The Smartest Girl in the Room (20 page)

"I’m a person, not a robot. I want the same,
stupid things everyone else does. I want passion and chemistry
and..." she smiled, then shook her head. She didn’t think Jessie
would get it if she said "stars." "I like Richard a lot, but I
don’t have any of that with him. But now maybe it’s going to be
weird because you had to bring this up."

"I didn’t say anything to him. It can be our
little secret until you come to your senses."

"Yeah, whatever." They walked back into the
living room.

"What’s so great about Drew anyway? He looks
like an overgrown ten-year-old."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You just finished telling me that you need
passion and spice. You’re really getting it out of him?"

"I take it you don’t find him
attractive?"

"I'm shallow. I like them handsome."

"So you can only have chemistry with people
who look like gods?"

"No, but he looks like a baby, and that’s
kind of what you and Richard made him sound like."

"He’s a nice guy, Jess. Stop being so
prejudiced, because even if we do break up, I’m not dating
Richard."

"Oh my God, you haven’t slept with him
yet!"

"What?" Emily sputtered.

"You haven’t slept with him yet. Was that his
idea or yours? No wait, Miss Passion and Chemistry. That was his,
wasn’t it? He’s a virgin, isn’t he?"

Emily was mad and then embarrassed to be mad.
"Jessie," she said slowly. "Will you just stop?"

"I’m gonna take that as a yes."

"And then that’s going to be the second time
you’re wrong today. He isn’t."

"How do you know?"

"Because he told me." Those words sounded
stupid as soon as Emily said them, and then she was even madder at
Jessie.

"And why do you believe him?"

"Because if he’s lying he made himself look
like an idiot."

"Because...?"

"Because he told me he was hopped up on pills
that he stole from someone’s medicine cabinet and didn’t remember
anything except waking up naked with someone and seeing a condom
box nearby." She paused. "Does that sound like a story you’d make
up to make yourself sound better?"

"Only if you wanted to explain away your lack
of skill but not look like... a virgin. Because, you know, even if
you haven’t screwed him, skill can still be an issue. And it is,
right?"

"And he had a long-term girlfriend, whom he
lived with!" Emily said triumphantly.

"That’s just wonderful. But how can you be
sure he slept with her? And since you’re trying to avoid the skills
question, I’ll ask again. Are they there?"

"What? Jeez- why are you so concerned about
my sex life?"

"Because if you’re sleeping in someone’s bed
you should have one."

"And I do."

"Sorry, let me rephrase: you should have a
satisfying sex life. But you’re right; I’ll mind my own business.
I’ll just tell you though that Richard has done his share of adult
dating, so once you’re tired of playing house-"

"Just shut up!" Emily said before she threw a
cushion at her.

Despite the harassment about Drew and
Richard, Emily was sad when Jessie left. She comforted herself with
their plans to make plans for Jessie’s next break.

Zainab returned at last. She elaborated on
the many stories she had started in email about her brother, her
step-brother, some late-night partying with the little sister, and
the influx of relatives from all corners of the globe.

"And did you see your mom for Christmas?"

"No, but I did wish her a Merry Christmas
when she called."

"How long are you going to stay mad at your
mom?"

"Not sure, but I think I’m well within my
rights to hold my grudge until Valentine’s Day."

"She’s family!"

"I’m not the one who forgot that."

"Okay, my petty one. When is Drew coming
back?"

"Why? Are you worried that I can’t take care
of myself?"

"I know you can take care of anything. I just
thought you might like to see your boyfriend after he’s been gone
for almost two weeks."

Emily smiled. "He’s home on Friday."

"Friday?!?" Zainab was incredulous. "That’s
on the second! Who wants to spend New Year’s with their
parents?"

"I don’t think it was his choice. But he did
promise to make it up to me when he gets back."

"And how’s that exactly?"

"I think he mentioned chocolate... and some
other things."

~~~

Emily begged off going to the New Year’s SGC
party with Zainab. She went to sleep at her normal time, though she
did spend a few minutes lying awake and wishing for a good New
Year, whatever that might mean.
Friday
, she thought,
was
when her New Year would really begin.

She took the train to the airport and waited
an hour before Drew’s flight got in. She was nervous when they
called his flight. What if he had changed his mind about her? What
if he hadn’t missed her? What if he didn’t want to be with her?
There had been emails and phone calls and texts, but all of that
was out the window until you saw someone up close.

Drew got off the plane and ran up to her. He
hugged her tight and kissed her. "Did you miss me as much as I
missed you?"

She giggled and was about to answer when she
realized he had cut his hair. She stood back and looked at him. If
possible, he was even thinner than he had been before, and the
military style buzz cut only accentuated that. His blue eyes, which
had seemed playful before, were intensified by the dark circles
under them.

"Is everything alright?"

"No," he said. "You haven’t told me that you
missed me."

"Of course I did, you idiot." She pulled him
into a longer, deeper kiss.

"Only you could make that sound good."

Drew couldn’t keep his hands off of her once
they were home. They spent the next four hours in bed. For the
first two hours, it was exciting and tender, but then, after an
hour, Emily kept waiting for him to make the move. Maybe she should
just be in the moment, but she couldn’t deny that she had spent a
while thinking about it while he was gone.

Maybe he didn’t think she wanted to? She
moved his hand to certain places, she hinted with her own actions…
but nothing. Finally, Drew announced that he needed to go to sleep
for an early day tomorrow, kissed her on the forehead and rolled
over to sleep.

Emily grabbed her phone once Drew started
snoring. There was a text from Jessie.

How was ur reunion?

I hate you.

Richard’s a phone call away. Hey ur right
about one thing- BSG doesn’t suck.

OMG- evening not a total failure.

Classes began the next week. Emily marched
into her first class like a general coming to the scene of a battle
her army had just won. She was prepared and engaged. Everything was
going to be as she'd worked so hard to make it.

Emily walked to the student center at the end
of the first day, smiling triumphantly. If she could get some of
her work done early, then maybe she’d be able to get some kind of
job. She wasn’t sure what she’d be able to do with her irregular
schedule, but there must be something.

Emily had suggested the student center to
meet up with Zainab because she was low on cash (although she knew
Zainab would keep her in tea as long as she needed to). She
marveled at how quickly Zainab became the hub of activity, if not
the complete center of attention. Zainab introduced her to some old
and new faces, and Emily was surprised to see a few from SGC. Most
surprising was Joe Welles, shaking hands like he was the mayor of
Boston. He came up and gave Emily a kiss on the cheek, and Emily
did her best not to tremble before he walked away. What angle was
he working?

Joe left after half an hour. A few others
dispersed then Emily could speak to Zainab in earnest. "What was
that about?"

"First day of the quarter excitement?"

"Right, because Joe and his posse always come
out to welcome the returning students. Of the winter quarter."

"There might be an election coming up."

"And what are you doing? Pimping Joe to all
your friends?"

"I prefer to think of it as introducing him
to people that might help."

"And whose idea was that?"

"Joe’s."

"I’m glad he found a way for you to be useful
to him. How’s his girlfriend?"

"They’re a little bit rocky right now,
actually. You know, the stress of classes and SGC."

"He’s so lucky he has you there to keep him
company, provide comfort, whatever."

"I’m not providing that kind of comfort."

"But maybe after he wins in the spring,
right? I had no idea you were so patient."

"Sorry Em, some of us have to work for what
we want."

"I admire that. I just don’t think you should
work so hard for him. Especially when there are other things you
could be working for."

"Like what?"

"Like school, Zainab! Remember, the reason
you sit in this building and met all of these fascinating people?
Is that worth gambling over some guy you may or may not get after
an election he might win?"

"I really like Joe."

"Does he really like you?"

"He likes me, okay? Maybe I like him more
right now, but I think that’s changing."

"Zainab, you’re not stupid!" Emily burst out.
"Joe is a user. Don’t take it personally. He’s doing what he’s
doing to get what he wants. You know that. You know, maybe we’re
not going to be friends after I say this, but he’s not going to
dump his girlfriend for you. Not because she’s better than you or
because you’re not good enough, but because he’s greedy. Maybe he’s
charming and useful on occasion, but don’t get sucked in." She was
filled with dread, but she couldn’t have kept that to herself.

Zainab waited a moment. "Maybe everything you
said is true," she finally said. "Part of me thinks it is. But when
he looks at me sometimes, and when he laughs at my jokes, it makes
my day. He makes me happy. And maybe I don’t get every little bit
of him that I’d like, but it’s better than nothing. And would you
stop looking at me like I’m a pathetic idiot?"

Emily blinked. "That’s not what I’m
thinking." She threw up her hands. "Maybe you’re right and I’m
wrong. Maybe that’s how you’re supposed to love someone, in
whatever amount they come to you. I wish I could. It’s got to be
all or nothing with me. I couldn’t take small pieces of something I
wanted and be grateful for it."

"You don’t have to."

Before Emily could say anything, the phone
rang. For the fourth time today, it was Drew. Zainab saw the name.
"Case in point."

"I’ve got to take this, but are we okay?"

"Yeah, but since you’ve made your feelings so
well-known and I’m not stupid, do you think you can lay off?"

"Fair enough, but if it looks like you’re
getting hurt, Joe had better watch out."

"Deal," Zainab said. "Now let’s hear what Mr.
Strand has to say."

Emily put the phone to her ear. "Hey,
sweetie, done with work yet?"

"Um, yeah, I got off about an hour ago." It
was five now. How come he got off so early?

"Where are you now?"

"At home."

"Great, do you want to come over to the
Student Center before I have to go to the library?"

Silence for a moment. "I thought we’d have
dinner together before you went to the library." Silence again. "I
guess Zainab is welcome to come if she wants."

Emily looked at Zainab, who could hear
everything. Zainab shook her head. "I guess it will be just you and
me, but I’m going to have to meet Zainab at seven, so we’ve got to
eat quickly."

Drew sighed. "Okay. I can boil up some
spaghetti before you come over, but please don’t be too long." He
hung up.

Zainab strummed her fingers on the armrest.
"Am I meeting you at seven to study because you’re still concerned
about my grades, or do you need an excuse to get to the
library?"

Emily sighed. "A little of both, but maybe
more of the second." Now it was Zainab’s turn to give her looks and
Emily didn’t put up a fight. "It’s nothing. Really. It’s just that
last night I wanted to go to the library so I could review some of
my notes. Drew didn’t think that was a good idea."

"You did do all of the reading already."

"True," Emily said slowly. "And that was
Drew’s argument. And it was sweet that he wanted me to stay with
him, but... I’m going to have to do some work eventually."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it’s fine. Last night was the only
time he was... weird. I’m assuming that once he gets more into his
co-op and he’s a little over me, he won’t be so clingy."

"Em, does anyone ever get over you?"

"Maybe not, but you’re about to get over my
knee if you keep sassing me."

"Careful, I might not make it to the library
if I’m too sore to walk."

"Zainab, please-"

Zainab laughed. "I’ll be there, don’t worry.
But what are you going to do if I have plans?"

"Give Joe a call and tell him to work out his
social life on his own time."

"Why do I keep you around again?"

Emily was worried by the end of the week.
Drew seemed to expect that she should have all of her work done by
the time he came home and pretty much jump into bed with him as
soon as he opened the door. He was petulant when she had to leave
for the library and didn’t understand why she couldn’t get her
studying done while he was at work, especially since she had worked
so far ahead. She found herself repeating more than once that she
was hoping to be able to clear her schedule so that she could make
time for a job of some sort. He would tell her that she didn’t need
to make any money. He had everything taken care of, he assured her.
Emily thought she did deserve to be taken care of, but only by two
certain people. Otherwise, she wanted to take care of herself.