The Rancher's Prospect (11 page)

“I guess not,” she admitted.

“In that case, good luck, dear. Me and my Harry, we've been together fifty-seven years today, though I never thought we'd make it past our third date.”

“Congratulations. I hope you have a wonderful anniversary celebration,” Lauren said.

Once she was alone, Lauren washed her hands and stared at herself in the mirror.

“You're an idiot,” she told herself, “but you'd better find the courage to do the right thing.”

* * *

C
ARL
WAS
SURPRISED
when an elderly lady smiled and winked at him as she walked past the table. But Lauren came soon after and he stood to pull out her chair.

“It isn't necessary,” she protested.

“My grandfather would never forgive me if I didn't behave as a gentleman,” he answered. “He has very strict ideas.”

“That's nice.”

“My grandparents will be coming out to visit Schuyler in a few months and I'm sure you'll meet them.”

“Oh, I hope they won't need to visit the clinic.”

“I meant that I want to introduce them to you.”

The uncertainty in her face seemed to grow. “I always enjoy meeting people.”

“What led you into medicine instead of ballet?” Carl asked, deciding to change the subject.

“I wanted a career that helped people, and I enjoy science. Medicine seemed to be a good combination. How did you circle back to law enforcement from your dreams of the presidency?”

He grinned. “At five it was about being the hero.”

“And later?” she asked.

“Same as you, I wanted to help people, except I decided to do it by protecting them from the bad guys.” He sighed. “But after years in various cities dealing with some of the worst that the world has to offer, I started getting cynical.”

“You've never seemed cynical to me.”

“That's good to hear. Basically, I didn't like the kind of person I was turning into and made a change. It's a good thing we didn't meet while I was cop in St. Louis. You probably wouldn't have liked me.”

Lauren didn't reply for a minute, then leaned forward, looking resolute. “Carl, you're a great guy and a terrific sheriff. Everyone says they feel safer now you're here. But I...I'm just not the right person for you to...”

Carl waited while she stopped. He had a feeling he wasn't going to enjoy what she had to say.

“On your note you wrote that you wanted to go out as friends,” she finally continued. “But now you're acting as if you're interested in a different kind of relationship.”

Carl was chagrined. Even when he was determined to restrain himself, he hadn't managed to do it. “I am.”

“It's flattering. But the thing is...with your job and who you are...you need to be with someone who has more guts. I don't have what you need. If you think about it, I couldn't even tell you that when we were dating a few months ago.”

Stillness settled over Carl. He'd been right—Lauren
had
been trying to warn him away again. He just hadn't wanted to accept it. It wasn't the first time. He'd dated more than one woman who'd decided they couldn't handle his work. But with Lauren it was far harder to be philosophical.

“I understand. In that case, friends it is,” he said, forcing a smile.

She looked relieved. “Absolutely.”

They ordered and the conversation flowed, Lauren more relaxed now. He'd never push her into something she didn't think she could handle. It was tough enough to make a relationship work and even harder for a law enforcement officer. His own parents were evidence enough of that. After all, they'd gotten divorced because of it.

* * *

S
INCE
HER
SISTER
was working Saturday morning, Tara went out to the ranch to visit Walt and do more planning for the dance.

Josh met her as she got out of the car, and she hoped he wasn't going to launch another discussion of why they shouldn't have kissed. Once was bad enough—a second time would be downright insulting.

“Grandpa told me you're working on the Boxing N dance,” he said brusquely.

It sounded like an accusation, and Tara raised her chin. “Yes. He said your mother has been asking about it, but he needed help making the arrangements, especially since there wasn't much time left to put it together.”

“I see.” Josh's face had its usual uptight expression.

“Let me guess. It's your ranch and your land, so you're upset that no one asked permission to hold a dance.” Yet as soon as Tara spoke, she knew it wasn't fair. Walt
should
have talked to his grandson about the dance; she just didn't want to acknowledge that to Josh.

“Not at all,” he returned stiffly. “But you were hired to organize the office, not plan social events. Are you expanding your résumé?”

“I'm doing it because Walt asked and he's a... That is, I just wanted to help.” Tara had stopped herself from saying that Walt was a friend, but it was true. She'd come to care about him and knew he felt the same for her.

It was a peculiar revelation. She'd done things many people would call exotic and unique, odd or amazing, but to her, being able to call someone a friend was out of the ordinary, and warmth curled inside her at the thought.

Tara's chin shot higher. Her arrangements with his grandfather weren't Josh's concern. “So what is your problem?”

He sighed. “Nothing, I guess. It's just that the dance was something Grandma loved, and it almost seems wrong to have it so soon. She hasn't even been gone for eight months.”

Tara's exasperation vanished. How could she possibly understand how it felt to lose someone she loved as much as Josh had loved his grandmother?

“Wouldn't she want the event to continue?” she asked carefully. “Walt told me it was special to her.”

Josh released a heavy breath. “Yes, that's why I told Betty at the Roundup Café that we'd have it next year.”

“The dance is in two weeks,” Tara murmured. “If you prefer, you could help your grandfather instead of me.”

Josh instantly looked alarmed. Yet a curious thought came to her... Both men cherished Evelyn's memory. Wasn't
that
the most important common ground between them...not the Boxing N Ranch?

“I think Grandpa would prefer working with you,” Josh said, “but I'd like to be the one who pays for the time you spend on making the party arrangements.”

Though anger welled in Tara, she tried not to let it take control.

“The other day I saw an article from something called the
Schuyler Outpost
, dated August 20, 1892,” she commented casually. “It talked about hoof-and-mouth disease.”

Josh's eyebrows drew together in confusion. “The
Outpost
was the town newspaper back then. Luckily we've never had an outbreak of hoof-and-mouth in the area.”

“I disagree... I think
you
have a raging infection right now. You have a lot of nerve trying to pay me for doing Walt a favor. He's my friend and I'm glad to work with him on this.” She spoke more loudly than she'd intended.

A dull red crept up Josh's neck. “I wasn't trying to insult you.”

“Maybe so, but stop making assumptions about me and everyone else,” she advised tightly.

With that, she turned and unlocked the office door to wait for Walt.

* * *

L
AUREN
FINISHED
HER
SHIFT
at the clinic and walked back to her apartment. She was unbelievably tired. Now that the workday was over, her depression came rushing back, along with exhaustion. It was amazing how much energy it had required to push her feelings aside and focus on patients.

She'd done what was necessary and told Carl to find someone who was strong enough to stand by his side and be a true partner. He didn't need a wimp who'd panic because he was in danger or couldn't even voice her opinion if she disagreed with him.

Sometimes doing the right thing was a real “pain in the neck traveling south,” as Tara sometimes described it.

Her sister was sitting in the grassy area in front of the apartment, reading a book. Despite everything on her mind, it made Lauren feel good that her sister would simply drop by for a visit.

“Hey.”

“Hey, back.” Tara cocked her head and frowned. “What's up? You look as if something is wrong.”

Lauren's eyes widened. She'd become an expert at hiding unpleasant feelings from people in case they rocked the boat. How had Tara guessed something was going on beneath the mask?

“I...” She bit her lip and blinked back a threatening tear. Part of her wanted to pour everything out to her sister, and another part still worried that Tara would think less of her.

Tara stood and tucked her book in a bag. “Maybe we should go inside to talk.”

Mutely Lauren nodded. She unlocked her door, and they went into the apartment. Sinking into the couch, she tucked her legs under her and watched as Tara took the chair opposite.

“Okay,” she said, “what's wrong?”

“It's truly silly.” Lauren gulped. “It isn't as if I broke up with Carl. We weren't even going out, not really.”

Tara winced. “I'm afraid this is my fault. In spite of what you said about not clicking, I thought you liked him. So when he asked for advice, I thought he should give it another try. I'm so sorry.”

“Don't blame yourself. I don't want to like him, but I do,” Lauren admitted.

“Then what happened?”

“Nothing. I just told him that anything other than friendship was out of the question.”

“Is this about you thinking you aren't bold enough?”

Lauren nodded miserably. “Yes, though it's also partly because his work is so dangerous. He could get hurt or killed whenever he goes on duty. Even when he isn't on duty, he's on duty. You should have seen him break up a fistfight one time when we were at the movies. But it's a lot more than that. I'm scared of arguments,” she admitted in a rush. “Even when people have small disagreements I get cold chills.”

“Why does conflict bother you so much?” Tara asked gently.

“My folks. It was wonderful when they adopted me, but their marriage was in trouble, even then. They argued constantly, and it got to the point that I cringed if anyone raised their voice or got upset. It always felt as if everything was about to get ripped away.”

Instead of scorn, Lauren saw sympathy in Tara's eyes. “That must have been awful. You've never said anything about it.”

“I...didn't want to tell you because...well, I didn't want you to think I was stupid. Not to mention it seems selfish to complain about my family when you never got adopted. So here we are—you're brave and I'm nothing but a coward.”

She was stunned when Tara laughed. “Good grief, Lauren. In some ways you're braver than me. I would
never
have the nerve to give someone a shot or stitch up an injury. But it doesn't matter, anyhow. You're my sister. I've got my own hang-ups from childhood, and yours aren't any worse than mine.”

Lauren slowly let the air out of her lungs. “Except you're always confident and put together.”

“I learned early not to show weakness. That way nobody can hurt you, because they can't find anything to exploit.”

It made Lauren sad, perhaps because Tara sounded so calm and matter-of-fact. For herself, she only remembered living in one foster home before being adopted. Children had come and gone in the Baxter household, and while they had made it clear they were guardians, not real parents, they'd been kind people.

“What did Carl say when you told him you just wanted friendship?” Tara asked.

“He was nice. I mean, he didn't get upset or anything.”

Curiously, Lauren knew she might feel better if Carl had pushed harder, but he'd accepted her decision without protest. She supposed that deep down, a lot of women wanted someone who would fight for them, no matter how many barriers were put in their way.

Her spirits lifted marginally as she and Tara ate dinner together. They
were
growing closer. Tara had even recognized she was upset. Before, Emily was the only person who would have seen how she was really feeling.

It was something she could hug to herself when she tried to sleep that night.

* * *

J
OSH
SAT
ON
THE
porch of the foreman's house late into the evening, staring toward his grandparents' home. At some point he'd have to either build his own place or build another one for the foreman. It was okay for now. Clyde and his wife were buying a home in Schuyler and didn't want to move out to the Boxing N. Josh could cover any emergencies that came up at night, and Clyde could always be reached by phone if needed.

At the moment there were other issues to consider.

The annual party had become a well-established tradition, starting with his grandparents' marriage, though the Boxing N had hosted community barn dances for over a hundred years. And it seemed as if everyone had been sad that it might not take place.

But Josh's frustration had mounted that morning when one of the hands mentioned he was supposed to mow the pasture for the event and fill the gopher holes. Once more, things were happening on the ranch without his permission, even without his knowledge. Then he'd learned that Tara was involved, and it had almost felt as if she was taking Grandma Evelyn's place.

Why hadn't Walt asked his daughter to help? Sarah McGregor should be the one planning and organizing, not a prickly city woman.

Suddenly realizing his mom might be upset about it, Josh called her. But before he could say anything about the party, she thanked him for talking his grandfather into holding it, refusing to believe he hadn't been involved in Walt's decision. She felt it was a good sign that he was taking matters into his own hands.