The Smartest Girl in the Room (26 page)

~~~

Emily took almost three minutes to get out
the front door of the building. She thought she might fall down the
stairs to the quad, but she made it. She didn’t know how she’d put
one foot in front of the other to get to the train, but she’d make
it. She had to get back to Zainab.

"Emily!" She turned to the side and saw
Richard leaving the Kay building. He was with Jordan and Vijay. She
meant to wave, but she couldn’t lift her hand.

Richard ran over to her, turning white. "Did
Drew find you? Are you alright?"

"He raped my friend," she said. Richard
caught her before her legs gave out from under her and moved her to
a bench.

"Drew raped your friend?"

"He sold drugs to someone who did." She
started sobbing. "It’s all my fault. I was trying to be smart. I
should have told Zainab what I saw. I didn’t know what it was, but
I would have if I’d thought about it. I should have gone to the
party, but I wanted to talk to you first before I did anything.
That was stupid. I should have just left. I should have listened to
you and Jessie and Zainab. It’s all my fault."

"Emily, please come back to my house. I’ll
take care of you."

"I have to go back to Zainab. I promised I
wouldn’t leave her alone."

"Then I’ll drive you back. Come on."

~~~

Mitch got down in time to see Emily collapse
on the bench and into the man’s arms. He watched her walk away with
him a minute later as if he were watching his life leave without
him.

Emily did not have the books for her classes.
She went to the library, taking notes off of the copies of the
textbooks she couldn’t afford. She read fast, but she was worried
that one day someone else was going to have a book when she needed
it. So she worked even faster.

She didn’t stay late. She made sure that she
was around to take Zainab home. Zainab never asked her to, but
Emily knew she didn’t want to be alone. She worked through the few
books that she could check out of the library. It was comforting to
work while she made sure Zainab slept through the night.

A few weeks into the Spring Quarter, Zainab
finally agreed to get counseling at the Health Center. Emily made
the appointments and walked Zainab to the center on those days.

On one such day, she was standing in front of
the building after Zainab had gone in. She felt a gentle tap on her
shoulder and turned around. "Professor Hazlett!"

"Emily! How have you been?"

Emily hadn’t meant to, but she started
crying. She came up for air long enough to mention not having money
for books and her best friend being drugged and attacked, then
cried again. Professor Hazlett put her arm around her and hugged
her as she cried.

After she’d wiped Emily's eyes, Professor
Hazlett took her to the Faculty Center, bought her lunch and made
her tell her the whole story from the beginning. She nodded when
Emily was done. Emily was ashamed to have someone she respected see
her like this, but she couldn’t pretend any longer.

"I’m so sorry," Professor Hazlett said. "I
had no idea you’d date him."

"Why?"

"Because he’s boring. There is nothing worse
than the student who thinks he knows everything, because then he
refuses to believe he has anything to learn. You ask questions.
Good ones."

"I loved your class," Emily said shyly. "You
should have seen me when I was ten. I was obsessed with Greek and
Roman and even Norse mythology. When you brought out all of the
mythological references of the Renaissance plays-" She knew how
foolish she must have sounded, but she didn't care. "I could have
taken your class all year."

Professor Hazlett pulled her chin back.
"So... you don’t have money for books? I wish I could say that’s
the first time I heard this but at least you found something out of
the library. And you’re graduating this quarter?"

"If I don’t fail out of my classes I
will."

"Mm hmm." She thought for a moment. "Can you
come to my office tomorrow at one?"

"I have a class then."

Professor Hazlett smiled. "I don’t think that
will be a problem."

Dutifully, Emily showed up at
twelve-forty-five the next day. Professor Hazlett opened the door
with a smile. "I think I have the answer to both of our
problems."

Emily had never had a fairy godmother before.
But there Professor Hazlett was, waving her wand and making her
problems disappear. She needed a research assistant, but as a
fluke, none of the graduate pool had chosen her class. So she had
leeway to hire an undergraduate, and the funding was such that she
could choose from a wide array of students, not just those eligible
for work-study.

Emily grinned. "So then it doesn’t matter
that I don’t qualify for work study or any need-based aid?"

"Congratulations, my dear. No FAFSA required
for this position."

"So this isn’t a university job?"

"It’s a quasi-university job. You’ll be doing
work for me, and I’m doing it for the university."

"Who’s funding the position?"

Professor Hazlett’s face changed. "Someone
who owes me something."

"Is it some kind of cigarette company?" Emily
held her breath as she waited for the answer.

The older woman laughed. "No, nothing like
that."

The pay for twenty hours of research per week
popped Emily’s eyes out.

It got better. Professor Hazlett’s research
on the myth of Persephone was behind, so she needed to begin work
immediately and her assistant needed a flexible schedule to
accommodate the overtime. As such, she was able to arrange that
Emily drop all her current classes and substitute them with
Independent Studies in those departments.

This might have been a dream come true, only
Emily hadn’t dared dream it.

She smiled for the first time in weeks.
"Thank you so much! But why are you doing this for me?"

"You're not the first brilliant young person
who needed a hand, but you're the first one I can give it to." She
patted her shoulder. "Hopefully you’ll be able to give someone a
hand later on yourself."

"You won’t regret this."

"I know. Now get out of here and do something
fun before you start work tomorrow."

Emily felt as if she were floating on air.
She was figuring out what to do to celebrate when Richard
called.

"What are you doing tonight?" Emily
asked.

"Uh, not sure. What are you doing
tonight?"

"Celebrating! I’ve got a job!" She told him
the whole story very fast.

"That’s great!" he said when she was done.
"Sure, let’s celebrate. But, sorry, did you say Joanna
Hazlett?"

"I think I just said Hazlett. Do you know
her?"

"I think I’ve taken a class with her, maybe
when I was a freshman, before time began. Yes, of course I’ll
celebrate with you. What should we do?"

"Well, I’m going to call Zainab and see if
she’ll be happy enough about this that she’ll come out with us.
Otherwise, I guess I’m cooking dinner at our place."

"You're cooking? Why didn’t you say so?"

Emily tracked Zainab down and waited for her
outside of class. "I’ve got a job!" she shrieked as soon as Zainab
walked out. The two of them hugged and jumped up and down. "And
we’re celebrating tonight."

"Of course, whatever you want to do." Zainab
was trying to be brave, but Emily wouldn’t force her out if she
wasn’t ready.

"How about we just meet Richard at Whole
Foods, and then drive back to our place?"

"I finally get to meet the Richard? Let’s do
it!"

Emily and Zainab were in the pasta aisle,
bickering about tomato sauce when Richard found them at six.
"Emily, do you have to argue about everything?"

"Only when I’m in a good mood." She gave
Richard a hug then introduced him to Zainab. Zainab’s eyes widened
a little bit when she saw him, and Emily thought she blushed. Emily
started to giggle, but then saw that Richard was holding her hand
just a bit longer than he needed to. Emily looked down at the
ground, not sure if she needed to say anything.

"So you’re Richard."

"Excuse me? I mean, yes, I’m Richard. And you
must be Zainab."

"That is what Emily said just now."

"She did? Right." He was still holding her
hand. Emily looked up at the cans on the top shelf. They didn’t
notice.

"Wow, you know what? I can’t handle this
pasta decision. You guys take care of it, just make sure it doesn’t
have any meat and that it’s not spaghetti. I’m gonna go get some
salad fixings. Yep, that’s what I’m gonna do."

Emily sped off. This was the best day of her
life.

Dinner was moved to Richard’s house. As far
as Emily was concerned, she might as well not have been there for
all the conversation she participated in. After everyone ate, she
cleared the table and called Jessie from the kitchen. "Sorry, dude.
I think Richard has found someone to replace me."

"No way! Who?"

"Zainab."

"Is that a good idea?"

Emily peaked at them through the crack in the
door. Richard was more animated than she’d ever seen him, and
Zainab was laughing. Finally. "Yeah, it’s a great idea."

It was ten-thirty before they both heard
Emily’s loud, exaggerated yawn. They talked in the car the whole
way home while Emily looked out the window, trying not to listen to
them.

"So we can have lunch tomorrow?" Richard
asked Zainab as they parked.

"Sure. Call me and tell me where."

Emily looked off to the side. "Um, good
night," she said as she got out of the car.

Zainab walked into the apartment fifteen
minutes later. She was grinning from ear to ear. Yep, best day of
Emily’s life.

The next few weeks got better and better. She
wasn’t able to pay Zainab too much in rent, but Emily more than
made up for it with cleaning and cooking. In the month that she’d
been there, Emily had scrubbed every inch of the apartment. Even
better, she was happy to use her skills in the kitchen. After
spending so long being relegated to beans and rice and Drew’s yucky
spaghetti, she was excited to finally have the money to buy
slightly more expensive ingredients and have a little fun in the
kitchen. So she was horrified to realize that dairy did not agree
with her anymore. In fact, it came close to making her violently
ill. Eggs weren’t much better. After getting the same result day
after day, she finally bit the bullet and bought a vegan cookbook,
which introduced her to the wonderful world of seitan and advanced
tofu wizardry. She felt not only better but creative and clever.
Zainab thought her vegan fare was delicious, as did Richard, who
found reasons to drop by, particularly around dinner time or even
breakfast on the weekend. That was fine with Emily, although she
wondered if she was ever going to have a conversation with either
of them again.

Try as she might, Emily couldn’t make
Zainab’s couch work. Finally, she broke down and made her way to
the Korean store in Brookline to buy a Korean bed. (Richard and
Zainab were happy to tag along when she explained that she was also
going to buy some groceries.) Ah- much better. But because her back
was still a little twitchy, she treated herself to two exercise
DVDs, one for yoga and one for Pilates. After two weeks, she felt
fit, toned, and finally in control of her life. Just as it should
be.

All of it was made possible by the job she
loved. Every morning she and Zainab would get off at Copley and
walk to school for fifteen minutes. Then they’d part company in the
quad, Zainab heading off to class or, occasionally, the Student
Center if Richard was there with his Solar Car team, and Emily to
the library. Most days she was able to use one of the grad student
rooms. There she could note and research the myth of Persephone and
all of its variations and origins to her heart’s content. When the
work for the day was done, she would then move onto one of her
independent assignments, which was more of the same as far as the
amount of research and writing. It was possibly more work than she
had ever done in her life, but she loved every minute of it. She’d
break to eat lunch or, a few times a week, meet with one of the
professors overseeing her independent studies, but mostly she had
to be dragged out of the library at seven by Richard and/or Zainab.
Though Richard always offered her a ride home, most of the time she
begged off for the exercise, leaving Zainab Richard’s sole
passenger. Damned if Emily didn’t usually beat Zainab home by
almost an hour.

~~~

Emily loved the idea of Zainab and Richard.
Every time she saw them holding hands or kissing, she turned away-
she didn’t want them to see her goofy smile. It was nice to see
something good.

But... there were times when she could not
forget that day. She’d told Richard everything. So Richard knew.
Did Zainab know he knew? Did she tell him?

What really concerned her... well, if Richard
knew, he’d be a nice guy, wouldn’t he? Because he was Jessie’s
cousin and Miranda’s friend- he was her friend- he wouldn’t do
anything he shouldn’t, right?

Right?

Of course it wasn’t Emily’s business. Zainab
was a big girl. Wasn’t it condescending that she should worry like
that? Shouldn’t Zainab be allowed to make her own decisions? Wasn’t
worrying acting like it was Zainab’s fault?

To Hell with it
, she thought as she
sent Richard the text.

Emily had a latte ready for him when he
arrived at the café. He smiled. "Cheers! And to what do I owe the
pleasure?"

"It’s been a while since we talked.
Alone."

Richard nodded as he sipped the latte. "What
did you want to talk about?"

"Nothing…in particular. I just wanted to make
sure... that everything was okay."