The Reckoning, A Wilde Brothers Christmas (The Wilde Brothers Book 4) (2 page)

“Hmm, well, the girls will be happy to have you early when they open their presents. You are staying, right?” Logan walked to the fridge and pulled it open to lift out two cans of beer. He stopped in front of Jake and held one out, waiting as if he knew Jake would take it, which, of course, he did.

Jake popped the top and watched a slow, easy smile touch his brother’s lips. Logan could be a smug bastard sometimes.

“So what is it, Jake, girl trouble or work trouble?” Logan asked. He opened his own beer and waited.

“Both,” Jake replied.

Baby Jake was far from small now, Logan realized as he stared down at his brother, a six-foot-two totally ripped football star who made the chair he sat in look as if it had been made for a child. His thick hair had enough natural wave to give it that messy look Logan knew women loved. He’d seen them swarming around Jake, but then, there was something about the swagger of an athlete that brought hordes of women out from everywhere.

But Jake had two sides to him, and Logan wondered at times whether he really understood who his brother was. Going from charming to moody—times when his quiet brother preferred to hold up a wall in the back of the room and just watch people from a distance—was a balancing act Jake pulled off most times. Those who didn’t know him well believed he was a people person, the life of the party, but that was an illusion Jake maintained carefully, and Logan knew all too well that he could only prop up that facade for so long before he became squirrelly, needing to go off someplace alone and brood.

For Logan, seeing his brother on his doorstep a few days before Christmas was a good thing, except Jake was about as forthcoming as your typical woman, who could keep every secret known to mankind. Something had made him go out of his way to take a detour from the main highway to McKay, and Logan didn’t buy that load of crap about “just passing by the sign,” especially on slick winter roads. Whatever it was that was bothering him had to be pretty heavy to have him landing on Logan’s doorstep early.

Logan pulled the back of the chair out as he felt his leg start to ache, just as it did every night about this time. He wouldn’t give it a rest even after the doctors told him to ease up, but he knew that with the injuries he’d sustained, he was crazy to push himself as if he were indestructible. He’d already beaten their odds, though. They’d said he’d never walk on that leg again, and he’d proven them wrong the first of many times when he fought through the pain every day until he could move. He’d regained the muscle that had wasted away after months holed up in a hospital bed.

“How’s your leg doing?” Jake asked, just as everyone in his family did every time they saw him.

Logan stuck it out and squeezed his thigh to relieve the painful throbbing before taking a drink from his open beer. “Fine,” he replied. “Let’s say we talk about the real reason you drove a hundred miles out of your way to see me instead of going to Mom and Dad’s like you were supposed to. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy you’re here, but something’s going on with you. I wondered last week when I called. You sounded off.”

Jake tapped his fingers on the table—large hands just like Logan’s. “My contract is up, and it looks like I’m going to be traded down to Arizona,” he said. The fact was that he was nervous he was never even going to be picked up again. His dynamite career in pro-football was over before it had even started.

Logan took another drink, watching him. “Arizona’s not so bad. Good team. Nice and hot there, too, away from all the rain and damp of Seattle.” His leg ached as the thought of that damp, wet cold settled in his limbs. No, Logan would never last there. In fact, he was the one who needed a dry climate like Arizona.

“I asked Jill to marry me,” Jake said. He glanced away, squeezing his can a bit before finishing off the beer. He then pushed out of his chair and put the empty can on the counter with a clink. He opened the fridge, pulled out two more beers, and walked back to the table, setting one in front of Logan.

“Jill is who again?” Logan said. He hoped he was wrong, but he was pretty sure Jill was the girl who used to date Samuel.

“Nice girl. You met her when she was with Samuel.” Jake cleared his throat. “He treated her like crap, ripped out her heart, flaunting another woman in front of her. She dumped his ass good, and we’ve been together ever since.”

He wondered, by the way Jake kept glancing at him, if he was carrying some guilt. Then Logan realized he was looking for his approval. “You know, Jake, there’s one thing about family—you, me, Joe, Ben, and Samuel. We’re brothers, and we’ll always be brothers. Whatever it is you’re doing with the woman who used to date your brother, you need to make sure you’re doing it for the right reason. Don’t let it come between you and Samuel.”

Jake slammed his beer on the table, and the liquid sloshed over and puddled. “Look, Samuel has no reason to be jealous. He made it clear to Jill that he wasn’t interested in her when he started hitting on someone else in front of her.” He slapped his hand on the table for emphasis. “I was there. If he wasn’t my brother, I would have decked him. She did what any reasonable woman with a lick of self-esteem should: She dumped him, and—”

“And you were there to pick up the pieces. Is that what you’re saying?” Logan wasn’t interested in taking sides, but he knew this was something that could pit brother against brother.

“I didn’t go looking for this relationship. I was there when he ripped her heart out. We were friends, I liked her, she needed a shoulder to cry on, and it just kind of happened.” He was sounding awfully defensive.

“Well, that’s usually what happens when you go in to rescue a woman and then keep seeing her—your brother’s girlfriend, no less. You need to tell Samuel,” Logan said. He could see from the way Jake was downing his second beer that there was more going on, but maybe he didn’t want to know. Maybe Jake had always carried a torch for his brother’s girl. He and Samuel had once been joined at the hip, doing everything together, living in the same city, Seattle. This wasn’t good, not good at all. “Jake?”

His baby brother squeezed the empty beer can and then flicked his gaze up to Logan. His blue eyes were tinged with gold and a sadness he couldn’t hide. “No point,” he muttered. “She said no.”

Logan shoved his full can of beer in front of Jake. “Here, I think you need this more than me. So what happened?”

“She said she couldn’t because she still has feelings for Samuel.”

“Well then, maybe you’re better off she said no. You’re playing with fire, Jake. Jill could have pit you against Samuel, and he’s your brother. Something like this would never have worked. You know that.”

“What the hell do you know?” he shouted, slamming his fist on the table and rattling the beer cans. He flushed, realizing the girls and Julia were trying to sleep. “Sorry,” he said. Then he started to get up. “Maybe I should go.”

“You’ve just downed two beers, and you’ve been driving for how long? You’re tired, not to mention it’s dark and late. Don’t be stupid. You’re staying. Obviously, this has you so—”

The phone started ringing, and the last thing Logan wanted was for it to wake up Julia. He scraped back his chair and grabbed it before it could ring again. “Hello?”

“Logan, it’s Samuel.”

Logan wondered if his brother’s ears were burning—Samuel, the new lawyer, the brother with the million-dollar smile, who lived on the edge. “Samuel,” he said, looking at Jake, who watched him with interest.

“I’m supposed to be up at Mom and Dad’s, but I can’t make it. I’m coming straight to your place tomorrow morning,” Samuel said.

“Did you call Mom so she knows you’re not showing up?”

“No, called you first. Something’s come up here. Jake can bring them down.” He sounded distracted, edgy. What was going on with him?

Logan let the phone slide from his mouth as he shook his head, glancing up at the ceiling. “No, he can’t, because he’s here already,” he said. Maybe it was past time he sat the two of them together in a room so they could hash this out.

“Well, that’s just great. As if I don’t have enough to do,” Samuel muttered on the other end and sighed. “You know Mom and Dad can drive down themselves.”

Yeah, they could, except Logan had insisted one of the brothers stop in and pick them up. He should have pressed more, because his dad was one of those men who didn’t like others driving him anywhere. “Mom and Dad are getting older, Samuel. There’s a ton of snow up that way. It’s cold and icy, and it would be nice if you and Jake could actually stick to the plan. I suppose Joe and Margaret could stop in on their way down. I’ll call them.” Logan was tired of trying to organize everyone. He had Julia to think about, so he couldn’t be the one driving up there to get them. Any other time, he’d have just gone, but the doc had said the baby was due on New Year’s. Julia was so large now, he didn’t know how much longer she could go.

“Look, I don’t mean to dump this on you,” Samuel said. “I mean, Ben could bring them, too. Him and Carrie are both in Boise.”

“Yes, but Ben’s not coming this year. He’s going to Carrie’s dad’s, remember?”

“No, I don’t remember. I thought he changed his mind.” Now he sounded annoyed.

Logan touched his forehead, glancing at the clock—9:30 p.m. His mom and dad would be getting ready for bed and also worrying about where his two numbskull brothers were. “Call Mom, tell her you’re not coming, and make sure you show up here for Christmas,” he said.

He waited until his brother hung up, wondering if there was more to Jake and Samuel not showing up at their parents’ together. Was it because of this rift he believed was growing between them? “Don’t you think Mom has enough to worry about, Jake, without you and Samuel and whatever this is going on between you?” Logan gestured vaguely and then dialed his mom.

Jake gave him a look as if he were overreacting. “What? Seriously, Samuel not going isn’t my problem.”

Logan pinned Jake with one of his take-no-shit stares, the one he had often levelled on the wet-behind-the-ears newbies who showed up on his training team when he was a marine.

“Hello, Logan?” His mother answered the phone before it finished ringing. “Let me guess: You have Jake and Samuel?” She sounded annoyed. That wasn’t good.

“Jake’s here. Samuel just called, said something came up and he’s going to come straight here from Seattle.” He could feel his mother’s disappointment through the phone even though he couldn’t see her. “I’ll call Joe, see if he can stop in and pick you up in the morning.” He felt like he needed to organize them, too. For a minute, he considered leaving Jake here with Julia to drive up and get them, but he had to remind himself he couldn’t do that. On Christmas morning, he needed to be here for Julia, for the girls.

“Don’t worry yourself. Joe and Margaret don’t have room in that pickup he drives, and besides, it’s not that far. We’ll get ourselves there after breakfast. Now, tell me, how Julia is doing?”

Maybe he was reading too much into his mother’s tone, but he thought she didn’t want his dad driving. Maybe it was just his worries talking, though. “She’s tired. Fine, though. She’ll be happy to see everyone.” He hoped so, anyway. She’d been okay with his family before and didn’t mind having them around, except she was tired and cranky and hadn’t been sleeping well. He was worried, waking every time she moved.

“Oh, I’m sure she is. Just tell her to stay off her feet. Margaret and I’ll help out and do the cooking when we get there. I remember what it was like at the end of my pregnancies with you boys, and Christmas isn’t much fun when you’re almost due.” She was reading the situation right.

“Thanks, Mom. I’ll let her know.” Logan set the phone back in the charger, and Jake stood up and shrugged out of his coat. Logan could tell by the way he wouldn’t look at him that Jake was feeling guilty for Mom now, too. “You’re off the hook. They’re going to drive themselves.” He tapped the counter with his fingers, taking in his youngest brother, the baby who was bigger than all of them. He was moody, broody, at times doing things that had Logan wondering what he was thinking—like going after a woman who had once been involved with his brother. “Well, what do you say we turn in? Tomorrow is going to be a big day, and I don’t want Julia lifting a finger.”

When he had both brothers here on Christmas Day, Logan planned to have a word with them outside and clear the air between them.

“What’s wrong?” Logan asked, wondering if his voice sounded as tired as he was.

Julia was up again, sitting at the edge of the bed. “Can’t sleep. Heartburn, I think. I shouldn’t have had that second bowl of stew.”

Logan glanced at the bedside clock flashing 2:30 a.m. At this rate, it would be a wonder if they had more than a few hours’ sleep before the girls were bouncing into their room in the morning, waking them up to dig into their stockings and rip open their presents. He wanted to see their faces and enjoy this first Christmas with his new family, the girls and Julia.

He groaned as he slid out of bed and went into the bathroom for the antacid. He grabbed the container and took out two tablets before wandering in the dark back to where Julia was sitting. Her belly was so round with his child, he was in awe of the miracle. “Here, take these.” He slid the tablets into her hand, and she tossed them in her mouth and chewed. Logan grabbed two of the pillows sitting on the chair and added them to the stack Julia already slept on. “Let’s see if this will help.”

“You know, I can’t wait to have this baby so I can sleep on my back again and breathe.” She slid over onto her side, propped up by all the pillows.

Logan pulled the quilt up and went around to his side. “Better?” he asked.

“I’m sorry, Logan. I keep waking you.”

He scooted in beside her and slipped his hand under her nightgown to rub her back. “Don’t apologize, honey. You need some sleep.”

Julia sighed as he rubbed.

“How does that feel?”

“Better, thank you.” She reached around and squeezed his hand, then pulled it around over her swollen belly. “So tell me, what’s going on with your brother?”

He wondered how she had picked up on it, because he hadn’t shared what Jake had dumped on him. No, he planned to have it out with his brothers tomorrow so there was no chance of any tension or fights happening around his wife or the twins. This was a big day, the first in years that the Wildes were all together, and he wanted everyone to get along.

“Just something between Jake and Samuel. I hope it won’t become a problem.”

Julia had long since lost the ability to move gracefully, so when she shimmied around in the bed, the mattress bounced and she bumped Logan until she faced him. “What problem?” she asked.

Why had he said anything? “Julia, go to sleep. It’s Christmas tomorrow. We have a full house, and you’re going to be exhausted as it is.”

But she didn’t let it go. She reached out and shook his arm, then ran her hand over his chest. “I can’t go back to sleep, so you may as well tell me.” She was tapping her fingers on his chest now, so he covered her hand with his, feeling the small diamond ring he’d slipped on her finger when he married her.

“Jake proposed to a girl named Jill. Apparently she was dating Samuel, and then he did something to push her away. Evidently, my baby brother was there to pick up the pieces, and she went right into his arms. She turned him down, though, which was a good thing, I think.” He didn’t know what to make of it, but he wasn’t entirely comfortable with Jill jumping from one brother to the next.

“Logan, why do all your brothers come to you when something’s wrong?” She sounded worried about something—and far too awake.

“They always have. It’s just…” He had never told her what his dad had done, leaving them as kids. Logan had been just a teenager, having to step in and keep everyone together.

“What is it? There’s a lot you don’t share, Logan, and I haven’t pushed. Your time in Iraq I know you won’t talk about, but family, whatever stuff this is, why won’t you share it?” She sounded almost hurt.

“Julia, honey, it’s the past. It’s done.” He hoped that would be enough and she’d leave it alone, but when she started to get up, he said, “What are you doing?”

“I asked you what was wrong. You should feel comfortable sharing, but you keep brushing me off. I know your brothers always come to you, and I just want to know why. I didn’t think much of it until now, but when you’re evading and not wanting to tell me what’s going on, I know I’m not part of this family.”

Here we go.
In a minute she’d start crying, he was sure. “Come on. Lie down. Don’t get up,” he said. “My dad left us when we were kids. Him and Mom split.”

Julia not only didn’t lie back down, she pushed her way up until she was sitting beside him. “What? I didn’t know that. Your mom and dad are together now.” She sounded truly put out, truly upset.

“Hey, it’s over. It’s something from the past. Every family has something they don’t talk about, some secret or something that’s scarred them.”

“I don’t understand. So why do your brothers come to you and not go to your dad? What happened?”

He realized she wasn’t going to let him get any sleep until he told her, so he propped up his pillows until he was leaning against the headboard and reached for her, settling her in his arms. Her cheeks brushed his bare chest, and he could feel her looking up at him. “I don’t know what went on between Mom and Dad, but one day, Dad packed a bag and drove away in our beat-up pickup. Mom was a mess, crying. I was fourteen at the time, just a kid who’d enjoyed being a teenager until I had to grow up overnight and become the man of the house. Jake was so young—we all were, but Jake had just started school. He was a baby.” He sighed, thinking of his brothers and how terrified they had been, watching their dad leave. Hell, he had been terrified, too, but he hadn’t been able to show it. He’d had to be the strong one.

“Why did he leave? How long did your dad stay away?”

He could feel her breath whisper across his chest, and it was so natural to smooth back her hair and kiss the top of her head. “I think it was close to a year. It was hard. There wasn’t enough food, and Dad didn’t come often. I learned to take care of problems for my brothers. Mom had to get a job, and she barely made enough. Dad was supposed to give her money, you know.”

“You mean child support?” She started to sit up again, and he could feel her tension. She was getting agitated.

“Just lie here and relax. It was a long time ago, Julia,” he said. “Yes, it was money for us, to feed us, but it was such a mess, the whole thing between Mom and Dad. Dad worked at the lumber mill, and he got by, but he wasn’t wealthy. One day, Mom sent me with some of his things to the place he was renting, a small piece-of-shit farmhouse not far from us. I planned on talking to him, asking him to come home, because I listened to Mom cry at night. I know she didn’t think I heard, but I did. I practiced what I was going to say as I went up those rotted back steps, and I started to knock as I looked through the small window in the door. There was Dad, screwing some woman on the kitchen table.”

He felt his stomach tighten as if he were reliving that horrible, awful moment. He’d stumbled from that step and fallen to his knees, puking in the overgrown bushes. Then the back door had ripped open and his dad had stood there with a pained look on his face. Logan had just tossed him the shaving kit his mother had sent, and then he’d run, listening to his father’s pleas echo after him.

“Logan, I’m so sorry. That had to be awful. Your mother took him back after he did that?”

How could he explain? He’d never told anyone but Ben, and that had been only a few months ago, when that oil scandal had ended Ben’s career. No, his mother had started to date—only once, though, because when his dad found out that same week, he stopped paying child support. That was the first time Logan had hunted out of season, ditching school to kill a deer. At least they’d been able to eat.

“I never told Mom what I saw. It would have killed her, and I couldn’t do that. She had so much on her plate looking after us.” He sighed, wondering what would have happened if his mother had known. It would have changed the dynamics, he was sure, of so many choices he’d made. He wouldn’t have joined the military, first of all, which was a choice he’d made after reaching an impasse with his dad. No, there were so many things he would have done differently. He probably wouldn’t be married to Julia now. He kissed her again because he couldn’t imagine a life without her.

“So you carried that secret all these years?” she said. “Your dad knows—well, obviously. So that’s why your brothers come to you: You were there for them. What happened when your dad came back? You were no longer the man of the house, suddenly a son again.” She said it as if she knew what he’d lived through.

“Yeah, I was suddenly on the outside looking in.” He rubbed her shoulder as her belly poked into his side. One of her legs was tossed over his. “Go to sleep.”

She reached up and flattened her palm on his chest. “I love you, Logan, scars and all, you know?” She looked up at him.

“I know. Now go to sleep.”

He didn’t know how long they lay there together as he held her, listening to her breathing even out, thinking about that first Christmas without their dad or a full cupboard.