The Rancher's First Love (13 page)

“I thought you were riding?” Brody was back, this time standing behind Remington.

“I've got to head to the hospital in Braswell. Chuck Shaw is having trouble breathing.”

“I'd heard he'd been down with pneumonia.”

“Yeah. He has COPD on top of that.” Remington pulled the girth strap loose. “I told Claire I'd meet her.”

“Let me get your horse home for you. Unhook your truck from your trailer and I'll hook it up to mine and pull it back to the Rocking J.”

“You sure?”

Brody was already lifting the saddle from Splash. “Of course I'm sure. Head on out of here. Claire gets a little lost without Chuck. Is she driving herself to the hospital?”

“I hadn't thought of that. They don't have any kids living around here. I'll call her back and see if I can pick her up. Brody, I appreciate this.”

Brody tipped his hat and went back to dealing with Splash, who was never too happy about strangers handling him. “I don't mind at all, brother.”

Remington was unhooking the trailer from his truck when Samantha rode up. “Where are you going?”

“Chuck Shaw is on his way to the hospital. He's having trouble breathing. I'm going to pick up Claire and take her.”

Samantha swung a leg over the back of her horse and dropped to the ground. Remington gave her a quick look. She wore a button-up shirt of pale blue, dark jeans and boots with blue stitching. She leaned against the bed of his truck and her horse pushed in close.

“I'll go with you.”

The words took him by surprise. He pushed the tongue of the trailer off the hitch of his truck, then looked up at her, thinking he'd probably have it together if he gave himself a few seconds.

“It'll be a long night.”

“Yeah, probably. Good thing I'm used to long nights. And Claire.” She shrugged. “I've seen her around town with Chuck. She's a little lost without him.”

“Yeah, I know. He's been worried about that. He's not sure what will happen to her if he isn't there to take care of her.”

“Since Brody is already putting your horse in the trailer, I'll have him take care of mine.”

“You were going to ride tonight.”

“I'm a big girl, Rem. If I don't get to ride, if I don't get cotton candy at the fair and if I don't have a pretty doll, I'm okay. I want to go. If you want,” she added, unsure.

“I want you to go.”

She led her horse away. Remington watched as she talked to Brody, and then handed the reins off to her brother. He ignored the look Brody shot him in warning.

Whatever happened between him and Samantha, this time it would be between the two of them and not between them and her brothers.

Chapter Thirteen

I
t had been a crazy impulse, to tell Remington she would go with him to the hospital. Sitting together with Claire while Chuck was taken in for tests made them appear to be a couple. But they weren't a couple. He was a pastor, and sitting with him as he talked to Claire, encouraging her to have faith and then praying with her—it unsettled Sam.

She opened her eyes as Remington finished praying. The need to escape hit out of nowhere. It wasn't the prayer. It was the need. She hadn't needed anyone in so long. She was afraid of it.

She was afraid of not being the kind of woman he needed.

“I'm going to walk down to the children's unit and check on a few of my kids.”

“You have children?” Claire asked, her eyes narrowing.

“No, I'm a nurse, Claire. I'm going to check on the children here at the hospital.”

Claire blinked a few times. “Oh, I see. Tell them I said hello.”

“I will, sweetie. And I'll be back soon.”

Remington excused himself and followed her from the room.

“Are you okay?” His hand was on her arm.

“Of course I am. Did you know you're still wearing chaps?”

“I didn't think about it until I got in here. A pastor in chaps. Well, I guess it could be worse.”

If ever a man could pull off a visit to the hospital all scruffy and unshaved with worn leather chaps, it would have to be Remington. She loved that he smelled of dust, leather and horses.

The need to escape grew, but now for other reasons. Or maybe the same reason on a different level. Her feet weren't cooperating, though.

“You know, you actually look pretty irresistible,” she whispered.

She started to move away, to escape, but he caught her. His hand on her waist pulled her close. They stood there for a moment, then she finally managed a shaky laugh and put a safe distance between them.

“If I'm irresistible, then why do you keep pulling away,” he countered.

“Because I'm not in the market to start any new bad habits.”

“I didn't realize I was a bad habit.”

“Hmm,” she countered. “The worst. And if I snatch you up, all of these nurses will be heartbroken.”

“If you don't snatch me up, I'm going to make a fool of myself chasing after you.”

She bit down on her bottom lip, suddenly uncomfortable with the teasing because it had managed to get serious. “Don't.”

“Don't what, Sam?”

“Just don't.” She ran a hand down his arm, wishing she could explain. But it sounded silly, even to her. She was afraid of falling in love again. For twenty-five years she'd wanted someone in her life. Someone to love her. Someone she could love back. A person who would always be there for her.

She knew her brothers loved her. She knew they would come to her rescue at the drop of a hat. But that didn't ease the loneliness.

Her earliest memories were of being passed from sibling to sibling and sometimes to her father, when he was sober. She remembered crying in her bed because she was sick and no one knew. She remembered wanting to be held, to be someone's little girl. Jake had tried. Elizabeth had tried. But in the end, she'd always felt alone.

Until Remington came into her life that summer. And suddenly she'd had someone to belong to. But he'd only been there for a few short months.

Long enough to make her feel even lonelier when he went away.

There had never been anyone to take his place. No one she'd ever dated had made her feel the same, as if she belonged with someone. So it should be easy to fall back in love, to fall back into a relationship.

It would make sense.
They
would make sense.

But what if she couldn't be the person he needed her to be and he walked away again?

“I'm going to check on my kids,” she repeated. She needed to hug them, to know that they felt safe and loved.

She needed space to think.

Remington nodded as if he understood and let her go.

The pediatric wing lay in semidarkness with only a couple of nurses slipping from room to room, checking on patients. Samantha felt reassured being here where everything was familiar. Here she knew what was required of her. She knew what she could give and she knew what to expect.

She shot a questioning look at a nurse who walked out of Danny's room, chart in hand. “How is he?”

The nurse kept walking and Samantha fell in step next to her.

“Dr. Jackson is sending him to Dallas. There's a new treatment that might help, and of course everyone wants that for him.”

“Of course we do.” Samantha heard a tiny sob coming from a nearby room. “Is that Lizzy?”

Nurse Clark nodded, eyes closed. It got to them all at times, the emotion, the sadness in dealing with these children. “Another home fell through. I told them to stop telling her about homes until they know for sure that a family will take her. People tend to not see the child, they see the scars.”

“I know.” Samantha headed for Lizzy's room. When she stepped through the door into the darkened room lit only with a night-light, Lizzy turned away.

“Hey, daffodil,” Samantha whispered as she approached the bed. “I know you're awake. I heard you crying.”

A sniffle and a scarred hand brushed at her cheek before slipping beneath the blanket. “I'm not.”

Samantha sat down on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on the slim shoulder of the little girl. “I'm sorry.”

Lizzy nodded, her blond head moving on the pillow.

“Do you want me to read to you?” Because how many times in her life as a child had she longed for a mom to read to her? She couldn't be Lizzy's mom, but she could be there for a child. For a little while.

Again that little head nodded.

Samantha pulled the chain on the light and found a book on the table next to the bed. “Cinderella?”

“Too sad.”

“It has a happy ending.”

A hand slid out from beneath the blanket and swiped her nose. Samantha found a tissue and slipped it into Lizzy's hand. “Use this.”

More sniffling. “In Cinderella everyone dies.”

Samantha closed her eyes, her heart breaking at those tender, heartfelt words. She wanted to fall apart, but she needed to show Lizzy how to be strong, how to survive.

“But in the end the princess finds someone to love her and she isn't alone anymore.”

“Will someone love me?” Lizzy rolled over to face her.

“Someone already does.” Samantha kissed the little girl's forehead. “Me. And so many other people. You are loved. And you're not alone. And I believe that God has the perfect home for you.”

She meant the words. It had been a long trip, this journey of faith, of finding her way home. But Samantha believed, and she realized she'd never stopped. She'd just been so wounded it had been hard to accept that God had any idea what was going on in her life.

“Cinderella is okay.” Lizzy's small voice drew her back.

Samantha started to read, using her brightest, most cheerful whisper voice. As Lizzy's eyes got droopy, Samantha skipped ahead to the happy stuff, to the ball and the prince and the happy-ever-after. Because that's what everyone wanted, to be loved and to have that fairy-tale ending.

* * *

Remington stood outside the door, listening to Samantha comfort the little girl. When she began to read, he moved to the side, leaning against the wall and listening to her quiet, sweet voice read the story. A nurse walked by him, nodded, peeked inside the room and kept going.

The story ended with the prince and princess riding away, then Samantha quietly promising a little girl she would pray for her. He stepped into the doorway, aware that what he felt for the woman inside that room was probably written all over his face.

Samantha slipped quietly from the room. They didn't speak. He could see that her emotions were too close to the surface for conversation. But he slipped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to his side in order to give her whatever comfort she would allow.

As they left the brightly painted world of the pediatric wing, she asked, “Chuck?”

“Better. They have him on oxygen and he's resting. They're going to keep Claire here so that she won't be alone and confused. If Chuck doesn't get better soon, they think they might have to put her in a residential home for a month or two. She obviously can't be on her own.”

“No, she can't. I think most days she's okay, but she isn't entirely safe on her own.”

“I called their son. He's coming in the morning and he'll make the final decisions. He would like for them to move to Dallas but I'm not sure if they will.”

“Maybe not,” she said softly.

“You're very good with these children,” he said as he led her out the glass doors to the parking lot. It was still warm. And humid.

“I couldn't imagine doing any other job.”

“Do you think we could put the word out, that Lizzy needs a family?”

She leaned her head against his shoulder as they walked.

That gesture felt a little bit like trust. He would walk across coals for the woman at his side. He'd do the same for any child on that unit because it meant something to her.

“We could do it without giving details,” she finally answered. They stopped at his truck. “I'm sorry for walking away from you earlier.”

“Why did you?”

Remington reached for the door but didn't open it. He wanted an answer. He wanted to hear her admit whatever it was that caused her to run.

“I needed to see those children to remind myself that I'm blessed. I'm so blessed. I don't want to forget that or get too wrapped up in my own sad little story. Because I'm here. I'm happy. I have a job I love. I have people in my life who love me.”

“Yes, you do.” He reached for her. As he pulled her close, their gazes locked and he heard the hitch in her breath. He bent to touch his lips to hers but stopped just short of making contact.

Her eyes fluttered and closed, but she didn't turn away. He took that as an invitation and his lips moved over hers, tasting the sweetness of strawberry gloss as he lingered. Her hands moved to his shoulders and then up. He felt her fingers brush against the nape of his neck and then she slid them into his hair. He pulled her a little closer.

She broke the kiss, turning her head away just a fraction. “Rem.”

He waited, wondering what it was that she couldn't accept about them.

“This is just too much. I'm not sure if this is us now or us trying to find something we left behind.”

“Maybe what this is, Sam, is unfinished business. We left something behind that was meant to be and we're finding it again.”

“Picking up where we left off?” She moved her hand from his neck to his cheek. “I'm not sure it works that way. I don't think you can take a summer romance between two kids and make it into something that lasts.”

“I'm not sure why that wouldn't work.”

She scraped her fingers across the day's growth of whiskers that covered his cheeks. That gesture made him want to kiss her again.

“Rem, just the fact that you can say that is proof that we're two different people. You believe anything can happen. I question why it would.”

“What if you step to my side of the fence and try optimism?” He glanced at his watch. “It's Sunday. That means we've made it another day in the twenty-one-day challenge. Seventeen days until I'm a new habit you've formed.”

He kissed her again before she could protest. He smiled into her lips and felt her return the gesture before she pulled away.

“That isn't fair,” she charged, with a twinkle in her blue eyes.

“Maybe not, but I'm determined to have you for my princess.”

“So now you're Prince Charming?”

“Yeah, for this situation, you can call me Prince Charming. I'm here to take you away from your normal life.” He laughed. “I can't believe you have me talking in fairy tales. It isn't right. I'm going to break a horse tomorrow. The meanest horse I can find.”

“To ensure you still have your man card?”

“Yes. And once I prove that to myself, I'm going to take you to dinner.”

“I work tomorrow evening.”

“Are you coming to church in the morning?”

She shook her head. “No, I'm not. I don't want people in your church to start thinking we're a couple. They'll expect me to bring casseroles and make visits with you.”

“Would it be so bad, us as a couple?”

She glanced away from him, biting her bottom lip as she studied the night sky. “I know who I am, Rem. I'm broken. I'm flawed. I couldn't stand next to you and pretend I'm anything more than a person who has made mistakes.”

“We're all broken and flawed, Sam. That's the beauty of it. We don't have to be perfect.”

“No, of course not.” And she managed to sound as if she truly meant it. But he saw the shadow of doubt flicker through her eyes.

He opened the truck door for her because it was time for him to invoke his constitutional rights. The right to remain silent. Because when he pictured his future, he pictured her next to him.

Even if it meant burned casseroles.