The Ten Year Affair (9 page)

But when it had come time to say good-bye as he left for Berkeley she had
never been so miserable. She had cried for two weeks straight and Alex’s mother
had been so very understanding. Alex confided in her mother that Ian and she
had become ‘intimate’. Her mother had chastised her for having a relationship
so young yet had truly listened to Alex and tried to help to ease Alex’s broken
heart. Her mother told her it would be okay but that because Ian was her first
love, it would be hard for her to get over him. Her Mom had been a great source
of comfort then. Alex wished her mother were here now to talk to instead of off
in Australia where her father’s work had taken them. She wanted to tell her
mother how wrong she had been. She had never gotten over Ian ten years later!

The magic of that first night and the rest of the summer stayed with Alex
and always would. While Ian attended Berkley and Harvard Law School Alex had
attended a local college and law school at Indiana University in Indianapolis. She had given up on ever crossing Ian’s path again. She was surprised when
she found out he’d accepted a position in the local prosecutor’s office. She
had always imagined Ian would become a powerful lawyer in some big city. She
didn’t think he’d be happy to settle down in their small Indiana hometown.

Alex burrowed into her warm bed and wondered how she would ever live on
nothing but memories of Ian. She wondered where he was now. Was he with
Jennifer? Was he making love to Jennifer while she laid here with her heart
breaking? As tears began to fall she heard a knock at her door.

“Oh please go away,”
she thought.
“I’m fine but I just want to
be alone!”

She heard a knock again. Her glance at her alarm clock showed her it was
just after one a.m. She rose to answer the door wiping the tears from her eyes
and wrapping her battered terry cloth robe about her. Halfway to the door she
froze at his voice.

“Alex baby. It’s Ian. Are you up? Are you okay? Please answer baby.
Please.”

Alex felt something must be wrong for Ian to be knocking on her door so
late. She ran to open the door and found a very disheveled Ian on the other
side.

“Ian what is it? What’s wrong?” He looked at her questioningly.

“Nothing’s wrong Alex except that you fainted tonight scaring the hell
out of me and I want to know why.”

“For gods sake Ian it’s 1:00 in the morning. I don’t feel like talking
about this. I’m fine and I told you it was a combination of being tired and not
eating enough that made me black out for a moment.  Now go home or wherever
your lady is waiting for you and let me get some sleep.”

Alex attempted to shut the door but Ian easily stopped it with his hand.

“Stop being catty Alex and let me in.”

Alex stepped back sweeping her arm wide indicating to Ian to enter. “The
only reason I’m letting you in is because I don’t want you waking the
neighbors. Please make this little lecture short Ian. I’m exhausted if you’ll
remember which is why I fainted. I’ll be just fine after some good long hours
of sleep. What in the world would make you think it was okay to show up at my
door at 1:00 in the morning?”

“I don’t like this Alex. You’re not taking care of yourself. You can’t
expect to try these hard, high profile cases without a break down if you aren’t
taking care of yourself. You already admitted you’re not eating properly. And
it’s not just been since this trial started. It wasn’t too long ago that you
looked like absolute hell. Let’s go sit down.”

Ian grabbed her hand and took her to the sofa. He sat down next to her
without letting go of her hand. Alex was very conscious of the feelings that
flashed through her body at his touch. When his thumb caressed the back of her
knuckles back and forth she nearly fainted again.

She jerked her hand free from his.

“Ian. You are not my keeper. There is no reason for you to be here
fretting over me. I’m eating just fine and I...and I…” Alex felt nausea rise in
her throat and cursed that this would happen now with Ian here. If he guessed
why she had really fainted she didn’t know what she would do. “Damn!” she
cried, clamped her hand over her mouth and scurried to the bathroom. She
reached the bathroom just in time to lose all of what little she had been able
to eat last evening. She was thankful now that she had not eaten much. Ian
followed after her. He held back her hair and stroked her back as she wretched.
Oh why was he here?!

When she finished Ian handed her a glass of water to rinse her mouth and
a towel and kissed her tenderly on the top of the head. He knelt down beside
her gently smoothing her hair back from her face. “Feel better?”

“Oh yeah. Much better thanks,” Alex said sarcastically.

“Ready to go back to bed?” Ian asked.

She looked at him and nodded. He rose and gently cradled her in his arms
and carried her to her bed. He sat her on the bed, helped her out of her robe
and laid her back pulling the covers up to tuck her in. He noticed that Alex
was wearing one of his shirts as a nightgown. He’d wondered what had happened
to that shirt. He took off his suit coat and threw it on the same chair he
always had when they’d made love here. He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt
and went to the bathroom and retrieved a glass of water and a cool washcloth.
He placed the washcloth on her head, sat on the edge of the bed and helped her
to take a drink of water.

“Now. Are you ready to admit yet that you need some help? That someone
should be here taking care of you?”

Alex nodded. She really didn’t feel like arguing and it did feel good to
have him there.

“Would you like me to call your grandmother Alex?”

“Oh, no! No. Please Ian. I don’t want to worry her.”

“All right. Scoot over then.”

“Scoot over?” Alex asked.

“Yeah. Scoot over. I’m staying with you tonight and we’ve slept together
enough I don’t feel it’d be improper to cuddle up next to you in case you need
me again.”

She scooted over making room for him as he undressed down to his boxers
and lay down next to her. It was habit that she nestled her head under his
shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her. He felt good. So warm and so good.

“Ian? Why are you here?”

“Because I need to be Alex. I tried to stay away but I nearly died when
you collapsed tonight. I was so scared baby...so scared.” He hugged her to him
tighter and kissed the top of her head.

“Ian I won’t lie. I’m glad you’re here but you have to stop doing this to
me. I can’t have you coming and going out of my life all the time. Stay with me
tonight. Hold me. But in the morning you have to go.”

“I know baby. I know. Let’s just enjoy holding each other tonight.”

He couldn’t say the words. He’d intended to tell her he loved her and
would die if anything ever happened to her but he just couldn’t say the words.
What the hell was the matter with him? He knew he’d never be happy without her.
But she was better off without him. If he told her he loved her she may get
ideas about marriage and he’d only make her miserable if they were married. He
was married to his job and his goal of becoming a judge. He was holding her now
and he’d have to be content with that.

***

Ian awoke the next morning to the sound of retching. He jumped from the
bed and ran to the bathroom to find Alex once again draped over the toilet.

“Oh baby,” he muttered and rubbed her shoulders.

When she finished she crawled on her hands and knees into the hall and
sat up against the wall with her head on her knees. Ian sat down next to her
bringing with him a cold washcloth and glass of water again just as he had last
night.

“Here baby. Take a drink.” He handed her the glass and she took a small
sip and leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. Ian patted
her face with the cool rag and kissed her forehead.

“Alex, as soon as your stomach quiets down I’m taking you to the doctor
and I’m not going to argue with you. I’ll help you get a shower and get
dressed. Is your doctor’s number by the phone?”

“Ian I appreciate your help but I don’t need to go to the doctor. This is
just a little bug and it will pass.”

“Well, I’m sorry Alexandra but you’re an attorney, not a doctor. I’ll
feel better when I’ve had a more reliable opinion.”

Alex opened her eyes and mouth to give him a piece of her mind but saw
him grinning. God she couldn’t fight with him when he was flashing that
gorgeous smile at her.

“So tell me when you’re ready baby and I’ll strip you for your shower.”

Her head was pounding but he could still make her chuckle.

“You’re a riot Foster. Just take me back to bed and hold me again would
you? I'd forgotten how good you feel.”

Ian rose up and took her up in his arms and gently laid her in the middle
of the bed and crawled in beside her gathering her to him. She laid her head on
his chest closed her eyes and swiftly drifted off to sleep.

He hated that she was so sick. She was so pale and fragile. That damn Grainger
was going to hear it from him. They were working her way too hard. Someone
needed to look out for her and stick up for her. If she wouldn’t do it for
herself he would. When a person doesn’t get enough sleep or eat right they
catch every bug that comes along. Why just a couple of months ago Alex had
looked like she was wasting away from overwork. He may not have a physical
relationship with Alex any more but that didn’t mean he couldn’t look out for
her and keep her safe. Yeah, Grainger was going to get an earful from him about
taking better care of his best employee.

The phone rang and Ian answered it while Alex snuggled closer to him. Ian
spoke softly trying not to wake her.

“Hello.”

“Hello? Who is this?” Peter asked angrily. “Is that you Foster?”

“Yes Grainger it’s me and you’re just the person I want to talk to. Hold
on for just a second.”

Ian placed the receiver on the nightstand and slowly disengaged himself
from Alex’s grasp. He went to the living room to pick up the phone there so he
wouldn’t wake Alex with the harsh words he had for Grainger.

“Hello Peter. What the hell is that place of yours doing to Alex? The
girl is worn out. She’s been up sick all night and you just dropped her off and
left her without a care. She’s the best thing that damn firm of yours has got
going so you would think you’d take better care of her. You claim to care about
her yet you let her get run down and sick. What the hell is wrong with you Grainger?”

Peter was boiling. Of all the nerve of this hypocrite. No one had hurt or
abused Alex more over the last few years than this asshole and Alex catches a
bug and he has the nerve to blame Peter for working her too hard.

“I am not going to have this conversation with you Foster. I want to know
what the hell you are doing there with Alex!”

“Why Peter? Why do you care? Are you jealous? Are you afraid of what
might have happened between Alex and me last night? Well, you don’t need to
worry. Nothing happened because as I said she was up sick all night. I was here
helping her out which is where you should of been or at the very least called
her grandmother to come take care of her. In case you care, I’m taking her to
the doctor this morning and I’m sure one thing he’s going to tell her is that
she needs to get some good long rest so you better be looking to find someone
to take over some of her caseload.”

“So Foster. You’ve appointed yourself her keeper. What does Alex have to
say about that? You’d like it if someone else took over the Jacobs case wouldn’t
you? Afraid she might get you this time Foster? Where the hell is Alex? Let me
talk to her.”

“She’s sleeping and I’m not going to wake her up. She didn’t sleep well last
night. She tossed and turned all night. I’ll let you know what the doctor says but
don’t expect her in the office tomorrow either. I can tell you that much
already. We’ll finish this conversation later.”

It gave Ian great satisfaction to hang up on Peter. If Peter had been
there now he’d have torn him apart. For someone who supposedly loved Alex he
sure had a strange way of showing it. If Alex was his he’d never leave her
alone when she was sick. He’d always be there to care for her. He wanted to
always care for her but he just couldn’t make that commitment. It wouldn’t be
fair to Alex to play second fiddle to his career. He would help her get through
this illness as any good friend would.

***

Peter was back at the office pacing with anguish. She let him in the
apartment. Not only did she let him in, she let him spend the night. Peter
tried to remember that Alex was ill and very weak but it still irked him that she
would let Foster care for her when she had practically pushed him out the door.
Competing with Foster was futile. Peter knew that if he ever got Alex to accept
his proposal he’d still always be competing with Foster. But if he could get
Alex to marry him he knew she would never cheat on him. Alex would honor their
vows and be true to him. Maybe not always true in her heart but Peter would
rather have her that way than no way at all. He was just as obsessed with Alex
as Alex was with Foster. He knew he could make Alex happy if he could just have
the chance. Foster was never going to ask Alex to marry him. That was clear
since he’d not done so in ten years. Alex would give in eventually to Peter’s
advances and when she did Foster would finally lose one to the firm of Grainger
and Anderson. Foster could gloat all he wanted right now about one night.

Ian heard some rustling in the bedroom. Alex must be waking up.

“Ian?, Ian?!”

“I’m here baby. I’m here,” Ian called as he rushed to the bedroom.

“I need...I need...”

She didn’t need to say any more. Ian could see she needed to get to the
bathroom to be sick again. He carried her from the bed to the bathroom reaching
just in the nick of time. He hated to see her like this. He had to get her to
the doctor. She was probably in danger of dehydration. To hell with the doctor
he was getting her to the emergency room. He held her hair away from her face
as she got sick. When she was finished and leaning back against the wall in the
hallway again he brought her some cool water, got dressed and prepared to take
her to the hospital.