The Saffron Gate (73 page)

^{I waited.}

^{'I am an honest man,' he said. 'Tuaregs abide by a code of honesty, and of bravery.'}

^{'I know,' I whispered.}

^{'I was honest with you, the other night, when I said I understand more than you realise. I do understand what you want. That you want to stay. And since the night I came to Sharia Soura when Manon hurt you, and you held my hand against your lips, and said you thought of my hands . . . since that night I couldn't hide my feelings from myself. You are different from any woman I've known, Sidonie.'}

^{I watched his mouth.}

^{'You are willing to be afraid, to accept fear, and move with it. But you also made me afraid, Sidonie. And I haven't known this feeling for so long, and it filled me with doubt. I was afraid that if I asked you to stay with me . . .'}

^{He stopped.}

^{'Afraid of what?' I said, or perhaps whispered.}

^{'I thought it would be easier if you said no. But if you said yes, I was afraid that in time you wouldn't be happy, and would want your former life again. Even with your painting. With Badou and Falida, with . . . with children of our own. That what I have to give you won't be enough. Our lives have been so different, so—'}

^{I stepped closer to him. I smelled the sweetness of melon on his lips. 'I can see my life here, with you,' I said.}

^{A bird trilled in the branches overhead.}

^{'You see it? It is enough?' he said softly, his eyes fixed on mine.}

^{I waited until the bird had finished its song. 'Yes,' I said. 'It is enough.'}

^{Inshallah,
I thought.
Inshallah.}

^{Acknowledgements}

^{I relied on a number of books for information and inspiration while writing Sidonie's story.
Women of Marrakech
is Leonora Peets' description of life as a doctor's wife in 1930s Marrakesh. Elizabeth Warnock Fernea wrote
The Streets of Marrakech
after her sojourn there with her family in the 1970s. These two first-hand accounts were particularly useful. Also of importance to my understanding of the country was the small, exquisitely detailed
In Morocco,
written by Edith Wharton in 1919, after she travelled through Morocco with the purpose of writing its first English travel guide. Cynthia J. Becker's
Amazigh Arts in Morocco: Women Shaping Berber Identity
was infinitely enlightening.}

^{I also relied on information found in
The Voices of Marrakech,
by Elias Canetti,
Morocco That Was,
by Walter Harris,
A Year in Marrakesh,
by Peter Mayne,
Caliph's House,
by Tahir Shah,
The Conquest of Morocco,
by Douglas Porch, and
A Narrative of Travels in Spain and Morocco in 1848,
by David Urquhart. Paul Bowles' novel,
The Sheltering Sky,
was inspiring and revealing. I was able to unearth a wealth of glorious books depicting Morocco's architecture and the design of its
riads,
the old-style houses within the medinas, with their tiled courtyards and gardens. These books gave me greater insight into the beauty and exoticism of this magical country.}

^{Loving thanks to my daughter Brenna, who twice accompanied me on adventures through Morocco, and made the experiences all the more exciting and wondrous with her presence. Thanks must go to our own Blue Men: Habib, Ali and Omar. Habib drove us from Marrakesh through the High Atlas mountains to the edge of the Sahara, playing Santana and Leonard Cohen and lovely Arabic music to accompany our long and wild journey over the
hamadas
of the Atlas. Ali and Omar led us on camels and drove us across the
erg —
the dunes — and the plains of sand and gravel — the
regs
— of the Sahara to our nomad camp under the stars, where we found the Southern Cross. I especially appreciated Ali's knowledge of life in the desert, and the wonderful stories of his mother, who was a nomad bride at the age of eleven. Omar kept us entertained with his songs and drumming and dancing, and taught us the hand-clapping that accompanies so many of the songs of the desert. Thanks to the unknown Berber woman who decorated our hands and feet with henna, and the accommodating staff at Hôtel Les Jardins de la Koutoubia in Marrakesh.}

^{On this side of the world, thank you to my older daughter Zalie and my son Kitt, for their understanding and great listening skills, and for always making me laugh. Thank you to my sister-in-law, Carole Bernicchia-Freeman, for supervising my French. And a special thank you to Paul for providing so much brilliant colour during the stark black and white realities of the writing life.}

^{Thanks go, again, to my agent, Sarah Heller, for everything from plot discussions to dinners and drinks to both commiserate and celebrate. Thanks to my editor in London, Sherise Hobbs at Headline, for the astute suggestions and gentle direction and patience.}

^{And a final thank you to the rest of my family and friends who have shown endless support during the writing of this book over a rather tumultuous but exciting period in my life.}

COPYRIGHT

Copyright © 2009 by Linda Holeman

All rights reserved.

This Traverse Press edition published in 2011

Canadian Cataloguing in Publication Data

Holeman, Linda

Saffron Gate, The

ISBN: 978-0987703118

Also by Linda Holeman

The Linnet Bird

The Moonlit Cage

In a Far Country

Linda Holeman is the author of six books for young adults and two collections of short stories for adults, all of which have won numerous awards in the US and her native Canada. This is her fourth novel for adults. She has three children and lives in Winnipeg, Manitoba.