God just goes wild with all the yellow, orange, and red leaves that fall from the trees and blanket our wonderful town. And while I do find myself walking around campus
slower
these days, taking it all in, I can hardly wait for winter.

Every time Sonny has an away game, he
’
s gone for a couple of days. So far he
’
s left me for Idaho, Massachusetts, and this weekend, Nevada. Sure, that all on its own doesn
’
t sound so bad. He always FaceTimes me when he
’
s gone, which I think is so sweet. When he
’
s here, in study mode, he insists that we study together. Not that I need convincing. That
’
s just part of the struggle, though.

Some days, even though we live right next to each other, we don
’
t see one another. I hate text days
—
where all we can manage is a text here and there. Then, sometimes when we hang out, we
’
re just too tired to do anything. It
’
s the worst when one of us is tired or grumpy and the other one isn
’
t; that always seems to open the door for a stupid argument. We get over it, of course, staying true to our vow to not go to bed angry at each other, but it
’
s just
…
hard.

I get it. I get it that this is normal, that my relationship can
’
t be my whole life and vice versa. Sometimes, it just feels like we
’
re not on the same page
—
like everything else is getting in the way, only we can
’
t figure out how to stop it and so we grow apart just a little bit
—
at least, that
’
s what it feels like. There are gaps that are created, things we forget to tell each other and moments we wish we could share with one another but we can
’
t; it
’
s just hard to fill in the empty space.

Also, it
’
s quite possible that, given my sour mood, I
’
m completely exaggerating. It
’
s been a long week and all I want right now is to snuggle with my man and he
’
s not here. Plus, to make matters worse, I missed Sonny
’
s call this morning. When I finally got a hold of him later, he had about five minutes to talk to me. Knowing that I
’
m supposed to start my period any day, I
’
m aware that my frustration is easily peeked right now; but I can
’
t help but feel annoyed.
Literally,
can
’
t help it.

“
Hey, what are you doing still hiding out in here?
”
asks Sarah, interrupting my thoughts. She
’
s standing in my doorway in her pajamas with a big bowl of popcorn.
“
Claire should be here any minute.
”
Tonight, we
’
re having a girls
’
night. It
’
s actually kind of a relief, since I probably shouldn
’
t be stewing all by myself right now. Claire is coming over and we
’
re going to watch the CSU vs Nevada game on TV while we help her with wedding stuff. She and Jack finally picked a date for their big day and they
’
ll be getting married May thirtieth.

Sarah smiles at me when there
’
s a knock at the door.
“
Come on, sweetie, she
’
s here.
”
I set aside the homework I
wasn
’
t
doing and crawl off my bed, following her into the living room. I gasp when I see a plate of brownies on the coffee table.
“
Our cycles are synced,
”
Sarah says in response, offering me a wink.
“
I knew you
’
d be PMSing this weekend
and
that Grayson
’
s absence would make it worse.
”

“
You are incredible,
”
I tell her as I reach for a warm square of chocolaty goodness.
“
Marry me?
”

She laughs as she opens the door.
“
I love you, but I
’
m not a home wrecker. You
’
ll just have to wait for Gray to ask you.
”

“
Gray to ask who what?
”
asks Claire in greeting. Her arms are
full
of magazines and her wedding planner binder; she
’
s also got a bottle of wine clutched in one of her hands. Her hair, which is getting longer since she
’
s decided to grow it out for the wedding, is pulled up into a messy bun on the top of her head. She
’
s in a pair of baggy sweats
—
I
’
d bet anything they belong to Jack
—
and her
Davis
’
s Future Wifey
shirt. Seeing her attire makes me smile, because I
’
m wearing my
O
’
Conner
’
s Shorty
shirt, too.

“
Ooh, I
’
ll take this and get some glasses,
”
says Sarah as she takes the wine and sets down the popcorn.
“
And I was talking about Gray asking Ave to marry him.
”

Claire beams at me as she shuts the door behind her.
“
You
’
re next. I just know it.
”

I blush and shove another bite of brownie into my mouth. I always imagined that Addie would be first. Marriage has been a conversation between her and Beckham for years; and even though they aren
’
t together right now, it still never really crossed my mind that I would beat her down the aisle. As scary as it might be to admit, I hope Claire is right. Not that I feel like it
’
s a race
—
I just really like the idea of spending forever with Sonny.

We haven
’
t really talked about marriage. Not intentionally. We know it
’
s something each of us wants, and it
’
s assumed that we want it with each other, but right now getting through the semester seems to be about all we can handle. Choosing to go to graduate school together is pretty big, so I
’
m okay with the fact that we haven
’
t discussed marriage in detail. I won
’
t lie and say that I haven
’
t thought about it. I think about it more than I
’
d ever admit to anyone. My thoughts and visions aren
’
t derived from an anxious or impatient place, it
’
s more like a dream state. I dream about life after college and the places he and I might go; I dream about living together and
not
having to say goodbye to each other at the end of the night; I dream about sharing the same space and taking care of each other
…

“
You know it, too,
”
says Claire with a giggle as she hip checks me. I didn
’
t even realize she had made her way across the room and I
’
m startled out of my thoughts at her contact. I watch as she dumps her load in the empty space on the coffee table and then sits down on the couch.

“
We haven
’
t talked about it,
”
I mutter lamely after I swallow my all but forgotten bite of brownie.

“
Please
,
”
she scoffs, tugging at my wrist and pulling me down beside her.
“
You
’
re the air he breathes. Trust me, it
’
s only a matter of time. Besides, I
’
m sure he
’
s dying to get into those panties of yours.
”
I suck in a breath of air, surprised by her comment, and I swallow wrong. Claire bursts into a fit of laughter as I choke on my spit.
“
I
’
m teasing! Sort of.
”
When Sarah comes over with three empty wine glasses and the now open bottle of wine, she arches an eyebrow at Claire who starts laughing again.
“
Okay. Yeah
—
I
’
m not teasing.
”

I cast a glare at Sarah, silently communicating my feeling of betrayal, and she shrugs as she pours.
“
Are you honestly going to sit there and tell me that you
don
’
t
want to rip his clothes off every now and again?
”

My jaw drops as my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. I refuse to answer that question
—
even to myself.
Okay, maybe I can admit to myself that my hands like the way his skin feels underneath his shirt and exploring his chiseled torso definitely intensifies a shared kiss between the two of us
…
but we have boundaries. So even though I
’
ve thought about taking his shirt off while in the heat of the moment, I never have. And even though I know without a doubt that he
’
s wanted to take
mine
off, he never has either. Mostly because I get incredibly nervous the more intimate he becomes and he knows it; but I also would like to believe that he
’
s simply keeping his promise to wait.

I shake my head and scatter my thoughts before taking a glass of wine off of the coffee table.
“
Can we talk about something else?
”

Claire giggles, reaching for her own glass and the remote.
“
Sure.
”
She flips on the television and hunts for the channel where we
’
ll be able to view the game.
“
By the way, where
’
s Addie?
”