The Road To Forgiveness (3 page)

“I’m not leaving here until I talk to her.
I’ve been in this fucking town for almost four weeks without any
sign of her. I’m going crazy. Then today I finally see her so I
follow her back here to talk to her. I’m not risking the chance of
Mia being gone tomorrow. I’m going to talk to her now and you’re
going to let me.”

I can almost here Jonathon’s anger start to
come up. He doesn’t like being told what to do and it is probably
killing him to have to hear Sebastian ordering him around.

“I’m afraid you have no choice. You’re going
to leave or I’m going to call the cops. It’s your choice but I have
some pizza waiting on me, so I suggest you decide quickly.”

Sebastian doesn’t hesitate. “Go ahead and
call the cops. Nothing is going to get me to leave and I have
confidence the cops aren’t going to arrest me.”

Oh, for goodness sake. My feet move on their
own accord and the next thing I know I’m turning the corner and
standing right next to Jonathon. Sebastian is staring at me like
he’s seen a ghost and Jonathon is looking at me with concern.

I turn my head to Jonathon and look him in
the eyes. “It’s okay, Jonathon. Can you give me a minute with
Sebastian?”

Jonathon looks back and forth between
Sebastian and me before he nods his head and walks away. I watch
him walk around the corner and slowly turn back to Sebastian.

“Hi.” I can’t think of anything else to say
to him at the moment.

“Hi… Is that all you can say, hi? Hell, I’ve
been so worried about you and all you can say is hi. Where the hell
have you been? I’ve looked everywhere. I talked to your mom, pretty
much everyone in your town, and no one knew where you were or if
they did they weren’t telling me. And now I see you have been in
the next town over this whole time.”

He runs his hand through his hair and he
looks exhausted. His eyes have dark circles underneath them and I
see a light dusting of grey hair coming through on the sides of his
head. His blue eyes aren’t as bright as usual and he looks like
he’s lost a good twenty pounds. Even with all the physical changes,
he still looks as breathtaking as ever. I’m only in his presence
for a few seconds and I’m already mesmerized by him. I don’t speak.
I can’t at this point.

His harsh tone softens as he speaks again,
“So are you going to explain yourself? I need to know why you left,
Mia. I miss you, I love you, and I want you back. There is so much
I have to tell you.”

He takes a step towards me and into the
doorway. I take a step back.

“Can we do this some other time? I’m tired
and my pizza is getting cold. I’ll call you,” I say timidly. I hope
this does the trick and he decides to leave.

“Mia, I’m not leaving until we talk. You’ve
avoided me long enough. If this is truly over then at least have
the decency to tell me to my face. Don’t be a fucking coward and
avoid me the rest of your life.”

His words sting a little. I know they
shouldn’t. I know I deserve to hear what he is saying to me but I’m
not ready to hear it.

“I’m serious, Sebastian. I want to talk to
you I just can’t tonight. Please, just give me one more night. We
can talk tomorrow.”

His hand reaches out for me and grabs onto my
arm. He gently strokes my arm up and down as his eyes make contact
with mine. I had forgotten just how beautiful his eyes are. He
could solve every crisis in the world with just one look.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” His concern for
me is almost too overwhelming. I need him to be mean and
unreasonable. I can handle that. I can’t handle sweet and concerned
Sebastian right now.

“I’m okay. I just need one more night,” I say
as I remove his hand from my arm. I instantly feel colder without
the connection.

“Okay,” he sighs as he takes a step back. “I
guess I can give you one more night. We can meet up sometime
tomorrow. Do you still have my number?”

“Yeah… I’ve got it. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
We stare at each other for a moment before Sebastian takes a step
forward and leans in. He wraps his arms around my upper body and
pulls me into a hug. My arms lay limp at my sides. I don’t know
what to do. It feels so good to have his arms around me but I also
know I shouldn’t be allowing this to happen.

His arms squeeze me a little tighter as his
lips brush against my ear. “I’ve missed you so much,” he
whispers.

I feel my entire body start to tremble from
the feeling of his warm breath on my naked neck. Before I have time
to react he releases me from his hold and steps back into the
hallway.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow. While you are
taking this last night to yourself, just remember how much I love
you. I’ve never stopped.” With that he turns his neck to me and
walks down the hallway.

I close the door and lean my back into it. I
close my eyes and take deep breaths; I’m still trying to process
what just happened. I try and separate the facts in my head.
Sebastian came to Georgia for me. Sebastian’s been here for four
weeks. Sebastian still loves me. It may not seem like a lot but
it’s a lot for me to take in at the moment.

When I open my eyes Jonathon is standing
there with a smirk on his face.

“If you don’t go back to him then I might
have to plead my case and hope he takes me. That man is capital
D-licious. Completely swoon worthy. I need a cold shower just from
the sound of his voice.”

I slap him hard on the chest. “That’s
seriously gross Jonathon and I can’t believe you were listening.
That was a private conversation.”

“If it was meant to be a private conversation
then you shouldn’t have had it in front of an open door for the
whole apartment complex to hear. You can’t blame me for listening.
When an Adonis like that knocks on your door, you stay for the
show.”

I chuckle at his reference and take a step
away from the front door. “Let’s eat because this baby inside of me
is starving.”

“Is that how this is going to work? You’re
going to eat like a pig and blame it on the baby.”

“Hey, it worked the first time.”

We both laugh and make our way to the living
room. We eat our dinner in comfortable silence as we watch our
reality television smut. He doesn’t bring up Sebastian again and
I’m grateful. We end the night around eleven and I pull out the
couch to sleep on while Jonathon retreats to his bedroom. I try to
get a good night sleep because starting tomorrow, Operation Avoid
Sebastian starts.

I woke up this morning with a headache and
the need to vomit. I rush to the toilet and dry heave for ten
minutes, rinse my mouth out, brush my teeth, gargle, and leave the
bathroom. I head back to the sofa bed just as Jonathon rushes past
me. He is dressed casually in a t-shirt, jeans, and Nike tennis
shoes. His hair is still wet from showering and his eyes still have
bags underneath them.

“You’re in a hurry. It’s Saturday morning,
where you off to so early?”

“I’ve got a hiking date with that guy, Dan, I
met last week. He said to meet him at nine so I’m running a
late.”

I follow him into the kitchen as Jonathon
grabs his keys off the counter.

“Who chooses to hike on a first date anyway?”
he says to me with a disgusted look on his face.

“Apparently, Dan does. Why are you wearing
Jeans? Shouldn’t you be in something a little more
comfortable?”

“Mia, this is as casual as I will get in
public. It will be fine.”

He bends down to give me a kiss on the cheek
and starts to leave. I follow him to the front door.

“If you don’t hear from me by tonight, call
911.” He says with a laugh as he closes the front door. I turn away
and head over to my phone that’s sitting on the coffee table. I
want to see my mom today and visit Miles but I have to make a phone
call first.

I scroll down my contacts list and hit the
call button when I find his name. It rings a few times before going
to voicemail.

“
This is Charlie. Leave a message if you
want me to get back to you.”

Beep.

“Hey Charlie, it’s Mia, again. Please give me
a call back. I’m still in Georgia and staying with Jonathon. I… I
really need to talk to you. I miss you and… you’re the only one who
can understand some of what I’m going through. I feel like I’m
going crazy. I don’t know… Do you ever feel that way? I know you
probably don’t want to talk to me. It’s my fault everything
happened that day and I could never tell you how truly sorry I am
that you were involved. That you now have this misplaced guilt when
you shouldn’t. It wasn’t your fault.

“Thanks for keeping up the mortgage for me. I
still haven’t been by the house. I don’t think I could ever live
there again so it’s yours when you’re ready. I don’t want it
anymore. Well… I hope to hear from you really soon. I might just
have to take a trip up to Chicago and see you if I keep getting the
silent treatment. I… I love you, Charlie. I just thought you should
know. Bye.”

I click the end button and put the phone back
on the coffee table. I’ve been leaving Charlie messages for weeks
but still haven’t heard back from him. That was one thing I didn’t
expect when I came back to Georgia. I was looking forward to seeing
Charlie because he always helped with the tension between my mom
and me. I never expected he wouldn’t be here anymore.

I go into the bathroom and take a quick
shower. I leave my hair wet and pull it up into a bun on top of my
head. I throw on my underwear, bra, a pair of skinny jeans and a
low cut blue sweater. I had Jonathon stop by my house when I first
got here and pick up some of my old clothing.

I grab my keys and purse and leave the
apartment for the day. I’m so lucky Jonathon has two vehicles. I
still don’t understand why he does but it worked out perfectly for
me when I came back to town. I don’t have to worry about him
chauffeuring me around.

I make the twenty-minute drive to my mom’s
house and park on the curb. I walk up the brick walkway and enter
the house. I don’t need a key because no one in this town locks
their doors, including my mother.

“Hello,” I say as I step into the foyer of my
mother’s three-bedroom ranch.

“I’m in here, darling.”

Her voice is coming from her bedroom. I make
my way down the hallway and enter the room. My mother is digging
through her closet. She is dressed in a pair of slacks and a floral
blouse. She hears me approach and lifts her head from the
closet.

“I can’t find my denim jacket. It’s only
going to get to sixty degrees outside and my denim jacket is the
only thing that goes with this outfit.”

I place my hands on her shoulders and gently
move her out of the way.

“Let me look,” I say as I start the process
of rummaging through her things. Within a minute I’ve found her
denim jacket hanging on a hanger in the back of the closet.

“Here it is, momma.” I hand her the jacket
and she smiles gently at me.

“Thank you, darling.”

“Where are you off to?”

“I’m going to check out the farmers market in
the middle of town. It’s the last weekend Riceboro will have it
until March. You want to come?”

I really didn’t want to come but I was trying
to reestablish a relationship with my mother.

“Sure, sounds like fun,” I say with fake
enthusiasm.

We walk into the kitchen and I grab two
coffee cups so we can take some coffee to go. As I pour the coffee
my mother starts talking about Betty Hazelwood and how her flower
garden was destroyed by a bunch of hooligans from a few towns
over.

Her words, not mine.

My mother has the tendency to talk like she
is in her sixties instead of her forties.

“ We walk out of her house and she starts to
lead me to her car under the carport. I stop her by reaching my
hand out and grabbing her elbow.

“Let’s take Jonathon’s car. It’s already out
on the curb and you told me last time how much you love the leather
seats.”

My mother let’s out a deep breathe and
mutters, “Okay.”

I can’t be in my mother’s car. Too many
memories of Miles. I can’t avoid being reminded of him in her house
but I can avoid the car. We head over to Jonathon’s car and I get
into the driver’s seat as my mother opens the door to the passenger
side. As we pull out on the street my mother starts her version of
small talk.

“So how much longer are you going to be in
town for?

“I told you Momma, I’m back for good. I just
need a little longer to get back on my feet and then I’ll find a
place to stay.”

“You aren’t planning on going back to Miami?”
she asks me nonchalantly.

“No. Miami just wasn't right for me. I
thought I could escape my past but the truth is, I can’t escape it.
It will follow me everywhere.”

We’re quiet for a moment as we both don’t
know what else to say.

“You still haven’t told me what you were
doing down in Miami. Were you working? Did you make any new
friends?”

Here is the mother I know and love. She is a
master manipulator. She loves to dodge the real question by asking
questions that will goat me into telling her what she really wants
to know.

“Just stop, momma.”

“What?” she asks innocently.

“I saw Sebastian last night. I know he’s
talked to you.”

“Oh, Sebastian. Was that what that
gentlemen’s name was? I completely forgot.”

I smirk at her. She has always been horrible
at this.

“Sure you did.” I glance at her and then
bring my eyes back to the road. We start to pull into town and I
park on the gravel parking lot next to the Piggly Wiggly. This is
the only grocery store around.

“I thought he was rather nice. Charming,
too.”

“Did you? Maybe I can set you two up since
you like him so much.” It’s hard for me to hide my sarcasm and my
mother giggles at my response.