The Road to Winter (23 page)

Kas, Ray and I spend the day and most of the night taking it in turns to sit with Rose, trying to reassure her. The contractions gradually grow more intense, longer and closer together.

It must be well after midnight when Ray lights the lamp and brings it back into the bedroom. The brightness seems to startle Rose, who hasn't said much, apart from swearing, for a while. But with the light she becomes more lucid.

Between the contractions I wipe the sweat off her face and rub her back. She surprises me when she leans into my shoulder and puts her arm around my neck.

‘Hey, dog boy,' she whispers.

‘Hey,' I say. ‘How you feeling?'

‘Like shit. Feels like a pony kicking around inside me.'

‘You'll be okay,' I say, trying to convince myself as much as her. ‘You'll
both
be okay.'

‘If…'

‘If what?'

‘Promise me you and Kas will…'

‘We'll all look after the baby together,' I say. ‘You and me and Kas and Ray and Willow. All of us. We're a family now.'

‘A family?' Her face softens. ‘It's a long time since I had a family.'

‘Well, you've got one now.'

She looks at me. Her eyes are still red and her face is flushed. ‘Thanks for finding Kas,' she says. ‘She told me a bit about what happened.'

‘She's as tough as you, your sister.'

‘Tougher, I reckon.'

Exhausted again, she falls back onto the pillow.

‘Keep talking, Finn,' she whispers. ‘I like to hear your voice.'

‘About what?'

‘Anything. Like you talked to me in the kitchen that first day.'

‘Growly, you mean?'

‘Ha. No, not so growly.'

‘I like Kas,' I say. ‘She's fierce, but she's got a soft side, too.'

It doesn't take long before the next contraction swells and takes over her whole body. It's like she's losing the strength to deal with each new one.

She rolls onto her side, then slowly lifts herself up onto her hands and knees. Her mouth is pulled tight and her knees are shaking. She lets out a scream.

‘Get Kas,' she gasps. ‘And Ray.'

I don't need to call them; they've both heard the scream. Rose buries her head in the pillow and her hips sway from side to side. The contractions are so close together now; she hardly has time to recover from one when the next one hits. Sweat drips from her face to her chest.

Rose stands behind her sister and, at the next contraction, gasps.

‘I can see the head! I can see the head!'

But Rose slumps forwards, her head hitting the bedend. Kas holds her by the hips and lifts her off her stomach.

‘Rose,' she urges, ‘you're nearly there. When the next contraction comes, push with everything you've got.'

Rose's voice is low, drained. ‘I can't.'

‘You can. I know you can,' Kas says. ‘It'll be over soon. I promise.'

Kas looks at Ray and me and mouths
Help
.

‘Come round here,' Ray says, taking my arm. He gets me to kneel on the bed in front of Rose so she can put her arms over my shoulders for support. She pushes her forehead hard into my chest. When she looks up I can see her eyes rolling around, as though she's struggling to stay conscious. When the next contraction grips her, she digs her hands into my back and screams.

‘That's good, Rose. Good. The head is coming,' Kas says. I can hear the control in her voice. ‘Push.
Push
.'

But Rose has gone limp in my arms. Her breath is coming in short bursts. Her whole weight is falling into me. I take her face in my hands and bring it close to mine.

‘Come on, Rose, one more push,' I say.

Her eyes flicker open. Then she draws herself up and her body tenses again before she bears down and all her remaining energy goes into a scream that's so close I can feel it.

‘One more, one more.' Kas is shouting now.

But Rose's arms have fallen off my shoulders and her head rolls away to the side. I turn her face towards me and gently slap her cheek.

‘Stay with us, Rose,' I say. ‘Stay with us. Please…'

I put my face against hers. My tears mix with the saltiness of her sweat.

‘I think she's unconscious,' I hear myself say.

‘Gravity,' Ray says. ‘We've gotta use gravity.' He pulls Rose around to the side of the bed, kneels down and takes her weight on his shoulders. ‘When I lift,' he tells Kas, ‘you're going to have to pull. We've gotta get the baby out. Finn, help me lift her.'

I slip in under him and take some of the weight in my arms.

‘Now,' he says. ‘
Now!
'

I see the head between Rose's legs. Kas is pulling and turning. I see the shoulders and then the whole body slips out into her hands.

Ray eases Rose back down onto the bed just as the baby cries.

‘It's a girl,' Kas says, tears streaming down her cheeks. ‘It's a girl.'

Ray has a piece of string, which he ties around the umbilical cord, then produces another piece and ties that around too. Kas has a pair of scissors and she cuts the cord. Then she wraps the baby in a towel.

When we gently roll Rose over we see the blood. It's falling in big drops onto the sheets.

‘She's hemorrhaging,' Ray says. He bundles up a towel and puts it between Rose's legs. ‘I don't know how to stop it.'

Kas has the baby wrapped up and she kneels down next
to Rose, nuzzling the baby's face against Rose's. I don't know whether I imagine it, but I'm sure I see a smile on Rose's lips. Her whole body is limp. I'm not sure she's even breathing.

Ray takes the baby and hands her to me, then he puts his head to Rose's chest and listens. He tilts her head back and begins to give her mouth-to-mouth.

Kas lifts her sister's hand to her face, kisses it and whispers, ‘Don't leave me, Rose. Don't leave me.'

Ray starts to press up and down on her chest, but her body is so small and wasted he's afraid to push too hard. The towel between her legs is soaked with blood.

After a few minutes Ray checks for breathing again. There's nothing. He keeps trying, but eventually he has to stop.

Kas climbs onto the bed and cradles Rose's head in her lap. I hand her the baby and she holds her against her sister's breast. Ray looks at me and nods towards the door.

Back out in the kitchen, Willow is sitting with Rowdy in his basket, her eyes wide.

‘Is there a baby?' she asks.

I scoop her up in my arms because I just want someone to hug. ‘Yes. A little girl.'

Ray sits at the table with his head resting on his arms. It's been a long night.

I feel numb. It's like the world has overtaken me and I want to scream and yell at God or the sky. I want to say it's not fair. I want to say we're only kids and we shouldn't have to deal with this stuff, that there should be more adults like Ray to help us.

But all I can do is rock Willow in my arms. I can't even cry anymore. I've been hollowed out and there's nothing left. I think of Mum and Dad dying and of the hole they left in my life. It shouldn't keep happening, I've had my fair share. It's someone else's turn.

There's a faint sound coming from the bedroom, a cooing, encouraging voice: Kas talking to the baby. I take Willow to the door. She wants to see the baby. But when I'm in the doorway, Ray's voice cuts through the house, urgent.

‘Finn!'

I turn back around to see light out through the kitchen window. It takes me a second to work out it's a flaming torch. And not just one—there are four of them crossing the paddock towards the house. And then, a noise that starts like a buzzing in the back of my head. Slowly it increases until I realise what it is.

A trailbike.

Ray moves quickly. In the bedroom he pushes a bookshelf to one side revealing a cavity behind it.

‘Quick,' he says. ‘Get in here. Take Willow.'

He lifts Kas off the bed. She tries to push him away, not understanding what's going on, but he takes the baby from her arms, guides her to the cavity and pushes her in after Willow.

‘You can't do this on your own, Ray,' I say. ‘I'm not hiding.'

He takes me by the shoulders. ‘It's you three they want,' he says. ‘They won't take the baby and Rose is…' He stops and looks at her on the bed.

‘But what about you?'

‘I'm too old for them to worry about,' he says, and points at the cavity. ‘Now get in there.'

There's just enough room for three. It's musty and smells of rats. Most of the light is blocked when Ray pushes the bookshelf back into place, but if I flatten myself against the side wall I can see through a small gap into the room. Ray sits himself down on the bed, cradling the baby in his arms. Waiting.

Slowly the room fills with light and large shadows. No one has said anything, but I can see Ray looking up at a man standing in the doorway. His large shape moves around to the other side of the bed and he drops to his knees.

It's Ramage.

He reaches out and touches Rose on the cheek. When his voice comes, it's thin and low.

‘Ah, Warda, my beautiful Warda. Why did you run? I could have looked after you.'

Kas is pressed against me. She's heard the voice and knows who it is.

Ramage reaches out to Ray—to the baby.

‘This is Rose's daughter,' Ray says, shaking his head. ‘
Rose's
.'

‘Warda is my Siley. The child is mine.'

Ray looks to the door as someone else enters the room, someone smaller than Ramage. They come closer to Ray and reach for the baby.

‘It's okay,' a woman's voice says, ‘I'll look after her.'

Through the gap, I can see her flaming red hair and I remember Rose's description of the woman who saved her when she was caught at Swan's Marsh. It must be the same woman.

Her voice is gentle. ‘Has she fed?' she asks.

‘No,' Ray mumbles.

Ramage leans over the bed and softly kisses Rose. Then stands to his full height and guides the woman out of the room. When he comes back, his voice is hard again, and angry.

‘The sister,' he says, ‘and the boy. Where are they?'

Ray is ready for the question. He answers without hesitating.

‘They
were
here,' he says. ‘They're gone now. Left a couple of hours ago.'

‘Gone?' Ramage sounds unconvinced. ‘Gone where?'

‘Didn't say.'

‘Don't you lie to me, you old prick.'

‘Why would I lie?' Ray speaks in an older, weary voice. ‘What've I got to gain from lying?' He straightens and stands toe to toe with Ramage.

‘If I find you've lied to me,' Ramage says, ‘I'll burn ya fuckin' house down.' He turns and yells, ‘Search the place. Tear it apart. If she's here, we'll find her. And the boy. I'll kill him.'

I can feel Willow trembling beside me. I draw her in and hold her head against my chest. Kas's arm loops over us both and we huddle together and wait.

Heavy footsteps come through the back door and the room fills with light and the smell of burning pitch. Tables and chairs are being turned over, but above the ruckus I hear the woman's voice, loud and clear.

‘Stop!'

Ramage turns and I know she's looking straight at him.

‘There's no time for this,' she says. ‘This baby's premature. If you want her to survive we've got to get her back home as soon as we can. The mother's dead. That's enough tragedy for one day.'

Ramage hesitates before stabbing his finger into Ray's chest.

‘I know where to find you, old man. Any more trouble from down here and I'll be back. And you tell that girl and boy that I don't forget. Benny Ramage never forgets. They'll
never
be safe. Not here. Not anywhere.'

Ramage leans over the bed one more time and kisses Rose. Then he pushes past Ray, knocking him against the bookshelf. Footsteps thump out through the kitchen and onto the porch.

Ray waits a good fifteen minutes before he pushes the bookshelf out of the way and we crawl out into the bedroom. He has his finger to his lips.

‘I don't trust them,' he says. ‘They'll still be watching.'

But there's no sign of their torches in the grey light of the new day. Ray gathers us all in the kitchen.

‘You have to go now,' he says, ‘before it gets proper light. Head down the valley to the coast and make your way back to Angowrie. Be careful.'

‘I'm not running,' Kas says, her voice low but firm. ‘I'm not leaving Rose. What about her…her
body
?'

‘I'll look after her, I promise,' Ray says. ‘There's nothing to be gained from you being caught by Ramage.' He's got his hand on Kas's shoulder. ‘You'd best go in and say your goodbyes.'

Kas looks bewildered, torn, raking a hand through her hair.

‘Ray's right,' I say, softly. ‘We have to go.'