THE SANCTUARY (13 page)

“For real?” Liz asked.

“Why didn’t you tell us before now?” Julia scolded.

“I just found out and thought that Mike should be the first, well, second, to know. But I couldn’t reach him. I was going to tell y’all just as soon as I told him. Then the food was served, and a wave of nausea hit me.”

Lydia gave her a bear hug. “I know how much you want this. I’m so happy for you.”

Julia and Liz joined in.

Three women came into the restroom but stopped short when they came upon the four women, half laughing, half crying, hugging one another.

“Excuse us,” Julia said as they exited.

After they sat back down at their table and gave Grace the news, Sonya explained that she suspected something was wrong and had been to see the doctor just before the trip. “I’ve been abnormally tired and just felt kind of yucky. She ran a bunch of tests. I was ready for the worst. I thought I had cancer. I never imagined I could be pregnant. I was sure that my eggs were all dried up. In fact, I was afraid at first that it was early menopause. My periods have been irregular for a while now, so I didn’t notice how long it had been since I’d had one. And I didn’t associate the weight gain with pregnancy either. The spotting and other symptoms made me think for sure it was cancer. Can you believe it? All those years trying to get pregnant, and then it just happens out of the blue?”

The food was good, but Sonya was only able to eat part of a baked potato. Lydia was also having a hard time enjoying it. Even the normally glib Liz had turned quiet since Sonya’s news. And she hadn’t eaten more than a couple of bites of her baked potato. A somber mood had suddenly replaced their easy camaraderie. Things had shifted noticeably from a fun reunion to the real reason for the reunion—and all that was associated with that revelation. An uneasy silence fell over the group until Sonya finally spoke.

“What if Mike’s not happy about the pregnancy?” Sonya asked.

“He’ll be over the moon,” Julia promised. “Wait, what about all the booze we’ve consumed on this trip?”

“Thankfully, I haven’t had as much as you’d think. I guess y’all didn’t notice but my stomach’s been doing flip-flops, and I haven’t felt that good. But I didn’t want to ruin the party, so I ordered but never drank more than a sip or two. I was sure my nausea was from cancer or whatever was wrong with me—not morning sickness. And I don’t know why they call it that because, believe me, it can last all day. Anyway, my doctor says the baby should be fine but to avoid alcohol from now on. She’s going to start me on prenatal vitamins and send me to a nutritionist to put me on a special diet as soon as I get home. At my age I want to be sure to do everything I can to ensure I have a healthy baby.”

Lydia started to cry. “I’m so happy for you, Sonya, but I feel so alone. Julia’s got John and the kids, Liz has a great career, and Grace, you have a successful business, husband, and a baby on the way. What have I got?”

Sonya started to weep. “I’ve got a baby, yes, but I will be practically eligible for Medicare by the time the kid is grown. And truthfully, I don’t know if I have a husband to help me raise this child or not. I think that Mike is having an affair. I’m pretty sure that he is. You want to talk about scary? Try being a single mother in her forties with not one, not two, not three, but four failed marriages under her belt. Who’s going to like those odds?”

“Oh for goodness sake, knock it off. Sonya, you are not divorced yet. Not even close. You say you think that your husband is having an affair, but you don’t know for sure. Don’t go there until you have all the facts. As for you, Lydia, there’s another way to look at your situation. I’m not saying that it’s not tragic about David’s death. What I am saying is that you have a chance to start over and do whatever you want to do. It sucks about your nest egg, but you’ve still got plenty of earning years. And now you’re free to pursue whatever you want. You are so smart and talented and determined that I know you can succeed at whatever you do,” Liz said.

“You’ve got to get it through your stubborn head that you are not alone. We are sisters. That means we’ll always be family. You’re stuck with us,” Julia said.

“It’s so cool that y’all always got each other’s backs,” Grace said.

“To the Carolina Girls Forever,” Liz said, raising her glass of iced tea. They all clinked glasses.

“I hear they have thirty different homemade desserts to choose from. I know I’m supposed to be on a diet but what say we splurge and order five different ones to sample?” Julia asked. “I think I’ll order the white chocolate raspberry mousse.”

Eleven

THE SHOWDOWN

T
he next morning, Julia burst into the suite with Liz on her heels. “I have got to talk to y’all. Big news,” she said breathlessly.

Julia stood in the middle of the suite practically doing a little dance while Liz paused in the doorway to put on her shoes.

“What’s wrong?” Lydia asked as she hastily spit out toothpaste while shoving her toothbrush back into its travel case.

There were only two chairs in the suite Sonya sat in one, tucking in her shirt, and motioned for Julia to sit in the other one. As Julia plopped into the seat, Lydia took a seat on the bed nearest the sitting area. Liz took a seat beside her.

“I wanted to talk to y’all in private before we go to breakfast. I’ve been trying to get hold of my father since I told you about my recurring nightmares, but I haven’t had any luck. I woke up early this morning after having that nightmare. I can’t get what Liz said out of my head, about there being something more to it. I think that deep down I’ve known all along that it’s more than just bad dreams. That’s why I stopped going to therapy. Dr. Deere told me that he thought I was going through PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). That was what was causing the nightmares. When I stopped blocking out what had caused the PTSD, I would be on the road to recovery. I wasn’t ready back then for the truth, but now I need answers. With the time difference, it’s practically the middle of the night back home, so I finally got hold of my father. I told him I needed to talk to him about Aunt Vivica and the night she died. He tried to get rid of me by saying that he was half asleep and that we could talk when I got home, but I told him that it had to be now. I told him that I knew he was hiding something about her death, and I demanded he tell me. He wasn’t going to but then I started crying and told him that I’ve been having nightmares ever since that night. He was shocked by that news,” Julia said.

“Geez, Jules. I feel so bad that you didn’t feel like you could talk to me,” Lydia said.

“I just couldn’t. Who has nightmares at my age? I should have dealt with this years ago, but I was just too afraid. Y’all already think I’m a mess. Anyway, I stood my ground and demanded answers.”

“Way to go,” Sonya said.

“Good for you,” Lydia echoed. She knew what a big deal it was for Julia to confront anyone, especially her father.

“Are you sure you want to talk about it?” Liz asked.

Julia nodded. “It’s hard, but I need to talk about it. Aunt Vivica used to work for Daddy as his bookkeeper. My mother talked Daddy into giving her the job. She embezzled a lot of money and Daddy found out. He told my mother because he wanted her advice on how he should handle it. With any other employee, the person would probably have been fired and turned over to the authorities. But she’s family, so my father wasn’t sure what to do. When my mother found out, she was furious. She couldn’t believe that her own sister betrayed her like that, especially since she was the one who got Daddy to give her the job. They got into a huge fight and in a fit of rage, Mama pushed Vivica down the stairs. Because Daddy loved Mama, he lied and said it was an accident. But it wasn’t an accident. My mother killed her sister. My mother was always prone to extreme highs and lows. If she was angry or sad, she was very angry or sad. She probably wasn’t thinking when she pushed Aunt Viv, but her actions caused my aunt’s death. I saw it happen. Subconsciously, I carried that image in my mind all my life. The nightmares. All those fears and phobias. Apparently, so did my mother. It destroyed her in the end. She took her own life after years of guilt and drug abuse.”

“Your mother had a drug problem?” Lydia asked incredulously.

The air conditioner kicked on, and Julia had to talk louder to be heard over the humming of the machinery. “My mother couldn’t cope with what she had done. She had trouble sleeping and was on edge all the time. Our family doctor prescribed sedatives and antianxiety meds. Daddy thinks she got too dependent on them, that she got hooked as often happens with prescription narcotics. At some point, the doctor put her on antidepressants. She would be okay for a while but then have a spell and be a total mess. She had days where she wouldn’t get dressed or get out of bed or would just scream or cry. Poor Doc Haskell did his best, but he had no training in mental health and my mother was uncooperative. He got her to go to a mental health facility in Columbia, but she checked herself out a week later. I was getting ready to go to USC when she went. I freaked out. I was going to defer a semester, which is how you came to be Liddie’s roommate instead of me,” Julia explained to Sonya. “But my father convinced me that Mama just needed a little help and some rest, and she’d be fine.”

“Here, drink this,” Lydia said, handing Julia a cup of water.

“Thanks,” Julia said, taking a big gulp. Her fingers were trembling, so she spilled some of the water onto her chin and blouse. She used the back of her hand to wipe off the water off her face. “If I had any idea…”

“You couldn’t have done anything. If your father and all those doctors couldn’t help, how could you?” Liz said, reaching out and squeezing Julia’s hand.

Julia took another sip of water before continuing with her story. “The maid said my mother went for a walk along the bluffs the day she killed herself, which she never did. Like me, she’s scared of heights. The only way she would have gone near them would be if she was planning on taking her life. When she didn’t come back, our gardener went after her, and he found her body at the base of the bluffs. My father never wanted me to find out the truth, so he told me that there was a history of suicide in her family that might be linked to mental illness.”

“But there isn’t,” Liz exclaimed. “Your grandmother was terminally ill. You said that she was in terrible chronic pain, and there was no hope for her survival. I can see why she ended her life. Your mother took her life because she never dealt with what happened to her sister. You have nothing to worry about, especially now that you know the truth. You just have to start dealing with things that happen rather than ignoring them and hoping they’ll go away. They don’t. They just eat at you.”

“It really is liberating to finally know the truth,” Julia agreed. “Maybe I won’t have those nightmares anymore now that I have faced the awful truth.”

“So the truth really does set you free,” Sonya mused.

“Absolutely. All of this has helped me to realize how important it is to talk about things, to tell the truth. My father actually cried. He told me that he’s had to carry around a great deal of pain and guilt. He admitted it was a relief to come clean, even if I was angry that he had kept the truth from me. But I can’t be mad at him. That seems like a lifetime ago and what was in the past should stay in the past, as far as I’m concerned. I believe in new beginnings. He said some really sweet things too, about how he was only trying to protect me, but that he was sorry if he caused me pain instead. He said part of the reason he never told me is that he blamed himself for my mother’s death and was terrified that I would too. He said that he loves me more than I’ll ever know. He hasn’t said ‘I love you’ to me since I was a child. It was the nicest, most candid conversation we’ve had in years. From now on, if I’m mad at John or scared about something, I’m just going to say it. It’s much healthier than the alternative. I’m glad I’ll be going into therapy. I think I need some professional help to fully come to terms with all this stuff, and Daddy has agreed to go to therapy, too.”

Lydia wondered if she would need therapy after she learned the truth about whatever David had been hiding.

Finally, in unspoken agreement, they got up, left the room, and walked down to the bottom of the hill to the big, orange Pancake Tent. Despite their somber moods, they were ravenous. They enjoyed fresh-brewed coffee and all-you-can-eat pancakes for just two dollars.

As agreed, they remained in the tent drinking coffee while Lydia made her way up to the lodge to confront Chris. But Chris was not there nor did the front desk clerk know where his employer was. Lydia wanted to grill the clerk about his boss, but the lobby was full of guests needing his attention.

“We’re having a Chuckwagon, which is an outdoor party with lots of good food and music. All our guests are invited to attend. It starts at 7:30 p.m. We have a staff meeting before the big event, the boss will be back for the meeting,” he said.

When Lydia told them the news, Sonya made a suggestion. “Let’s go do some sightseeing. It’ll take our minds off this until later, and we’ll probably never get to this part of the country again. There’s nothing more we can do here for now, anyway.”

They piled into the rental car. Liz, Grace, and Lydia sat in the backseat while Sonya drove, and Julia read the map. They spent the day visiting Mount Rushmore, Crazy Horse, and the Cosmos Mystery Area.

Lydia’s mind was hardly on the sights and conversation that day. She had already mentally moved on to the night and what lay ahead. She had barely heard the park ranger as he shared the history of Mount Rushmore. “It took 400 men and women to remove the 450,000 tons of rock, often working in brutal conditions.”

“Turn here,” Jules said, pointing up a dirt road.

Sonya frantically pulled the car off the road to follow Julia’s quick command. They all got knocked around in the last-minute maneuver.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize we were already at the turn off,” Jules said.

They were going to see the last tourist attraction of the day, which was the Cosmos Mystery Area. It was on Julia’s must-see list since she loved mysteries and strange things. This place definitely fit the bill since it defies all laws of gravity and physics. Signs warned visitors not to proceed if anyone had a heart condition, motion sickness, or physical limitations.

Sonya asked if there was any reason a pregnant woman shouldn’t do it, and the woman assured her that it was perfectly safe for almost anyone except someone with a pacemaker or who had difficulty walking. They bought their tickets and climbed the little hill to the mystery hut. The little hill was deceptive because it was actually very steep, and they were panting heavily by the time they reached the wooden hut.

“Step inside, if you dare,” the guide said smiling.

During the next thirty minutes, they watched balls, cans, coins, and bottles rolled uphill. Each of the women stood on little shelves that lined the walls of the hut and leaned way forward yet they defied gravity by not falling flat on their faces. Seemingly easy tasks, such as swinging on a rope, were difficult.

“That was so cool!” Grace said. “I hope my photos turn out. The look on your face was priceless, Mom!”

“Just don’t Instagram me!” Liz warned.

“I think it’s situated on a magnetic plate,” Sonya guessed.

“I think it’s one of those rare reverse-opposite gravitational pull things,” Lydia said.

“I think it’s strange they serve sloppy joes at that little refreshment hut,” Jules commented.

By the time they got back to the lodge, it was nearly 7:00 p.m. Chris wasn’t at the front desk. They decided to go upstairs and change clothes before the shindig that was being held on the other side of the stables, the largest open area in the resort.

Lydia was a nervous wreck as the women walked down the hill. “I still have no idea what I’m going to say. I guess it’ll come to me when I’m standing in front of him.”

The Chuckwagon turned out to be nothing more than an outdoor barbecue with a couple of guys playing a fiddle and guitar.

“If this was my place, I’d sure do things differently,” Lydia said looking around.

“Like what?” Jules asked.

“They need a big tent set up permanently right here, a barbecue pit over there, and a stage area up front. What’s more, there should be a variety show to sit down and watch, not just a couple of guys playing a few songs. I would do a series of family-appropriate skits and have a band play some songs in between skits. It should end with a sing along to well-known western songs. The staff should be dressed up in Old West costumes, and they need more decorations out here other than a couple of hay bales. Souvenir chow plates or mugs would also be a nice touch,” Lydia said.

“Wow, I can’t believe you came up with all that off the top of your head,” Julia said admiringly. “You really are wasting your talents.”

“I could think of dozens of ways they could improve the resort including a kids’ program. This is a family destination. They need to have lots of youth activities. They could offer hayrides with storytelling, marshmallow roasts, learn how to wrangle and rope like the cowboys, pony rides or stunt shows, and so much more. I would set up a little mock mining station over there and show the kids how the miners used to pan for gold and tell some area history. It’s fascinating stuff, even for kids with short attention spans,” Lydia said.