The Ten Year Affair (5 page)

“It seems that I find myself in this situation a lot with you doesn’t it
Peter? I’m sorry. I’m fine now. I’ll be okay.”

“Alex you’re not okay. I can see that. I told you just yesterday that I’d
always be there to pick up the pieces for you and I meant it.”

“Peter please...”

“No Alex. Listen to me. I love you. You’re under my skin whether you like
it or not. When you’re ready to give me a chance I’ll be ready. Now I’ll leave
you alone.” He turned to leave and Alex grasped his arm. She was ready to take
this step. She had to take this step to save her sanity.

“Peter wait. You know I love you. I just don’t love you the way you want
me to.  But I think that I just might be ready to give you that chance now
Peter. Maybe I could grow to love you the way you want if I only tried.”

“That would please me so much Alex but I think that right now you’re a
little raw with hurt. Let’s give it some time, and then come see me again. I
don’t even want to know what the bastard did this time.” He kissed her gently
on the forehead and walked out.

Alex awoke and stretched as the sun bore through her bedroom window.
Damn, why hadn’t she remembered to close those blinds before she had laid down
for a nap? She rose and closed the blinds then quickly returned to the comfort
of her warm bed. She curled up into the fetal position and sighed. How good and
safe she felt when she laid like this in her bed. The usual tears started to
flow. Two months. It had been two months without a single word from Ian. They’d
gone two months before without talking to each other but this was different.
Alex had always known they would see each other again eventually but this time
she wasn’t so sure. This time it seemed as though the break was permanent. She
needed to pull herself together and get out of this bed. Her days had been like
this ever since what Alex called ‘that night’. The night she realized she loved
Ian, the night that he had made her feel as though he loved her too. Any time
not spent at work was spent curled up in the comfort of her bed sulking and
feeling miserable. It was all she could do to get herself out of bed in the
mornings. Her work was suffering which Peter was constantly pointing out to
her. If only she could take a vacation and lay on a sunny beach and drink
fruity umbrella drinks for awhile to help bring herself out of this funk. But
her upcoming trial schedule wouldn’t allow for any time away now. Three o’clock
on a Saturday afternoon. She had to get up. She had to do
something
today! As she was struggling with herself as to whether or not to get up her
doorbell rang.
“Oh, god no,”
she thought as she raised the covers over
her head. “
I can’t see any one. Go away!”
The bell was ringing
incessantly now. “
Please stop. Go away,”
Alex willed.

“Alex dear I know you are in there. I see your car out front. Now open
this door. Now!” the voice cried.

Alex quickly popped out of bed. “Oh dear god. Grandmother!” She hurriedly
scurried about the apartment picking up the dirty clothes and dishes scattered
about. “What on earth is she doing here?” Alex lamented.

“Coming Grandmother. Just give me a second.” Alex ran a brush hurriedly
through her hair and clumsily pulled a battered terry cloth robe over her
rumpled clothes. She took a big breath, plastered a smile on her face, braced
herself for what was to come, and opened the door.

“Grandmother! How nice to see you. What brings you here?” She said as she
gave her grandmother a huge, overly enthusiastic hug. Julia broke the hug and
stormed into the apartment.
“God I just want to go back to bed,”
thought
Alex.

“I’ll tell you what brings me here young lady and you’re not going to
like it. Look at this pig sty! What is going on with you? Your grandfather and
I are sick with worry over you. We haven’t seen you in over two months. You
don’t return our calls or accept our invitations to dinner. When Peter finally
phoned and expressed his concern for you too I said to myself, that’s it! I’m
going to find out what’s going on with that girl. My god child haven’t you been
eating? You are dreadfully thin. Are you ill?”

“Peter phoned you? He has a lot of nerve interfering in my life. What did
he say to get you so upset?”

“Peter said nothing to upset me. I was already very upset with your
behavior. He just confirmed that I had reason to be worried about you because
he’s worried too. What is going on with you dear? Why do you insist on holing
up here in your filthy apartment and refusing to see anyone? I can see you’ve
been crying. Please, tell your grandmother what’s bothering you so I can help.”

Alex hugged her grandmother and held on. She had always found such
comfort in her grandmother’s strong arms.

“Grandmother I love you and believe me if I felt I needed help you would
be the first person I talked to. I’m just feeling overworked and in need of a
long vacation that’s all. As soon as my next two trials are over I’ll be able
to relax and take some time off. That’s all I’ll need to start feeling better. Truly.
Please don’t worry.”

Julia eased away from Alexandra’s embrace to take another look at her
granddaughter. He face was pale and gaunt and her eyes blood shot and glassy
from the tears there begging to fall.

“Peter says your work has been subpar and you refuse to let anyone help
you. He’s worried about the poor work you’re producing and if it weren’t for
the fact that you are so important to these upcoming trials he would order you
to take a vacation himself. Though he suspects you would waste away your
vacation pining over your ended affair.”

“Peter had no right discussing my work or my affairs with you Grandmother
and he’ll hear about it from me. If I want to ‘pine away’ as you put it that’s
my business. I appreciate your concern Grandmother but I’m fine. I really am.
I’m just tired. So...tired.” Alex's body went limp and she fell to the floor
and collapsed in tears. Julia joined her on the floor and hugged her close.
Julia said nothing, just simply held Alex rocking her like she had done years
ago when Alexandra was a small child. Julia let Alex sob until she was
exhausted and couldn’t squeeze out any more tears. Alex finally lifted her head
from Julia’s shoulder and blew her nose on a tissue from her robe pocket.

“For so long Grandmother I swore I didn’t even like Ian. Then when I
finally figure out I’ve really loved him all these years he doesn’t even want
to see me anymore. I love him so much Grandmother. I can’t live like this. I
need him but he doesn’t need me. I am so lost without him.”

“I know dear. I know. Would you believe your Grandmother lived through a
similar experience when she was your age? I loved someone so completely, just
as you do Ian. I truly thought he felt the same about me and when I had to face
the fact that he didn’t love me the way I did him I acted just like you’re
acting now. It was just so painful to get through every day that I didn’t want
to even get out of bed.”

“Tell me how you got over it Grandmother. Tell me how you managed. I just
don’t think I can.”

“Of course you can child. You’re a much stronger person than I was then.
You have too much love to waste it all on one man who has no clue what he’s
giving up. Child do you realize how beautiful you are? Do you realize what a
wonderful person you are and how much those who know you love and admire you?”

“Really Grandmother?” Alex asked with wide-open eyes.

“You really are a foolish child. Everyone who knows you knows what a
loving, beautiful person you are. Why, I bet half of the Creighton County bar wishes they had a chance with you dear. You need to start paying attention. The only
reason they don’t approach you for a date is because that devil Foster has so
cleverly put out vibes that you were ‘hands off’ to anyone but him.”

“Oh, Grandmother please. I can blame Ian for a lot of things but I doubt
that’s true.”

“So you’re saying that what your Grandfather has heard from the other
attorneys at the courthouse is not true? Believe me it is. Just see what
happens when your Grandfather spreads the word that you and Foster are over for
good. Honey, you will be amazed at the dates you’ll have!”

Alex smiled and got up from the floor and helped her Grandmother to her
feet. “Grandmother you’re silly. Besides, the last thing I want right now is to
think about dating anyone.”

“Not even Peter? Alex that man loves you so. I could hear it in his voice
when he phoned and I’ve noticed the way he looks at you and dotes on you. Why
not give him a chance?”

“I know you mean well Grandmother but Peter is more like a brother to me.
I love him but in a much different way from the way I love Ian. And I do love
Ian Grandmother. I always will. I just simply don’t know how I’ll ever accept
that he doesn’t want me and try to make a life for myself without him. But I
know I want children and a man who loves me. I need those things in my life and
I pray I can find a man who can give them to me and make me forget about Ian
Foster. I’ve discussed this with Peter. I’m just not ready to go looking right now.
Do you understand?”

“I do understand Alexandra. I do. But it’s been two months Alexandra.
It’s time to get off your duff and quit feeling sorry for yourself. It’s time
to show Ian Foster what you can be without him. Show him that you can be happy
and successful in your work and your life without him. You wanted to know how I
survived my heartbreak darling? That’s how. I told myself that I was going to
prove to Foster that even though he’d broken my heart I was not going to
crumble. At first, I set out to make him jealous and hoped that he would change
his mind and decide he loved me. But in the process of trying to make Foster
jealous I found your Grandfather and realized that being dumped by Jason Foster
was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Jason Foster? What was Grandmother talking about? Ian’s grandfather?
Alex wondered.

“You’ll discover that yourself someday too dear. I know right now you
can’t imagine ever loving someone as much as you do Ian but it
will
happen
Alexandra. It will happen.”

“Grandmother you’ve never told me about any of this before. Are you
talking about Ian’s grandfather? Jason Foster?”

“Yes, Alexandra I am. I don’t talk about it to anyone out of
consideration for your Grandfather but Jason treated me much the way Ian has
treated you. And it was your Grandfather who showed me what it is to truly be
loved and appreciated. Once you find that man who really treasures you Alex
you’ll understand. Trust me. Now, how about some coffee and a bite to eat? Your
time of mourning has ended and your salvation begins now. Go hop in the shower
while I make us a little something to eat. When you’re dressed and ready to
start the day we are going to tidy up this place and go shopping. There is no
better way to begin a period of recuperation than by shopping for new clothes.
Go on now, get going!”

Alex smiled and hugged her Grandmother tightly and placed a kiss on her
cheek.

“You’re right Grandmother. I don’t want to be miserable the rest of my
life. I want to give you great-grandchildren some day. Thank you. Thank you so
much for coming by today.”

Julia smiled and laughed.

“Thank god I got through to you child. The next step was to call your
parents in Australia and get them here on a plane pronto. And I don’t think
your father would appreciate having his business trip cut short
.”

It had been two weeks since her grandmother’s visit and Alex was rapidly
becoming her old self. She had been working long, hard hours to catch up on the
preparation for this morning’s trial. She had forgotten her pride and asked
Peter for his help and together they were as prepared as they would ever be.

Alex entered the courthouse full of confidence in one of the new sassy
suits her grandmother had bought her on their shopping jaunt. She wore a light
gray pin striped suit that was accented with a lacy, bright white, tank style
blouse beneath. She had gained back a few of the pounds she had lost during her
bout of depression. Her soft blond hair was shiny and full of bounce once
again. Thanks to her grandmother, Alex believed she looked good which added to
her newfound confidence. She would survive without Ian in her life and she
would kick some serious butt in the courtroom today.

As she strolled across the courthouse heads turned to admire her just as her
grandmother had said. She had never noticed it before. Had it happened before
or was it happening now because of the confidence she exuded? Or was it
happening now because everyone knew Ian Foster had dumped her for good?
Whatever the answer she knew she liked it.

“Good morning Alexandra,” said Judge Albertson as he emerged from his
chambers. Judge Albertson had been on the bench for over 40 years now. He was
an elderly, frail man who was widely respected and admired by the members of
the bar. Alex had always been grateful to Judge Albertson for helping her to
get through her early bumbling years as an attorney by showing such patience
and giving her the guidance she needed.

“You’re looking lovely. Mrs. Albertson and I were beginning to worry
about you. You were looking so thin. But you seemed to have bounced back.”

“Thank you Judge. I was ill for awhile but you’re correct. I’ve bounced
back and am feeling better than ever. As soon as I wind up the Miller and
Jacobs murder trials I am off to a sunny location for some much needed relaxation.
How is Mrs. Albertson? I haven’t had a chance to really talk to her since the Governor’s
Ball.”

“She’s doing wonderful. She often asks about you so I’m glad I can go
back and tell her you’re just fine. Good luck today dear. I have to say I’m
glad I’m not sitting on those trials of yours. They aren’t going to be easy.”