The Submission Sessions (3 page)

During
the following week, as her appointment crawled ever closer, Seb changed his
mind half a dozen times about seeing her again. Eventually, he managed to
convince himself that he could remain professional and put her needs before his
own, but the second she walked in to the building, he knew he'd been fooling
himself.

Kerri
perched on the sofa opposite him, her gaze as wary as her body language. Her
choice of clothing was much less restrictive than the last time she'd visited
him, and she looked young and fresh in a white t-shirt and beige Capri pants
that hugged her curves in all the right places.

Seb
hadn't offered to shake her hand so had to rely on visual clues to let him know
how she was feeling about coming back. If he had to take a wild guess, he'd say
she wasn't entirely sure of her reasons for being there.

"So,
how have things been since we last spoke?"

A
shy smile lit up her lovely face but disappeared all too quickly. "They've
been okay.
 
I'm single at the moment, so
there's not much to report in that department."

"That's
good."

He
realized what he'd said when Kerri gave him a strange look. "It's good
that I'm single?"

Yes, it is good.
I don't want anyone else to touch you but me.

"No, sorry.
I meant that
it's
good things have been okay."
 
Seb picked up the pad and pen from the table
next to him and prepared to take a few notes, determined to ignore the thought
that had just crossed his mind. "Have you thought any more on our last
meeting?"

"Yes,
I've been thinking about it a lot."

"Well,
I'm glad to see you again. I think we can do some good work together. This
week, I want to talk about your—"

"I'd
like to find out more about sexual surrogacy. What does it involve?"

Seb
scrawled something illegible on his pad as he pretended to make notes in order
to cover his reaction to her question. He was pretty sure he was about to bust
a blood vessel from the effort of willing his body not to respond to the cruel
temptation she was laying before him.

"Surrogates
work with a patient to help them become more comfortable with physical and emotional
intimacy." He stopped and took a sip of the water on the table next to
him, hoping she couldn't see the slight tremor of his hand. What in the hell
had possessed him to think seeing her again was a good idea?
 
"It typically begins with eye contact
and then moves on to hand holding exercises. Then, it builds from there."

"Does
it involve full intercourse?"

"Sometimes, but not always."

"Who
decides?"

"The
surrogate and the patient decide between them.
 
There are risks involved with this kind of therapy. Patients can get
attached to their therapist, so the process needs to be monitored. And it's not
inexpensive. Sometimes, it can take up to six months to work through the stages
and resolve any issues."

"Money
isn't an issue. Do you think I'm a suitable candidate?"

"Yes,
I do. You're an ideal candidate, but I'm not the only therapist to offer this
service."

"But
you do offer the service, or you wouldn't have given me the leaflet,
right?"

Seb
nodded.
"Right."
Wrong. I'm an idiot
.

"Then
why are you suggesting I see a different therapist?"

The
confusion on Kerri's face shamed him. Because he was being such a gigantic
moron, he was in danger of making her feel she was being rejected again. The
fact he was having inappropriate thoughts about her was his problem, not hers.

"I
thought it was only fair to let you know there are other people offering this
type of treatment."

Kerri
fell silent for a long time, but Seb gave her the space to explore her
thoughts. He couldn't help but hope she would change her mind. Volunteering to
be the one to help her overcome her issues was definitely a bad idea, but the
thought of her working in such an intimate way with anybody else made him
irrationally angry.

He
knew how hard it would be for any other red blooded male to keep his hands and
desires to himself if someone who looked like Kerri asked them to teach her how
to enjoy sex.
Jesus! They would think all
their Christmases had come at once!

The
vulnerability emanating from her in waves would make her easy prey for an unscrupulous
male.
 
Seb was having trouble keeping his
mind on track, even as he fought the urges that he thought he could control. It
hadn't been a problem in the past. Some of his clients would have tested a
weaker man than he was, but Kerri was another matter entirely.

His
gaze roamed over her long elegant neck, and he wondered how it might feel to
brush the shiny mass of curls to one side and nibble at the peachy soft skin
just below her ear. Would she jump a little as her nerves got the better of
her, or lean in to him and tilt her body upwards, inviting him to explore
further? If she did, would he be able resist the urge to thrust his eager hands
under her t-shirt and cup the breasts he hadn't been able to stop thinking
about for days? Was Kerri the kind of woman to sigh his name out loud as his
touch turned her on and her nipples got hard, or might she just bite down on
her lip, swallowing her groans as her body began to tremble?

His
dick got rapidly and painfully hard, forcing him to uncross his legs and use
his notepad to hide his erection.
Enough is
enough
. There was nothing for it. Sebastian was going to have to be honest
with her and let the chips fall where they may.

"You
look uncertain about this, Kerri. Would it help if I told you that I was wrong,
and that I think it would be a mistake for us to work together from this point
on?"

"Why
would it be wrong?"

"I'm
attracted to you,
that's
why."

"Oh!"
Her eyes got wide, and she stared back at him, her lush mouth open, still
formed around the shape of the sound she'd just made.

"Continuing
to see you as a patient would break every professional, ethical, and moral code
I can think of."

"So
you don't want to help me?"

Seb
let out a harsh bark of laughter.
 
"Oh, I do want to help you, Kerri. I'd love to unlock your secrets,
but not as your therapist. That's the problem."

"Oh,"
she said again.

He
got to his feet and walked over to the sofa where she was sitting and dropped
down on to the seat at the far end, ensuring he didn't touch her. "I need
you to understand that this is not your fault. I should have known after our
first meeting that I couldn't be your therapist, but I hoped I'd be able to
keep a grip on my urges. Unfortunately, I'm no different from any other man
when it comes to whether I find someone attractive or not."

Kerri
kept her face turned away, her gaze fixed on something on the other side of the
room. "What happens now?"

"Obviously
I won't charge you for this session, and I'll refund you for the last one.
After that, what happens next is up to you."

His
words brought her round to face him. "Why is it up to me?"

Seb
scribbled his cell phone number down on a corner of a page and tore it off.
"Here's my private number. I'd love to take you out to dinner, and I hope,
once you've had some time to think, you'll give me a call."

She
took it without meeting his gaze, her cheeks glowing with embarrassment.
"You're very direct, aren't you?"

"I
don't know any other way to be. I've seen far too many people miss out on some
wonderful experiences because they are afraid of rejection. I can't live my
life that way, Kerri. If I see something—or someone—I want, I don't hold
back."

The
blush on her cheeks deepened. "Please don't think I'm not flattered by
your offer, Seb. I am. But this couldn't have come at a worse time. I'm on the
rebound from a bad relationship, and I'm committed to getting help with my
problems."

"I
know, and it's part of the reason why I tried to ignore my attraction to you.
I'll respect your decision, but there are a couple of things I want you to
consider before you turn me down flat, okay?"

"Okay."

"First,
I'm very good at what I do, and I don't just mean in a professional capacity.
Does that seem a little arrogant to you?"

He
saw a grin pull at the corners of her luscious mouth before she managed to
smother it. "Yeah, just a bit."

He
laughed. "You're intrigued though, aren't you?"

"Let's
just say I'm curious to know what you mean."

"We
are trained to help our patients relax and get in touch with their inner
selves, that much is true. But that's not the only reason I'm good at my job. I
have something most other therapists don't have, as far as I know."

"Such as?"

"Such
as
an ability
to sense what others are thinking and
feeling, just by touching them."
 
He
saw the doubt in her eyes and ploughed on before she could give it time to take
root. "That makes me a very intuitive lover. You really won't find anyone
better equipped than me to help you get in touch with your sensual self."

"So,
you've done this for others? Women like me, I mean?"

"Nope.
You're the only
woman I've ever offered to do this for."

"I
hope you weren't counting on changing my mind. I don't even know what to think
about what you just told me."
 
Kerri
grabbed her bag from the floor, obviously preparing to leave. "The only
reason I'm not laughing right now is because I'm not entirely sure you aren't a
little bit crazy."

Sebastian
couldn't help but smile, even though he realized he was probably just
convincing her that he was certifiably insane. "I understand why you might
think that, and I can see you are desperate to get the hell away from me, but
would you do me one favor before you go? Give me your hand."

When
she hesitated, Seb got up and walked over to the door. He opened it and
returned to his seat, then directed Kerri's attention towards the couple
sitting outside in the waiting area.
  

"If
I do anything that makes you uncomfortable, I give you permission to scream
your head off. I'm pretty sure my receptionist and those people waiting out
there will all come running to your aid. All I want you to do is give me your
hand.
 
After that, I'll let you go
without asking any more of you, I swear."

Kerri
sighed and stuck out her hand, her impatience evident. He clasped it gently and
tightened his fingers as he felt her involuntary flinch. The first,
unmistakable sensation that came through was skepticism. Seb couldn't blame her
for that, but he needed to make it subside so he could concentrate on something
more important.
 
Rubbing his thumb across
the back of her hand did the trick. The gentle caress surprised her, and she
tried to pull her hand away, but he kept a firm grip on her. Her gaze locked
with his, and he felt her confusion give way to mild pleasure.
She likes me touching her
.

"How
do you feel about me holding your hand?"

"It's
okay." Her expression told him nothing, but the way her berry colored lips
parted to suck in a quiet, ragged breath told him everything. Her pupils grew
large in her chocolate brown eyes, the centers so dark, he could almost see his
own reflection in them.

A
heat surged up through his arm and, despite his own
arousal,
he knew the feeling had come from her. The edges of his vision blurred and
images began to filter through. He watched a scene unfolding in Kerri's mind as
a fantasy took her thoughts somewhere she'd never intended them to go.

"You
just imagined yourself grabbing my shirt and dragging my body top of yours so
you could kiss the smug grin off my face."

"No!"
She tried to pull her hand back again, and this time, he let her go. Kerri
pressed her palms against her flaming red cheeks, hiding her face from him.
"Please stop."

Seb
continued, reluctant to embarrass her further but acutely aware of how much she
needed to hear the next part. "You might have made the first move, but you
wanted me to take control. Kerri, you wanted me to dominate you … to hold you
down and make you submit to my will."

"Bullshit."

Kerri
fumbled with her handbag as she scrambled to her feet and put some distance
between them. Sebastian welcomed the anger etched into her features. It was far
preferable to the blind fear he'd in her eyes seen only moments earlier.
 
And even if she never spoke to him again, at
least he'd given her something to think about.
Something that
she needed to know.
 
Something
that might help her
find
peace, with or without his
help.