The Second Time Around (6 page)

She could hear the hurt in her voice and regretted her decision. After she had found Jabarie in the arms of another woman, Brenna had called Sheyna to tell her the wedding was off with only a few brief details. Since then she sent her Christmas cards and an occasional phone call, but as soon as Sheyna mentioned Jabarie or Sheraton Beach, she quickly ended the conversation. After awhile, the contact became less and less. “After I left I wanted to cut all ties to this place.”

Her generous mouth turned downward. “But I'm supposed to be your best friend or at least I thought I was.”

“I know, and I'm sorry.” Reaching across the table Brenna squeezed her hand. “I guess I've got a lot of making up to do.”

“I forgive you as long as you promise not to do that again,” she replied with a smile that brightened her face. “I really miss having someone to talk to about Jace.”

Their waitress arrived with their coffee. Brenna waited until she left to help another customer before she replied. “You still working with him?”

Sheyna rolled her eyes heavenly. “Yes, and that man is still impossible. Nothing is ever good enough.” Jace was the president of human resources for the Beaumont Corporation. Sheyna managed employee relations, and she and Jace bumped heads on a regular basis.

“We still don't see eye to eye on anything,” she began with a scowl. “I am interested in building employee moral and starting referral and incentive programs, and he's more interested in cutting manpower.”

Brenna brought the piping hot liquid to her lips. “It sounds like he still has a major crush on you.”

A soft blush spread across Sheyna's cheeks. “Oh, puhlease! No matter how handsome he is, Jace's the last person I'd ever date,” she ended with a rude snort. Sheyna then took a sip from her mug. She studied her friend over the brim and something in her eyes told Brenna she was lying. She knew Sheyna well enough to know when something was bothering her. Sheyna wasn't telling the truth about her feelings but as stubborn as her friend had a tendency to be, she decided to let it slide for now.

Leaning forward her eyes sparkled with curiosity. “Have you seen Jabarie yet?”

Brenna tried to nod as if it was no big deal.

Sheyna arched a delicate eyebrow. “And?”

She met her piercing gaze. “And what? We spoke and he and I both understand what happened between us was a long time ago.”

“You don't mean that?”

It took everything Brenna had to keep a straight face. “Yes, I do.”

Shaking her head, she gave her a long look of disbelief. “The two of you were so in love. I just can't see how you can just casually say hello, how're you doing and then it's business as usual. I would be in his face demanding to know why he had been with that skank Anika.”

She reached for her mug. “Well, I'm not asking because it no longer matters.”

“Uh-huh.”

Brenna saw the question in Sheyna's eyes, but she hoped she wouldn't ask it because she didn't want to talk about him.

“She married an NBA player last year. It was in
Jet
magazine and everything.”

So much for wishful thinking. Although she felt a wave of relief knowing that Anika and Jabarie's relationship had ended. That's what he gets, she thought. He had a peach and settled for a lemon.

“Good for her.” She took a sip then leaned back on the bench. “Aunt Nellie told me you're buying a new house,” she said, smoothly changing the subject.

Excitement lit Sheyna's eyes as she eased gracefully back into her chair. “I close next week.”

She was relieved when the subject shifted. While they finished their coffee, Sheyna spoke in detail about the three-bedroom home she had bought in a new development within walking distance of the beach. After several failed relationships, she had given up on finding a husband and decided to buy her own house. By herself.

“Well, we'll have to give you a housewarming party.”

Sheyna frowned. “Please, no parties. Although I could use some help moving.”

“I'd be happy to help.”

They talked about what they had been up to the last several months while they finished their coffee then made a promise to call in a day or two and said their goodbyes.

Heading home, Brenna cut across the beach and came through the back door. She stepped into the house and was met by the smell of Chinese food. Her favorite. She dropped her purse on the kitchen counter and moved into the dining room and spotted Jabarie sitting at the table across from Aunt Nellie.

Her breath caught in her throat. Heat traveled down low and she took several deep breaths and willed her body to behave. What happened between them had ended five years ago.
So why am I feeling horny?
She hadn't thought about being with a man in years. Yet as soon as she took one look at him her body seemed to come alive and hummed with needs she hadn't felt in so long.

Aunt Nellie's eyes lit up when she spotted her standing in the door. “There you are. I was wondering if you had gotten lost and needed me to send the dogs after you.”

“No. I ran into Sheyna and we went and had a coffee,” she somehow found her voice to say.

“Hello, Brenna.”

It was as if the man had put a spell on her. The very instant their eyes met her mind went blank. All she was aware of was a strong sensation that radiated through her body. “Jabarie.”

Her aunt patted the place setting beside her. “Come sit and eat with us. Jabarie was nice enough to come by and check on me. We were both hungry so he ordered Chinese.”

“I remembered it was your favorite.”

He gave her that familiar smile that always made her want to rush back to his apartment with him and slip beneath the covers. Brenna's heart wasn't cooperating. He rose and moved to pull the chair out for her. He was dressed in a red cotton T-shirt that strained against his muscles and a pair of jeans.

“I'll be right there.” She spun on her heels and moved into her room where she took several deep breaths. What in the world was he doing here? She thought she had made it clear that it was best if they kept their distance. Why was she even surprised? Jabarie always did have his own mind. Now she just had to find a way to make it through dinner without falling for his charm.

Aunt Nellie chatted nonstop while she tried to concentrate on her food and not Jabarie who was staring across the table at her. But that wasn't easy to do. She was aware of his broad shoulders and muscled body. As he ate she glanced at his long fingers holding the fork as he brought it to his thick delicious lips. A tremor passed through her every time she noticed his hands or pictured them in her mind, she thought about what they felt like against her skin.

An hour later, Aunt Nellie insisted that she was tired. Jabarie helped her back to her room while Brenna put the food away. She had just wiped down the dining room table and had moved into the kitchen when she felt his presence in the room.

She glanced over her shoulder to find him leaning inside the door. She remembered how they used to spend countless evenings together, washing and drying dishes and stealing kisses when Aunt Nellie wasn't looking.

She gave a nervous smile. “Thanks for dinner and helping with Aunt Nellie. You know she adores you.”

“I adore her as well.”

They stood there for a long silent moment, looking at each other but not saying anything before she finally cleared her throat. “Well, I don't need to walk you to the door but I do need to clean the kitchen.”

Instead of leaving, Jabarie entered the room. Swallowing, she took a step back and fought to maintain her composure.

He cornered her against the counter. “We need to talk. I can't stop thinking about you.”

Her heart fluttered wildly against her chest. “That would be a mistake.”

He leaned in close, close enough for his breath to caress her cheek. “My only mistake was ever letting you go.”

Her skin flushed hot and she couldn't seem to catch her breath. She looked up at him and the look in his eyes was so intense she forgot what she was about to say.

The heat exploded the second his lips touched hers. It was as if no time at all had passed since their last kiss. His mouth was hot and hungry and every hard line angle was pressed tightly against her. She kissed him back, meeting his mouth with matching passion. He tunneled his hand into her hair, holding her head with a strong grip as his tongue slipped between her lips. All she knew was that she wanted to dive in, to hell with the consequences. She closed the distance that was left and placed her hands on his shoulders and lifted onto her tiptoes.

“I want to finish what we started yesterday,” he whispered against her mouth.

Every cell in her body screamed, “yes!” She wanted this. She wanted him and responded by resuming the kiss and arching toward him.

Moments later, when he ended the kiss and raised his head, she nearly cried out in protest.

“Have dinner with me tomorrow?” he breathed against her lips.

Drawing a deep breath, she forced herself to speak. “I can't.”

His eyes were looking directly into hers, making it impossible to look away. “You can't or you won't?”

It had only been twenty-four hours and already she felt the seductive pull of his spell. Scraping up what strength she had left, Brenna pushed herself away from him. “Both.”

“Brenna, I'm not going away. I plan to spend every second, every moment with you until whatever is supposed to happen between us, happens.”

She stepped back and stared at Jabarie, fighting the hard throb of her body and the knowledge that men like him knew how to break a woman's heart. “And I'm supposed to be excited about that?”

“I would hope that you'd want to spend time with me.”

Anger ripped at her. “Well, I don't.”

“Your kiss says otherwise.”

She rolled her eyes heavenward. “Listen, I'm really not in the mood to have this conversation right now.”

“Okay,” he said but something in his eyes told her he wouldn't stop until she agreed. “I'll be by tomorrow.”

Her heart jackhammered. “Please, don't bother.”

“I told you I planned to spend as much time with you as I can.” His voice had the ability to lull away all the defenses she put up.

Brenna stepped away from him, yet his body heat clung to her even after there was several feet between them. “Why?”

“It's the only way I'll ever get you out of my system.” He ran a hand against her cheek. “See you tomorrow.” With that, he turned and walked toward the door.

Brenna moved over to the sink and immediately filled it with soapy water. While stacking the dishes, she took a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves. Jabarie still had the ability to turn her world upside down; unfortunately she didn't want her world rocked. Nor did she want the kisses he was intent on showering her with. The power of the kiss still had her lips tingling.

Reaching for the faucet, she shut the water off and reached for the first plate and tried to ignore the arousal humming through her body. Her desire was alive and her body was yearning. She hadn't been with a man in five years because the only man she had ever wanted was Jabarie. He had been her first and only lover and no man made her feel the way Jabarie did. But being around him made her realize that no matter how much she tried to deny it she still wanted him in her bed. And that would be a big mistake.

T
he next morning Brenna woke up slowly. She rolled onto her back then tossed her arms happily into the air. It was Sunday. Her day off and she planned to do something she hadn't done in a long time. Relax.

Since she had opened her bookstore last year, she had been spending every waking hour making it the success that it was today. Unfortunately, as a result, she'd had little to no life at all. Other than an occasional happy hour with her partner, Rhonda, the only place she visited often was her queen-size bed. Brenna frowned. It was sad to admit, but outside of work, she had no life at all. She had been too busy with her store to think about her non-existent sex life, but not anymore. Jabarie had awakened desires she hadn't felt for years. Now her body was demanding things she refused to give it.

Stretching her arms over her head, a smile curled her lips. She was looking forward to a day of strolling along the boardwalk, checking out all of the new shops that emerged in the last several years. But what she wanted most of all was to spend the afternoon sitting out on the beach with her book in hand.

Brenna sat up in the bed then reached up and removed the scarf from her head and combed her fingers through her hair. Glancing over at the window, she watched the yellow curtains sway due to a gentle ocean breeze filtering through the room. She sighed. It was going to be another lovely day. Staring out the window, she thought about how different the two cities were.

The only complaint she had about Dallas was the humid summer heat. It was so hot that she had started taking a change of clothes with her to work. The greatest advantage was there wasn't any snow. When she had first run off to stay with her cousin Latoya in Denton, a suburb of Dallas, she vowed to never return to Sheraton Beach. That winter, every time she left the house dressed in a light jacket she'd smile. However, last year she had found herself missing ice-skating on Sheraton Pond, the sleigh rides, and sliding down the hill on the back of Jabarie's toboggan while holding on tightly to his waist.

Brenna closed her eyes as thoughts of him filled her mind. Sundays they used to spend together. Traveling along the coast. Going to New York for the weekend for dinner and a Broadway play. Or even staying home out on the beach, jet skiing or engaging in some other water sport. But what she enjoyed most was the two of them spending afternoons swinging in a hammock that hung from a large tree in Aunt Nellie's backyard. Opening her eyes, she stared out the window again and couldn't help but wonder what he had planned for the day. He was probably planning to spend the day with some special woman in his life. The thought caused a wave of jealousy that she didn't want to feel. She yawned and tried to push the feelings and thoughts aside, but it was too late. It had already been embedded in her mind. The thought of Jabarie being with another woman bothered her. Why, she wondered. After all, their relationship ended five years ago. And she would be a fool to think that like her, he had been celibate all these years. But as she dragged her legs up to her chest and leaned back against the headboard, she realized that a part of her would always love Jabarie. After all, he had been her first for so many things.

Brenna rested her chin on her knee as she remembered their first kiss. She was thirteen at the time and even though it was awkward, and her braces had gotten in the way, it was an experience she had never forgotten. When she was fifteen, Jabarie had taken her on her first date to the movies. The whole time they held hands. At eighteen she had given him her virginity. She released a heavy sigh. There was no way she could think about her past and not think about Jabarie.

With a scowl, she pushed back the sheets and swung her legs over the side of the bed then she rose slowly and put her feet inside her slippers. There was no way she was going to spend her day lying in bed thinking about Jabarie. She moved to the shower and quickly climbed beneath the water. But as she closed her eyes and relaxed her shoulders while the hot invigorating water massaged her shoulders, memories of her past, flooded her mind again.

When she thought of Jabarie, she had no choice but to think of the way her body had responded to him. Jabarie knew she wanted him because she was certain he'd felt the tremors and her panic when he kissed her. All it had taken was a kiss and the sound of his deep baritone voice to bring her so close to giving herself to him.

Why am I thinking about him?
She needed to get dressed and enjoy her day off, yet she was wondering if Jabarie was thinking about her as well. Angrily, she reached for the soap and lathered her washcloth then started to sing, determined to rid him from her mind. As she washed her body, she sung one song after another, occupying her mind with everything but them. But it didn't last. Before long she was singing what had once been considered “their song” and screamed inwardly. Damn that man for insisting on being a part of her life again.

Within minutes she turned off the water and returned to her room. She slipped on a pair of pink cotton shorts and a white spaghetti-strap shirt. As she oiled her legs she thought about what Jabarie had said and wondered if they really could work on their friendship. It was worth a try. Otherwise, he was never going to give up and if she wasn't careful she might find herself letting her guard down only to face heartache a second time.

Rising from the bed, she padded into the kitchen and was pleased to see that Aunt Nellie had already made coffee. She moved over to the cabinet, removed a funny red mug she had given her aunt for her birthday six years ago, and filled it with coffee.

Sitting at the table, she brought the hot liquid to her lips and stared off in a daze as she remembered last night and their explosive kiss. She took several deep breaths and tried to calm the throbbing down low that only he could soothe.

For the last five years she had done just fine without Jabarie, now all she could think about was him and her and what could have been. Bringing the brim of the cup to her lips again, she took a gulp of her coffee, annoyed at her feelings about him. So many questions about her past tormented her. Maybe Jabarie was right. They still needed to let whatever was supposed to happen, happen, so they could each get the other out of their systems once and for all.

Brenna closed her eyes and asked for strength where Jabarie was concerned. If he continually insisted in being around her, getting over him was not going to happen. Instead, she would run a risk of losing her heart again. Although the new Jabarie had matured and was more confident and determined than ever, whatever they once had was over, and she refused to start it again.

Opening her eyes, she tilted her chin defiantly. When she decided to return to help her aunt, it was not to become love struck over Jabarie again or for her feelings to resurface.
Get a grip
. This was only a short-lived thing. Once her aunt was back on her feet and she returned to Dallas that would be the end of her thoughts about Jabarie Beaumont.

A surprising wave of regret met that thought and caused Brenna to shiver. Briefly, as she stared out at the ocean, she allowed herself a few moments to fantasize about a life beyond her temporary visits. A life with Jabarie Beaumont. She traced the brim of the mug as memories of them making love filled her mind. She sighed. It would be wonderful to make love again. A tingle started in her belly and began to travel outward. Abruptly, she shook her head, scattering the intimate thoughts before they could claim her mind completely.
It's sex, nothing else
. She had to believe that and after all this time it was only natural. Her fantasy was based on a physical need. Yep, that's it. She released a sigh of relief. Sexual attraction was easier to deal with than any possible emotional attachment.

“What are you thinking about?”

Startled, Brenna glanced up to find Aunt Nellie standing in the doorway dressed comfortably in seersucker walking shorts and a T-shirt, leaning her weight on her wooden cane.

“Nothing,” she replied with a smile. “Just thinking about spending the afternoon sitting out on the beach.” Setting down her coffee cup, she folded her trembling hands in her lap.

“How did the evening go with Jabarie?”

Brenna groaned inward. Leave it to her aunt to get right to the point. “What do you mean?”

“Have the two of you talked yet?” Brenna noticed that worry darkened her eyes and a line formed between her brows.

“No.” Every time she was around him, talking was the last thing on either of their minds. Memories of their kiss came flooding back to her and she quickly pushed them aside.

Her aunt limped over to the table and took the seat across from her.

“How's your ankle this morning?” she asked.

“Still sore,” Nellie said with a smile. “I'm afraid I've been overdoing it lately. I guess I need to spend the afternoon resting. Now enough about me, I want to know what you and Jabarie are going to do.”

Brenna faced her aunt across the kitchen table. “Nothing.”

“You know he still loves you.”

The knot in her throat thickened. “Did he tell you that?”

“No, but he doesn't have to. It's written all over his face every time he mentions your name.”

Frustrated, she raised her mug to her lips and peered at her over the rim. “If he loved me so much why did he deceive me the way he did? Why didn't he come after me?”

The dismay her aunt tried to hide brought a sad grin to her lips.

“That is something the two of you need to discuss. But before you leave and return to Dallas, I think you need to find the time to talk.”

Her eyes traveled around the small kitchen that was filled with knickknacks. Counter space was occupied by ceramic jars. She looked everywhere but at her aunt because she didn't want her to see the fear in her eyes.

She reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “Bren, don't you want to be happy?”

She gave a laugh that she noticed lacked humor. “Who says I'm not happy?”

Aunt Nellie gave her a who-are-you-trying-to-fool look. “You forget. I used to change your diapers. I'm the one who raised you, which means I know you better than anyone else ever could.”

Brenna could only swallow because what she said was true.

“All your life you dreamed of having two things. Do you remember that?”

Pressing her lips together, she nodded. “To have a family with Jabarie and open my own bookstore.”

She nodded. “And there is nothing worse than losing sight of your dreams.”

“One out of two ain't bad,” Brenna replied teasingly.

“Yeah, but two is even better. Why don't you just talk to the man and then follow your heart.”

“My heart is what got me in trouble the first time.”

“Yeah, but now the two of you are older and wiser. The two of you were so in love.”

Yes, we were.

“I just hate to see you give all that up.”

Brenna hated to see the look of disappointment on her aunt's face. “Aunt Nellie, a part of me will always love Jabarie, but I just can't risk losing my heart to him again. I don't think I could survive the pain a second time.” Rising from her chair, she moved over to the pot and refilled her coffee mug then reached up into the cabinet and fixed her aunt a cup as well. Aunt Nellie waited until she had returned to her seat before she responded.

“I remember when your mother was a teenager. Hell on wheels. It didn't matter how much leather my daddy put on her butt, Shaunda was going to do what Shaunda wanted. She was determined to find her a rich man. I remember when she found out she was pregnant. She came home excited. She was dating this rich developer who was in the area at the time. She just knew he was going to marry her. Instead he claimed that you weren't none of his and even had his lawyer show legal proof that he'd had a vasectomy several years before. It wasn't until after you were born that she admitted that Aaron was your father.” Smiling, she paused long enough to take a sip before continuing. “He was so happy because he'd been in love with your mother for as far back as we could remember. But Shaunda only saw him as her rebound man. He wanted to marry her but she refused; however, she had no problem taking his money. He didn't care. He adored you so much there wasn't anything he wouldn't have done for his little girl.” She brought the mug to her lips again and her face saddened. “I remember when he was killed. You were about three at the time and after a lot of hard work and determination on Aaron's part, your mother had finally admitted that she loved him and agreed to marry him. He had rushed off to get a ring to make it official and I guess in his haste to get back to the two women in his life, he didn't see that truck as he came around that curve. I was at the house when Shaunda got the news.”

Brenna had heard the story many times before and each time a sob lodged her throat at the thought of the daddy she had lost. The father she never had a chance to know.

“After that your mother was more determined than ever to marry for money. And when she met Clyde Powell, and he offered her to be in his life, I knew nothing I or anyone said was going to make a difference,” she added with a scowl.

While sipping her coffee, Brenna thought about her mother. To her a man was more important than her own daughter. As much as she hated to think about it that knowledge still hurt.