The Seventh Voyage of Temperance (The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance Book 7) (21 page)

BOOK: The Seventh Voyage of Temperance (The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance Book 7)

“Everybody join in”

“it’s not just for chicks,”

“We’re sending these two”

“to Planet Eckes!”

“Ha, ha! Surely, mighty Gumibara is the greatest dancing super-monster! My glowing, translucent body can provide a happening light show to help inspire a common rhythm!”

Despite the restrictions of my gigantic shell, I too have some enticing dance maneuvers! Can you dig it?”

“Attagirl, Miss Plumtartt! You are really good at this modern, interpretive, IndiGoGo Girl dancing!”

“Quite so Mr. Temperance, for with the survival of the world in the balance, I deemed it appropriate to fully engage my entire body in the exercise, eh hem? I am strangely impelled to the participation of my posterior, even if it is mildly out of character, eh hem?”

“Yes, Ma’am, Miss Plumtartt, Ma’am; however, I find that my impulse is more foot intensive, rather than swinging my bee-hind to and fro.”

“A journey of destruction”

“an Inter-Planetary jaunt.”

“ZodGila and Kitkara”

“destroying all they want.”

“To send you on a zillion mile”


“You two have to join”

“the IndiGoGo Girls!”

“I think the IndiGoGo Girls want Kitkara and ZodGila to join in, Miss Plumtartt!”

“Apparently so, Mr. Temperance, for now the two incomprehensible behemoths are indeed frolicking along with us in our frenetic gyrations.”

“Around the Sun, our heroes are hurled.”

“Harbingers of  vengeance, a black flag unfurled.”

“Let Planet Eckes have a taste of their own hate.”

“Woe unto you, when Earth retaliates.”

“It’s working, Miss Plumtartt! A shimmering, pink bubble is forming around ZodGila and Kitkara! They are rising into the air!”

“A three-headed, hydra, gryphin that is really mean,”

“Kitkara is the only being fit to be his Queen.”

“Throughout the universe, his roar does ring,”

“Proclaiming that of all the monsters,”

“ZodGila is the King!”


“There they go, Miss Plumtartt, Ma’am. That bright, pink ball of light has lifted into the sky and is now rising up through the stratosphere on its long journey to Planet Eckes.”

“Indeed, Mr. Temperance, the Brobdignagian bubble of that fuchsia sphere has already exited our field of vision. I do not anticipate that the happy couple’s lengthy voyage will take very long. The cozy capsule is even now speeding through the cold vacuum of the interplanetary aether on its way to happy hunting grounds.”

“For a couple of little ol’ things, those IndiGoGo Girls sure did make a dramatic appearance when they rose up out of the water.”

“Quite so, Mr. Temperance, breaching the Ocean waves, the IndiGoGo Girls put me in my mind an image of ZodGila as King Arthur, and the IndiGoGo Girls as the ‘Lady of the Lake’, rising up to ferry the King of all super-monsters to his own Avalon on Planet Eckes.”

“That sure is a romantic concept, Miss Plumtartt. Say, that reminds me, where are Jubei and Rhianico? Last I saw, Jubei was hurt!”

“Not to worry, sir, though Mr. Trevorgawa’s injuries are largely superficial, the attention he is receiving is quite intensive, eh hem? Rather, I feel safe in saying so, for if you look to where my finger points, you may see Jubei peacefully reclining in the lap of the lovely Rhianico, yes?”

“Yes, Ma’am, Miss Plumtartt, Ma’am. Ain’t that sweet? That reminds me, what do you think will happen to Professor Autwell Lionel and Laurie Petier?”

“I can only hope that our justice system can rehabilitate these dastardly criminal masterminds so that they may yet prove to be valuable citizens in the world community. Such is my whole-hearted wish, hear, hear!”

“Here, here, Ma’am, I sure hope you’re right. I try to see the better side of folks, and not dwell on the bad side.”

“Eh hem, yes, my word, I know exactly what you mean. As a matter of fact, Mr. Temperance, at this moment, I am seeing your better side, I think. It is difficult for me to explain, as you are covered in dirt, muck, reptilian super-monster mucus, mud, soot and ash, yet there remains a singular attraction. Rather, for you sir, do have an indescribable appeal to me. Perhaps I too, am seeing your more pleasant attributes, and find myself turning a blind eye to any irregularities. Regretfully, I have yet to express my own happiness at seeing you survive your aero-adventures and fall to Earth afterwards. I should be very happy if you would remedy this deplorable status this very instant!”

“Dang, you sure are insistent, Miss Plumtartt! As a matter of fact, I’m pretty happy that I lived from that fall too. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to do this...”

“Oh, . . .


“Yay! Go Icky, go!”


“The sight of these two lovebirds in passionate kiss and embrace gladdens my heart, TiTaupKamaro.”

“Yeah, Gumibara, and the way they are caught in silhouette against the backdrop of the broken, and  demolished,  ToeKey-Oh skyline is a nice touch, too.”

“Hey, TiTaupKamaro, if I can find my surf/raft, will you give me a pull back to Monstrous Island?”

“No problemo, Gumibara.”

“Oh, TuRuDan, how are your injuries?”

“Don’t worry about me, your Highnesses, I am a tough old bird. I am healing. I can make the journey back to Monstrous Island. You two Ladies are temporarily without your magical transportational bubble. You are welcome to ride on my back as we return to Monstrous Island.”

“Oh, Domo Arigato, TuRuDan!”




“This Planet Eckes Bikini team is totally lacking in convincing credentials! Get them out of my Super-Controller Headquarters!”

“Yes, Super-Controller!”

“Bleh! These replicantical harem girls bore me! Send them to gladiator school! It matters naughtte to me whether they are fighters or fodder.”

“Yes, Super-Controller!”

“Do you call this a decadently wasteful, victory feast? I command that you double the animals to be flambéed in my honour!”

“Yes, Super-Controller!”

“Ha, ha! By now, my slave, Kitkara, has destroyed great swathes of puny, planet Earth. How the Earthlings must cower, tremble, and cry before my greatness. My greatness is personified by the
‘Ineluctible One’
, Kitkara.”

“Super-Controller! An urgent message is being sent to us from outer-space-drone monitor number three! That is the outer-space-drone closest to despicable planet Earth!”

“Report, you contemptible slave, and then see to your own painful execution for this inexcusable interruption.”

“Yes, Super-Controller! A flash of light was reported leaving the planet Earth!”

“Bah! Meaningless!”

“Yes, Super-Controller, but a bulletin from outer-space-drone number two, reports that a bright, pink, meteor is streaking towards Planet Eckes!”

“Preposterous! The Earthlings do not possess the technology to launch an inter-planetary attack vehicle! Even if they did, they have no weapon that we could ever fear.”

“Super-Controller, outer-space-drone number one is signaling that a large, shiny, pink orb is on a collision course with Planet Eckes!”

“Inconceivable! I have decided not to believe your bothersome messages. Never bring me bad news like this ever again!”

“Yes, Super-Controller!”

“There, that problem was easily solved.”
“Hello, what’s this? The icy clutch of an unimagined fear grips my heart, if I had one, in a peculiar, nameless sense of dread. What light in yonder sky doth appear? A magical pink light that looks as if it is going to make impact with
Ecksa firma
, uncomfortably close to this location!”


“Augh! That brilliant flash of pink light has blinded me! Where are my loyal retainers? Somebody help me! Ah, my vision is slowly clearing. I am all by my self on the roof-top garden of my palace/coliseum. Where is everybody? Why isn’t anyone attending to me?”

“I see movement in the distance. The omnipresent dark storm clouds have subsided in their lightning filled maelstrom and now recede to reveal what has crashed to Planet Eckes. It
Kitkara! How did you manage to return to Planet Eckes? You appear to have someone with you. I told you, ‘take no prisoners’! He
a big fellow. Why do you swarm over the jagged mountaintops with such abandon? You two are coming at me too fast! Slow down! You two super-monsters are about to trample me!


The End.



Hello, Dear Reader!

Thank you so much for having shared in our adventure!


Happy Reading!

Your pals,

Icky and Miss Plumtartt


More from the world of Ichabod and Persephone:


The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance


(Volume One of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)

A World of InTemperance

(Volume Two of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)

For the Love of Temperance

              (Volume Three of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)

A Study in Temperance

              (Volume Four of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)

In a Latitude of Temperance

              (Volume Five of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)

The Measure of Temperance

(Volume Six of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)

The Seventh Voyage of Temperance

(Volume Seven of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)

The Title of Temperance

(Volume Eight of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)




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