The Summerland (27 page)

Rising upon the planes. Astral projection and mental projection
.
Way, way down the road, but attainable, given time.

And last but not least: Sex magick, sensuality and eroticism. She had that one down cold, at least the sensuality and eroticism part. But it was hard to practice sexual magick, at least the way it was alluded to in the teachings, without a partner.

As she sat on the floor in the lotus position, she laid out the cataclysmic events of the last one hundred days or so in an orderly, dispassionate fashion totally unlike her impetuous, flamboyant nature of the past.

Who was she now? She was no longer Samantha Henning, at least not the woman who’d acted as whore and courier to a criminal, who’d bartered her body and soul for just one more line, one more hit. She was no longer the Samantha who’d gone out of her way to insult and torment those weaker, less fortunate than her. All of those dirty, callous thoughts seemed to be a million miles from who and where she was right here, right now.

At the same time, she regretted little over the course of her life. If she could go back and change one thing, make a difference in one way, it would be to reestablish her relationship with Arden. They’d been adversaries since adolescence, but she now recognized that their rocky relationship had been fueled by her own selfish nature. She’d always been jealous of Arden, the good girl, the good student, the beautiful little tomboy. Granted, Arden had always given back as good as she got, but the hurt had always seemed to run deeper for her, each argument seemed to tear them a little further apart. For that, she was profoundly sorry, both for herself and for Arden.

However this captivity, this forced bout of self-analysis ended, could she really tell herself she was not the better person for it?

And that was, perhaps, the thing that scared her most of all. Had her captor unwittingly made her into the person the both of them wanted, needed her to be? The line between the Samantha she was and the Diana she was becoming had become disturbingly thin, frighteningly fragile.

I don’t know if I can wait for the Midsummer ceremony. She is perfect and right. She has mastered almost everything I’ve placed before her, even though she has fought it each step of the way. She has even more potential than I. Samhain looms next, and the skin between the living and the dead will become thin and taut. I must wait until at least then.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Alleged Sheriff’s Department Misconduct

Mariposa County Sheriff William Ashton has been placed under investigation for impropriety surrounding the Ladykiller serial murder investigation. Sources within the department claim Sheriff Ashton’s involvement with Air Force officer Captain Arden Jones, herself the sister of an assumed victim, went beyond the bounds of good judgment and may have jeopardized the investigation as a whole. When questioned on the allegations, Mayor Ken Patricks stated only that an examination of the charges would be made.

The Ladykiller has claimed five known victims to date. Law enforcement officials have no apparent leads, and the missing person search for Samantha Henning, the sister of Captain Arden Jones, continues.

“
You have got to be fucking kidding me,” hissed Bill as he read the short blurb in the Sacramento Bee. Doug had shoved it directly under his nose before the first cup of coffee was even poured in the squad room.

It was not a good way to start a Friday morning. He hadn’t seen Arden since Sunday night and that separation and uncertainty was wearing on the one remaining nerve he had left. He’d wanted to give her a little time to think everything through. She’d come to him when she was ready, then he could begin courting her, as was her due.

This little tidbit just frosted the cake. He hadn’t breached any protocol in having Porter interview her, he’d made sure of that through the county legal counsel. Someone was leaking information again.

He was choking down that first cup of coffee, trying to figure out what to do about the rat within the department, when Ken Patricks stormed into his office, demanding to know what the hell was up with ‘that military chick.’ For a man of the people, the mayor had a surprising repertoire of curse words at his disposal, and did not hesitate to use them when warranted.

By nine Bill had fielded calls from each of the supervisors and the furious editor of
The Dispatch
. He could tell his “no comment” was starting to piss people off, and he didn’t expect it to get any better as the day wore on.

By nine-thirty he’d consumed half a roll of Tums. His usually cast-iron stomach was rolling queasily, sending him signals his brain didn’t want to receive.

* * * *

The utter stillness that descended over the squad room signaled Arden’s entrance. Within seconds, both deputies and administrative personnel alike found something absolutely enthralling on their desktops, not even daring to glance at the cause of the latest sensation in the Department.

Arden walked directly to Gail’s desk. Gail was the only person in the department besides Doug Brewster not staring conspicuously at their fingernails. The indefatigable secretary smiled tightly at Arden, bouncing the eraser end of a Ticonderoga pencil rapidly on the blotter on her desk. “Sheriff’ll be out in a few minutes Captain Jones. Why don’t you have a seat.”

“
Thanks, I’ll stand. Sergeant Brewster.” She said calmly, nodding her head the lawman’s way.

“
Ma’am.” Doug briefly pondered the wisdom of what he was about to do, then motioned his head toward the conference room that doubled as a questioning area. He watched the way every head in the room swiveled to watch Arden’s progress and imagined the result of the speculation grenade he’d just pulled the pin on.

“
Sergeant.” Arden was in her depth now, and both of them knew it. The rank structure and courtesies of every police department in the world were startlingly similar, almost mirror-like, to the military.

“
Listen Captain, the Sheriff would shoot me, and I mean that, literally, if he knew I was talking to you like this. I mean, he’s a grown man who makes his own decisions, but he’s my friend too. You know what came out in today’s paper?”

“
Yeah, that’s why I’m here. Mindy showed it to me as soon as I got back from my morning drive, barely able to restrain herself.”

“
Well.” He paused, shifting on his feet, uncertain how to proceed. “You know what this can do to the Sheriff’s career. I just hope you’re half the woman he thinks you are, to put him through this.” Then he stood there, like a great big slab of granite, prepared for the harsh words and recriminations that were sure to follow. Instead, Arden just looked up at him, a sad smile in her eyes.

“
I hope I am too, Sergeant, I hope I am too.” With that she turned, opened the door, and found herself a hard plastic seat in the lobby.

* * * *

She stood before him, magnificent in her frustration, a beacon amidst the files and folders and piles of his office. That article had hit her hard, below the belt. She dealt with it in the only way she knew how to, head on.

“
You just don’t get it, do you? Look at what my being here, our being together, has done. You’re under investigation, for God’s sakes. There just can’t be an us until all of this,” she gestured wildly, taking in the squad room, town, and county in one grand gesture, “is over. They’ll never leave us alone until it is. And then there’s me.

“
I took an oath to serve and protect my country, and my word is my bond. I have four years left before I retire, and I will serve each and every day of that term. It’s not that I don’t want to stay here, see what might develop between the two of us. I’ve discovered I want to do that more than almost anything. But I can’t have it at the cost of my conscience. You should know me well enough by now to know that.” Her intensity rivaled the sun, and he knew she meant each and every word, that she was not playing games or bargaining away her soul. And it made him love her and want her that much more.

“
No Arden, it’s you that just doesn’t get it.” He knew he was being harsh, but maybe there was only one way to say it. He wanted, needed her too much to put it in pretty words or phrases. “All of this, as you put it, will end in one of three ways. Samantha will show up unharmed and I’ll have a murderer on the loose, Samantha will show up dead and another girl will disappear and I’ll still have a murderer on my hands, or the county will boot me out on my ass before either of them happen for gross incompetence. Either way, it has nothing to do with you and I.” He paused, then continued in a gentler tone.

“
Let’s be real honest here. This situation sucks across the board. You and I have found something right, something good. Why let a shitty predicament kill that before it even gets started?”

“
The situation has everything to do with you and me. We wouldn’t be here if Samantha hadn’t disappeared. And now, there is an us, whether we like it or not. It’s up to us to behave like responsible adults, to make the best of bad circumstances.” She snapped back at him edgily. “And I’m going to do just that. I’m leaving for L.A. this afternoon. We’ve got an airshow coming up, and Major Allen wants me home as soon as possible to handle the PR end of it.

“
Now that the article has been published, today seems like as good a day as any.” She softened her voice, laying a hand on his arm in supplication. “Let’s be realistic, Bill. We both know how badly this article and my being here can hurt you. I have a career in Los Angeles, and it’s not something I can just call in sick for. You of all people should understand that.”

“
Well.” He drew the word out slowly, softly. He’d known she couldn’t stay in Mariposa forever, but he’d counted on more time to get close to her, to wear down that shield that seemed to spring up whenever they were together. She was his, dammit, even if she didn’t realize it yet. She hadn’t even left and already it hurt, hurt in a way he’d forgotten, or maybe never even known before.

“
If that’s the way it’s gotta be, then that’s the way it’s gotta be. I can’t say I’m happy with it, though.” He shifted away from her, running an idle hand over a stack of notes before turning to her again.

“
I’ve got to be straight with you, Arden, especially since we haven’t had a chance to clear the air since last weekend. There’s something between us, and it goes way past anything I’ve ever felt before, even with Caitlin. Now you need to be honest with me. If this is it, if I’ll never see you again except as the investigator in charge of your sister’s disappearance, then tell me now. If you’re planning on backing out on what we’ve started, I need to know so I can get on with my life. If you’re going to stick, then we need to figure out where we go from here.” He stood before her quietly, his voice and body rock hard with the intensity of his emotion.

Arden reached up, stroking a hand over his clenched jaw. “Until this morning I couldn’t and wouldn’t have answered that question. Now, I almost wish it was just a casual fling, because it would be easier for both of us.” She stood there, her hand still feathering his cheek, tears filling her eyes. “Maybe this is for the best. What we have burns so fast and so hot that most of the time I don’t know who I am. I need that Bill. I need to know that whatever else changes, for the better or worse, that I stay the same. I need to be Arden Jones, not Bill Aston’s woman or that Air Force chick. I need to figure out who I really am and I need to do that alone.”

She leaned in, raising her face, her lips to his. She expected his parting kiss to be fierce, frustrated, wild. But it wasn’t. It was tender and searching and tore her heart in two.

Interim

It is pure curiosity that draws me here. That such vitality, such burning, raw power should be shared by two siblings is amazing to me. I’ve watched the sister over these past weeks, the way she and the Sheriff circle around each other, never quite trusting each other or themselves enough to say aloud what their hearts and bodies have decreed as truth. It is amusing and sad at the same time. If either of them knew how close I was, how I slip in and out of their lives like a shadow, they would not balk at cementing their relationship past the physical.

She is truly amazing. If I hadn’t encountered Diana first she would have drawn me in like a moth to the flame. Where Diana is flamboyant and excessive, she is dignified and reserved. Only their passions stem from the same well. They can love and hate with a voracity, a verve I’ve never encountered. Ah, to watch them together when they were children, it would have been entertaining. Nevertheless, I am sure now that Diana is my one true goddess. She has learned too quickly, too well to be anything else.

I watch the sister now, as she interacts within her own environment. Planes thunder overhead, deafening the crowd. Would they hear her scream? I have considered subtracting her from the equation, simply because of the threat she poses. After all, who would suspect me? The identification I carry, the persona I project to these simpletons puts me beyond reproach.

No, I will not, but only because she is so fascinating to watch, to study. Such a mass of contradictions. The cool military professional here, a fumbling female there. If only the Sheriff could see her in this environment. He would take her in both hands and never let her go.

Ah, the Sheriff. It is almost a shame that by circumstance I must consort with females, because he is such a prime male specimen. He has pride and prejudice in equal measure, but they only serve to make him stronger. His only weakness is the woman, and it’s not a weakness, but a strength to need like that, to be needed like that.