The Son-In-Law (7 page)

‘It’s to acknowledge Zoe,’ she said. ‘They need to make new relationships rather than fixating on loss; but let her be a part of family chat around the table, if you can. Share your memories. Don’t let her become a taboo subject.’ Our kitchen was the hub of our world, so that’s where we put most of the pictures.

Frederick put on the glasses he wore on a chain around his neck and picked up a framed photograph. Zoe, thirty-three years old, cross-legged on the bonnet of her beloved old MG. She was wearing jeans and a tiny scrap of a T-shirt, head poised on a dancer’s neck. You wouldn’t believe she’d given birth to three children. She was so slim. Thin, actually. I used to fuss about it. Her eyes dominated the picture—those luminous eyes that turned heads in the street. You could almost hear her laughter.

Scarlet was pressing her own soft cheek to her mother’s, while Theo had squashed himself half onto Zoe’s lap. He’d just had an appalling haircut, a black pudding basin, and was scowling at baby Ben, who’d taken prime position in his mother’s arms. Midsummer light glanced off their faces, dappled through the umbrella of the lime tree in their garden. The photograph was taken by Freddie, just days before she died. That was the last time we saw Zoe. She seemed so happy.

Too happy. We knew that.

Frederick stood looking down at the picture of his daughter. I saw him touch his forefinger to his mouth, and to her smiling face. He stood for a moment, head bowed. Then he quietly returned the photograph to its place.

•

By four o’clock my grandsons were home and lolling in various states of scruffiness on beanbags in the sitting room, watching television. I checked that the front door was locked. With Scott prowling around, it was best to be on the safe side. Scarlet had a violin lesson after school on Mondays. She’d be walking home with a very sensible sixth former, so I had no concerns there. I’d begun making a fish pie when I heard her key in the lock.

Freddie heard it too. He put down his
Guardian
with an expectant smile. ‘Aha. Miss Scarlet.’

‘’Lo?’ That was Scarlet’s voice.

‘Greetings, Scarletta!’ called Freddie.

The front door shut with a bang. Scarlet had always done that, ever since her mother died. Always, always. She never shut the door until she was sure there was somebody in the house. Perhaps she didn’t trust people to be alive. I heard the violin being dumped by the harpsichord in the bay window and waited for my granddaughter to come and share her day with us, warming her shapely hands on the Aga and complaining that the violin teacher was a witch. I could tell she really wanted to say
bitch.

This time, she didn’t appear in the kitchen. I heard light footsteps running up the stairs. Freddie levered himself up and stepped out into the hall. ‘Hey! Aren’t you coming to say hello?’

Her voice sounded faint, as though she had a sore throat. ‘In a minute. Just got to do some homework.’

‘There’s chocolate biscuits.’

‘In a
minute
, Gramps!’ Her door slammed shut, and I flinched. Her bedroom used to be Zoe’s. I knew exactly how that door sounded when it was slammed.

Freddie reappeared, shrugging. ‘Busy, busy,’ he muttered unhappily. ‘Can I help with anything?’

‘You could stir the white sauce. Tedious job.’

He took the wooden spoon out of my hand, stirring distractedly and much too fast.

I touched his arm. ‘Stop, Freddie. Stop fretting.’

‘She slammed her door.’

‘I know.’

He stirred faster still. Sauce slopped out, sizzling and smoking on the hot plate.

‘She isn’t Zoe,’ I said desperately.

‘I dread it.’ He turned around and leaned against the Aga rail.

‘It was at this age, wasn’t it, that it first showed itself?’

Signs. Signs ignored, written off as adolescent hormones. Screams. Mugs smashed, doors slammed. Soft young arms pocked with crescent nail-scissor cuts. An adored face pinched with fury as she swept her arm along the sitting-room mantelpiece, hurling china and vases and an antique clock to the floor.

‘No,’ I said firmly, as I began to lay the table. ‘Scarlet’s her own woman. She has many of her mother’s qualities—talent, for example; brains, looks, a sense of humour and a strong character—but none to be feared.’

Freddie wandered away, shaking his head. He’d completely forgotten about the white sauce. I caught it just as it was rising up the saucepan. He was back in the doorway, calling her.

‘Scarlet! Please come down. Sca-ar-letta!’

‘Freddie,’ I hissed. ‘Should we tell her about this?’ I jerked my head at the court papers, jammed haphazardly into their envelope.

‘No.’ He hid them away in a drawer. ‘Scare her half to death.’

‘I agree, but if we don’t warn them, it might come as a ghastly shock.’

He stood with his hands straight down by his sides, swaying a little like a tired soldier. Freddie seemed to need more time to gather his thoughts as he’d grown older, but his words were worth waiting for. They were never empty.

‘I think it would be best to wait until after we’ve discussed it with Jane,’ he decided. ‘Taken some legal advice. There’s no point in upsetting the children unnecessarily. Scott may give up.

He may move away.’

‘He may get run over by a bus,’ I suggested hopefully.

‘Or perhaps we could pay someone to send him for a swim in the Ouse.’

‘Hannah!’ Tut-tutting gently, Freddie dropped his arm around my shoulder. ‘We have to play this absolutely straight.’

‘Play what absolutely straight?’ asked Scarlet. She was standing in the doorway, green eyes burning in a bloodless face, glaring at us.

•

Scarlet

The pair of them jumped like I’d caught them snogging. Hannah ducked out from under Gramps’ arm. She was looking pretty shifty.

‘How was violin?’ she asked, pretending to be jolly.

‘Cancelled.’

‘Did you get your homework done?’

‘I’ve still got more to do.’

‘How about a cuddle for your old ancestor?’ pleaded Gramps. ‘I haven’t seen you all this livelong day.’

He enveloped me in a bear hug, but I wasn’t going to be distracted so easily. ‘Play what absolutely straight? I’ll keep asking until you spill the beans.’

They looked at one another.

‘I’ll keep asking,’ I warned them.

‘Biscuit?’ suggested Hannah. There was a burst of activity as they fussed around, force-feeding me lemon squash and Hobnobs. When they shut the kitchen door and both stood awkwardly by the table, I knew for sure that something was going on.

Hannah spoke first. ‘Your father is out of prison.’

I know
, I thought.
I’ve just seen him.
I didn’t tell them, though. I knew they’d be absolutely terrified. Anyway, my dad was never mentioned in our family. I’d sooner say a really bad swear word in front of my grandparents—even the ‘f’ word, even the ‘c’ word—than my dad’s name.

‘He wants to see you,’ said Hannah. She pulled something out of a drawer. ‘He’s made this application to the court.’

I stared. ‘No! No
way
.’

‘We thought so too. And that’s exactly what we’re going to tell Jane Whistler.’

Gramps was standing behind my chair. I could feel his fingers spiking up my hair. ‘But it’s your choice, Scarletta. If you choose to see him, we’ll respect your wish.’

Hannah looked as though he’d stuck a fork into her backside. I mean, my father is just like the devil in our house. Gramps might as well have said, ‘Go on, smoke a cigarette,’ or, ‘Hey, why don’t you nip out and shoot up heroin and maybe sleep with some random guy in the street?’

I didn’t stop to think. I didn’t
want
to think. I ran around the table and grabbed that envelope out of Hannah’s hand. I ripped it in half, then quarters—which wasn’t easy, because there were a few sheets in there. ‘Here’s what I think of his application,’ I yelled, tossing the bits all over the floor. Then I stamped on them. ‘And
here’s
what I think of him!’

‘Shh,’ said Gramps, looking upset. ‘Calm down. You’ll make yourself ill, flying into such a rage.’

That just made me even wilder. I wanted to shake him, but even thinking such a horrible thought made me feel guilty. One of the most annoying things about being brought up by grandparents is their old-fashioned ideas. Sometimes it feels like living in the Dark Ages. For instance, the idea that you can make yourself ill just by getting angry. The idea that you can catch a chill from having wet hair. And the idea that eating the disgusting cold jelly off a roast chicken is ‘excellent for invalids’. I love Gramps and Hannah but they drive me up the wall sometimes.

Hannah began picking up the pieces from the floor. Her mouth was as straight as a ruler. ‘Don’t you worry,’ she said. ‘We’ll see him off. Don’t tell the boys, will you, Scarlet? There’s absolutely no need to be frightening them. This may come to nothing.’

All through dinner the three of us tried to behave as though everything was normal. Theo had some good news about becoming class prefect at school. Ben was being a little twerp, winding Theo up by calling him Ferret Face.

‘C’mon, Ben—you too, Theo,’ said Gramps, after we’d eaten. ‘The girls have homework to do. Let’s us lads do the washing-up, then get yourselves ready for bed and I’ll tell you a story. What shall it be about?’

The bribe worked. He soon had Theo and Ben lined up with tea towels, and I laid out my homework on the kitchen table while Hannah disappeared off to her computer. Gramps’ stories are legendary in our family. You can give him any subject, anything at all.

‘A great big, um . . . a big hairy caveman,’ suggested Ben.

‘A spoon,’ said Theo, who was drying one.

‘A wee!’ screeched Ben, sniggering with his hand over his mouth. He thinks anything to do with toilets is hilarious.

‘Hmm . . .’ Gramps thought for a while, swishing the water around with his yellow rubber gloves. ‘Yes, well, I think this evening we’ll hear the story of three Neanderthal children, and how they invented the very first spoon. Of course, wee is an important part of the plot.’

‘What are they called?’ asked Theo.

‘Wo, Wa and Wee. You see? Two boys and a girl with flaming red hair.’

‘Strawberry blonde, actually,’ I piped up.

‘Flaming strawberry blonde. Sorry. These three children are your ancestors, and you each have a little bit of them in you. Did you know that we all have Neanderthal DNA in us? Especially Ben. I suspect he has more than most.’

Theo started doing his sabre-toothed tiger impersonation with two kitchen knives. I tried to get on with my science homework, but drawing a diagram of an amoeba really didn’t interest me that evening. I suppose we share DNA with an amoeba. I started doodling on the cover of my book. I drew lots of vertical lines, darker and darker and then extremely dark, until my biro went right through the paper. Then I sketched a person behind them. He had scribbly hair, and round glasses, and mad staring eyes.

•

I couldn’t get to sleep that night. I hate those lonely hours.

My bedroom used to be Mum’s when she was a child. Her costume dolls still sit along the windowsill and some of her books are on the shelves. You’d think this would make her feel closer, but it doesn’t. The singing man seems much closer than she does. He visits all the time. I’ll hear his song, and know that death is coming. I’ll gather all my breath and try to force out a scream, but all I can ever manage is a tweeting sound, like a trapped bird. Then I wake up crying.

I used to beg Mum to give me a sign that she was there. Anything at all—even a whiff of her special scent. She never answered. Eventually I faced facts: she was well and truly gone. I didn’t tell Ben or Theo, though. It would have broken their hearts. They believe she’s watching over them, like Mufasa in
The
Lion King
.

On this particular night I’d been lying awake for hours when I heard a floorboard creak. I was pleased to think someone else was up, so I got out of bed and crept to my door. Theo was just leaving the bathroom, carrying a big towel. He saw me and stopped on the landing, trying to hide the towel behind his back.

‘Wet bed?’ I whispered.

He was awfully embarrassed, bent over and shivering. Poor thing, he’d taken off his pyjamas and was wearing nothing but underpants. He looked little and knock-kneed and spindly.

‘It’s all right,’ I said. ‘Don’t worry. Nobody will be cross.’

‘I don’t know why it’s starting up again.’ His mouth was turned down, his nose running.

I felt very adult. It was a whole lot better than feeling young and lonely. ‘Were you going to try and sleep on that towel? C’mon, let’s get you some clean stuff. I’ll fetch it—you go and pop on some nice dry pyjamas. Put on a sweatshirt as well. We don’t want you getting cold, might set off your asthma.’

I tiptoed to the linen cupboard and pulled out clean sheets and things. They felt warm after being near the hot-water tank.

Then I took off Theo’s soaking sheet and mattress saver and duvet cover and put new ones on. Theo stood watching with chattering teeth and his arms tightly wrapped around his chest. Finally he hopped into bed, and I covered him up. He reached down to the floor and picked up Bigwig, his rabbit.

‘Thanks,’ he said, as Bigwig disappeared under the duvet with just the tips of his ears sticking out.

I bent and kissed him on the forehead. Gramps often did that. ‘You’re welcome.’

‘You know Dad?’ he said.

It was a shock, coming out of the blue. ‘No, I don’t,’ I said. ‘Not anymore.’

‘Remember how he used to play football with us?’

‘No.’

‘Remember how he always used to carry us on his shoulders? I remember looking down at people’s hair. You must remember that.’

‘So?’

Theo squirmed deeper under the duvet. ‘Nothing.’

I sat on the end of his bed, trying to work out what was in my brother’s head. He’s a mystery sometimes.

‘You know Neanderthal man?’ he asked suddenly.

‘Not personally.’

‘We all have a little bit of Neanderthal man in us. They lived thousands and thousands of years ago, didn’t they?’

‘That’s right.’

‘Gramps said we all have some of their, um . . .’