The Sect (35 page)

I didn’t understand. Reven had slept with me before and Noah was the reason I was caught in the first place, so why did this time bother him? “Why are you upset at me for something you did to me? You called his attention to what I did. Was this your form of punishment because you told me not to masturbate? I’m so tired of trying to navigate your mercurial moods when I’m the one—”

He rushed forward, almost kissing me. He released a streaming breath, allowing it flitter about my nose and lips. “He lied to you if he told you that. Regardless of what happened, he was
never
supposed to fuck you. Ever.”
 

My face burned with a consuming heat. The pain of what was done to me fell away for a memory of something else. Something he had awakened. I meekly leaned forward and he immediately stepped back. Every time I drew near, he receded, keeping his burning stare on me. He placed his hand on my sternum, preventing me from going further. “Go back to your room. Now!” He released me and turned his back on me. “Don’t spend your last day here with me. Do. Something. Else.”

“You’re such a—” I threw up my hands in defeat and frustration. “I don’t know what you are. I know why you do all the things you do. You’re protecting me. What I don’t get is why you’re bothering at all if you’re just going to continue to be like this.”

He looked over his shoulder at me. “Princess, you are being deeply deluded. The saddest thing is I think you’re fully aware that you are. You like being this way because it’s comfortable. You’ve become complacent while living a big fucking lie. You think this is rebellion? You think you’re fighting? You’re running straight to what you should be running away from. It’s too bad you don’t understand it all yet. Tonight you will.” He shook his head, biting his lip. “I can’t believe you chose me.” His fists tightened, draining the color from his hands. “Why do you have to fuck up everything?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

“What are you talking about? They are…letting me go no matter what happens.” Though the words were said, I barely believed them myself.

He turned abruptly to face off with me. “Are you really that vacuous? No, you can’t be.” His head tilted down as he seemed to lose his breath. “Keaton,” he sighed his voice lowering, “what do you think is going to happen to you tonight?”

“I don’t know.”

“People die here, remember?” He shut his eyes, erasing the glint of sympathy he held in them for a moment. “Some by their choice, some by Reven’s, some by the rich, sick bastards here.” He opened his eyes with a darkness that scared me. “What do you think freedom is?”

“I—I don’t know,” I sobbed, wringing my hands. Fear took hold of my body making my muscles ache as they violently shook.

“Oh, princess,” he said in a voice so calm it made me sink deeper into the terror. “I think you do. I think you understand it completely. Do you want me to show you where you’ll go?”

“N—no.”

“I’m not giving you a choice.” He cupped my face and spoke softly against my forehead, “Since you chose me, I’m taking control of what we’re going to do today. I’m going to show you where your freedom will lead you.”

My words escaped me from the moment he led me to the stables and took one of the horses, taking me for a ride into the heavily wooded area where I had attempted to escape to before.

 
I remained silent, never asking why we didn’t just leave on foot.
 

The smell was faint at first, but eventually it overwhelmed my senses. He stopped at an unearthed plastic septic tank. The top was removed, assaulting the air with its putrid stench. I held tightly to Noah’s waist, unwilling to get off the horse. I buried my nose against his back and flooded my nose with the scent of his shirt—the scent of him. He didn’t allow me the relief for very long.
 

After he dismounted, he helped me off the horse, setting me down on level ground.

“I know what’s there,” I said, covering my nose with my hand.

He took my hand, pulling me along as he navigated through the forest. The trees became less dense and opened to a meadow of dead grass and rotting leaves. Lined up haphazardly were markers; seven across in three rows. As I stepped forward, the hairs on the back on my neck began to bristle.

“Some parents don’t pay enough for the ransom. At least not enough to outbid the people who want to kill them. These people stayed in the house and were given better treatment than you were because they understood what you didn’t. Some sacrificed themselves willingly, a few didn’t. What you’re looking at right now, Keaton, is freedom.”

Turning my back to him and the horrible scene, I covered my mouth and sobbed. “Can’t you stop it? Why would you bring me here and show me what I already knew, and then do nothing about it? You said—” I sucked back a snivel, trying to keep my voice audible. “I thought you cared about me.”

His steps crackled the leaves around us as he advanced forward. It was a place full of dead things—literally and figuratively—stuck in a place where nothing survived, and even if it did, it was hollowed out. He grabbed my shoulders, turning me around. His eyes were frigidly cold, his expression pressed into a haunting smirk. “I’ve been lying to you, Keaton. I’ve consistently deceived you to get what I wanted from you. This is the point I warned you about.”
 

His skewed smile deepened, throwing me further into the hole he began to bury me in. “It’s funny…you were so strong and fighting to survive in the beginning—fighting to escape. The moment I made you come, you stopped actively trying to leave. The minute you thought you lost me, you wanted to die. I’m the only thing you’re hanging on to in this place because you thought I was the only one you had.”
 

He leaned forward, kissing my forehead. “You never had me, Keaton, but I always had you. I’m not going to help you because I don’t give a shit if you die tonight. It’s what you were always meant to do. Your parents were outbid and there is nothing you, them, or anyone can do to stop what’s going to happen to you tonight.” He cupped my face, his grip harsh and burning. “Welcome to the beginning of your freedom, princess. I’m sure you’re wishing at this point that you had picked someone else to spend your last night with.” He released me, allowing me to slip to the ground in a huddle of tears and wails.

I was right all along. I was going to die in this place and never see my parents again. The woman who realized that fact was not the woman on her knees crying for what she thought she had and never did.
 

I was someone else, because tonight when the final phase happened to me, I wouldn’t fight it. There wasn’t a point.
 

The man. The monster. The enigma I’d never figured out—and had a feeling I never fully would—was right.

I was blinded by the things he did to me and looked away from what I’d seen coming from the very beginning.

M
Y
MIND
left my body, leaving me a brainless proxy who went through the motions to prepare for her death. I had no idea what to expect about how it was going to end, even though I knew it was going to end. I was a woman pending execution. I couldn’t eat, and my hands could barely maintain some semblance of a steady grip.
 

When Nadine arrived, she placed a garment bag on my bed and looked at me. I was sure she’d seen it many times before. There was neither sympathy nor anger in her expression.

“Did your parents outbid?” I questioned her. “Is that why you’re still here? Do they consistently outbid the ones who want to kill you?”

Putting her hands on her hips, she scowled at me. “I’ve never been placed in the pool to be bid on. I made Reven realize that I’m more valuable to him alive than dead. You can’t place a dollar value on women like me. I submit when needed and I do what needs to be done when it’s needed. I am the walking example of the real principles in The Doctrine, the ones pretty much everyone seems to miss. And…I decoded the last line of The Doctrine a long, long time ago. Only four people have—well now only three. I think all those things put me in a category you would never be in.”

The last line of The Doctrine? What was she talking about? I couldn’t recall what it said, but in the moment, it seemed like the most important thing to uncover.

She took my hand, leading me back to the bed. “Put that on. I’m supposed to escort you to a suite down the hall.”

“Down the hall?” I asked, not expecting an answer. I slowly unzipped the bag, finding a white tea-length dress. The bodice was fitted with an empire waist and the skirt portion was silk with a tulle petticoat sewn in. I fingered the silk material in confusion, because it could’ve been a wedding dress.

She shrugged. “Members have weird fantasies.” She brought the bouquet of white roses from behind her back and handed it to me. “Fun, huh?”
 

I stared at her until her inappropriate smile began to fade.

The door opened and it took swallowing my beating heart from its location in my throat before I could look at who arrived, Reven. His walk was stiffer than usual. His teeth were clenched as though he were either angry or experiencing some sort of pain.

Nadine immediately straightened her posture and curtsied. She left the room quickly, giving Reven and me a moment alone.

“This is the night of your final transition, Keaton.” Reven rounded the bed and slowly nodded to the dress, directing me to pull it on.

Modesty was damned. I dropped my terry cloth robe on the floor, keeping my eyes on him as I grabbed the dress, pulled it up my body, and slowly zipped the side zipper.

A brow slowly raised as he studied me. “Tonight will be the most monumental moment in your life. The man you will see tonight is one of the greatest students of my work that I’ve ever had. He’s been visiting us for almost a year while he indulges in the process. He’s making the ultimate sacrifice tonight. You will be his final act of contrition and he will be yours. You will free him from the demons he’s carried on his back for many years and he will do the same for you. Are you excited to be such an important part of this man’s ascension?” Grabbing my hand, he smoothed my hair with the other. A misplaced placid smile was on his face. “It’s time I told you the story about The Revenant.”

“With all due respect,” I balked, hating the way he looked at me or touched me. Everything about the man sickened me. I yanked back from his hold, failing to care if I offended him. “I don’t want to prolong this.”

“It’s important you know this story, Keaton, and you will listen.” He pointed to the bed directing me to sit. “It’s a story I’ve told no one. You…are special.”

With trepidation, I sank down on the edge of the bed, keeping my shaking hands in my lap.

“I was born to a wealthy family with parents who loved me and worshipped me. Nothing I did was wrong in their eyes. Unfortunately, I had a younger brother who taxed their patience many times. What they didn’t know, is that my brother had a reason for being that way. My parents were devoutly religious. They sent us to the most venerable private catholic schools.
 

“My brother,” he grinned, and it was the only time I saw him show a genuine emotion, “had a presence that consumed a room. He drew people to him, the good and the bad. Our theology teacher took a very personal liking to him. I’m unsure of the details of what happened, I’m just aware that it changed him. Whatever did or didn’t happen, he never blamed Father Corrica for what occurred. Instead, he blamed the repressed society; the forced purity that is rife in organized religion.