The Stranger (32 page)

“I’m right here.” My sister stepped into the cab from the back of the truck.

I’d been prepared to face Tammy in the midst of a manic state, eyes glimmering with madness, words firing out of her mouth in a furious rat-a-tat, hands gesticulating wildly. Alternatively, I had prepared to find Tammy in a profound state of depression, sad, disheveled, and inconsolable.

But the woman who faced me didn’t show any obvious signs of bipolar disorder. She stood there, smiling at me, calm but alert, wearing a pair of killer jeans and a royal blue turtleneck that complimented her coloring and looked amazing on her.

“Please, sis.” She pouted prettily. “Don’t be mad at me.”

It was hard not to succumb to Tammy’s natural charm. With her creamy complexion and her sparkling hazel eyes, her beauty was irresistible to most people. But I made a serious effort to dislike her. Yes, sir, I did. I clung to my anger with all I had.

Tammy had put me through so much. She’d made me leave Miami and travel to Alaska. She was the reason I’d had to endure cold, discomfort, stress, and all sorts of new and unfathomable experiences, some of which I’d rather soon forget. She’d precipitated the events that had landed me in Seth’s bed and then, because of her, I’d had to betray the only man I’d ever loved. I tried to be mad at Tammy. I really did. Then she smiled.

After all this time looking for my sister, after all the hassle, worry and anxiety, the fury just melted off me like butter on toast. I threw myself into Tammy’s embrace.

“I’m sorry I worried you.” She sniffled. “I didn’t mean to make a mess of things.”

“It’s okay.” I hugged her tightly, breathing in her familiar baby powder scent, spiced with a sharp note of...diesel fuel? I loosened my grip and, keeping my hands on her shoulders, pulled back a little to examine her closely. “Are you okay?”

“I’m doing great.” She wiped a tear from my cheek. “I have so much to tell you!”

“Why don’t we all have a seat?” Nikolai said. “Can I offer you some coffee?”

I looked to Tammy.

She nodded. “He makes the best café-con-leche.”

“Second best,” I muttered, locking stares with Nikolai.

What did I see in his black eyes?

Concern for my sister, to whom he seemed connected by an invisible cable, but also a desire to please her that appeased me a little. I spotted a bit of Anya in him as well, or was that a glimpse of his yega?

“Sorry,” I mumbled. “I didn’t mean to be totally rude.”

He didn’t miss a beat. “For Tammy, I can take all the rude you’ve got.”

I gave him his first point on my mental scoreboard. “Coffee would be great.”

Tammy and I sat on the convertible sofa in the back of the truck. Nikolai served a round of coffee and took a seat on a stool across from us. The truck’s sleeping compartment turned out to be a nice but compact space, including a small desk, a kitchenette, and a tiny bathroom in addition to the seating area that doubled as a bedroom.

Tammy lifted her hands in the air and gestured around her. “You like?”

“Very nice,” I said.

“It’s fifty percent mine.”

I jerked, spilling the coffee all over my lap. “What?”

“Don’t get all bent out of shape.” Tammy grabbed some paper towels and wiped up the mess. “Before you go berserk, let me explain.”

“It’s Louise who’s going to go nuts when she hears about this.”

“You might not scream, holler or break the china,” Tammy said. “But you get really angry when things don’t go as planned. Whether it’s the silent treatment or the torture interrogation, you’re truly terrifying. And, oh, the glare. It wilts flowers. I told Nikolai. It’s the stuff of nightmares.”

Seth had sort of implied the same thing. Was I really that bad? Me, the voice of reason in the Silva family, the point of balance?

“This is not about me,” I said. “It’s about you.”

“Allow me to explain,” she said. “I know I’m your little sister. You take care of me and I appreciate it, especially when I’m sick...” She choked. “I love you so much!”

I squeezed her hand. “You left so suddenly and we were so worried.”

“I had to go, Summer,” she said, “I was suffocating in my own breath. I know you and Mom love me. I know I suffer from a chronic disease. It’s rough some days and it’s not going to go away, but it doesn’t mean I can’t grow up and be an adult and run my own life.”

“Of course not.”

“So I grew up,” she said with a certainty that left me spinning. “I took charge of my own life. It wasn’t the chemical imbalance driving my decisions. It was me.” She eyed Nikolai, who sat quietly on his stool. “I need you to know. I’ve been talking to Nikolai for a long time. I didn’t take off after a random guy I met on the internet like you told all those people.”

I bit my lips and winced. “You know about that?”

“Who doesn’t?” Tammy grabbed a wrinkled paper from the desk and showed it to me. It was a printed copy of one of the flyers I’d emailed to everybody and their mothers. “The whole state of Alaska knows I’m a dumb blonde.”

“Sorry,” I mumbled, a little embarrassed. “But you ran away with a total stranger...”

“I met Nikolai in an exclusive chatroom for truck aficionados.” Tammy smiled at Nikolai and he smiled back. “Three years I’ve known this guy.”

“Three years?” I swallowed the lump in my throat. Three years was a good, solid amount of time to get to know someone and a lot better than three weeks.

“He came down to see me in Miami. Last year. Remember when I went on that four-day cruise to the Bahamas with my girlfriends? Well, I didn’t go with the girls. I went with Nikolai. We had a great time together.”

“Knowing someone from afar is very different from day-to-day living.”

“That’s why I came,” Tammy said. “Nikolai wanted me to meet his family. He wanted to make sure I could be happy in Alaska. We wanted to see what it would be like to live and work together.”

I frowned. “Work together?”

Tammy nodded excitedly. “Yes, listen to this. I’ve already completed a six-month online program on commercial driving management. I got an A. Me. An A!”

It was hard to believe. Tammy had barely managed to graduate from high school, flunked out of college and was never able to stick with her community college classes.

“Next week,” she said, “I start a sixteen-day class to get my commercial freightliner driver’s license. After that, I’m doing my internship. In this truck. With Nikolai, who’s had a commercial driver’s license for ten years. And after that, we already have a contract for long-distance cargo hauling, right here in Alaska.”

I stared at Tammy, willing my mouth to stay closed. Tammy had committed to something. Tammy had completed a course. Tammy, my little sister, irresponsible, willful, impulsive Tammy who’d never earned a penny in her life, had lined up an employment contract and a way to make a living.

Wake up
,
Summer.
You’re dreaming again
.

Reality check. What if this was a different stage of her disease? What if this was a new kind of manic, a subversive, harder-to-detect symptom of her bipolarity, a tricky turn that would blow up in our faces?

“I know what you’re thinking,” Tammy said. “I’m not in a manic stage. I’m as balanced and stable as I’ve ever been. I feel great and I’m fully medicated. Ask Nikolai.”

I glanced at Nikolai. “So he knows everything?”

“Of course he knows,” Tammy said. “He’s known for a while. He has to if he’s going to be with me. He has a brother who’s bipolar.”

“Is that true?” I asked.

“My brother gets along fine when he’s on his meds and so does your sister,” Nikolai said. “Tammy’s gotten really good at taking her meds. When she forgets, I remind her.”

Reminding Tammy to take her meds had been my job. I was the one who counted her pills, organized them every Sunday and made sure she took them properly. I took care of Tammy. Correction. I used to take care of Tammy.

I took in Nikolai’s face, the dark curls framing a strong nose. How did I really feel about my replacement? How did I feel about giving up my caregiver’s role?

Empty. Scared. A little sad but also relieved. It had been such a large part of my life for so long.

“I’m thinking clearly,” Tammy assured me. “Unlike you and Mom, Nikolai doesn’t think that someone with bipolar disease is a cripple.”

I cringed. Was she right? Was that how I’d thought of Tammy all these years? Out of love and fear, had I been too overprotective of my sister?

“Tammy knows what she’s doing,” Nikolai offered in his quiet way. “And she’s a hell of a good driver. She’s good even on sheer ice.”

Unlike her idiot of a sister.

“Tammy’s smart,” Nikolai said. “She knows her mechanics. She’s passionate about trucks, but you know that. I’m not at the top of the food chain yet, but I’ve got a stake in my family’s homestead and a place of my own. I work hard, I make a good living and Tammy will never go without if she sticks with me. I love her. It’s why I asked her to marry me.”

“And I did,” Tammy said. “This morning.”

The blood drained out of my veins. My fingers and toes went numb. I’d known they had a marriage license when I came out to Coldfoot, but I’d hoped to stop them before they got married. But I was too late. Nikolai had asked Tammy to marry her and she had accepted. They were married now. Married!

“Marriage is such a...” Terrible state of slavery? Dreadful type of dependency? Trap? The words got stuck in my throat.

“I know you had a bad experience,” Tammy said. “But I want to be married. I want children. Don’t you want kids someday? Mom and Dad had a great life together. Why couldn’t we have it too?”

Why indeed?

Because I was a biased, bitter, self-righteous, burned-out bitch who measured other people’s lives by my own failures.

I took a deep breath. “Why didn’t you tell me that this is what you wanted?”

“Would you have believed me?” she asked. “Let’s not even talk about Mom. She would’ve forbidden me to come. Tell me the truth, Summer: Would you have allowed your sick little sister to go chasing after her dreams?”

She was right. I would have said no a thousand times. I’d come here to save my sister from Nikolai and return her safely home. Instead, I’d discovered my own prejudices. In trying to help Tammy, I’d done more harm than good. I’d failed to see that her happiness depended on her abilities rather than mine. I’d suffocated her with my care. I’d tried to design her life when she wanted to draw up her own plans. She had a right to chase after her own dreams. It was all very hard to take, but it was the honest truth.

Something changed at that moment. In my mind, I opened my fist and let the wind flow through my fingers. The knot that had tortured my stomach for the last three weeks dissipated. My sister had turned into a woman, capable of making her own decisions. She didn’t need me anymore. And it was okay.

“I knew you were looking for me,” Tammy said. “But I needed the time away to make sure this was the right thing for me. I thought I was done for when Seth Erickson found us.”

So Seth had found Tammy, like Alex said, and then decided not to tell me. “When did he find you?”

“He tracked us down smack in the middle of the Star Lake mess,” Tammy said. “His chief of cyber security located us. He contacted Nikolai and patched Seth through. Seth drilled Nikolai. Boy, that guy’s relentless. We had several conversations.”

The sting burned hotter than ever.

“Please, don’t be mad at him,” Tammy said. “I begged him not to tell you where I was. He told me how worried you were.”

“I was scared,” I said. “You left your blankie behind.”

“I don’t need it anymore,” she said with confidence that blew me away. “That’s why I left it. Seth tried everything to persuade me to contact you. He even flew out to Fairbanks one night to meet with us.”

Fairbanks, yes, I remembered that trip.

“He said he needed to lay eyes on me to make sure I was healthy and happy. I’m pretty sure he would’ve forcibly flown me back to you if I hadn’t been a hundred percent. He did good by me, Summer. Promise me you won’t hold him responsible for my actions.”

“He lied to me.” It was impossible to overlook the fact or ignore the violent way in which my stomach lurched every time I thought about it. “How can I not be mad at him?”

“I made him swear not to tell you,” Tammy said. “I wanted a few more days so I could come to you, commercial driver’s license in hand and make you proud. Seth was so nice to us. He even arranged for that contract to drive for E&E.”

Sounded like Seth all right, always arranging everything for everybody, always agenting people’s successes.

“He went out of his way to help us,” Tammy said. “He must really like you.”

After today, “liked” was probably the better word.

“Tell me the truth,” Tammy said. “Do you like him?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“A good one,” Tammy said.

“I’m mad at him right now,” I said. “It’s sort of complicated.”

“Come on, Summer, tell me.”

“Maybe I like him a little bit.” I held my thumb and index finger close together. “But only when he’s not lying to me.”

“You love him!” Tammy squealed, jumping up and down on her seat. “Nikolai, my sister is finally in love!”

My face had to be glowing red.

The truck door rattled, startling us. Alex, I was sure. Nikolai went up front, lowered the window, and talked to him briefly.

“That jerk wants me to tell you that your thirty minutes are up,” Nikolai said. “What’s he talking about and why are you hanging out with the one Erickson I can’t stomach?”

“It’s a long story,” I said. “I’ll have to tell it to you some other time.”

“He says there’s weather coming in,” Nikolai said. “If you’re going to fly, you have to leave now. But you’re welcome to stay. You can ride with us if you want to.”

Ride with them. It was tempting. Ride the road without worries, live in the present without concerns, chase a dream, any dream, perhaps even my best dream, the one I’d found in Alaska.

But inasmuch as I’d have loved the opportunity to escape my choices at the moment, I couldn’t afford the luxury of a quick getaway. I had to go back. I had work to do. I had to find out what Alex had over Seth.