The Saxon Bride (The Norman Conquest Series) (15 page)

"Any word, Joan?"
Rowena smoothed her hands down her kirtle, assuring the ties at her waist were secure. She needed to stop asking about John and get about her life. When her handmaiden rolled her eyes, she was sure of it. She just didn't care.

Her days were filled with seeing to the keep and maintaining proper stores in both the pantry and the buttery, and all sundry items brought in as payment.
She wanted word of her husband. He had been gone nigh on two months and although she knew he was dealing with the trouble in the villages, she had to fight down the nagging feeling that he would not return to her.

"No, my lady, there is no word of your husband's return.
I would tell you if there was. Nay, I would
run
to tell you if there was. Nay, I would run screaming…"

"Yes, yes, Joan, your point is well taken.
Rest assured that I do not doubt you would let me know immediately if you heard aught. Understand that I must ask."

"What good does it do you to ask me?"

Rowena pondered her answer. Did it help her feel more in control? Yes. Did it give her a way to let out her thoughts that ran around in her head morning, noon and night? Yes. Did it really do her any good to ask? No. "It just does."

Rowena turned her back to the room, and Joan sat behind
, braiding her hair as she spoke. "It does you no good at all to pine away in here either."

Rowena knew exactly how Joan felt about her wayward husband.
"I do not pine away."

"You spend no time outside, my lady.
Look." Joan held her hand in front of Rowena. A long clump of her hair was clasped in her fingers. "Your hair is falling out, my lady. End this."

"Joan," Rowena tried for a stern voice even though she too was concerned at the sight, "you overstep yourself when you speak to me so."

Immediately contrite, Joan lowered her eyes as she came to stand beside Rowena. "Forgive me, my lady. I am only thinking of your welfare."

"I know.
Mayhap some fresh air will do me good."

Joan finished her braid without another word on the subject.
"Raisins with your oats this morning?" She looked so hopeful that Rowena couldn't help but smile back and nod enthusiastically. Joan was happy with her answer and closed the door behind her as she went to get the food. Rowena's smile quickly changed to a grimace at the nauseous feeling she got at the idea of raisins.

Picking up her brush, Rowena could see quite a bit of her hair had come out.
What was wrong with her? Her normally thick hair felt thin and scraggly. Was she pining away? She didn't feel like she was. True, she wished her husband would come back but the time they'd spent together had left her happy. Even cherished. She just wanted him to return to her.

"My lady!" Joan's voice preceded her flinging open Rowena's bedchamber door. "My lady!"

"What is amiss?" Rowena held her breath as she stepped toward her. "You look as if you've seen a ghost!"

On a whisper, Joan found no additional information much to Rowena's irritation.
"My lady!" Shaking her head in disbelief, she stepped out of the door just as a tall woman would have pushed her aside.

"So you're the wife my lover is saddled with."

Rowena was unable to exhale the gasp that had been sucked into her belly. Her eyes bulged as she tried to process what the woman had said. She couldn't possibly have heard her right. Like a tempest, the woman stormed into Rowena's private chambers as if she'd every right to be there. Her disdainful gaze did not miss a thing as she looked around the room. "I'm a little surprised he has stayed away from me this long."

Joan's mouth gaped open in disbelief as she looked from the regal woman with the black hair and green eyes
and back to Rowena. The petrified look on her servant's face finally broke the spell.

"And who are you, pray
tell?" Rowena stood a little taller as she addressed the woman who seemed to tower over her.

The woman blinked as if discerning whether Rowena truly had the audacity to speak directly to her.

"No. Better
you
tell
me
." She paused, no doubt for effect, assessing Rowena from head to toe, finally lifting the corner of her lip and raising one eyebrow. "Are you 'the wife'?"

"Joan, get the guards and remove this woman from my chambers."
She gave the orders through clenched teeth.

Joan fled to do her bidding.
Rowena's pulse quickened and her fury kicked in. Such behavior was totally unacceptable from anyone, but to have a woman claiming to be her husband's lover invade her bedchamber and speak to her as if she were of no importance at all was outrageous.

Out of nowhere, Rowena was hit with a tremendous wave of nausea.
Horrified, she realized this stranger would be a witness to her illness if she remained.

"Oh, ho, ho. A temper have you?" The woman moved in closer to Rowena, looking down her long nose as she spoke. "Your temper will not match mine, little girl."

Despite the pretty hair and eyes, the woman reeked of dead fish and flowers which increased Rowena's nausea.
The bile accumulating at the back of her throat made her force her hand.

"How dare you speak to me so." Swallowing as hard as she could, she continued. "You have come into my room unbidden
, and you will leave immediately or the guards will be happy to escort you to the bowels of the castle for your display of disrespect."

The woman did not back down.
Instead, she stared at Rowena as if she had two heads. Rowena tipped her chin up and tried to stare her down but she caught a whiff of the fish again. It was her undoing. Lurching back toward the bed, Rowena barely made it to the chamber pot before vomiting.

Rowena was at her most vulnerable while this stranger looked on.
This stranger who said she was John's lover. This stranger who acted like she owned John. This stranger who acted like Rowena was something that crawled out from under a rock. This was the woman who got to watch as all her stomach contents came gushing up.

Her humiliation grew and the vomiting continued.
Just when she believed she was done, she heard Joan return with the guards. Being otherwise occupied, she wished to be anywhere but retching in front of this woman.

"Well, get her out of here!" Joan sounded incredulous.
"She came up here without invitation. Remove her!" The guards were clearly intimidated by the woman's demeanor, imperious as she was, and seemed reluctant to just grab her and drag her out.

The contents of her stomach emptied, Rowena leaned slightly against her table in time to see Joan roll her eyes in disgust at the guards who just stood there.
Fighting for enough composure to end her embarrassment, Rowena's knees wobbled beneath her dressing gown.

"Joan speaks for me."
The guards immediately made to remove the woman who backed away, pulling her arm out of their reach.

"Are you sure you aren't even a little curious about who I am?" She addressed Rowena but her eyes were on the guards.

Rowena wiped her hand across her mouth. She felt surprisingly better but needed to lie down.

"Not in the least.
Remove her."

Inching her way back to her bed, Rowena was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

The room was brightly lit when Rowena awoke from her nap later that morning. Lying on her stomach, she assessed how she felt. Much better. The smell of the oatmeal caused her empty stomach to growl in answer. She started to turn onto her back when she noticed the tingling in her breasts. She had noticed they seemed fuller than usual and now they were even sensitive to her touch.

"My lady?"
Joan's voice was very quiet but Rowena decided to face the woman rather than to feign sleep.

"I am awake."

"Oh, good. My lady, whatever shall we do?" Joan's face was pinched with worry, her eyes red and puffy. Rowena could not remember why that would be or what they needed to decide about.

"You are so melodramatic."
Sitting up in her bed, she reached toward the bowl which Joan handed to her. Her first bite of oatmeal was warm and sweet with raisins, very good. As she swallowed, a feeling of contentment filled her. That was until she was hit with the memory of the woman. Her eyes flew open.

"Oh, no!
Where is she?"

"She took herself out of the castle as if she were the Queen of Sheba!" Joan didn't try to hide her disgust.

Rowena struggled to remember what the woman had said? The wife her lover was
saddled
with? In a flurry, she jumped off the bed and pulled her bed clothes off, giving orders all the while.

"My gown, Joan, quickly.
Did the guards have to threaten her? When did she arrive here? There was no gossip about a strange woman in the area? Joan, what is taking you so long?" As she tied up the opening of her chemise, she turned to find Joan waiting patiently with her tunic. She dipped her head into the opening and allowed her to follow that with her outer gown. "Do you know where she went?"

"Well, I sent the lad out to follow her.
He said she stopped at the inn. The same one that his lordship…"

"Yes, I know."

Rowena interrupted her story before she heard again that she should have cleared up the misunderstanding with her husband before she allowed him to have his way with her. Of course, Joan couldn't know that she had also had her way with him. It had been mutually satisfying to say the least.

Joan frowned.
"Why are you turning red, my lady? You haven't done anything wrong."

Rowena turned her back to Joan so she could pull her long braid out.
"Did you get a name?"

"Abigail."

Biting her lower lip, Rowena tried to remember if John had ever mentioned an Abigail. He hadn't really said much about his life at all. No, she was sure there had been no mention of an Abigail.

Rowena shook her head with conviction and
turned toward the small blonde. "She was a liar. I don't know who she is, but my husband will explain it when he returns."

"When will that be?"

She had received no word from John since he'd left. With fall quickly passing, the stores were being stockpiled, the fields had been harvested and turned over, and the preparations for winter were well advanced. If her husband did not return soon, it could be he would not be able to return until the spring. That would be true especially if he had left for Normandy. Her heart sank at the very thought.

"Please," Joan took her hands as if reading her mind, "do not think the worst.
It is not good for you in your condition."

"
To what do you refer? What condition?"

Joan's voice was quiet in the small room.
"You do not know?"

"Know what?
Why are you speaking in riddles?" Rowena was quickly losing patience.

"Your queasiness?"

"I think the eel soup was bad last night. Did no one else succumb?"

Joan's eyebrows were raised in expectation but Rowena had no answer for her."
Verily, my lady? Bad eel soup?"

"Something did not sit well with me."

Joan shook her head and it irritated Rowena.

"What? Pray tell then, what is my condition?"

"You are with child," Joan replied.

First disbelief then excitement gripped
Rowena. Realizing she had not had her menses since right after her husband's arrival, it was very possible that she was with child. It had been two months since she'd lain with him. She touched her tender breast. Of course! That was why her breasts were filling out, in preparation for the child that would soon suckle them.

Her complete joy knew no bounds as she imagined her very own child.
A child conceived by their long awaited wedding night. The realization that God had blessed their union with a child was almost too much. For so long she had thought God had abandoned her to be alone the rest of her life, and in a short few months her life had changed drastically.

Thank you
, Lord, that you are ever faithful even when we lose heart.

She grasped her hands
to her chest and smiled. "I think you are right. A child! I have conceived!"

Sitting on the side of the bed, she ran her hand over her abdomen and thought of the babe asleep in there.
It was a girl. She knew it was a girl. She would have dark hair like her father and a dimple on her cheek.

"
A child." She whispered the words to see how it sounded. Wonderful.

"We will not allow the woman in again
," Joan spoke with conviction but the reminder dampened Rowena's happiness.

"That is as it should be, methinks.
If John were here, he could prove her for the liar that she is. Since he is not, we do not have to deal with her lies."