The Question (20 page)

Gail counted to ten before answering. She did not want to get into an argument with him about this.  “Greg,” she said softly, “I’m not pushing for marriage. I’m trying to explain to you what’s going on in my head. This is a big deal and I’m scared. I want to be with you. Never doubt that. I just need more time. It’s only been a few days since you sprung this on me. Give me a little longer to settle all the questions in my mind.”

Greg heavily exhaled.  “You’re right. I’m just so scared that you’ll say no. I mean, really, what am I offering you in terms of security? I’m not promising marriage. I flat out told you I won’t be giving you kids. On top of that, I want you to move away from everyone you know and love. What woman would go for that?”

“Not everyone,” she informed him quietly. It was the closest she’d come to saying she loved him.

“Really,” he purred. “That’s good to know.”

“When are you coming home? I miss you.”

“I miss you too. Probably another week here before I head back. I have plenty of leave time. I can stay another month and not make a dent in my time on the books.”

Gail could well believe it. Greg was something of a workaholic. “I guess it’s a good thing you’re not here. Keeps me from doing things my body’s not ready for.”

“Is Rashid taking good care of my woman for me? Do I need to come have a talk with him?” he joked.

Gail’s mind flashed back to earlier today when Rashid had “cared” for her breasts. She cleared her suddenly dry throat. “Yes, he’s taking care of me. He and Carmelita monitor me carefully to make sure I’m not overdoing. Carmelita also makes sure that I’m eating enough. If I didn’t have the babies to help with, I’d go a little crazy. There’s nothing here to do except sleep and eat.”

“That’s all you need to be doing. Don’t try to do too much too fast. Remember, you’re still getting your strength back. I don’t want you getting sick.”

“Don’t worry. Carmelita watches me like a hawk. If she even thinks I’m getting ready to do something I shouldn’t, she scolds me,” Gail said with a laugh.

“It’s getting late on your end and you need your rest. Take care of yourself and don’t be afraid to call.”

“You be careful out there and watch out for those hussies.”

He laughed as she intended him to. “Yes, ma’am. Good night, love.”

“Goodnight.” Gail flipped the phone closed and laid there holding it. She’d never been one to sit up under her family, so why was she making such a big deal out of this? Could Greg be right? Was she holding out for a wedding ring? If they were marrying, would that make her decision any easier? It was definitely something to think about.

* * * *

The next few days were relatively quiet event wise, but her mind was in turmoil. She’d almost managed to convince herself that the incident with Rashid never happened – almost, but not quite. If she could just attribute it to overly sensitive mammary glands, she wouldn’t feel so bad, but that wasn’t it. On the few occasions when she and Greg had fooled around, not once had she orgasmed from having her breasts suckled. Nor had it ever occurred with Jason, even when she was pregnant with Marcus.

She was blaming the episode on a host of contributing factors – breast engorgement, the hot towel treatment and massage followed by suckling on her already sex-deprived, hormone driven body. Yep, that’s what it was. Nothing more. There was no reason to feel guilty. It could have happened to anyone. With that firmly settled in her mind, Gail was finally able to drift off to sleep with a clear conscious. If her dreams featured a certain dark man of Arabic descent with a fascination with lactating breasts, well, that was beyond her control.

Several hours later, Gail’s feet hit the floor and her body was moving towards the door before her brain understood what was happening. At the entry of the nursery, she met up with a sleep rumpled, sexy looking Rashid, clad only in a pair of low-riding lounge pants. The shrill cry came again, jerking her back to attention. She bypassed Rashid, who’d stopped to turn on the overhead light and headed straight for Jamilah’s crib.

Jamilah was screaming at the top of her lungs. “Oh poor baby. Look at you. Rashid, bring me a towel.”

Gail was busy removing the baby’s sleep shirt, which was saturated with the milk she’d thrown up. She tugged it off and set it to the side, then went to work on the diaper. Poor thing, she had it coming out both ends.

Rashid returned with a towel. “What’s wrong with her? Why is she screaming like that?”

“She’s sick. Go run water in my tub so I can clean her.” While Rashid left to do her bidding, Gail cleaned Jamilah as much as possible with wipes before wrapping her in the towel.

When Rashid returned, she handed him the baby. “Start bathing her while I clean up the mess in here.”

Rashid took one look at the crib and left with the screaming baby. Gail stripped the crib sheets from the bed, took them along with dirty nightclothes to the laundry room, and started the washer.  When she returned, she sprayed the mattress with disinfectant and wiped it down before placing new sheets on it. Then she changed the bag in the diaper pail and took the full bag to dispose of it outside in the trashcan. 

When she returned, Rashid had Jamilah on the changing table. “Come look at this.”

Gail couldn’t prevent the gasp that escaped when she saw the baby. Jamilah covered in little red spots. They centered mostly around her mouth, on her face and neck. “That looks like a rash.”

“Look at her stomach. It’s so swollen it feels tight. Is that natural?”

“I don’t think so. You’d better call the doctor.” Gail dressed the crying baby in a fresh diaper and clean nightgown. Then she rocked her in the rocking chair, making soothing noises to calm her. She got scared when the crying turned to wheezing. Gail jumped up and rushed into Rashid’s room with the baby.

“Rashid, she doesn’t sound good. We need to take her to the hospital. Now!”

Rashid turned his attention from the phone, took one look at the baby, and hung up. “Get dressed. I’ll meet you in the nursery.”

Gail turned and ran to her room. After placing the baby in the center of her bed, she threw on the first clean thing she could find. A minute later, she had on her shoes and rushed with the baby into the nursery. Rashid already there, strapped Jamal into his car seat.

Gail placed Jamilah in her seat and packed the diaper bag while Rashid strapped her in. Rashid carried the babies down the stairs and into the garage, while Gail hurried behind.  “We’ll take yours,” he called over his shoulder.

Gail stopped long enough to grab the key to the Santa Fe off the hook. She unlocked the doors and threw her things inside before helping with the car seats. Rashid pressed the remote to open the garage door, started the car, and drummed his fingers against the steering wheel impatiently while waiting for Gail to finish and get in the car.

As she closed her door, Rashid shoved the car into gear and as soon as her seatbelt click, he careened down the driveway and swerved onto the street.

“Rashid, slow down! It won’t do the baby any good if you kill us all on the way to the hospital.” Gail had to raise her voice to be heard over the noise. Jamal awoke and must have sensed something wrong, for he was crying. Between his crying and her wheezing, it was difficult to hear.

Rashid slowed the vehicle to a less heart-pounding pace, but still drove well above the legal limit. He accomplished a thirty-minute drive in less than fifteen, and came to a screeching halt in front of the Pediatric Emergency Room entrance doors. He shoved the gear into park and opened his door.

Before he could step out of the car, Gail told him, “You take Jamilah while I park the car. I’ll take Jamal with me.”

“The car seat is too heavy for you to carry this soon after delivery,” Rashid protested.

“I brought the pouch. I’ll leave the car seat in the car.”

Rashid opened his mouth to argue. “Rashid! We don’t have time for this. Take Jamilah inside where it’s warm. I’ll be right behind you.”

With a muttered curse, he got out, unbelted the car seat, and took the infant inside. Gail drove into the emergency room garage, parked the car, and followed with Jamal in her arms. He settled down when she held him and was soon on his way back to sleep. Rashid was already in the back when she entered the crowded waiting room.

She found a seat in a corner with a view of the television and settled down to wait. She adjusted Jamal to a more comfortable position and placed the baby bag between her feet on the floor. They were there for hours. Jamal went through two feedings and diaper changes before she was called to the back to join Rashid.

Rashid was the first person Gail saw when she pushed aside the curtain. “How is she? Have they said what’s wrong?”

He rubbed his face wearily. “The doctor will return in a minute to tell us the test results. I had them get you so you could hear the diagnosis first hand.”

“Thank you. I was so worried. Oh God, look at her. She’s too small to be hooked up to so many tubes.” One tube looked like an IV drip. The other was attached to her nose and must be helping her breathe. There were various patches attached to the baby connecting her to monitors, which continuously beeped.

Rashid put his arm around her. “She’ll be fine. We got here in time. The doctor believes it was an allergic reaction. He’s trying to determine the source.”

She looked at him with tears in her eyes. “Being here again like this is my worst nightmare come to life.”

“Don’t cry. She’s fine.”

He hugged her as close as he could with the Jamal between them, and Gail leaned her head on his shoulder, needing the comfort he offered. While Jason died instantly, Marcus had lingered for days after the accident in intensive care. Seeing Jamilah like this was resurrecting all of those painful memories.

The doctor entered the room. “Excuse me. Is this the mother?”

“Yes,” Rashid said.

“Rashid mentioned you’d recently begun breastfeeding?”

“They’re mostly bottle fed, but I have been supplementing it with breast milk. Jamilah in particular. It’s the only thing that seems to calm her.”

“It’s good that you did or that young lady might not be here today.”

Rashid’s grip on Gail’s arm tightened until it was painful. “What are you saying?”

“She had a severe reaction to the formula which, although it’s rare, sometimes occurs. I recommend you switch to breastfeeding exclusively, at least for the next six months. Let’s give her digestive system a chance to develop. Is this your son?”

“Yes, this is Jamilah’s brother.”

He took the baby from Gail and examined him. “He seems to be okay but just to be safe, I’m changing his formula to soy based. If she’s allergic to cow’s enzymes, chances are he is as well. It just hasn’t caught up with him yet.”

“What about Jamilah? Is it safe to give her the formula?”

“Usually babies with milk allergies can drink the formula I’m prescribing, however, in some instances, they have an adverse reaction to it. Jamilah may be one of those babies, judging by the severity of her response. I recommend strictly breastfeeding for the first couple of months. After that, you can try integrating formula in with her breast milk—no more than an ounce at a time—to see how she handles it.” He made a notation on the chart in his hands and looked up to be sure they understood his command. He waited until both Rashid and Gail nodded their agreement before continuing.

“Don’t worry about not being able to keep up with the demand. Your body will produce as much milk as needed. In addition, there are herbs you can take to increase your supply that won’t harm the children. A lot of my colleagues think women can’t produce enough milk to handle the demand of two hungry infants. That’s not true. If you watch what you eat and drink plenty of water, your body will adjust as the demand increases.”

“Because of Jamilah’s milk allergy, you,” he motioned to Gail, “need to stay away from dairy products - no milk, milk products, or cheeses. Yogurt is good and will give you the calcium your body needs. Also watch your caffeine intake. Remember, whatever you eat goes through you and into the baby. In two weeks, I want you to follow up with your pediatrician. Any questions?”

When they replied in the negative, he wrote something out on a pad and gave it to Rashid.  “This is for the baby, in case she accidentally ingests milk and has another severe reaction.” After leaving them with some final instructions, the doctor left the cubicle.

Gail closed her eyes and turned her face into Rashid’s chest when they began removing the tubes attached to Jamilah. She couldn’t bear to watch, sure they were hurting the baby, but she couldn’t make herself leave. She needed to be there. Rashid held her and made sure Jamal wasn’t smashed between them.

“Why don’t you step outside until they’re finished?” he murmured in her ear.

She shook her head, rubbing her forehead against his chest. She needed to see for herself that Jamilah was alive and well, even though her crying was breaking Gail’s heart. She blinked back tears, determined not to cry with her. The last thing Rashid needed right now was two weeping females.

He rubbed her back soothingly.  “They’re almost finished. You’re sure you won’t step outside? I’ll make sure nothing happens to her.”