The Protector (21 page)

The ache for her was excruciating. It felt as if I had a pallet of bricks on my chest and I wanted so much to roll her over and move. I needed to get myself out of the situation before it turned bad. I realized as I held her and felt my body react that being this close was not good for either of us.  As if reading my mind, she turned away from me and on to her side. I knew that if I didn’t move now, I wouldn’t.

“Please stay,” she murmured again. But this time she did not move closer to me. She stayed a safe distance.  I moved as close as I could, without endangering both us and touched her shoulder. I laid my head down on the pillow and closed my eyes. I knew my breathing was heavy and she could probably feel it, but I didn’t dare leave her side.  The ache was still there but so was the
self-control
I desperately feared I would never find.  Being this close to her, laying next to her, kept my mind racing. I wondered what I was doing, and why I felt this incredible urge to protect her more than I had anyone else.  Everything about her pulled me closer and closer over the edge of reason; and this was truly something I had never encountered before. It was unchartered territory for me and I although I was entranced by the feelings, it wasn’t a feeling I was ready to feel comfortable with. I laid there next to her until I was sure she had fallen into a deep sleep and finally got up shortly before dawn.

The sun was just beginning to come up over the eastern horizon as I began to make coffee. It was going to be a warm day in Phoenix, a good day for a swim I thought to myself. But we wouldn’t be swimming or enjoying the sun.  If I had my say, she would remain here in the condo, resting enjoying a little bit of peace and quiet I knew I could guarantee her. 

For the first time since Paige died, I was extremely grateful I had kept this condo. I had kept it under an assumed name, wanting to keep it secret from not only her but from everyone in case I ever did need to escape. My ulterior motive for buying it was Paige though. At the time I figured that once Paige got better we could move out of DC to the desert like she wanted to. I would leave my job and find something in local law enforcement if it came down to it. I had wanted to surprise her.

She never found out about the Condo, as she died not long after I had bought it. I had laughed to myself, the first time I had come out after she had passed, she would have thought it was frivolous and wasteful to have it, especially since she was going to die. My heart began to ache as I thought about Paige. I looked out the window of the condo and headed back into the living room to my laptop on the coffee table. I knew we were safe here for a few days as I was sure they would figure it out eventually. I needed to think about where to go next. It had to be someplace no one would expect us to go and some place where we could blend in and hide out for a
while until we figured out what to do next.

A

I woke to the sound of his tapping fingers on the laptop. I wasn’t sure what he was doing but I knew it was time to get up. I hadn’t slept well after the dream.  It was a strange dream, one I hadn’t expected but considering everything, my subconscious was working overtime.  Jack was in the dream protecting me, then suddenly he was gone.  What scared me the most about the dream was not that I was alone, I could handle that. It was the fact that he was gone out of my life. Much to my surprise I  awoke and he was suddenly there and for most of the night I had felt his warm body next to mine. The dream didn’t come back, but I had a hard time sleeping after that.

I wondered what his next move would be. Where would we go?  I still felt I could trust where he said to go and what to do. He had been honest and up front with me so far and he had kept me alive.  Both were incredible circumstances I was grateful for.

I walked into the bathroom hoping to find something that would combat the rats nest my hair had become.  I was
self-conscious
of my average looks and knew more than anything I needed as much help as possible first thing in the morning. I looked around the bathroom for anything, toothpaste, a comb, a used toothbrush?  I was able to find a hair brush, which I managed to run through my mangled hair.  I turned to go and get dressed but then reality set in as I realized I had nothing but Jack’s sweats to wear.  The clothes I had worn yesterday were trashed from my bloody nose and frankly I wanted to burn them.  

I turned and walked out of the bathroom and out into the living room where Jack was on the lap top typing away. I could feel my body tense as the smell of coffee triggered a replay of yesterday’s events in my mind.  It had been my need for coffee and my promise to the cute Air Force guy that had gotten me shot at. But today those thoughts were not going to detour me from the caffeine I desperately wanted. I could hear Jack still typing away. It was as if he didn’t even notice I had walked by. I really didn’t need the coffee to remind me of yesterday’s events, the stiffness and sore muscles reminded me of that every time I took a step. 

“I think there is some powder cream crap in the pantry if you want it,” I heard him call from the other room. His tone was calm, his voice amazing.  I didn’t need any of the powder cream crap as he called it so I ignored him and took a sip of the hot black liquid. It was bitter but tasted good on my tongue. I wondered to myself if anyone had ever awoke to the glorious voice or that warm body day after day. Whoever it was, I had decided was lucky. I walked out of the kitchen to the couch we had sat on last night with a grin on my face.

“Coffee’s good, thank you.” I mumbled. I wasn’t sure if he was still upset with me about last night. I really didn’t care. I was still prepared to get on a plane to Washington with him and face whatever consequences I needed to face.  He didn’t acknowledge me, nor did I expect him to. I could see the sun over the Eastern Horizon of the desert. It was quite a sight to see, maybe not as pretty as Albuquerque, but it was amazing.  I let my thoughts wander to what I was missing.  End of the week, “let’s see” I thought to myself, “a staff meeting.” I usually went to the gym after work, and caught up on reading. I also tried to call my mom
every day
. I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle that one.  I needed to let them know I was ok. They were going to wonder where I was.

“My family?” I whispered, barely audible. Jack did not look up from his seat. “My mom and my dad?” I said a little louder. This time he had to have heard me. But he made no motion to acknowledge me.  I slammed the coffee cup down on the table in front of me.   It infuriated me that he chose to ignore me asking about something that was extremely important to me. “Damn it Jack! My parents, are they safe?” I yelled the question this time.

Jack looked up from his computer and gently put his cup down. “Your parents are going to be fine Alison. I will have you call them later and tell them you are going out of town for work for a little while.”

“How can you be so sure they are going to be safe?” I looked at him intently waiting impatiently for his response. How did he know they wouldn’t go after my parents looking for me. I wasn’t entirely convinced that they wouldn’t.

“They’ll watch your parents in case you show up there. Hell they’ll even bug their phone. So any phone calls you make to them will have to be short sweet and to the point. You can email them if you want.”  He motioned toward the computer in front of him. “But you can’t say any more than necessary.”

I sighed in frustration. He had a point, what was I going to tell them?  “Oh by the way mom I am being hunted by
someone
. Hell I think even by a foreign country and possibly a terrorist group because I gave them the wrong processor for their satellite system. Oh and I am being protected by a man I barely know, but don’t fret mom, he’s hot and knows how to use his gun, so I’m safe.”  I hadn’t realized that Jack could hear my tirade.  I was talking to myself out loud. I could feel my face turn every shade of red imaginable.   

“I wouldn’t necessarily say that, but thank you for the compliment. Been a long time since I’ve been called hot.”  The smile on his face went from ear to ear, and he was almost as red as I was as he got up from where he sat.  “That might scare the hell out of her, not to mention she may get the wrong idea. You might be better off telling her something simple like you are having a breakdown and you are going out of town for a few days. Tell her you are ok and not to worry.”

“Mental breakdown,” I questioned raising my eyebrows.  “Gee that might work.”  My tone was unconvincing. If anyone knew my family they knew I was the most stable one of them all, so that excuse wasn’t going to work.

“You could tell her you have met someone you are madly in love with and have decided to run off and see the world with him. It will give us more time without having to think of another explanation.” He was so nonchalant about his words I could have sworn he was dead serious. He smiled and walked into the kitchen to pour himself another cup of coffee.  I could feel my body begin to tingle.

“Then they will really think I have lost it!” I taunted back from where I sat. Suddenly, a thought popped into my head, something I hadn’t thought about until now. I had not talked to Eric since I had returned from Tel Aviv. He was probably freaking out by now, considering I had told him I would be returning home last Friday.  “Oh shit,” I murmured. 

“What now,” he asked as he walked back into the room. “Did you forget to call your boyfriend and tell him you ran away with another man!”  The smile had not disappeared as he thought it was all a funny joke, but I could feel dread creep up on my face as I realized just how true his statement was. I had forgotten to call Eric.

I shot an innocent looking glance up at Jack and a smile shot across his face. “Yep.” I tried to keep the mood light as I wasn’t sure how Jack’s reaction was going to be. “Forgot to call Eric. This could be a problem.”

J

Who the hell was Eric? I thought to myself. And how did he fit not the grand scheme of things.  Her life had been turned upside down and frankly there had been no time to tell anyone she had left. And as if it was as clear as yesterday, I remembered the picture sitting on her mantel of a man in a police uniform. At the time I had not thought anything of it. But suddenly that changed.

“Who’s Eric and why does he matter?” I asked causally trying not to sound jealous.  In the week we had spent together before everything went to hell, she had never mentioned Eric or his importance. Hell she had never even pointed out the picture.  I knew about the Air Force Lieutenant - Lance who had wanted to ask her out. As far as I was concerned, other than me, he was the only man on the planet who deserved her, he had sacrificed so much in a day just for her safety.  

“Eric,” she started in response, “is an old family friend. We talk on the phone a few times a week. He lives in Oregon. He wishes for more and I am happy for what it is now.” She looked down at her almost empty cup.

“And how does this present a problem?” I walked up to her and took the coffee cup from her hand. I figured she could use the caffeine, so I went to pour her another cup. “Is there something I should know?”

She hesitated for a moment and continued. “Well he thinks we have a thing going. He’s been bugging me about coming to see him. He even asked Tom to give me some time off last time he was down.  Tom hated the guy and would never give me the time off to see him. And frankly who was I to argue with Tom.”  I could tell by the tone of her voice that she didn’t argue with Tom about it. It was almost as if she had no desire to see him at all.

I still didn’t quite understand the problem.  I handed her back her cup of coffee and she smiled at me. I looked into her deep emerald eyes.  “And,” I asked raising my eyebrows quizzically.

She turned her face away, almost afraid to talk about it with me.  But I needed to know. I needed to know who could present a problem and how it could hurt her. “He’s very protective,” she said quietly “when I don’t call him he calls all over the freaking country to find out where I am. And I won’t be able to answer my cell phone since it’s still in Lance’s destroyed Mustang.  So,
therein
lies the dilemma. He will call my parents and make them worry.”  She still didn’t look me in the eyes. She looked back down at her coffee cup and then out the window.  It was as if she was afraid to talk about him more. Was she embarrassed by him? Or embarrassed about telling me about him? I couldn’t tell.

“So he’s a long distance stalker?” I joked. But she failed to see the humor in that and scowled at me in response. Her eyes, if they could have turned from green to red with rage, they would have.

“No he is not a long distance stalker!” She retorted. “He is a very nice man who hopes our relationship can become something more.  And I am not ready for that. He’s a cop. I am not sure I could marry a cop.”  Her voice was very curt and matter of fact.

“Sounds like you don’t like him the way he likes you?  Dump him and get on with your life Sonny!”  To me it was fairly simple. She didn’t want anything to do with him, then don’t. But I gathered she was too nice of a person to just not call him.   I wanted to know more about this guy. Did he really matter to her?  She sighed at my comment and looked up at me. I hoped desperately she would explain her thoughts. Either that or I wished desperately I could read her mind. But being the human I was, there was no way in hell that was going to happen.  I looked away from her and out the window. The sun had come up and the morning  sky was bright and beautiful.

“I do like him, but I am not sure my feelings for him are the same as his feelings for me. He is not what I see when I see my future.”  Honesty radiated in her words and she looked me directly in the eyes as she said this.