The Return of Brody McBride (11 page)

“Thanks for saving me a seat.”

“Will you come and see our room after dinner?” Dawn asked. “We have pictures.”

“I’d love to see your room, honey. What pictures do you want to show me?”

“Of us,” Autumn said in her sweetly soft voice as she stared at her hands.

Brody brushed his hand softly down Autumn’s golden hair and encouraged her to talk to him. “I’d love to see them, honey. Are they pictures your mom took?”

“She made us books so we could show you us growing up if you wanted us,” Autumn said to her hands.

Brody put his fingertip to her chin and tilted her face up to his. Giving the moment and his voice the solemnity it deserved, he said, looking right into her eyes, “I want you very much. You’re my daughter. I love you, and nothing will ever change that.”

“Roxy didn’t want me. Why should you?”

Autumn’s bottom lip trembled. A single tear slid down her cheek. Brody glanced across the table, Rain’s eyes glassed over, and she slumped in her seat. She’d done everything in her power to be the mother Autumn deserved, but nothing could take away the hurt of knowing your own mother didn’t want you. And possibly your father, too.

Brody thought of his own father and the cold way he’d treated him. Brody tried everything to get his father’s attention, one elusive kind word, but nothing worked. He’d grown up, thinking he was worthless, but Rain showed him he deserved to be loved.

He scooted his chair back and went with his gut instinct. It had saved his ass a number of times, and he hoped it saved him with his daughter now. Sliding his hands under her arms, he hauled her out of her chair, turned her toward him, and sat her on his lap. Using his finger again, he tilted her wobbly chin up, so she saw the truth in him.

“I owe you an apology.”

“Because you didn’t know about us?”

“For that, absolutely. I am more sorry than you’ll ever know I didn’t know about you. If I had, I would have been with you every day. I don’t know what happened with Roxy and how you ended up with Rain . . .”

“I hate her. She . . .”

“Autumn,” Rain snapped. Brody glared across the table at her. “I will talk to your father about Roxy, honey. It’s a difficult story, and better left for me to explain.”

Brody noted Autumn’s stiff posture and the way she couldn’t look at him after being scolded by her mother. He rubbed his hands up and down her arms until she met his eyes again. “Your mom will fill me in about Roxy, baby girl. Right now, I want you to listen. In my life, I’ve done a lot of bad things.”

“Like leaving Mom?” Dawn asked.

Brody turned and gazed down at his daughter and didn’t hide his sorrow. “That’s the worst thing I ever did. Not only because of you two, but because I didn’t want to leave her. As much as I hurt your mom, I hurt myself more.”

“Brody . . .”

“What, Rain? Don’t tell them we loved each other, and I screwed it all up, left you when all I wanted was to spend my life with you. I missed out on our girls and being with you all this time. Shouldn’t they know that sometimes ‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t fix things?” He looked at both girls in turn and told them the cold hard truth. “Sometimes girls, you hurt someone so much you have to do something really hard, never knowing if it’ll be enough.”

“What?” Dawn asked.

“Earn back their trust.”

“How?” Autumn asked him, though he watched Rain.

“That’s the hard part, baby girl. I have to show your mom I can be trusted by telling the truth, even when it’s not easy. I have to show her she can count on me when she needs me. If I tell her I’ll do something, I have to make sure I do it. The really hard one, when I make her a promise, I have to keep it.”

“Brody, the only promise I need is the one telling me you’ll never lie to these girls, even if you have to tell them you’re leaving again.”

“I’m not leaving. I came back for you, Rain. Dawn and Autumn may change everything, but it doesn’t change the fact I still love you and want you back.”

“Brody, don’t,” Rain warned.

Relenting, they wouldn’t settle anything this way. “You see, girls, I haven’t earned your mother’s trust, so it’s hard for her to believe in the words I say. But I will make her believe in them and me again.”

“Because you love her,” Dawn added.

“Because I love all of you,” he told her. Then he focused on Autumn, so lovely and sad under it all. “The reason I owe you an apology, Autumn, I’m sorry I didn’t give you to Rain in the first place. I’d never wish you away, baby girl, but I would wish Rain as your mother.”

“I guess you got your wish,” Autumn said, lifting her face to his. “She is my mom. Please don’t take me away from her.”

Brody pulled Autumn to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. “I’d never do that, baby girl. I promise,” he added, his gaze locked with Rain’s.

Rain’s throat worked to swallow the knot, the same one in his own. Putting the evening back on track, she said, “Dawn, why don’t you tell your dad about softball.”

Brody brushed his hands down Autumn’s back. She felt so good pressed to his chest. He picked her up and set her back in her seat, smiling when she said, “You’re really strong.”

“I’ve been fighting bad guys.” He brushed his hand through her golden locks. To ensure no one asked about his military career, he turned to Dawn. “So, baby girl, you play softball?”

“We both do.” Dawn warmed to the subject and his attention. “Mom coaches. I play shortstop, like you used to in high school. Autumn plays first base.”

Brody turned to his shy little daughter with a surprised smile. “You play first. That’s a tough position.”

“Mom taught me how to catch and be fast.” The warm, genuine smile of pride showed Brody just how much Rain’s love had done to help Autumn overcome being born to Roxy. He needed to find out what terrible thing she’d done to his daughter. Whatever it was, it was inexcusable to leave a child feeling the way Autumn felt about herself. As her father, he aimed to make sure she knew he wanted her as much as Rain did.

“When do you guys play?”

“We have practice on Tuesday and Thursday and a game on Saturday,” Dawn said around a mouthful of spaghetti. He handed her a napkin to wipe her chin and smiled at her sauce-smeared face.

“Well, I’ll be there. I can’t wait to see you girls in action.”

“Uncle Owen and Pop come to watch us play, too,” Autumn added.

“Then it’ll be a real family affair.” Brody hoped the girls were finally seeing he really wanted to be part of their lives. He hated to admit, Owen had been right. Rain may have shut the door in his face, but she’d left all the windows open for him to come back inside and be a part of this family. He sat back, took a bite of Rain’s outstanding spaghetti. Content for the first time in a long time, sitting down to a simple meal, surrounded by his brother, Rain, Pop, and his girls, he finally felt like he was home.

“So, Brody, what are your immediate plans?” Pop asked.

The weight of that question settled over him. As Rain’s father, Pop would be the one person watching him closely. Any wrong move, and he’d have to answer. Willing to give him a second chance, Pop wouldn’t overlook another transgression. If he stomped on Rain’s heart again, Pop would have him paying for it and the past with a vengeance. Nothing Brody wouldn’t deserve. This time, he wouldn’t self-destruct, he vowed. This time, he’d get it right.

“I’m adding on to the cabin. I’ve already updated the old appliances, bought a bunch of necessities. Fixed up the yard and driveway over the last couple of days. The place is livable, but not nearly big enough for me and my girls,” he said, ignoring Rain’s sideways glance.

“Can we come and visit you?” Dawn asked.

“Absolutely. I’ll have to work it out with your mom, but we’ll spend a lot of time together,” Brody promised. Every day, forever, if he had anything to say about it.

“Once the cabin is expanded, I plan on adding a new barn.”

“Can we have a dog?” Dawn asked.

When he looked at her and Autumn’s bright faces he wanted to laugh.

“Dawn, we talked about this,” Rain said through tight lips.

“We can’t afford the food and vet bills.” Autumn repeated what both girls had obviously been told on numerous occasions. Brody had more money than he knew what to do with, but Rain scrimped by on next to nothing raising his girls alone. Just another reason for her to hate him for leaving her behind.

“How about a horse,” Brody said. “It won’t be right away, but eventually we’ll fill the stables, and you girls can come out, and I’ll teach you to ride just like I taught your mother. She loves horses.”

“Can we name them?” Dawn asked, her eyes bright, her smile bigger than he’d ever seen.

“Sure.”

Rain picked up her empty plate, Owen’s, and Pop’s, and turned her back on the table and fled into the kitchen. It pissed him off when Owen went after her.

“How’s business?” Pop asked, pulling his gaze back from the kitchen door. “Tell me about your company.”

Brody spent the next twenty minutes filling in Pop about the company he owned, helping the girls finish their dinners, and fuming that he didn’t know what was going on between his brother and the woman he loved more than his own life.

O
WEN WALKED INTO
the kitchen behind Rain. With her palms planted against the sink, her head down between her shoulders, she spoke to her feet. “I can’t afford to get them a dog, but he can buy them a stable full of horses. Why does that make me feel like such a failure when raising them the best I can has nothing to do with money?”

“You love them and want the best of everything for them.”

She stood tall and turned to Owen, her back pressed against the sink. “It hurts, Owen. To know I’ve done everything I can to give them a good life, and I still come up short. Autumn still feels unwanted.”

“You give them the one thing they both need more than anything. You love them. They’ve never gone without what’s really important.” She wasn’t buying it and he noticed. “I told you three years ago we could file papers and get him to pay child support. You didn’t want to.”

“You know why I did that.”

“Because you needed to protect Autumn. She needed you and the love and stability you give to her. If Brody exercised his rights and took her after what happened with Roxy, that could have been very damaging for Autumn.”

“Keep your voice down,” Rain admonished and peered through the door to make sure no one overheard them. “He couldn’t take care of her. They were shipping him off to Afghanistan.”

“So you sacrificed asking for the money and making life easier. You did that for her. Don’t second guess yourself now.”

“He has the money to take them away from me. He can hire lawyers, prove I knew where he was and kept them from him.”

“Autumn asked him point blank if he intends to take her away from you. He told her no. I, for one, believe him. He wants to build a life with you and those girls.”

“Yes, because of them.”

“No. Because of you and what you’ve always given him.”

“I gave him a daughter.”

“You gave him a hell of a lot more. You see him for who he is and you love him anyway. He knows what a gift that is.”

“He didn’t want it, threw it back in my face when we were so close to having everything.”

“He gave into that voice in his head telling him he’s nothing.”

“That’s your father talking. Not him.”

“It’s a powerful voice. Look at Autumn. Her mother’s betrayal is in her head and in her heart. Words and actions change us. Your love has changed Autumn, allowed her to believe she’s wanted and loved. It’s what you did for Brody all those years ago. It’s what he’s looking for now. He’s broken inside, Rain. There’re new voices in his head. Voices carrying on a war he left behind physically, but can’t escape. He loses himself. I think when he looks at you, he remembers who he is. I think he needs that, he needs you.”

“You want me to forget what he did and everything that’s happened. Forget everything I gave up.”

“I want you to remember you gave up those things for Dawn and Autumn, and given the chance to have them back, you’d still choose those girls.

“You can’t change the past. You’ve always known you can’t change Brody. If you look close, you’ll see he changed himself.”

“Yeah, he’s come back a war hero and a business tycoon,” she said flippantly.

“He’s those things and a lot more. He’s more the man you saw hiding beneath the surface, he’s embraced the good in him. He’s ready to atone for the past, where he normally would have told anyone but you to go to hell.”

“He did tell me to go to hell the night he slept with Roxy.”

“Bullshit. He broke up with you before you broke it off with him and left for school, the old man was doing what he’d always done, and Roxy pushed him over the edge he’d been standing on for months.”

“That’s no excuse.”

“When did Brody have an excuse for anything he did?”

Never. If he stayed out all night with his buddies, drinking and fooling around out at the lake, and showed up late to school or work the next morning, no big deal. “No one died,” he’d say. He shoved a boy up against a locker and braced his arm across the guy’s throat and growled, “Stop staring at her ass.” She pulled him off the poor guy, who’d done nothing but glance at her. Brody looked at her and smiled. “I’m the only one who gets to look.” He swept his gaze over her in one long, hot sweep and made her blush. He laughed, unapologetic for his blatant territorial behavior.

When he did something sweet, like bringing her lunch when she worked at her dad’s shop on the weekend, he shrugged off her thanks with a simple, “You need to eat.” Even though he must have been bored out of his skull, he’d stayed home from school with her when she had the flu and sat beside her bed, holding her hand, trying to make her laugh, even though she felt miserable. “I hate it when you don’t smile,” he whispered when he thought she’d fallen asleep.

So many memories flooded back. Her eyes glassed over. She tried desperately to blink the tears away.

Owen pulled her to his chest and wrapped her in his arms. She held tight to him because it was easy. So much easier than reaching for Brody.