The Second Time Around (5 page)

“I wanted to find out if you were still mad at me.”

“Mad?” she repeated in a huff. “I'm not mad, just pissed that you think just because I'm back I'm ready to jump back into your bed for a fling.”

“No, that's not what I was thinking.”

“Then what?” she barked impatiently.

He sighed heavily into the mouthpiece before finally saying. “I don't know what I was thinking. And that's the problem. When I'm around you I can't think.”

Neither could she but she'd be damned before she admitted that to him. “Then maybe if you'd stay away from me you won't have that problem.”

“Sorry, but I can't do that.”

His words startled her. “Why not?”

“Because I've never gotten over you, Bren. I don't know what it is, but there is something about you I just can't seem to let go of.”

Neither could she. Her thoughts and dreams were still about him, holding her, kissing her. Loving her. That last thought caused her to frown. If he loved her the way he had claimed then there was no way she would have caught him in the arms of another woman. Just thinking about it caused her temper to flare. “We can't go back in the past. The best thing we can both do is find some way to get along until it's time for me to leave. Maybe it would be best if you stayed away from the store.”

“I can't promise you that. I like being around you. Always have. Always will.”

Brenna closed her eyes, fighting the emotions stirring inside her, and took a deep breath. “Listen, I'm not in the mood to talk about this.”

“I didn't call to upset you.”

She sighed. “Then why did you call?”

There was a noticeable pause. “I called because I needed to hear your voice.”

His confession made her feel all queasy inside and immediately, she shook off the feeling. She thought about pretending there was static on the line the way she did whenever Aunt Nellie called and mentioned Jabarie by name. She tried to think of a snappy comeback but the only answer she could come up with was, “Oh.”

Silence hummed on the line. Brenna heard a door shut and a jingling of keys. She blinked then focused on the clock by her bedside and noticed it was almost ten o'clock. “Did you have dinner with your parents this evening?”

He chuckled lightly. “You remembered.”

“Yeah.” Oh, how could she forget? She remembered when Jabarie had invited her to start joining his family on Fridays. She would be sitting across the table as his mother snubbed her nose down at her and said or did whatever it took to make her feel uncomfortable.

Moving over to the window, Brenna gazed out across the water to the grand house at the top of the hill. Every detail of the manor was burned into her memory. She knew exactly how many windows were at the front of the structure; how far the driveway was from the main road. She knew the habits and routines of the staff and the layout of the entire interior of the house. She knew everything there was to know about Beaumont Manor, except one thing—how to feel welcomed.

“We had our usual dysfunctional dinner.”

Hearing the despair in his voice, she couldn't help but sympathize. “Sorry, I see not much has changed. How are Jace, Jaden, and Bianca?”

“Jace is still trying to run a tight ship with the employees. Jaden is still living on the West Coast fixing cars, and Bianca is still a customer relations genius.”

“Did she attend Morgan State like she had wanted?”

“Yep, and graduated with honors.”

“That's fabulous.” He went on to talk about his brothers and sister while she listened attentively and jumped in when appropriate. She'd always liked his siblings. Jace was three years older than Jabarie and reminded her so much of their father, Roger Beaumont. He was so consumed with work he rarely found time for relationships or fun. But underneath his tough demeanor was a puppy dog. Jaden, the black sheep of the family, and the younger brother, had taken off shortly after graduation to find his own way. He was the only one who'd ever stood up to their parents and she admired him for that. It had been at one of their family dinners with her in attendance, that Jaden rose from the table and told his father where he could shove his money. The look on his face was priceless. Bianca was more like Jabarie than the rest of the family. Warm, with a wonderful sense of humor and a creativity about her that made her the perfect director of guest relations.

There was another long pause and Brenna moved over to a small white vanity and took a seat. “Well, I guess I better get ready for bed.”

“Don't hang up…not yet. The night is still young.”

She lowered her eyelids while the soft murmur of his voice vibrated through her. “Jabarie, what do you want?”

“What I've always wanted, Bren. You.”

Then why didn't you come after me?
Brushing the thought aside, she blew out an impatient breath.

“I want to apologize for kissing you.”

Oh, great
. Even though the kiss had been a mistake the last thing she wanted was for him to regret kissing her.

“I apologize for kissing you when I know that is not at all what you wanted to happen. However, I don't regret it,” he added as if he could read her mind.

Brenna didn't say anything because she didn't trust herself. The best thing for both of them was to pretend it never happened and that was exactly what she had planned to do. “Look, I gotta go. I'm running bath water. When you see Jace and Bianca, tell them I said hello.”

“Bren, wait a minute.”

She didn't hang up although her instincts told her it would be the smartest move she would have made all day.

“Are you angry at me?”

“No. Should I be?” she asked softly.

“No.”

“Then I'm not,” she said trying not to sound as frustrated and she felt.

He chuckled lightly. “Okay. Then we're cool, right?”

“Yes, Jabarie,” she said impatiently.

“Good, then how about dinner tomorrow?”

“You are so hardheaded.”

“Yes. I am,” he agreed with a hearty chuckle.

It was a trait she knew all too well, but not one she had ever held against him. “I already told you before, no.”

“What's wrong with two friends sharing a meal?” he whispered, and the rumble of his voice warmed her blood.

“Nothing, but too much has happened for us to just pretend we're simply friends. Look, I've really got to go.” With that, she ended the call and returned the phone to the cradle. An overwhelming level of emotion surged through her reminding her that she still cared way too much about Jabarie. Brenna released a heavy breath. She could see already that being around each other was not going to be easy.

She sat there for the longest time and realized that being in the same proximity would be a problem unless she got her head on straight.

Brenna pushed him from her mind and allowed her eyes to travel around her private domain. She smiled. Her room had remained unchanged from its state five years ago when she left home. It was decorated in two shades of yellow with angels stenciled on the walls. Moving over to the small vanity, she reached for a comb and ran the teeth through the thick mass. Within seconds she had wrapped her hair and secured it with a scarf.

She rose and didn't bother trying to read again. After hearing Jabarie's voice there was no way she would be able to think about anything but him. Too wired to go to bed, she rose and suddenly felt desperate to be outside so she could breath. She didn't bother putting on any shoes. She wanted to feel the earth beneath her feet.

She moved out the sliding glass door and stepped onto the deck across the yard and out onto the beach. She breathed in the cool air that raised goose bumps on her bare arms. Instead of being cold, the wind calmed her nerves. She didn't stop walking until she was at the water's edge. She then lowered onto the wet sand and drew her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around her. Closing her eyes, Jabarie's face pushed to the front. They had spent so many nights lying out on the beach with her head on his chest and her fingers beneath his shirt, stroking the soft hairs that lightly covered his chest. Back then she loved everything about him. Now he was back stirring up emotions and feelings she hadn't felt in years.

A sob caught in her throat. She wished things could be the way it used to be, but it couldn't be and no matter how much she still cared about him there was no way she was going to fall victim to him again.

Sighing she realized she was letting her mind become cluttered with thoughts of him. It was her hormones dictating her actions. Nothing else. It was better than thinking she was going insane the way she couldn't get him off of her mind.

Her world had collapsed the day she walked into his apartment and found him lying on the couch with another woman. Anika Arnold. The vision of that night was still fresh in her mind. Anika's naked body straddling his lap. Her throaty laughter. Anger shot through her and tears filled her eyes.
Damn him!
She loved him with everything she had. How could he do that to her?

One thing for sure, she wasn't going to again fall for the only man she had ever loved. The only man with the power to break the wall she had built around her heart.

J
abarie stood in front of the large window that took up an entire wall in his office and gazed down at the ocean below. The window was open, catching the sounds and smell of the water, moving onto the shore.

Looking to his far right, he gazed in the direction of Ms. Nellie's house. Even though he couldn't see her, he knew Brenna was sitting out on the deck with her bare feet on the railing, drinking a cup of Irish Cream flavored coffee. He knew her routine by heart because he, too, used to get up extremely early in the morning just so he could join her before going to work. They would sit together on the bench and plan their future while watching the sun rise.

Man, he thought with a tight lipped-smile, that was such a long time ago, but to him it still felt like it had just been yesterday. Those had been the times when he couldn't keep his hands off her, or his lips for that matter.

A whirlwind of emotions traveled through his chest as he remembered the taste of her sweet lips when he kissed her yesterday. What had got to him was that it was like no time had passed. He knew the way she tilted her head and the soft purrs that slipped from between her lips whenever he pressed her against his hardened length. When she had parted her lips and invited him inside her mouth, he had entered as if he and he alone had the right to be there.

Struggling to breathe, he turned away from the window. Jabarie felt every bit of his thirty years as he lowered into the large swivel chair and reached for the mug of coffee and brought it to his lips. Even now, just thinking about Brenna made his heart skip a beat. She was the only woman that had ever gotten under his skin. The only woman he'd ever loved. The only woman who had broken his heart.

He clenched his jaw and fought the unwanted need that snaked through his veins. While walking into work this morning he had found himself distracted by a woman in the lobby because she had been wearing the same perfume Brenna used to dab on her wrist and neck. But it was missing her sweet alluring scent that made him dizzy with an adrenaline rush.
I'm losing my mind
. Somehow he needed to get her off his mind, because last night he could not. After a painfully long, boring dinner with his parents and siblings, he had gone home to an empty condo and an even colder and lonelier bed. So he called her, needing to hear her voice, hoping that it would help him sleep, only instead, talking to her, confessing to her how she made him feel, had only made matters worse. Images of her honey-brown hair and large hazel eyes had dogged his sleep. He spent half the night tossing and turning, yearning for her warm body to be lying next to him. He dreamed of making love to her and wanted badly to bury himself so far inside her one wouldn't know where one began and the other ended.

Taking another sip of the lukewarm liquid, Jabarie scowled as he remembered somewhere between three and four this morning, he decided it was time to face the undeniable fact that for the last five years he had tortured himself night after night reliving the passion that only Brenna was able to extract from him. No other woman had ever come close. Sure he was a man with needs so celibacy had never been a consideration. Nevertheless, no woman had ever come close to making him feel both the mental and physical attachment he felt with Brenna. He still had every luscious curve of her body embedded in his mind. He had never forgotten the distinctive sound of her voice with the southern Delaware inflection, the graceful way she tilted her head whenever she looked up at him, and most of all he remembered her declaration that she would love him forever.

Jabarie gave a bitter laugh then brought the mug to his lips, emptied it and dropped it down hard onto his desk. Even now he spent considerable time wondering if anything they had shared was true. After she had left him, he wondered if all they'd shared had been a lie.

“I thought you were going to stop working on Saturdays?”

Startled, he glanced up to find his mother standing in the doorway. Jessica Beaumont was one woman who always managed to look amazing so early in the morning. Her slender frame looked elegant in a peach Chanel suit. Her long salt-and-pepper hair was pulled up in a neat chignon that emphasized her round face and slanted dark brown eyes. A small Coach purse was tucked under her arm as she sashayed across the hunter green carpet toward his desk.

“Didn't get much sleep last night,” he confessed with a slight shrug of his shoulders beneath a black tailor-made suit.

“I can tell.” He watched as his mother's concern appeared in her eyes. “I can have my doctor prescribe you something.”

Jabarie groaned inward. Pills were his mother's answer to everything. “No, I'm fine.” He reached for his mug and took another sip and remembered it was already empty. “What brings you here this early?”

“Your father and I are taking a tour of the new wing of the hotel and then having brunch with the Johnstons.”

He nodded. His mother spent most of her day having lunch with her society friends and planning charity functions while his father traveled around to each of their two dozen hotels, insisting on seeing if they were being run properly. As if he didn't trust his son to do his job. Roger Beaumont rarely held a conversation that included a topic other than work.

“How's everything with the Las Vegas deal going?” His mother asked, breaking into his thoughts.

“Fabulous. We should be breaking ground some time next month.”

She crossed her legs and looked pleased. “Your father and I are so proud of you.”

“Thank you.” His father had groomed his children to take over the family business since the moment they first started school. Roger Beaumont had taught his children they could have or do anything they wanted as long as it involved the Beaumont Corporation. Another career field was never an option. Luckily he never dreamed of doing anything else. Unlike his brother who was a disgrace according to his parents. Jabarie admired his brother Jaden because he had his own mind and was doing what he wanted to do, unlike Jace, who was in charge of hiring and recruitment for all of the hotels, but who'd rather have been an engineer.

He stared down into his mug and thought again about managing the Las Vegas office. Maybe change was what he needed.

“You want to talk about it?” His mother asked, breaking into his thoughts again. Jabarie glanced across the desk at her impatient face. “Well, I'm waiting. I knew something was on your mind last night at dinner.”

He stared down at the polished mahogany desktop before answering. “Brenna's back in town.”

He looked up in time to see his mother's eyes grow large and round and a disapproving frown bunched her forehead. “And what does that have to do with you?”

Every fiber in his body warned him not to even have this conversation. His mother had never made her feelings about Brenna a secret, but he'd always thought it was clearly unfair. She believed fruit didn't fall far from the tree and that she was a gold-digger just like her mother had been. There were times when he had considered the possibility, but he just couldn't allow himself to believe that of her.

“It doesn't mean anything except that I realize that after all these years I still haven't gotten over her.”

“Are you serious?” she asked with the tightening of her lips. “The gold-digger left you the night before your wedding. I had to stand up in front of that church and tell everyone the wedding was off. Do you know how humiliating that was for me?”

And what about me? It was always about his mother.

“What could there possibly still be there?” she asked tentatively.

He wasn't sure yet, but it was definitely something that wasn't just going away.

“I think starting anything with her would be a big mistake. Claudia's said her daughter Brooke has been asking about you.”

Brooke Washington was perfectly painted and groomed, and expensive and spoiled just like her mother. Past the sexual gratification there was no satisfying her. He leaned back in the chair and gave his mother a long, hard look. All his mother ever cared about was securing a daughter-in-law of the same financial class. It didn't matter if she had no brain. The last thing he needed in his life. He scowled inwardly. His mother had been setting him up with women for years even while he was engaged to Brenna. Anika Arnold. She was definitely a piece of work. She had been stalking him for months and then the night before his wedding day, she had appeared at his apartment in nothing but a long trench coat that she had graciously dropped in a heap at the door. The bubbleheaded girl had nothing but dollar signs in her eyes. No way. He wanted a woman who loved him for the man he was, not for all the diamonds he could afford to buy. One thing about Brenna, she never wanted anything from him. She loved him for him not what he could give her. At least that was what he had thought before she had taken the money and vanished.

“I hate to see you get caught in her web again. Don't forget about the money she took.”

How could he forget when his mother made it a habit to remind him. “I'm a big boy, Mother. I think I can handle myself around Brenna.”

“Why is she here?”

“Ms. Nellie sprained her ankle.”

“Oh.” He noticed the moment of concern before she hid it behind a look of discontent. While teenagers his mother and Ms. Nellie had been good friends before his mother met his father and deemed herself too good. Sometimes his mother's behavior really bothered him.

“She's not staying, is she?”

“No.”

“Good.” Noticing the look on his face she quickly tried to explain. “I know you think I never liked that girl and I don't have anything personally against her except that I don't think she is good enough for you. Jabarie, honey, you could do so much better.”

Suddenly in need of another cup of coffee, he rose with his mug in his hand. “Well, I don't think we have to worry about that. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me.”

Brenna arrived at the store and had another long day and was glad she had convinced her aunt to hire more help. The students dropped in that morning and she hired them both to work during the busiest time of the day. By the close of business she was tired. It had been so busy she didn't realize until she was closing out the register and dropping the money into a floor safe that she hadn't heard from Jabarie all day.

Thinking about last night, the loneliness of the last five years welled up inside of her, and at that moment she knew that she had made a mistake coming back. The emotional wounds had reopened. She wasn't angry with him, she was mad at herself. Now it was bleeding again and that was the last thing she wanted to happen. She needed to get rid of the scar and heal so she could finally move on with her life.

Just as well he hadn't come around, she thought while she turned the deadbolt and headed towards home. No point in starting something again that had ended badly a long time ago.

It was a lovely evening. The breeze was warm for an eighty degree evening. Brenna decided to take her time heading home and stopped to browse in several stores along the way. She spotted a shop with Delaware memorabilia and dropped in looking for angels. She had been collecting African-American angels for as long as she could remember. While staring into a glass case, she felt a light tap at her shoulder. She swung around. After a stunned moment of silence, Brenna recognized the woman standing behind her, squealed and pulled Sheyna Simmons into a bouncing hug. When she leaned back to look at her, her eyes sparkled with excitement. “Hey, girl!” She curved her arms around her shoulders and hugged her good friend again.

“I heard you were in town,” Sheyna said as she pulled back. “I said uh-uh, there is no way my best friend is back in town and didn't tell me.” She pressed her lips dramatically while waiting for an explanation. Brenna knew she definitely owed her one.

“My coming was so sudden I barely had time to pack.” Her eyes swept her tall, slender frame. “How are you?”

“Better now. Come on. We've got a lot of catching up to do.” Sheyna draped an arm around her shoulders and led her out the store and down the street to a small coffee shop on the corner. They found an empty booth near the window and took a seat. They each ordered a cup of coffee.

“So tell me. How long are you here for?”

“Just until Aunt Nellie is better.”

Her mouth drooped. “I was hoping you were here for good. This place isn't the same without you.”

Brenna smiled at her childhood friend. The dark mahogany beauty with her wide eyes and generous mouth. She loved what she had done with her dark chestnut colored hair. The ponytail was gone, and in its place was a sophisticated style that fell into layers and framed a rounded face.

“I've got to get back to Dallas. I opened a bookstore last year.”

“You finally did it. That's wonderful!”

She nodded proudly. Her life hadn't turned out quite the way she had planned but at least some of her dreams had come true.

The moment their waitress brought them both a glass of water and moved to the next table, Brenna should have known that Sheyna was going to cut to the chase.

“Why didn't you keep in touch? I haven't heard from you in almost fifteen months. I thought we were friends?”